Little Killer
by Laylasmommy3
Summary: T is wild crazy and beautiful, but shes a killer. Trained by two of the best. Life in a club where the only place for women is being a old lady or a sweet butt, T can never be patched in but shes a killer they call on all the same. This is her story..
1. Who the hell is that?

**AN: this is my new story based off of Sons of Anarchy the** **TV show. It is mostly based out of Tacoma. Most of the characters are fictional and have nothing to do with the show also this story only slightly follows the time line of the show, major events you should be able to recognize, let me know if you enjoy it Please? **

**I do not own SOA, sadly though I wish I did : (**

All the men at TM turned and watched as brand new, decked out silver Audi pulled into the lot. If the car hadn't already gotten their attention, the woman driving it would have. The door opened and one long tanned leg came out, followed but another. The black heels laced up her calves, as she stood up, they noticed she had on white short shorts and a black top. The guys could tell she was tall even without the heels, and her long auburn hair was down in its natural curls. She had on an expensive pair of sunglasses. She looked over the guys, she knew who was who from the descriptions her cousin Jonny had given her, sadly though the one she was looking for and knew well was nowhere to be seen.

"of course" she grumbled. She walked closer to the men. A blonde haired guy, Jax she assumed, about her height approached her.

"Hey darling, something I can help you with?" Jax asked the woman, while appraising her.

"I'm looking for Happy" She said looking the blonde up and down. Jax put up his guard but didn't let it show. _Why in the hell was a girl like this looking for the killah? _He wondered

"Is he expecting you?" Jax asked, still laying on the charm. Gemma watched the scene from the office window. Gemma thought she knew the woman, but couldn't remember where from. She walked out of the office and towards the pair. The woman shook her head,

"Could you just let him know that T is here? He'll know who I am" she told Jax. Jax nodded and walked off. Gemma walked up to Jax and asked

"who's that?"

Jax shrugged his shoulders,

"Some chick named T, she's looking for Happy." Gemma thought for a moment and then it clicked. Jax watched as his mother processed her thoughts. Jax raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head, walking towards the girl. Jax kept walking towards the club house to get Hap.

As Gemma approached T she smiled.

"Been awhile baby girl, hows life treating ya?" Gemma asked the younger woman, the one that they called little killer.

"Just fine Gemma, thanks for asking. How about you?" the woman answered.

"Same, so what are you doing here?" Gemma asked with a hand on her hip. T just smiled, Gemma was the same as when she met her 5 years ago. After her father shipped her off to live with her cousin and his wife, because he couldn't handle her anymore. T was 17 and just fine, but living in Tacoma under the watchful eye of her cousin and his club the Tacoma Sons of Anarchy left a lot to be desired. Sarah, Johns wife, had brought her down to Charming, where she met Gemma. Who was nice enough, but a little tough around the edges, T though was afraid of no one, so Gemma's attitude did nothing but annoy her. Taylor was brought out of her memory by Happy yelling

"Little Killer, what are you doing here?"

T shook her head as all of the guys mouths dropped. Like usual she was sure that all of the guys thought that little killer was a boy, but she was far from it. T, not even bothering to remove her sunglasses or move closer to Hap responded in a flat voice,

"Koz and Jonny sent me, I'm sure one of them called you. So can we do this thing tonight because I got other places to be." Hap raised a eyebrow at her, sure she could of just said the first part, but she had other people to see before she left to go back to Tacoma, and really all she wanted to do was go home. She didn't want to come here, she didn't want to be stuck with Happy, or any of these Charming guys.

Tig came up behind her, grabbed her ass and said with a laugh

"Of course you do, starting with my bed."

T had his arm behind his back, his body on the ground with her knee in his back and her gun pointed to his head before he even knew what hit him. She leaned down close and said

"They don't call me little killer for nothing, didn't your momma teach you not to force your company on woman who don't want it?"

Happy came up to them and said

"Off T, NOW" she clicked on the safety and stood up, allowing Tig to do the same. Tig flipped his sunglasses up and glared at her. Hap put his arm around her which she shook off. T was pissed, _seriously _she thought, _not only do I have to deal with Koz and Happy fighting over me, and telling me that I belong to them, now I have to deal with this not so 'charming' assholes too?" _

T ignored the looks from all the men and walked to the back of her car. She popped the trunk and grabbed out a suit case. She pocketed her keys and walked off towards the clubhouse. All of the guys staring after her wondering what the hell just happened. Tig and Clay both looked at Happy. Happy was still watching the girl, who was headed towards their clubhouse.

"Who the hell is she, and why the hell is she here?" Clay asked the Tacoma, well used to be anyways, killer.

"That's T, or little killer, Jonny's little cousin. She hates being touched, unless of course she's drunk and she has yet to realize that she will be either my old lady or Koz's. We had to get her trashed and hold her down to do the outline of the crow. She was pissed when she woke up, almost shot us both and Jonny, for doing it."

Gemma looked at Happy

"You and Koz forced a crow on her? That's fucked up, what the hell is wrong with you Tacoma guys?"

Clay and Happy both shot Gemma a look, but of course her being her, she didn't even bat an eyelash at the two of them.

"Oh well, she knew it was bound to happen, doesn't drink with us often anymore, and sure as hell wont let me finish it, not that I can until one of us chooses to give her up, or she decides to choose one of us. Not that it will ever happen, but it keeps the guys away at parties, and keeps us from having to beat ass unnecessarily. As for what she's doing her, she's going to help with the tonight's plans." Hap answered both the questions.

Gemma shot the killer dirty looks and walked back towards her office. Gemma hadn't seen the girl since right before she went to juvie, and that was years ago. She knew that she had been trained by both Koz and Happy and was a better killer then both of them put together, but still it was fucked up that they forced a crow on her. She called Sarah to figure out what the hell was going on.


	2. You Belong to the club

**AN: So I am not too sure how you guys are liking this story but they I write for myself as well as for others. Of course I don't own the characters or anything but I have fun playing with them. Lonnie, Marcy, T and any other characters that you don't reconginze belong to me, and my story line. Hope you guys enjoy **

T walked into the clubhouse, a prospect was behind the bar. She walked up and said

"Hey, can I get a shot of Jonny walker and a beer please, and maybe point me in the direction of Happy's dorm room?"

The prospect looked at her, he wasn't sure who she was, so of course he asked as he poured the shot and grabbed her beer.

"Who are you? And does Happy know you're here?"

She flipped up her sunglasses and revealed some of the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen

"I'm T, and of course he does why do you think I have his keys, don't worry, Jonny, the Tacoma president, I'm his cousin. What your name?" She held up Happy's keys to show the kid that she wasn't lying.

"umm… Kip, and Happy's dorm is the 5th door on the left."

T nodded slammed the shot, grabbed the beer and headed towards the hallway. _That was just to fucking easy, wonder how long before hap notices his keys are missing?" _She thought.

Jax walked over to the guys after he heard who she was, he looked at Hap

"Aint you going to follow her, so she can put that bag in your room?"

Hap shook his head,

"She's just gunna have to wait my door is locked, and besides she probably needs a drink after that drive." Hap reached down and patted his pocket for the keys

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled and stocked towards the clubhouse. Tig yelled after him

"See I'm not the only one the bitch got an upper hand on. Looks like she jacked your keys, have fun with that one brotha"

Happy flipped him the bird, and walked into the clubhouse. He looked at prospect

"She had my keys huh?"

Kip nodded and swallowed,

"Sorry if I fucked up man, she had them, and I figured if she did you gave them to her and she was good to go in, she had a shot first though." Hap barely nodded at the prospect and headed towards his room. T was drinking the last of her beer when Hap walked in. She paid him no mind as she threw the bottle in the trash can. Her bag was on his bed opened. She walked towards the bag and pulled out the clothes, and the fake bottom. She pulled out the cash and guns and set them on Hap's bed.

Hap watched her for a moment then grabbed her, when he went to kiss her, she turned her head waiting until the last moment. She pushed him off of her.

"Seriously Hap, I'm not on a social call, so lets figure out the plan, and get ready to do this, I got to meet up with the girls tomorrow."

Happy grabbed her again and held on to her face and kissed her. She didn't respond to him. Just let him kiss her, the way it had been for the last two years he had been trying to get more. She responded to Koz the same way. She wasn't a dog, and she wasn't property, she was tired of them acting like they owned her. Plus she was still pissed about the tat thing too, fuckers. Lucky for her she woke up while they were fighting of who's crow it was going to be, unlucky for them she was beyond pissed. Jonny made the mistake of laughing as she came storming out of Koz's dorm room, She shot at him barely missing his shoulder, but they all knew that if T would of really wanted to, she would of shot his ass.

She shouldn't have even came, but the girls wanted to go see their brothers as well so she dropped them off. They had tomorrow off of school and needed to be back by Friday, she had no time to play games that she didn't even want to play. Stupid boys, but right now wasn't the time worry about that shit, they had shit that needed to be done, and need T to do it or she wouldn't even needed to be there.

They all sat down and talked out the plan, after they figured out what to do, Happy went and told T the plan. T just shook her head, she didn't like looking like a hooker, and she didn't like the plan, but whatever, this wasn't her club, wasn't her place to tell them they were being stupid, and she could probably do this all by herself. She smiled a sly smile at Happy, as she walked out of the clubhouse dressed like a junkie whore with a blond wig.

"looks like I'm going to need another happy face when this is all over and done"

She climbed in her car and speed off, not even bothering to wait for the guys. All of the guys looked to Happy, Jax asked

"how many happy faces does the little killer got?"

"Five" Hap answered

"She's pretty cocky for someone who's only killed 5 people" Tig said from in front of him. Happy laughed which made all the guys turn to him.

"unlike me, everyone of her happy faces is for 5 kills instead of 1, she didn't want that many happy faces on her, and she already has three kills, two more and she will need another one." Happy laughed again as all of the guys mouths dropped open.

"28 kills? That little ass girl has killed 28 people?" Juice said from behind him. Hap just shrugged and started his bike.

When the guys and T got back to the clubhouse, T slammed a few shots and drank her beer. Hap came up to her with his tat stuff. She nodded to him, and took a seat on the table that he was setting up on. She pulled up her shirt and turned towards Hap. He cleaned her skin and got to work. The tat took maybe five minutes, but that didn't stop all the guys from watching. She gave Hap a kiss on the cheek and took a couple more shots as the crow eaters and sweet butts filed in. T shook her head and walked towards Hap. He put his arm around her as she took a pull of her beer. Hap leaned down to kiss her and she turned her head again. It was smooth enough that no one noticed she rejected him. Hap pulled her closer and slid his hand under her shirt, rubbing the side that the crow was on. He leaned down and whispered

"You know what that means, you belong to the club T, stop fighting it." T shook her head and took a step back from him. She finished her beer and headed back towards his dorm room. A crow eater walked up to Hap then. He paid the girl the attention he wished T would let him show her.


	3. The Trinity

**AN: This is the chapter about T and her girls and how they came to be the Trinity, also kind of how and why T became T instead of Tay. No, she doesn't have a personality issues, she just changed when she became the little killer that Koz and Hap created and is having a hard time finding a balance between who she has become and who she wants to be. I am not to happy with the way this story part of the story right now, but let me know if you guys like it. I am trying to give you insight into who T is and why she is the way she is. So bare with me…. **

**As always I don't know own the SOA : ( but I do own my plot and characters. **

Hap and the rest of the guys were so wrapped up in the sluts that they didn't hear the car pull away from the club. T had snuck out of Hap's window. T was happy as hell when she passed the Thanks for visiting Charming sign. T called her girls and they all meet their usual bar. A undefined bar, one that didn't belong to or was run by anyone of their families or enemies. Lonnie and Marcy were waiting for T, when she walked in they yelled

"Tay Babe, we missed you!"

She smiled and slide into the booth with her girls. They got around of shots. Once they finished them, they got more. The girls or as they had been dubbed in juvie the trinity, Marcy was the sister of the head of the Mayans, and Lonnie is Leroy's little sister, while T is Jonny's little cousin. This was an interesting find for the girls considering that the three clubs are not always or ever on good times. In juive though, the girls got put in the same cell. Lonnie didn't think she would need protection that was until some of the 9ners decided that wanted to test Lonnie. Tay was pissed when a bunch of black girls come into their cell. Tay wasn't going to just sit by while a girl she had to room with for a year, would get her ass beat. So she jumped in when the all the girls ganged up on her. Soon after Marcy jumped in too, when the guards finally came to brake it up, all three girls were thrown into solitary. They could talk though, the cells were close, Tay leaned close and said.

"Why the hell did a bunch of black girls come up into our cell like that?"

Lonnie, even though it sucked was glad that her cell mates helped her.

"My brother is Leroy, he runs the 9ners and when I was 15, in high school and thinking I was in love, what was better than joining your brothers gang, and banging with your boyfriend? Those girls got caught, a couple months back and are pissed, or I don't know trying to show me that they run this jail. Stupid as hell if you ask me, but I guess they hope jumping the 9ner princess will give them some street cred. Thanks for not just standing there."

"Shit, I just helped a 9ner, wonder when the Spanish girls are going to jump me or us, since my brother is head of the Mayans and we all know that the Mayans and the 9ners don't exactly bang together."

"awe fuck man, at least were going to be in here for a while" Lonnie said then added "what about you white girl?"

T sighed, "I live with my cousin Jonny, he runs the Sons or Anarchy in Tacoma."

"this is just fucking lovely, the three top Cali gangs who don't get along, their princess are all locked in a cell together and helped one getting jumped by her people." Marcy said and sat down on her bunk.

"That's the point though, her own people jumped her, now we got to wait and see if the Spanish bitches want to start shit. I'm lucky there are no girls with the sons, but we got into this mess, I plan on sticking it out. I'm down if you guys are." T said

"I'm in" Lonnie said.

Both girls heard Marcy say something in Spanish then add "me too"

When the girls got out of solitary, they stuck together. Sure some Nord bitches, and some Spanish bitches tried them, but after they showed that they were sticking together, and didn't mind kicking someone's ass or spending time in solitary, they got named the trinity. Nobody fucked with them. When Jonny showed up a couple weeks later and was actually able to visit because for once she wasn't in the hole. He asked if she needed protection Leroy had offered some up, though it was at a high cost to him, Jonny didn't want his baby cousin getting beat all the time. Shit she had already spent almost the last three weeks in the hole, T shook her head,

"Nope I'm good, tell Leroy to ask his girls about the trinity. My girls got my back."

She made eye contact with her girls as she said this. She didn't know that her girls were telling their brothers the same thing. T left Jonny then, as he was walking out so were Leroy and Marcus. All of them mumbling about the trinity, when they noticed they all stopped. Jonny spoke up.

'What the hell is the trinity Leroy?" Leroy shook his head,

"No clue, but if we all got family in there and are mumbling about the same thing it cant be good." He said while eyeing the Mexican biker. "I got one of my other girls coming down, so I'm going to go in and ask her, you can wait if you want."

Jonny and Marcus both nodded. They headed outside and smoked. Leroy came out 15 minutes later and was pissed. He explained that his sister Lonnie, along with a white girl named Tay and a Mexican chick named Marcy were dubbed the trinity after three rounds in the hole, from beating on some black, Mexican and white hate bitches. The men all looked at each other.

"This shit should be interesting" Jonny said. When both of the guys looked at him he added "they got each others backs in here, they are going to have them when they get out. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that we should all team up or whatever, but I do think that we should make it so all of our girls are safe. No shooting at my girl and I wont shot at yours, make it a three statewide thing. Here, Washington and Nevada. I'll breach it with my guys tonight, if you guys are down."

Even though none of them liked the idea, they knew that if they hurt each other or one of the girls, their sisters wouldn't be speaking to their brothers anymore. Jonny knew T and if some shit happened she would never speak to any of his guys again.

T was broken from her memory as Lonnie tapped her on the shoulder.

"You straight Tay? You been acting funny like since you got here, and your early so we know something went down. Them Charming assholes not so Charming?"

T shook her head

"A bunch of fucking assholes and aside from that got Hap and Koz both still on my ass about the whole crow thing, 'you know what this means T, you belong to the club, blah, blah, blah.' Fucking bastards! I didn't even want that shit they got me drunk let me pass out and then fucking held me down while they did it. At least its only the fucking outline shit still pisses me off I'm not fucking property, I belong to no one but me and well of course you girls. We are the mother fucking trinity but still fucking ass bastards. I snuck out the god damn window and no one even noticed yet. Probably be getting a call soon though."

Both girls nodded. They remembered the night those fuck heads did that shit. T almost fucking killed them. After a couple more drinks the girls headed to a hotel for the night. Marcy and Lonnie shared a look once they got to the hotel, they knew that T was at the end of her rope. Not a lot of people could see it but T was broken inside. She had been since she became the little killer. Tay was still in there, but she was having to hard of a time balancing all the fuckery that is now her everyday life. Her girls just hoped that she could find a balance. They didn't want their best friend to become cold hearted, it didn't look well on her.

They decided they would head back to Washington tomorrow and they were going straight to their house right off campus. As T pulled into the hotel her phone rang. Hap was displayed on the caller ID. T hit the ignore button and called Jonny

"Where the hell are you?" Jonny said into the phone

"On my way home asshole, tell hap to quit fucking calling me. I did what needed to be done, and when he started getting all demanding and shit I bounced. I told you. I don't fucking belong to nobody and they better fucking get that shit soon, I'm done playing games I didn't even want to play in the first fucking place Jonny. This crow tat that they are so damn fucking proud of that shits going, tomorrow first fucking thing seriously get them to quit the shit or come summer once schools over I'm out of this bitch for fucking real."

Jonny sighed, he knew that shit was a bad idea, and he knew it was going to come to this,

'look just come by the shop tomorrow and we'll talk okay baby sis?"

"No" T clipped and hung up. Jonny tried to call back but her phone was off. Jonny called Hap

"she's on her way home, and shes really pissed. Hope you had a good time fuck head because shes getting rid of the crow tomorrow and theres nothing any of us can do about it. She didn't want it in the first place. But for real though she said you guys don't quit the shit she's out of the state once school is done and I aint losing my baby sister because you guys don't fucking listen."

Hap sighed and pushed the crow eater on the floor and told her to get out. He was pissed now.

"Im bout ready to just go find her ass and drag her back kicking and fucking screaming, this shit is old Jonny. I bet she still has the crow the next time you see her. I don't understand why she plays these games. She has had it for a year now and never got it covered. She always threatens to get it covered when she's pissed and she doesn't. She just likes to piss off." Hap told the Tacoma Pres.

Jonny sighed, Koz said almost the same thing

"She's not playing brother, she never fucking was. I wish you guys could understand that, get it through your fucking heads that not all females in this fucking world want you. Let it go."

Jonny hung up. Koz and Hap were driving him fucking crazy. T didn't want them, and she wasn't making a game out of it. She was fucking serious, and after she almost shot and killed all three of them for that tat stunt, he knew they had gone too far.

The trinity pulled up to their favorite tat shop in Seattle. T walked in and saw that Jake was working. He smiled at the woman.

"Hey baby what can I do for you today?" He asked giving her and all the girls a kiss on the cheek. She shot him a smile. T had a huge crush on Jake, but wouldn't take it any further then a crush until this Hap-Koz shit was done for ever. She wouldn't bring drama to one of the best people in her life.

"Do what the hell ever you can to change this into something that is not a fucking crow and tell no one that you did it." Jake nodded, he was used to her and the girls strange requests.

He knew that some of the shit that they did and lived around wasn't all good. He asked T out on a date, and she told him she wanted to go, really fucking badly, she just didn't want any drama to follow him. He agreed and they did hook up a couple times, but that was it. He loved working on her, except for the happy faces on her he did all her work, and well whatever the fuck it was she was now asking him to cover up. He looked at it and then drew up a phoenix that should cover it without looking shitty. She smiled at the design when it was done and they went in the back.

The tat took three hours and once it was done, she was happy as hell with it. She paid him, and tipped him and the girls left the shop. Once they got into their house T turned her phone back on. There were messages from both Koz and Hap telling her she better not get her crow covered up.

"Oh well" she laughed, "too late" and there was a message asking her to call Jonny back.

She decided to head over there instead. Her girls were worried about what the guys would do when they found out, but they knew T could handle herself. They just hoped that having a face off with Koz wouldn't destroy her. She used to talk about Koz all the time when they were in juvie. She had nothing bad to say about the man. She wanted him more then she wanted anything, and that was the reason she gave her girls when she told them about the training. She wanted to be an old lady, to wear a crow and cook and clean and have babies. Now she's always wearing that damn killer mask, the domestic part of her pretty much died when the killer part was born.

"I'm worried about her chicka" Marcy said

Lonnie nodded "Me too girl, me too"

T pulled up to Tacoma auto and got out. Koz came rushing at her. She just looked at him, when Koz went to grab her Jonny called out

"leave my cousin alone Koz. I thought we had a talk about this last night and then again this morning." Koz ignored him and kept coming at her anyways. T threw her arms out and pushed him away, she knew she wouldn't be able to take him in a but she didn't want him anywhere near her. He would weaken her resolve in admitting that she was giving up everything she ever wanted. She sighed loudly

"you know Koz, you used to be one of the favorite people in the whole world, you and Happy both", she didn't notice that Jonny was on the phone and she wouldn't find out until later that Happy was hearing everything she said, "I loved you, both of you so much, then you guys went on this fucking power trip over me, 'Choose T, who do you want to be with' all the fucking time. Well you finally got your fucking wish and I hope it makes you happy, because this is what I choose," she held up her shirt where her freshly tatted phoenix was, the cover up for her crow. "Neither, I am not something to be fucking owned. I would gladly give back all the shit you two taught me if it meant that I could be in the same room with you guys again without feeling like a fucking object. Right now I hate you both. I hope your both fucking happy now" 

Jonny hung up the phone as T stood tall in front of one of the men she gave up everything for. She looked at Koz, his face was in a mask but you could see the hurt in his eyes. He raised his hand toward her, she thought for sure he was going to hit her, but instead he touched her face gently and stalked off.

Jonny shook his head. He walked over to his baby cousin, the little sister he never had. Her calm mask showed nothing, not even her eyes, a trick she learned from the guys. He never planned on letting her become the little killer but she had and she was. She smiled at him and gave him a hug. She walked to her car climbed in and drove home.

Marcy and Lonnie turned toward the door when T came storming in the house, but with one look at her they realized that it wasn't T the killer walking in that door, it was Tay and she looked broken. She walked over to the couch and plopped right down between them.

"remember in juive how I was still bad ass and smart and knew how to talk my way out of anything and if that didn't work I fought my way out of it? Remember how I all I wanted was to get out and turn 18 and get a crow and become Koz's old lady?" She asked her girls, the only ones who were ever fucking honest with her.

"Of course we do, I remember making fun of his name. After you told us his name I think we laughed for like five fucking minutes." Lonnie told her, while Marcy nodded both wondering where this way going, and hoping like hell that Tay didn't lose it in the process.

"I really thought that doing all this would bring us closer, make him love me more. I realize now that I was just a stupid little girl. I got what I wanted though, he wants me to be his old lady and give me a crow, but I just gave it all away, threw it right back in his face. I noticed and it took me awhile, but neither Koz or Happy really love me. They are obsessed with me, with the person they created. I hate being her, I hate feeling cold hearted, but I cant shut it off. Its part of me now, Jonny said that I just have to find a balance, like how it is being best friends with you guys and being part of the club, but that's hard too. I made my choice to belong more to you guys then them, but I am afraid. For the first time in a long time I am scared and I don't know what to do. I need to get away from here once schools done. I have to find myself and decide who I really want to be." T finished, but instead of looking at her girls she just stared straight at the wall.

Marcy and Lonnie just looked at her, and then each other before leaning forward and pulling her into a group hug.

"No matter what, we are here for you and we love you. No one will break up the trinity" Marcy told her girls.

It was weird for her, because for once Marcy needed to be the strong one. Her girls needed her to help them get through this. Tay had always been the strong one with them. She was the one who was the advice giver, the protector, the big sister and the shoulder to cry on. Right now though she needed someone else to be the level headed one and Marcy knew that it was her turn to take the place of rock. And that was exactly what she planned on doing. Marcy would make sure that Tay got as far away from this hell as she could after graduation.

Once Tay went to bed Marcy looked to Lonnie.

"I'm thinking that there is a beach in Florida calling that girls name. We need to get her passage down there because you know she will want to drive, she thinks better that way." Lonnie nodded in agreement and they headed off to bed themselves, after all there was still three weeks until graduation.


	4. ATF, my a

**AN: for any of you reading my story the second son, I am trying to update that but right now I am having a little trouble with deciding how I want their first time to go, and well I want it to be perfect because after all it is going to be my first lemon ;) **

**As for this story, I had most of the chapter done already, just had to tweak a few things. Hope you guys like it and I hope that you review! Thanks to all my lovely readers who have reviewed, added this story as a favorite and the few people who really like my words and added me as a favorite author. You guys make my world spin! I hope that you enjoy this Chapter. **

**I don't own anything, but I do love the show and I cant wait for Jax to go and kick some as in Belfast! (Sorry I just watched the new episode) Now on with the story 3**

The three weeks coming up towards summer came fast, she hung with her girls, went to school and even saw Jake a few times. The only son to visit her was Jonny and it was nice that the place was quiet. She was not thrilled that a couple weeks after graduation she was asked to come to the club house. Of course she went as her girls were getting ready for their trip to Cali, they invited her but she wanted to stay home for while, after all her last trip in Cali was shit and she didn't want to deal with the pain or anger bringing up those memories would cause. When T decided to stay in Washington, Marcy decided now was as good of anytime to tell her of plan 'escape the drama', they created for her.

"Tay babe, lets talk for a minute before we leave okay?" Marcy yelled from her bed room.

Lonnie and Tay filed into her room and sat on her bed.

"Some me and Lonnie were talking, and well we were thinking that some time away from this hell would be good for you. You know maybe have a back-up plan for if shit hits the fan again. I'm not talking Cali either. We talked to our brothers and as long as when you are ready to leave you go and talk to them, they will give you free passage to the east coast. I know that the Sons got another charter in Florida. Maybe some time by yourself laid out on the beach would help?" Marcy asked her best friend.

"That sounds like a good plan, but I have to head to the clubhouse first apparently something is going on and they need my help. Lets keep this plan quiet though because I might not even use it but if shit keeps going the way it is I will." T told her girls.

Lonnie and Marcy knew that it would end up coming this. T wouldn't leave until she got really pissed off but at least she had a plan for when it got to that point, because they were sure that it would.

She pulled up to the shop and walked into the back. She entered the clubhouse and all of the guys looked at her. She looked as good as ever, but there were bigger things then the Koz-Hap-T drama going on, the Charming sons were in trouble.

After the ATF thing was explained, Jonny asked if T would go down and look into it. She wasn't too pleased with the plan though. She would have to pose as Hap's girlfriend for the time being so that she could actually get in with the AFT bitch.

T left for Charming and didn't have to wait long. She was pulled over a block from the shop. She called Hap and told him that she would probably be brought in for questioning. She was a block away so he needed to come get her car.

Hap watched as T was loaded in the back of that Stall bitches truck. He climbed into her car and started it with the spare key she kept in it. He pulled it into the lot and walked to the clubhouse. After he drank a beer he told the guys what happened.

T was brought into one of the Charming PD, interrogation rooms. She sat at the table, and asked for a smoke, which they gave her. Stall walked in and sat across from her

"So Ms. Taylor Kathryn West, your cousin is Jonny West the president of the Tacoma Son's huh? Daddy sent you to live with him after five arrests, all of which were thrown out, until you assaulted that girl and got sent to Juvie."

T kept a calm face. There was nothing on her, and this bitch didn't have shit, all she was doing was questioning her. The trinity had degrees in psy and criminal law, for this exact purpose. When Stall got nothing from her, she went on

"Known affiliated member with the club, also known as T, best friends with Marciana and Leona, the princesses of the Mayans and the 9ners, become best friends in Juvie, spent a lot of time in hole together. Heard that you guys are a mean threesome."

Still T showed nothing, Stall kept reading and cursed when she got to the part that said

"Degree in psychology and criminal law, fuck"

T smiled at that.

"As I'm sure you know even though it was a long time ago when you went to school, you are not holding me, I can leave whenever I want to, so far your not asking me anything, so how about you just get to the point of me being here so I can go, or I could just leave now" T said as she went to go stand up.

"So I heard that you and your little boyfriends got into it a couple months back, huge show in Tacoma about choosing between Koz and Happy, who might I say isn't very Happy, both of them treat you like objects, why do you put up with that?"

T shrugged, Stall was sure that would get a reaction out of the bitch but it did nothing. T stood up

"Since you have nothing to ask me and are basically harassing me, I should call your superior, but I think I will just call my ride and go home now."

T walked to the door and went to go pound on it. Stall asked another question though

"So what your just loyal to people who treat you like crap? Let me help you, I can get you a cop job, and make all this go away, just tell me what you know about SAMCRO."

T turned around and smiled at the bitch, _she thinks shes that good that she knows what everyone wants, I got this bitches number_

"they are a bunch of mechanics, who love motorcycles, I don't know what you people think, but they are not some criminals who break the law every chance they get." T pounded on the door then, and Stall hit her fist on the table. T ignored her and walked out of the room. She pulled her phone out and called Hap to come and get her.

When they got back to the clubhouse T sat down and told them what she knew and what she was sure of.

"She is going to go after them woman first, and when that doesn't work, I am about 99% positive she will try the oldest trick in the book. She's going to find the person in this club who has the most to gain from becoming a rat and pose them as one, I don't know your people but I'm pretty sure that no one is going to rat, she's just going to make it look like it. Bug their phone and their car and all that shit. Watch her the bitch is pretty tricky. Well I need a nap and then I have places to be, so where am I sleeping?" Hap lead her to his dorm. She laid down on the bed, she wasn't expecting Hap to pull this shit again, but she let out a frustrated sigh when he joined her on the bed. Hap pulled her close and whispered in her ear

"That Stall bitch showed me pictures of you and your little tattoo boyfriend, was that all bullshit too?" He grabbed her shirt and pulled it up to where the phoenix now is and where the crow outline used to be

T pushed his hand off her and pulled her shirt down. She rolled as far away from him as she could get.

"This life we live Hap, it isn't safe for normal people, but that doesn't mean we want them any less, sometimes I need something to remind me that I am more than just the little killer you and Koz created. I hate who I am sometimes, and you know what, a lot of the time I hate you two for it too. I used to love you guys so much, but when I got out of juive everything changed, not just me, but the way you guys treated me, after I became better then both of you, it became a war of you deserved me most, and if you want the honest truth Hap we all deserve each other, because of what we are. We don't deserve people with decent jobs and nice houses, we don't deserve to have families, because they get in the way and get used as leverage. We're all fucked up in the head, but I am not a fucking possession and I refuse to be treated like one." T rolled over so her face was hiding from him and closed her eyes. Hap grabbed her and pulled her close to him.

"Then fucking be with me, be with Koz, be with both of us, I really don't fucking care, but I wont give up until I have you, Koz has you or no one in this whole fucking world will have you. Remember that."

T shook her head as Hap left the room. After she woke up from her nap, she called Jonny.

"I need to come home, now. Before shit hits the fan around here." T told Jonny not even bothering with a hi or anything.

"What's going on T?" Jonny asked concerned for his cousins safety and sanity.

"If I stay here for any longer I will lose my mind Jonny, I swear I'm about to go off half cocked." She told him through her teeth.

Jonny could hear her grinding her teeth and he knew that something bad happened.

"A'ight I'll call Clay and Hap now, tell him that something came up and we need you back. You better come straight fucking here and explain." Jonny told her before hanging up.

When T pulled into the lot, she climbed out of her car and headed straight for the office.

"He fucking threatened me Jonny. Hap fucking threatened ME!" she yelled at him.

Jonny just stared at her. Never once had he seen her like this, and he never would of thought that Hao would for real threaten her.

"What did he say?" Jonny asked in a low voice trying to keep his cool.

"Be with him, be with Koz or he wouldn't stop or I would never be with anyone. I'm done Jonny. I'm so fucking down." She told him in her killer voice.

She stormed out of the office, slamming the door on her way. Jonny sat there and stared at the door hearing the tires squeal out of the lot. He didn't move, he couldn't even think straight. He was broken from his stare when Koz knocked then opened the door.

"Everything a'ight man? T looked killer pissed when she left."

Jonny shook his head and lit up a cigarette, motioning for Koz to take a seat. Once Koz was seated Jonny stood up.

"This shit is gone on for far too fucking long and I let it. Not no fucking more though. We ride to Charming tomorrow. Hap just threatened my little cousin, my little sister. I'm done with this shit. Us three we need to have a little chat." Jonny told Koz, than stormed out of the office.

Koz sat still, he didn't know what to say. Hap is his best fucking friend, and the fact that he just threatened T, the only woman to ever mean anything to either of them was wrong. Koz knew that Hap was pissed that she covered the crow, pissed that she kept shoving off their advances, and pissed because for once in a long as fucking time he had been hurt. No one though, no one threatened T and Koz knew that there would be hell to pay for this shit. Jonny was done, fed up and tired of the way that T had been treated and if they didn't pull their heads out of their asses, they would be on the Tacoma presidents shit list for a long as fucking time.

"FUCK" Koz yelled out as he punched the door open. Not even bothering to head back to the garage, he went straight for the bar at the clubhouse. Everyone staring at him, but right now Koz could give two fucks.

Taylor had pulled up to her house, still fuming about the whole damn situation. She took the bottle out of the kitchen cabinet and took a swig before heading to her room and packing a bag. Wasting no fucking time, she took another swig capped the bottle and grabbed the bag. The bag of course had a couple guns, a shit load of cash and all of her summer clothes. She locked the door the apartment and headed towards her car. She pulled out of the lot and headed for the highway. Upon hitting the Cali border she picked her phone up and sent two texts. One to Marcy and one to Leroy

"Taking plan b, text me time and place for meet, just hit border."

She didn't have to wait long for a reply.

"Our bar, three hours sorry baby girl" Lonnie's text read.

"See you soon chicka, sorry it came down to this" Marcy's text read.

T flipped the phone closed and lit a cigarette. Leaving was a pussy move and she knew that, but for now it was all she could do. She was mad enough to have seriously wanted to shoot Hap's ass, and she was tired of the drama. Besides it wasn't fair to Jonny because he couldn't really pick a side without being a traitor to one or the other. Removing herself from the situation would be best for everyone's sanity, hers included.

Picking her phone up she made one last phone call before she needed to ditch it. The call went straight to voicemail, just like T hoped it would.

"Hey, its me. I'm really sorry to be doing this over the phone, but I don't really have another choice in the matter. Shit hit the fan for me, but I promise that I'm safe and your safe and there is nothing to worry about. I'm heading out of Washington for awhile. I had fun Jake, you're a great guy and I hope that you find someone who deserves you."

T hung up the phone and felt the tears in her eyes. She knew that once Jonny got the letter she wrote him, he would make sure no harm came to Jake. None of this was his fault, it was hers. She brought an innocent guy into a world he had no business being in and she never felt more shitty about anything in her life then she did about that. Wiping her tears away she took the back off the phone and the battery out. She tossed the battery out of the window first. An hour later she tossed the rest of the phone out the window as well. She knew that when she got to the bar to meet the girls and their brothers she would have to get under the hood and take the tracking device out. She would worry about that later, right now her only focus was getting to the bar and getting his meeting over with. So that she could get the fuck out of here, away from the west coast and find a nice little beach in Florida to lay on.


	5. activate plan b

T pulled into the bar in Lodi, it was a neutral bar, which is the only place that they all ever met at. Sure Marcy and Lonnie and T were allowed anywhere, but with the head of the Mayan's and the 9ners they had to meet somewhere neutral. Climbing out of her car she ignored all the looks she got. Walking into the bar she spotted her girl and their brothers in a back corner. Walking towards them she slid into the booth next to Lonnie.

"Hey guys, thanks for this." T was the first one to speak before pulling out a cigarette with a shaky had. Marcus reached across and lit it for her.

Everyone was staring at her, T was shaky which was never a good thing because that meant that she was pissed enough to kill a mother fucker right now.

" Its not a problem, no one will tell us where you are going, all we know is that you want passage to the east coast and because all of our guys know your car you need permission. I take it Jonny doesn't know your leaving or he would be here as well." Leroy told her.

All three girls nodded their heads.

"I know taking the pussy way out isn't the right way to do things but if I don't, I'm going to go off half cocked on the next mother fucker who looks at me wrong. I need a break, I need space. Shit I need a new fucking life but we all know that isn't possible so I'm just going to take a vacation." She told him.

Marcus nodded at her words, waving the waitress over and ordering a round of beers.

"I got no problems on making that happen, I already , made my calls so your good on my end. What I'm worried about is any drama falling back on me for this shit." Marcus said looking at her. Shit if it was Marcy pulling this shit he would be pissed, but T was a different story and not just because she wasn't his little sister. T was a cold blooded killer just like him and Leroy. You didn't get to the top by being a pussy and T didn't really need to ask for this, she was doing it out of respect for them. She could kill anyone that approached her, but both men knew that she didn't want to do that. Shit she probably didn't want to have to watch her back the whole damn way either. Besides there was only a couple SOA charters on that coast so she needed to be on good terms unless she planned on heading down towards one of them. T might not know it but she made quite a name for herself and everyone knew who she was and wanted her for themselves.

"They'll come to me first because my relationship with the sons is better then ours. I got no problems with this, I'm sure you already figured that once you call and tell them your gone they will head my way. You leave them letters or anything?" Leroy asked her. T nodded and pulled three letters out of her purse, handing them over to Leroy.

"I'll call them once I'm out of Cali. I got to stick around for a little bit" She said when everyone gave her curious looks she added "Jonny had Juice put a tracker in my car the last time we all went to Charming. I have to wait for the car to cool down before I go in and pull that shit out. He'll have all the sons on the east coast looking for me. I know that they'll find me I'm not going into hiding just trying to avoid the drama and make shit eaiser on Jonny. Its hard to choose between blood and bond I hate that he's in that position."

All three of them nodded. Marcus and Leroy motioned for the girls to move. Both of them gave her hugs, Leroy leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Always a place as a 9ner if you want" He joked. T slapped his arm playfully and squeezed him tightly before whispering back. "I don't think that I can ever express how much this means to me" Leroy kissed her cheek and nodded before leaving.

T sat at the bar with her girls, they let her finish her first beer and start on another before they asked the question she knew that they had been waiting to ask.

"So, what the hell happened?" Marcy asked her.

T shook her head before putting it in her hands and letting out a loud sigh.

"You know, I had to go down to Charming, guess they got some law problems. Well the fucking bitch showed Hap pictures of me and Jake. Hap threatened me. Said be with him, be with Koz, be with both of them or no one would have me. Apparently if their not a son they aint good enough. I called Jonny and came straight home. On the way here I ditched my man phone after calling Jake and telling him it was over in a fucking voicemail. For all the shit I have ever fucking done, I hate myself the most for letting Jake get mixed up in this shit. I know that Jonny will look out for him though. Hap, actually threatened me, not a fucking joke he was dead fucking serious. I have to get out of here before I kill him or Koz or I lose my fucking mind." T told her girls.

They both nodded while T slammed the rest of her beer. They all stood up and went to the bar, T paid the tab. Outside Marcy and Lonnie stood around both holding flash lights so T could see. Upon finding the tracker she ripped it out and threw it on the ground before stomping on it.

"I know he worries but I need this drive in piece and I need at least an hour on the beach before I get cornered by the Florida charter." She said looking into her girls worried eyes. She smiled at them.

'Sorry your going to have to deal with Jonny, Lonnie. I would bet that Koz and Hap will be with him. I love you guys and I will call you soon okay?" T told her girls pulling them both into a hug.

"Never know maybe you will find the perfect son down there in the Florida charter." Marcy told her giving her an extra squeeze before pulling away.

T laughed "God, I don't know if I will ever find a man, but its wishful thinking."

T climbed in her car, waiting for Lonnie and Marcy to get in theirs. They all pulled out of the bar lot, Marcy and Lonnie heading back towards town, T headed for the highway. She would stop for gas once she got out of Cali, that's when she would make her call. T stared out at the road, it was already midnight. She knew that Jonny would be headed for Charming tomorrow and she just hoped that he wouldn't hate her for leaving.

Jonny pulled into the Tacoma clubhouse lot early. He had already called and woken up Koz, who was waiting for him. They pulled out and headed for the highway. The night before after explaining to Sarah what happened Jonny called Clay and told him that him and Koz were headed that way. He didn't explain what happened he just told him to make sure that Hap was around.

Jonny tried to ignore Sarah's worried looks and when she picked up her phone to call T, Jonny stopped her.

"I know your worried babe, so am I lets just give her some space. I never seen her as mad as she was when I saw her earlier, not even with the whole tat stunt they pulled." Jonny told his wife pulling her into his embrace.

They went to bed shortly after. Jonny had to be up early and Sarah had fought him on not being able to go with. She had some serious words for both of them, if she lost her little sister she would be ripping them a new asshole but since she couldn't do it she would just have to call Gemma and have her do it.

Jonny and Koz were quiet, not that riding on a bike down a highway at 90 left a lot of room for talking, but still Koz knew that Jonny was pissed and her knew better then to try and have a conversation. Pulling into Teller-Morrow Auto, Koz climbed off and greeted all of this brothers with a brotherly hug, except for Tig. Jonny did the same thing, but when he got to Clay he pulled him aside.

"Sorry about this, but I need to chat with Hap." Jonny told him. Clay nodded and called out to Happy the four of them then headed into the clubhouse chapel.

Clay looked at Jonny then Happy before speaking

"So whats up brother? You were pretty closed mouthed on the phone."

Jonny glared at Hap

"T called me and told me that she needed to come home or she was going to go off half cocked. She didn't explain why over the phone so I had to wait until she got back to Tacoma. I have never seen her as mad as she was. Not even when this two dumb asses pulled that tat stunt which almost got us all killed. She stormed into my office and told me that Hap threatened her. T is already at her ends rope with dumb and dumber and I feel like all this shit is my fault. I let this shit go on for way to fucking long. She might be my cousin but she's like my little sister and I let her down." Jonny spoke and all the men in the room could hear the disgust in his voice.

Hap pounded his fist on the table which brought all of the men out of their thoughts. Clay was confused about this whole thing. What the hell was so good about this one girl? He could understand why Jonny was upset, a brother threatened his blood. Koz and Hap though were acting like the world would die without this girl. Shit pussy is pussy and from what he had heard, neither one of them had hit that yet.

"Hell yeah I did, shes fucking some random dude, you think that's fucking smart? You think that's fucking right? She fucking covered the damn crow, that shit is basically illegal in our club and we all just let her get away with it"

Clay shook his head, guess that answers that question they are both in love with her. Looks like they would even be willing to share if it meant that they got her, too bad they got a fucked up ass way of showing it. Clay caught hell from Gemma about that tat stunt.

"Sure it would be illegal if she and her man were in agreement to do it, but you forced that shit on her, and then almost got shot because of it. We don't fucking do shit like that in this club Hap." Clay told the killer.

Jonny shook his head

"Look Clay, I know my cousin, better then a lot of fucking people, and this shit its fucking with her, which is hard to do since she learned to kill most of her emotions when she became the Little Killer of Tacoma. I can say that I don't want them around her but I know that wont stop them. I am saying this though. You guys need to ease the fuck up and pull your heads out of your asses. She's not a fucking object to be owned, she's a fucking person and a bad ass person which you helped create. No more fucking threats Hap because that shit is illegal in this club. You don't threaten family and that girl is my family, she's not your old lady, or Koz's. She is my responsibility and if she wants to date normal guys or if she wants to date a different brother then that is her choice. Not yours. You two got me?" Jonny said shooting looks at both Hap and Koz. "I know she wants to help you guys, so I can give you her number and you guys can try to work shit out over the phone, but after that shit Hap pulled, she wont come down here unless I drag her, and it will not be pretty and I am almost positive that someone, more likely me or who ever, will end up with a bullet in their ass. So follow what she says, she knows this shit and she knows what that bitch is doing. I know your guys, you have no rats in your club so if or because T is so sure when she tries to make someone look like a rat, just watch yourself, and don't jump off the deep end. Well now that that's over, lets have some drinks and make this a social call?"

Clay nodded and got up. Hap stayed seated as did Koz, when his phone rang he answered.

T waited to call until the next afternoon, she figured that they would have already made it to Charming and had the meeting with Clay and Hap, so she was surprised when it went straight to voicemail. She tried an hour later and when it still went to voicemail, she had no choice but to call Koz. Koz was his usual self when he answered.

"Hey babe" Hap couldn't hear what she was saying but he knew it was T on the other line

"Tell Jonny to check his voicemail, I'm out of this bitch" T told Koz

"Wait you did what?" Hap was getting frustrated, because he could only hear one side of the convo

"Where are you babe?"

"Im getting as far away as I can from you and Hap." She said with a big sigh.

"Just come home"

"Fuck you hell no. You're part of the reason I'm leaving in the first place asshole."

"I don't give a fuck T, if I have to hunt you down your going to get an ass whooping."

T had heard enough and hung up on his ass then. What the hell was with them and threats. They know that threatening a killer is like signing your death warrant, they taught her that.

Koz stared at the phone after he said that, then called again before glaring at Hap and leaving the room. Hap called T and his call went ignored. He followed Koz who was at the bar with a very pissed off looking Jonny. He looked to Clay.

"Need to borrow your killer for a couple days, if its cool. Family shit"

Clay nodded and Hap went and got a bag, the other two were waiting for him.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked

"T fucking bounced, and after having juice look into it she destroyed all the tracking devices we kept in her car ditched her phone and only kept the prepaid. She broke up with the tattoo guy, and emptied her bank accounts, all of them. Hope your fucking happy, you got your wish asshole." Jonny yelled at him before pulling out of the lot.

Koz sped off, no one had a clue as to where T would go but after they were an hour outside of Charming Jonny pulled over

"Going to call Leroy and see if we cant set up a meeting with Lonnie, if anyone knows where she's at either her or Marcy will." Jonny told the guys as he went and paid for gas and to make the phone call.

Hap and Koz both paced and called her back to back, while Jonny was on the phone with Leroy. T ignored all of their calls. Jonny told the guys the meeting with Leroy and Lonnie was set up. They got on their bikes and sped off to one of the 9ner clubs. When they pulled up and walked in, a girl showed them to the table Lonnie and Leroy were sitting at. Lonnie was glaring at the men. Jonny sat down on the outside leaving Hap on the inside and Koz standing up.

"Jonny" Leroy said, looking at Jonny and then his little sister.

"Leroy, Lonnie" Jonny said

"I know why you're here, and maybe just maybe if it was just you I would of told you where she's going, but its not and I wont. I know that your worried about her Jonny but T needs this Jonny she's too fucking close to losing it and I wont let them kill the little bit of her that's left. If you guys actually treated her right, she would of choose or went along with whatever you wanted, but you started treating her crappy, and I don't know if you can do anything to fix it. She was happy with a normal guy, for once she felt like more then what you made her into, and she was smiling more then she has since a year after we got out of Juive." Lonnie said glaring at Koz and Hap.

Lonnie stood up,

"look I'm sorry, but my loyalty lies with her and her alone, I wouldn't bother with Marcy, she would tell you even less then I did. I talked to her, and made my promises she told me that Jonny should call her after he talked to me, she should be far enough away to answer your calls, and if she doesn't, she will call you when she gets where she's going. She needed to get away before she really looses it. She needs this time and you guys need to let her go."

Lonnie walked away, Leroy however had something to add,

"I know that she came to me, and to Marcus, she has free pass all the way to the east coast right now. I know I would be pissed if it was Lonnie doing this, but T can handle herself way better. Try your clubs further out and see if they catch sight of her. That's all I am going to tell you, and pretty much all I know. But Jonny you need to get your shit right, because if I could, I would make her a 9ner, shes tougher then most of the guys I have on my crew. If I find anything out, I'll let you know, got to take care of our girls. Even though we cant ever agree on anything else, we can agree on that."

Leroy left them all after that.

"T will be a 9ner over my dead body" Hap said

Jonny and Koz both shook their heads. They walked out and found one of Leroy's guys standing next to their bikes holding three letters.

"Lonnie asked that I give these to you." He said as Jonny approached and handed them to him. The guy walked back into the bar after delivering the letters to Jonny. He looked at them. There was one for Sarah, one of him, and the last one was for Koz. Jonny opened his letter. There were two pages.

_Jonny, _

_I know your pissed and I am sorry, but I cant do this shit no more. I got free passage from here all the way to the east coast which I am sure Leroy told you. No I will not join the 9ners, tell Hap to quit flipping out. Yes you can go ahead and give Koz his letter. The second page of this is for Hap, but he needs to wait until I call you or answer your calls to get it. I'm sorry that I am putting you in a shitty position, but this shit is gone way too far and I can no longer ask you to choose between your families. Death before Dishonor, and I never wished to dishonor you. I know that me leaving like this is bad, but its better then me going off half cocked and killer two of your brothers. I would appreciate it if you could keep a eye on Hap and make sure that he doesn't go after Jake, none of this is his fault and he doesn't belong in this mess, he doesn't belong in our world, I feel shitty that I even got close to him, but for once in my life I wanted something that was mine, I wanted something innocent again. I promise that I am being safe and I will talk to you soon. Hopefully I will be able to come home and be happy there again. No I wont go looking for trouble. I removed all the tracking devices, I cant believe you put them there I am not fucking stupid, you didn't raise no dummy! I love you my brother, my cousin, enjoy having your life back minus all the drama. Talk to you soon. _

_T_

_P.S. don't forget to give Sarah her letter she will be pissed if you open it and read it before she does, and I hope that you respect my wishes in not doing that. _

Jonny sighed and put his letter back in the envelope and tucked his and Sarah's letters into his jacket then handed Kozik his. Koz just stared at the letter, it was T's writing on the cover. Hap paced back and forth looking pissed, but both men ignored him. Koz sat on his bike, deciding if he wanted to read it now or wait. After five minutes, he decided to wait until they got back to Tacoma or Charming to read it in private.

"What did she say?" Hap growled out. Jonny shot Koz a look, who just shrugged and tucked the letter in his jacket.

"She's heading for the east coast, she left you a letter Hap, but we need to head back to Tacoma and wait for her to call or answer and then you can have it. Lets roll out boys."

Jonny mounted his bike and pulled out of the lot, not even bothering to check and see if they were following. Once they hit Tacoma Jonny was headed straight home to break the news and give Sarah her letter and hope that his wife didn't drive down to the clubhouse and rip both Hap and Koz new assholes for making her loose her little sister for awhile. He decided he would call T at home as well, that way he wouldn't have to worry about Hap and Koz trying to attack him to get the phone.


	6. Sarah's tears, Zeke's fears

When they reached Tacoma, Jonny headed home, and Koz and Hap headed for the clubhouse. Koz grabbed a beer and drank it, while telling the guys they had no luck in finding T, then took a bottle and headed off to his room. Koz took a couple big swigs before opening the letter

_Kozik, _

_I know that even though you're hurt and pissed off, that you understand why I needed to leave. When I was locked up, I used to dream that I would get a crow. That I would settle down and be an old lady. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted that, to belong to someone. To be a part of the club in some way. I guess I got my wish just not how I wanted it. Do you remember when you taught me how to shoot when I got out, before all the little killer training? I do and those are my favorite memories of you, of me, of us. I remember how your arms felt around me as you showed me how to shoot that shot gun. OF how you stood behind me to catch me when it kicked back. I remember lying in your bed when you didn't want a crow eater only me. I miss those days. Before I became the little killer, trained by the Tacoma SAA and Tacoma killer. I would give almost anything to have those days back. I miss riding on the back of your bike with my arms wrapped around you so tight and my face buried in your cut. Becoming who I am or what I am was never in my plans or dreams. I only wanted it to be closer to you, to feel like I could ever be worthy of you. But even once I become that, even once I could do my job better then you or Hap, I didn't get what I wanted. _

_Have you ever wanted something so bad that you lost who you were? I did, and I hate myself for it. I miss the old days. I hate that I am a wanted person, not for who I am, but for what I can do. I remember before I went to Juvie, before I became part of the trinity. I miss being Tay, but I know that I can never go back to that. I lost that girl, that woman, that part of me. I will tell you like I told Hap. This life we live it isn't safe for normal people, but that doesn't mean we want them any less, sometimes I need something to remind me that I am more than just the little killer you guys created. I hate who I am sometimes and a lot of the time I hate you two for it too. I used to love you guys so much, but when I got out of juive everything changed, not just me, but the way you guys treated me, after I became better then both of you, it became a war of who deserved me most, and if you want the honest truth we all deserve each other, because of what we are. We don't deserve to have families, because they get in the way and get used as leverage. We're all fucked up in the head. And it's so true; we are all so far gone in the head that we lost sight of who we are as people, real people. _

_I know that I don't deserve a normal person that I will never be able to be happy with someone normal but I hoped that he would help me find who I used to be. I realize now that this is who I am. I embraced this life. No one made me become who I am. I did that on my own. I will live with that for the rest of my life. But if things would have been different I want you to know that I would have chosen you. I have wanted you since the first time that I laid eyes on you and I'm not really sure that has changed that much, except for the way you treat me. Anyways Koz, I hope that you figure your shit out, and that nothing falls apart while I'm gone. I'll call you soon _

_T_

Koz slammed his shot. He had kind of forgotten about those memories, not that he forgot the feelings behind them. He forgot how she looked, the smile on her face when he taught her to shoot. When instead of crow eaters he would grab her and drag her into bed with him. Not for sex, but for comfort, something that Koz never really found, until T. Koz hated that he made her who she was, that she hates herself sometimes, and that she feels like she can't ever have a normal life. The truth in that though is T was never really a normal life person. She said it herself, she wanted a crow, and she wanted to belong to the club. No wonder it took her so long to cover the crow outline up. She had almost gotten her dream, but not in the way she wanted. It must have killed her when she covered it up. Koz slammed another shot before he heard the knock on his door. He got up and opened it, Jonny was standing there.

"So her letter didn't kill you huh?" Jonny asked

"No, it did, but it also made me realize that she doesn't really hate me even though she should. This whole disappearing act is about more than just us fighting over her, it's about her finding herself." Koz answered

Jonny shook his head yes, his little cousin had lost herself. She was in between embracing being the little killer and being the hard ass girl she was when she got out of Juvie. It would only be a matter of time before she wouldn't be able to balance the two. Regardless, she would always be the little killer; it would really come down too being like Hap or being like Koz.

Koz could still laugh and joke and feel a whole hell of a lot more than Hap. Koz still felt good emotions just as strong as bad. Hap could feel good emotions but he felt the bad more strongly. Jonny wanted his cousin to be more like Koz, and he hoped that if she ever chose anyone it would be Koz. They were both brought out of their thoughts by Jonny's phone ringing. Jonny looked at the caller ID, it was Clay. He answered and was almost brought to his knees by what he was hearing. Donna had been killed in a drive by, but Jonny didn't believe that. Jonny figured that the Charming President didn't take T's word on what was going on. Opie had the most to gain from becoming a rat, and when they figured that shit out, there would be hell to pay in Charming. Clay was too old school, and him and Tig; they were so fucked up that they would be the death of their club. The only hope for a normal life would be Jax, and Clay wouldn't step down until he could ride anymore. They all knew that. Jonny hung up with Clay after saying he would send some of his guys down to ride for Donna.

Jonny still hadn't called T; he figured it would be best to allow her to call him. Sarah had screamed and cried as she read the letter T left her. Sarah wouldn't let him read it, wouldn't even tell him what it said but she did take comfort from him. Allowed him to calm her down and hold her close. Jonny knew that Sarah thought of T as a mix between a best friend and a sister and losing T for an undetermined amount of time was hard for her.

"I hope that she heads down to Florida and finds love or comfort with one of the sons down there. She needs something that she can't seem to get here. I want her to be happy, to settle down and have kids like us. I remember when I had Junior, T went straight to him and held him close. She cried that day, it was the first time I had seen her cry. She promised him that she would always be there for him. Shit she even took Ana out later that day so I could take a nap with Junior. When they came home I overheard them talking. You know how much Ana looks up to T. She said auntie I want to be just like you when I grow up. The look on T's face was heartbreaking. Do you know what she told her? She said baby, you don't want to be like me. You need to be like your mom or Gemma or Katie. Pick almost any other woman that you have met in this club and be like them, not me. I will do everything in my power so that you don't end up like me. You're too good for that. You belong at the top of the chain and a man to worship you." Sarah told Jonny tears running down her eyes.

"Yeah, Ana asked me about that. She said why she couldn't be like her aunt. It took me a long time to come up with an explanation of her, one that she could understand. Until reading this letter I never really knew how much she hates herself. Now I can give Ana a better explanation, she still asks and swears she wants to be just like her aunt. Now I can tell her that her aunt has done things, bad things and that she wants better for her. That she wants Ana to fall in love and be loved back. She wants her to grow up and have a home and babies. I think T has given up hope on ever becoming an old lady and having a family of her own. She plans on living through us and she's only 22, that's not right Jonny. They ruined her, she was never a normal girl to begin with, but now she's only a shell of the person she used to be." Sarah told her husband, malice leaking from her voice.

Jonny just nodded, their conversation was cut when Junior came running into the room, to think that he was almost three now. Ana walked in, dressed like a mini version of T. Ana was only 11 but she already knew that she wanted to be like T, and Jonny knew that she didn't really want that at least she wouldn't when she realized what being like her entailed. Sarah was right and Jonny knew that he needed to call the Florida charter and have them look out for her. Besides the fact that he was worried, they needed her back to deal with the problems that were coming for the Charming charter and even though he knew she wouldn't want to, she would be back soon. He knew that if a war got started because Clay was an idiot T would come back and kill all of them.

Koz was staring at Jonny as he was replaying the last twenty four hours.

"Hey man you a'ight?" Koz asked Jonny, breaking him from his train of thought by tapping his shoulder.

Jonny nodded his head.

"Round up the guys, Opie's wife was killed last night and we have to get some of them to go down and ride for her." He told Koz.

Koz took a step back, he was in shock. An old lady had been killed? What if that would have been T? Koz would of freaked the hell out and killed a whole shit load of people if it would have been T and she wasn't even is old lady officially. Opie must have been broken, and he would be looking for revenge and fast. Koz nodded any ways and went to go wake the guys up.

Jonny took that moment to make a phone call. He found the number in his contact list and scrolled down. Finding it he hit talk and waited for the other line to pick up.

"Zeke" Jonny heard Zeke's cheerful, yet serious voice answer

"Hey Zeke, its Jonny in Tacoma."

"Hey brother, to what do I owe this call?"

"Well it's more like a who, and it's because I need a favor."

"Well I'm all ears brother; please tell me this is not a pregnant crow eater." Zeke groaned. Zeke knew that his brothers on the east coast had problems; after all he just got a call from Glen the nomad president, telling him about how one of the old ladies in Charming had just got shot down in a drive by.

Jonny laughed

"Man, Sarah would have my dick cut off if I ever did some shit like that. Naw, it's my cousin. You know T, the LK of Tacoma. Well after some pretty big drama came down she bounced and I have a feeling she's headed our way. I just wanted to know if your guys could keep an eye out for her. She should be there tomorrow, and I'm sure that's where she's headed." Jonny told the Florida President.

"Yeah I can have some guys keep a look out for her. I remember T; she's a pretty valuable asset to this club. Why did she run? She don't seem like the running type to me?" Zeke asked.

"It's a long as story and to tell it I would have to start from when she got out of juive going past the time you meet her all the way up to why she left. You sure you got time to hear it?" Jonny asked.

Zeke, knew a little bit about the one they call little killer, he knew she was trained by Koz and Hap, and he also knew that they were both in love with her. He had also heard about the little tat stunt they pulled. Glen had been there at the time and he got to see her in a serious pissed of mood, and Glen said even he wouldn't take her on. Said for someone so small, she was even crazier and heartless then him or any of the other killers out there. Too bad woman can't get patched in.

"How about you just go from the tat stunt?" Zeke suggested.

"Damn, you know about that?" Jonny asked, taking a seat in the office. He needed to have this conversation in private; he didn't want Hap and Koz finding out that he knew where she was headed or where he thought she was headed.

"Yeah, I saw Glen a couple weeks after it happened. You know it's hard to keep secrets from the original 9."

"Yeah well, I would look closer to home if you're worried about someone keeping secrets. Anyways well T has been pushing Koz and Hap even further away after that, telling them that she's not a fucking object and shit. I tried to get them to cool it down but they got it in their heads she's going to be one of their old ladies, shit I bet they would even share her. Charming gots an ATF problem, T went to school for that shit so we sent her down there. I guess that T had been hooking up with this guy who does tattoos and also did a cover up over the crow outline for her. Hap and Koz were fucking pissed she covered it up but it was forced so it's not like she's breaking any rules. Anyways guess when the ATF bitch pulled Hap in there she showed him pictures of T and the dude. Hap was pissed threatened T. Told her that if she wasn't going to be with him or Koz she wasn't going to be with anyone. T had enough and bounced. Didn't tell anyone but I know that she got free passage all the way down there from Leroy and Marcus." Jonny explained to Zeke.

"Wait, how the hell did she pull that off? Talking to Leroy and Marcus?" Zeke asked.

"Oh Glen didn't tell you that? I'm surprised you guys gossip kike old ladies! T went to juive with their little sisters. They all live together and everything so when it comes to them we do whatever we can to make sure they don't get hurt. We might not agree on anything else but we all agree to keep our little sisters safe. Of course there are certain rules and shit but yeah she just called up Marcy and Lonnie and asked them and they did the rest. All T had to do was set up a meeting and ask, for respect issues would be my guess because she wouldn't really have to if she didn't want to." Jonny told him

"Okay well I will have my guys keep an eye out for her. But what did she tell Charming when she meet with the ATF?" Zeke asked

Jonny explained everything that T told him, even though Jonny was pretty sure that Donna's death was due to Clay not listening he left that part out. Zeke put two and two together though, especially since he know knew about the whole thing with the Mayan's and the 9ners. He didn't think it was a 9ner drive by like Clay was saying. Before they hung up Jonny told Zeke

"You know once you find her if you could bring her in and explain what happened and tell her I need her back I would appreciate it. I know you're going to want to test her and shit. She'll do whatever you ask of her pretty much. Unless it's like strip or have sex with someone. She might shoot at you if you ask that." Jonny said with a laugh. Zeke did too.

"I got you bro; yeah I will probably set up a test. I'll send a couple of my guys back with her to help with this problem in Charming. Oh and Jonny, should I be worried about my guys?"

Jonny laughed.

"Come on Zeke, T had you wrapped around her finger the first time you meet her. I can tell you that I hope she does find happiness with one of your guys because she's not getting that from any of my boys up here."

"Yeah, I have a feeling that someone will fall for her. I just hope that she don't wreck him." Zeke said thinking of his vice president and his SAA. Both of them were single and T was their type, plus they could use a girl like her in their fold.

"Thanks again man." Jonny told Zeke before hanging up.

Jonny went to tell his guys about Donna, while on the other side of the world Zeke was calling his guys in to go and keep an eye out for T. He gave them a description of her car and her and told them that if they found her on the beach to make sure she had already been there for an hour or they might get shot.

Zeke's vice president looked to him

"Seriously? She might shoot someone if her beach time gets ruined why are we even worried about this girl anyways? She somebody's old lady? Or a mistress or something?" he asked.

Zeke shook his head.

"Worse, that's T the little killer of Tacoma. Trust me she might not look like much, but I know you have heard the stories of the little killer, that girl is just as twisted as the mother fuckers who trained her. The only way she could be even worse is if she spent too much time with Trager in Charming because that is one sick mother fucker." Zeke told him.

Zeke had to stop his laughter at the look on his guys' faces. Austin came in a handed out a bunch of pieces of paper with a picture of T on them.

"Jonny had his guy send me a picture of her and her car just so that we can be sure. He also said that if you catch her on the beach her tats will give her away. She has 6 happy faces on her right side and huge phoenix on the left." Austin said.

All of the guy's heads whipped to Zeke.

"You have got to be kidding, this girl looks way to nice to be a killer and if she is she obviously isn't as good as the person who she stole the happy faces from. Shit Hap's got like what 30 40 of them?" the SAA asked him.

Zeke just nodded

"I guess we will see what she's made of when we send her on club favor once we find her. Now get the hell out of here, remember she gets an hour of beach time. If you don't follow that and lose your nut that's on you!" Zeke yelled out and started laughing.

Zeke was still laughing when his old lady Ronnie came in. She walked over and sat on his lap

"What's so funny baby?" She asked before picking up the picture. It took her a minute to notice who it was.

"Oh my god, is that Tay? Or I guess T now. The little killer from Tacoma?" Ronnie asked looking closer at the picture. She and Zeke had met her when she was just learning, before she became the little killer completely. Even though she was just starting out Ronnie could tell that she would be a force to be reckoned with.

Zeke nodded kissing her neck.

"Yeah, and I have a feeling that once she's here and gone this club will never be the same. T has a way with the men of this club. All of them either love her like a daughter/sister/best friend, hate her, or want to bang her. Shit for some of them they want all three. Guess Hap and Koz wanted more than to just train her. Jonny said she would have given them anything they wanted until they went all asshole cave man on her ass; Hap threatened her so she left. Everyone knows that threatening a killer is like signing your own death warrant. Jonny said he never saw T so pissed not even when Koz and Hap got her drunk and forced the outline of a crow on her. That time she almost killed Koz Hap and Jonny." Zeke told his wife.

Ronnie's head shot up.

"Forced a crow on her? What the hell is wrong with those west coast boys?"

Zeke just shook his head holding Ronnie closer. Ronnie knew that there was more to this whole thing, she knew that Tay must of left without telling anyone exactly where she was going or the guys wouldn't be out looking for her.

"So who are you betting is going to be the one to fall for her?" Ronnie asked running all the guys threw her head. Right now she was sure that it would be Austin but she knew there would be more than just him.

"I'm going with D and Austin for sure and probably Jay. I'm pretty sure that Jonny is hoping that she will find someone down here to make her happy because shit isn't going to well for her on the west coast." Zeke said

Ronnie nodded.

"I bet you that D falls first and that she falls for him too. Killer to Killer, because if she was a man she would for sure be an SAA" Ronnie said giving Zeke a kiss before getting off his lap. Zeke smacked her ass as she walked away.

"Where you going now woman?" He called after her.

"Shit I got calls to make!" Ronnie yelled out to him.

Zeke shook his head and grumbled, "fucking woman" knowing that Ronnie was going to call Sarah and get the scoop on T.


	7. SSA of Florida

**AN: I have the next couple chapters for this story already written. So I will be adding them soon. For all of you who read my story the second son, I'm at a complete writers block and am seriously considering just writing an epilogue but that would be a crappy ending to a story I put a lot of time and effort in. So hang in there with me while I try to figure it out. Thank you to all of my readers and my reviewers you guys make my world so much better : ) **

T was lying on a beach in Florida, as far away as she could get from Tacoma, from Charming, from her past. Of course there was a SOA charter in Florida, but that didn't matter to her. T had meet Zeke once, and she liked him enough. She was a killer, trained by the best on the east coast and she was sure that the stories of some of the fucked up ass shit that she did had reached them down here. T wasn't surprised when she heard the bikes, and she wasn't surprised when a shadow fell across her. She looked up and of course as she suspected she found a guy with a leather cut standing over her. She eyed the man he was hot, one of the hottest guys she had ever seen. she eyed his patches, the SAA of the Florida charter. Go figure, she rolled her eyes, got to send the killer out to the other killer and maybe just maybe he could talk some sense in to her. Not fucking likely but of course they would try. She was an asset to the club, to all of them. T and the guy had a staring contest and when he realized that she wasn't going to talk he did.

"Zeke wants to see you" he told her.

"I don't know a Zeke, you sure you got the right person?" She asked with a sweet tone, hoping even though she knew that it was wasted that he would say he had the wrong person, but of course with the happy faces showing she knew that it was a wasted effort.

"I'm sure T, now how about you just come with me" He told her and a kind tone, but you could tell that he wasn't going to take any bull shit. She sighed and stood up, grabbed her things and headed towards her car.

"Guess I will just follow you then" She told him and got into her car. She started it up and pulled on her top, then her pants. She was waiting for him to put his helmet on and start the bike up.

She followed the guy on the bike, and as they were stopped at a light she turned on her cell phone. Of course as she expected there were a shitload of messages. She didn't listen to them though. She called her girls.

"Didn't take them long to find me." She told Lonnie after they said their usual greetings.

"Yeah, didn't figure it would. You pretty much told Sarah where you were going. I'm sure Jonny had it figured out before then though." Lonnie responded.

"Yeah, so whats going on there? You and Marcy said to call it was important." T asked, worry and curiosity laced in her voice.

"Some shit went down in Charming. Marcus and Leroy wanted us to call you and left you know that it wasn't them. They wouldn't lie to us and have us tell them, they are too afraid of losing us for that shit. I guess they are worried a war is going to pop off. Its been quiet you know, since they have us to keep some kind of simple peace." Lonnie said. T could picture her rolling her eyes, they way they all did. They wouldn't make amends but they had no problem using the girls to keep the peace.

"Men and their pride" T said with a loud sigh.

"Agreed" She heard Lonnie and Marcy say at the same time.

"Well I better call Jonny and figure out what the fuck is going on. It would be nice to spend a couple more days on the beach but I have a feeling my vacation is coming to a close. Love you guys and I will call and let you know when I'm coming back. Best guess is four days at the most. I'm headed for the Florida clubhouse right now. I'm sure they are going to have a test for me. After all I haven't seen Zeke since I became the little killer officially." T told her friends.

"Love you too, and be careful chicka." Marcy said. Lonnie replied with and I love you too before hanging up.

T hung up and dialed Jonny. Jonny answered on the first ring.

"So how did you find me?" She asked her cousin. Jonny laughed,

"Some guys spotted your car when you came into the Florida, I figured that was where you were headed considering it's the only clubhouse on the east coast I thought you would be interested in going near." Jonny lied, not wanting to rat Sarah out and not wanting T to know that he had her figured out.

T rolled her eyes before speaking. "Well they found me at the beach and I am now parked out front of their clubhouse. Something important going on or is this just an audience?" She asked, even though she had a feeling that it was the former she hoped for the latter.

"A little of both, Zeke will fill you in. Love you, and call me soon, oh and I am supposed to ask you when can Hap have his letter, he needs to go back to Charming but he wont leave until he gets it."

"You can give it to him. Love you" T hung up and got out of the car.

She wasn't surprised that even fresh from the beach she had all of the guys attention on her. T had became used to that a long time ago. She followed the SAA into the clubhouse, ignoring all the guys and their comments. The Florida clubhouse was of course just like the rest of them all of them were like the Charming one, considering charming was where it all started. She wasn't surprised that she got asked into the chapel, or that the President and Vice were all already sitting as the SAA took his seat. T didn't take a seat, she stood and asked

"You smoke in here?" When Zeke nodded and pushed an ashtray to her end of the table she pulled her smokes out of her purse and lit one up. She waited, as all three of the men evaluated her. She was used to it, everyone did it. She stood standing, the bottom of her shirt only reached midway so she knew that the bottom of her phoenix as well as four of the six happy faces were on display.

"So you're the little killer from Tacoma, trained by two of the best on the east coast huh?" the vice president asked her. Even though she wanted to roll her eyes, she knew better then to disrespect a vice president. She flipped her sunglasses up, and said

"Yes sir. Hey Zeke, long time no see how have you and Ronnie been?" All of the guys were taken aback by the amount of respect she showed, and the fact that she was beautiful, her brown eyes were probably the most beautiful they had even seen. The SAA who found her, was confused on how a girl her size could be so feared. He had meet Happy before when he was nomad and he had a lot more of those happy faces then she did.

"were good babe. Ronnie will be by soon. She cant wait to see you." Zeke replied with a smile. T nodded

"Your pretty tiny and you only have what five six happy faces, you would think that since you adopted that tat from Hap and are deemed the little killer you would have more then that." The SAA commented.

She eyed the SAA, and thought her response before speaking.

"yeah, I only have six happy faces, I decided I wanted one for every five fills instead of one. 30 happy faces is a lot for my tiny body." She lit another cigarette and waited for them to say whatever else it is they wanted before they got on to why she was really here. The shock on their faces made her want to laugh. People always underestimated her, which is why it is so easy for her to be the little killer.

"Well Jonny called and wanted us to keep an eye out, see if you came our way. Said some shit went down in Tacoma and you left. Said that the drama was too much for all of you, care to explain?" Zeke asked her.

She nodded

"I am the little killer, trained by Hap and Koz, but once I got better at their job then either of them, they decided that I needed to become an old lady. Got me drunk and forced a crow outline on me. After a year of them fighting over me and treating me like a object I got it covered, Hap threatened me, I left. Now here I am. Oh and that was after I went down to investigate on the little ATF problem in Charming." She told them. Locking eyes with Zeke, begging him with her eyes to not her explain it better. She knew that between Jonny and Glen he knew the whole story but she wasn't fond of air her dirty laundry, so to speak.

Zeke gave her a slight nod, all the while wanting to go and ring those mother fuckers necks for making her look how she did. Zeke could see the pain, it was hard to see since she had perfected her killer mask, but it was there. Zeke looked at her like another daughter. All he had was girls and T was the closest thing he would have to a son, and she wasn't even really related to him. That made his heart ache and he knew that if it hurt him like it did, then it must be killing Jonny. No one loved her more than Jonny did.

They all nodded, Zeke had told the guys most of what Jonny said, what happened in more detail then that, but Zeke just wanted his guys to see that she would tell them the truth. She did of course. Jonny said she cares more about the club then herself, which was why she decided to leave. She seemed like it to the VP and the SAA, Zeke knew she did. He asked her when he meet her why she was doing what she was, and she told him 'family, I want to do whats best for my family. I will do whatever is in my power to make sure that nothing ever hurts them. Even if that means becoming something that I might regret later, that's what I will do'. Zeke knew even then that a time would come when she lost it, but he hoped that she would find someone to keep her balanced, he had hopes that those responsible would step up and treat her like the princess she was, but they didn't and for some reason that didn't surprise him. Zeke then began hoping she would find love in Florida not because of the club, but because someone like her deserved that, she deserved to be treated like a queen and the south in him and his boys would ensure that. They didn't hit woman, they didn't kill them and they sure as hell didn't make them feel like a god damn piece of property.

"Well that's part of the reason we called you in here. Talked to Clay and Jonny, as wrong as it is, I think I am going to have to go with your cousin on this one and say that Charming fucked up. Jonny said you went down, and since you went to school you know what your talking about, and gave the Charming guys some advice about their problem. Guess they didn't listen. Three days ago, one of their old lady's got killed in a drive by. Jonny said that you told them that after the ATF went after the woman she would use a member of the club, looks like she did that and Charming fell for it. The kill was meant for the brother, his woman just happened to be in the car. Charming says it was a drive by and retaliation has been planned but after what your cousin said makes sense that it was the Clay that ordered it and Tig that followed through." Zeke told her.

T just nodded, she figured that would happen. No one ever fucking listens to her, but guess that's on them.

"Jonny wants you to come back in the next couple of days, said they are going to need some major damage control up there. Plan on sending a couple of my guys with you too, just in case." Zeke added.

"That's really nice of you, but I got free passage back that way, might not be too safe for your guys or me, if that happens unless of course we fly."

All three men looked at her. There were mayans and 9ners had support clubs all the way down, they never made the trip really for that reason, and this girl came down here and has no problem going back all by herself. No way she's that good, well Zeke knew about the deal with the sisters but he didn't think about the problem it would be for his boys.

"Its mayan territory all the way down here and you're affiliated member with the club, I don't even know how you got down here in one piece." The VP told T.

"Went to Juive with the 9ner and Mayan princesses, on the east coast were known as the trinity. Got free passage as long as I ride by myself, well I got free passage pretty much anytime just like they do, but if you send guys back with me, they will shoot at you. I cant help with that. Us girls are the only ones who don't get shot at by any of the three clubs, everyone else is fair game." T answered his question.

This girl was full of surprises. Not only was she a girl, she was a killer, not an old lady she was dangerous. The guys eyed her appreciatively though because even though they knew she didn't want to go back, she would.

"Pretty dedicated for someone who's not an actually club member, more dedicated then most old ladies I know. I wondered if you would stay that way." Zeke said to T.

T shrugged, she was and more then anything she wished she was just an extremely dedicated old lady, but she wasn't and probably never would be. Instead of saying that though she said

"If business is all done can I head to your bar I am in serious need of a drink since my beach time got ruined. Plus I would like to see Ronnie." She shot a look at the SAA.

He smiled at her sure she was scary but he would bet money that she was fierce in bed, and well who better to bed then another killer. Besides she didn't belong to anyone, she was fair game. he had been intrigued since he heard about her, before even today. Eyeing her, she was defiantly his type, tall with curves, attitude but not to the point of being disrespectful and she was beautiful. She was smart and knew the club life, he didn't think it could get better than that. Plus she would understand where no one else did. No one ever got what it took to be the muscle behind the club, with all the death you deal most of the normal members couldn't relate. The SAA leaned across the table.

"Sorry for not introducing myself earlier, I'm David but everyone calls me D."

T nodded, but in her head she was screaming. She had always had a thing for David's, and this one was almost perfect, handsome and rugged, and a killer just like her. Now she really needed a drink. The three Florida member's shared a look and the VP spoke up

"I'm Jay, and were done here so go ahead and head towards the bar." T nodded and left the room. Jay and Zeke looked at D. Both of them were thinking the same thing.

"Good luck with that, but no drama, and if you can try and keep on her good side. Maybe your what she needs, I know Jonny is hoping that she might find an interest in one of my guys and maybe she will come back down when she's done dealing with that east coast drama. For now just keep her happy and the day she leaves you guys will fly out with her." Zeke told D. He nodded and stood up, as he headed out the door Zeke spoke again

"See if she's willing to help the club, I have a job I need for you to do and she might be your perfect partner." D nodded again and headed out the door.

Jay looked to Zeke,

"I really hope those two hit it off, we could use her, he could use her and honestly she could probably use him." Jay told him

Zeke nodded

"Your not interested in her?" He asked

"Of course, she's hot and knows the club life. If shit doesn't work out with D I will take a shot. I want to see how he does first. She isn't like normal girls and that is scary, besides for now we got bigger things to worry about. I don't plan on becoming like those east coast mother fuckers and D has been interested ever since he heard about her the first time Glen came down here talking about her." Jay replied

Zeke laughed, he knew that she scared the shit out of Jay. Shit she scared the shit out of him and Glen and they had seen a lot of shit. Glen said she was one of the best he had ever seen and was seriously considering trying to get her a patch. Zeke told him that was shitty idea. If it wasn't bad enough that she already felt out of place, putting a patch on her would make that worse. Glen of course didn't understand at the time but the next time he had come down he told Zeke 'your right' and they left it at that.

As D walked towards T, her phone rang and she answered it. D took the seat next to her, he missed the first part of the conversation and only heard

"Let me try and find a pen and paper or something to write the number down on. You should of told them the rules Jonny. I mean I know Clay knows them but I already got messages from my girls and if this turns into a war between any of the clubs I got to go, you know this."

D handed his cell over to T who shot him a small smile and mouthed 'thanks'. After she put the number down she told the person she would call them back and hung up. Before she called the number she looked at the prospect.

"Two more please Mike and another beer." Mike nodded at her and poured the shots, then looked to D who nodded and said

"Two of what she's having prospect" Mike laughed at him

"Uh D you don't drink walker. You want your Vodka instead?" D made a face at the mention of walker and nodded to the prospect. He turned to T,

"You drink that nasty shit?" He asked her. T laughed and pointed to his shot glasses

"And you drink that nasty shit?" D shot T a look, T just looked back at him. It was weird to see a killer face on a woman. It didn't look as out of place as D thought it would. She looked every bit the killer he knew she was but it didn't take away from her beauty, which still blew him away.

"What's wrong with Vodka?" He asked finally after feeling like he had been staring for too long.

He didn't take his eyes off her and it reminded her of the stare off they had at the beach, only this time it seemed so much more intimate, which scared her. Jake looked at her like that, except sometimes she could see the fear in his eyes, especially if the killer face came out. That scared him, but she didn't think it would scare D, after all he was a killer too.

"It tastes nasty, it gives me a nasty hang over and it reminds me of before I went to juive." T answered back "Whats wrong with walker?" She asked him.

"It tastes nasty, it gives me a nasty hangover and I always end up doing stupid shit when I drink it." He replied using most of T's answer as his own

Zeke and Jay walked out of the chapel; Zeke wasn't surprised to see T at the bar, with D sitting next to her. He wasn't surprised that she was on the phone either. He knew that T had shit that needed to be figured out and that she had to put a damper on Clay's plans before some serious drama got started. He was surprised however; that Ronnie was no where to be seen. He flipped his phone open and dialed her number.

"Hey baby, did you find her?" were the first words out of Ronnie's mouth.

Zeke laughed "Yeah almost an hour ago, I'm surprised you aren't already here. I was expecting to see you waiting on the couch waiting for her to come out of the chapel."

"Well I will be on my way soon. Does she look okay?" Ronnie asked him.

It took Zeke a minute to answer he knew that Ronnie loved the girl and had even went to see her a couple times and they talked a lot. Well every time she called Sarah, which for two people who lived on other sides of the country was a lot. Ronnie was like Sarah's aunt though, Ronnie and Sarah's mom had been best friends and Ronnie kept an eye out for Sarah when her parents died in a car crash. That was after all how Sarah and Jonny met. Zeke and Ronnie had to go to Charming and Ronnie brought Sarah along. After her and Jonny met it was a done deal, and Zeke was sad to see her go but knew that Jonny would keep her safe. The love they had was as strong as his and Ronnie's, and while Ronnie looked at Sarah as a daughter and because Sarah and T were so close he knew Ronnie thought of T as a daughter as well.

"Hard to tell" Zeke sighed. "Those killer masks are hard to read."

"Yeah I know its been too long since I have seen her. I'll be there within an hour. I'm at the grocery store." She replied. Zeke could hear the sadness in his wife's voice but decided not to say anything. They said their 'I love you' and hung up. By the time Zeke was off the phone T was off hers. He yelled out.

"Ronnie will be here an about an hour, clean this place up. And T don't run off without seeing her."

T turned around and shot him a smile before finishing up her conversation and was on her phone again.

"How do you know her so well, you never talk about her. Ronnie does sometimes but she never says much just that her family bond ran deeper then the club." Jay asked

You remember Sarah right?" Zeke asked. he nodded confused at first but then the points started to click in place.

"We look at Sarah like another daughter, and well Jonny married Sarah and they live in Tacoma. T is Jonny's little cousin though she is more like a sister to him and she is for sure a little sister to Sarah, that makes her family bond run deeper then the club." Zeke finished.

Jay just nodded remembering how sad Sarah was until she met Jonny. He knew that it hurt Zeke and Ronnie to let her go but she was happy, really happy. Something that had been rare since her parents had died. It had been years since the last time he saw her, but he knew she had a family of her own now. A daughter that she had gotten pregnant with right away and he knew that they had a son now. Sarah was only 18 when she met Jonny and left. Sarah was beautiful, but not really Jay's type, if he even had one. He wasn't sure but he didn't think that he would ever find an old lady, but he was okay with that. For now at least and if shit didn't work out with T and D he would make a go for it because she was as good as it got.

T shot D a look before dialing the number she had put on his phone on her own.

"Its T" she said. D could tell she was waiting for the person to finish talking, she motioned for two more shots. She slammed them before taking a swig of her beer and standing up. She had her smokes in her hand was headed for the door. All D heard was

"You know the rules, if you do something stupid I cant help you." As she reached the door and pulled it open she held the phone away from her ear, you could that who ever it was, was yelling by the look of murder she got in her eye.

Zeke, D and Jay all watched her walk out the door. Zeke and Jay went to follow her, when D went to stand Zeke waved him back down. Mike poured him two more shots, leaving T's glasses where they were. He wasn't sure if she would want more but she scared the shit out of him so he didn't want to move them just in case. Mike thought she was nice and she had been, but he had heard the stories about her and he wanted to stay on her good side even if it was just serving her shots and keeping a place for her at the bar.

Zeke and Jay followed her outside, keeping quiet. Not trying to spy but they did want to more about what they were walking into. Zeke knew she was talking to Clay because of the look on her face as she walked out the door.

Outside away, at least she hoped from listening ears she said

"Look Clay, you know the rules, we all know the rules you agreed to them. My loyalty lies with my girls and you know this. If you make this a Mayan or a 9ner retaliation then I cant fucking help you, I will be on the next flight out to a safe location with my girls you know this. I know that the Mayan and the 9ners had nothing to do with it. I will get on the computer as soon as I get off the phone with you and find a damn LOAN you can use. I got a plan. I'll be back in like three days. I'm even flying because I don't got the time to drive and I have to make sure that the Florida charter don't need nothing from me. I fucking told you and didn't fucking listen."

T waited while Clay sighed and processed thoughts. When T thought he had enough time she said

"I'm going to go look now, I think I already got an idea, so just hold on and I will fix this shit. I will call you or email the info to Juice when I got a person." T hung up then and turned around to find Zeke and jay looking at her.

"So whats with the rules?" Zeke asked. T sighed and flicked her cig across the parking lot.

"I don't mean to be a bitch but can you call Jonny and ask him. I really need to use your tech guys computer and figure some shit out. I can even pull my files for you guys to look at if you want."

They both nodded and she headed inside. Zeke called Jonny and Jay followed the T.

Zeke listened as Jonny explained the rules. He was surprised that they went through such lengths for the three girls but he knew that if they didn't set some shit up it would never have worked for as long as it had been, at least not with all of them still seeing and being on good terms with their brothers. Zeke was just hanging up with Jonny when Ronnie pulled in. As she approached him, he pulled her close and kissed her.

"So far it looks like D is wining, not sure if he is wining with her but Jay backed down because he said that D has been interested in her since he first heard about her." Zeke told Ronnie holding her closer. He knew that T's mom had died a long time ago, and her dad was a lawyer or something. By the time T was seventeen he was sending her to live with Jonny because he couldn't handle her anymore and he figured that T could use a female in her life. Zeke was worried about her and Sarah but mostly he was worried about how Ronnie would handle it. She felt awful about everything that T had been going through but she knew, they all knew that T wouldn't just accept help. Nope, T had to want it and ask for it. To them though T leaving Tacoma and coming there was the closest she would come to asking for help.

"Yeah well D will get under her skin in no time, and I'm sure if it doesn't work out Jay will have no problem stepping up." Ronnie said giving him a cheeky smile before grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the clubhouse door.

Jay called out to Austin their tech guy and he brought his computer over. After introducing them T got on it and looked through it.

"The security on this thing sucks, how the hell have you not went to jail for looking at official records?" She asked looking at the tech guy, Jay was the one who answered though.

"Got the pigs on payroll." T nodded and kept working on the computer. After about 5 minutes she said.

"There its set up more secure your lucky that ATF hasn't really looked into you guys yet." All three of the men sitting by her heads shot up. She pulled some stuff up and made a copy then sent it in an email to someone. After that she pulled some more stuff up. Looking closer the guys saw it was all the information about her. She looked to the Austin again.

"You got a printer hooked up to this?" When he nodded T printed up the papers. It was a shit load of papers. After that she pulled up some more stuff and printed it again. After doing that she did it two more times and she separated all the papers. Once she had four separate piles she pulled four folders from her bag and marked them all. Once Zeke came back in from talking to Jonny, T explained what the folders were.

"Okay so these are the files that you guys need, they are full of everything that ATF has on pretty much all known members of the club. This" she pointed to the biggest file, "is the Charming file." She lined the other three up in size order and pointed to them as she explained them. She pointed to the next file "This is the ATF information on Tacoma" she pointed to the third folder "The information on me, you will also find info on me in the Tacoma and Charming folders. And this last folder is all on you guys."

Everyone in the room stared at her. Her file was bigger then theirs and she was only one person. At least 7 of their 10 main members had been to jail. D looked at T

"I guess the ATF aint done digging on the Florida Sons huh?" T nodded her head. Austin was staring at her with a look of awe.

"I printed his crap up because if any of you guys are flying out with me in a couple days you need to know whats going on and because I'm not new to this I am sure that you" she said looking at Zeke "want me to prove myself so yeah you guys read up on this crap. I am going to go back to my hotel room. Here's my cell phone number call me when you need me."

After she was done talking she really looked up and noticed Ronnie. She got a huge smile on her face and walked towards her. Upon reaching her the two woman hugged, and started talking. Zeke took T's vacated spot and started flipping through the Tacoma file. There were pictures of Sarah and the kids with T, pictures of all the Tacoma guys, and pictures of Jonny, Sarah, T and the kids. He didn't bother looking at the paper work then. He flipped open T's file, causing Jay and D who were on either side on him to lean closer. There with a ton of pictures of T, with a bunch of random people. Zeke stopped at a picture of what looked like T and Koz fighting, he flipped it over and it was a picture of T and some random guy. The last picture he stopped to really examine was a picture of her with two girls, who he figured to be the other princesses. Zeke looked up as T and Ronnie wrapped up their conversation, she walked towards him and went to reach over him for her bag. She caught sight of the picture they were all staring at.

"Yeah, that's who you think it is, Marcy and Lonnie. This is outside our house, right before we found out we were being followed and called to complain. We have no records except for the juive file, and my dad is friends with that stupid ATF bitches boss. I called and complained and they lost the tail on us at least, because they were not even supposed to be following us. I'm going to get out of here now though okay? Call me if you need me?" She told him.

T grabbed her bag and walked out of the clubhouse. As soon as she pulled up to the hotel her phone was ringing.

"If they needed me now why did they let me leave" she grumbled but answered anyways. She was surprised at the voice she heard.

"Hey T" he breathed

"Hap" she said sounding surprised.

Hap didn't read the letter T left him in Tacoma. He waited and drove all the way back to Charming the letter burning a hole in his pocket. He knew that whatever was in it wouldn't be good. It wouldn't be what he wanted to hear, but he knew now that he brought it on himself. When he got back to Charming he grabbed a bottle of Walker, T's favorite and locked himself in his room. He took a huge swig out of the bottle before pulling the letter out of his pocket. Hap stared at it, and took another swig. Once he felt the buzz of the alcohol kick in he unfolded the letter and began to read it.

_Hap_

_Threats are no good to killers like us, we both know this. I'm gone now, and in some ways I hope I never come back. Be happy find someone who you truly love, or at least learn the meaning because what you have for me isn't love, its obsession. Have a good life. _

_T _

"what was with that letter? How dare you tell me how I feel?" Hap demanded. T sighed loudly.

"I am not going to fight with you Hap. If you really want to talk about it we will when I come back, in three days." T was resigned to the fact that Hap wouldn't let her go, to the fact that he truly was just obsessed with her. Not in love.

"Fine" Hap grunted. T hung up then, not saying anything else and not letting him say anything else. Her phone rang again and she answered without looking at the ID again.

"Hap quit calling me. I don't want to talk anymore!" She said in her calm killer voice. She wasn't expecting the chuckle she heard. It was unfamiliar followed by

"is that anyway to treat your favorite SAA?" the guy asked. T looked at the caller ID then, it was a Florida number.

"I don't have a favorite SAA, in fact I don't like any of the ones I have meet, ever. So what can I do for you D?" She asked keeping her voice cool, even though D made her feel things she hadn't felt in a long time. Things she didn't even think she was capable of feeling.

"Need you at the clubhouse. Think you can manage?" He asked, still in a teasing tone.

"Give me 20 minutes?" She asked him, she knew that asking for longer than that was a waste because she was sure that they knew she was only five minutes away from the clubhouse.

"Alright, see you then." He said and hung up.

T shook her head, did it really have to be so hard to act normal, I mean it was easy around her girls, and around the club she didn't need to because she was constantly having to prove she was worthy of the little killer name. D though, D made her want to be normal, to actually become an old lady, not just a killer. She wanted that more than anything, but she couldn't have it, or wouldn't let herself have it. Either way, there was no way she was settling down in Florida. She would just have to avoid allowing him to affect her, after all killing her emotions wasn't hard anymore. T didn't realize how much of a lie that statement was, and she didn't admit to herself that she wanted to feel what she was feeling. That she hoped that D was just as affected by her as she was by him.


	8. All work and no play

After hanging up with D, T got in the shower. After years of only having twenty minutes or less to get ready because of the guys she was used to it. Getting out of the shower she spread some leave in conditioner in her hair, to keep the freeze out of her curly hair. Walking back into the main room with only a towel on she dug through her bag for the outfit she wanted. Pulling out her light wash skinny jeans, black panties and a black corset like top she closed the bag back up. Moving on to the next bag she pulled out her knee high black boots, socks, and her hair drier. Getting dressed she brought the hair drier back into the bathroom. She didn't have time to dry all of her hair, but she didn't need to just her side swept bangs. Grabbing her make-up bag she got to work, keeping it natural like always but giving her eyes a more smoky look then usual, grabbing a hair tie out of the bag and putting it around her wrist she closed it up. Looking in the mirror, she took notice of things she usually didn't. Her eyes, a light, almost golden brown, looked happier then they had been, her smile seemed more real and she had a nice tan going on. Around her neck was the same cross necklace and heart necklace, she and her girls had worn since getting out of juvie. The cross for all the sins they have committed and to the hopes that a higher up would hear their prayers. The heart was for love, the love of their brothers, the love of their life, and of course the love for each other. Picking her rings up off the counter and siding them on, she thought of how she got each one. Two of them had been her mothers, and she wore them every day. Another one had been a gift of her niece and nephew for her birthday, and the last one was one that matched a ring Sarah always wore. They were plain but they had words engraved in them, T's said love hope and faith, sister. Where Sarah's said family, love and dreams, sister, Sarah and T had given them to each other for Christmas one year. They hadn't even planned it out but Jonny had given them each a little push in the right direction when they both approached him with the same idea. Lastly T slid the two bracelets on, one was from Ana, it was beautiful and Ana had gotten it because she wanted T and her to have something that matched. The other was a gift from Jonny, it had her initials on the face, and SOA on the back, complete with a little reaper charm. Jonny had gotten it for her when she first came to live with him, so that she would feel like she belonged, that she would realize that she was family.

Walking out of the bathroom she pulled out the last suitcase from under the bed. Pulling out a purse from the top before taking off the false bottom, she pulled out her gloves before even touching any of the weapons in that were perfectly laid out. Putting the gloves on, she opened her bag and slide a gun inside, with two fully loaded clips, and extra ammo. She picked up a smaller one and slide it in her boot, before grabbing the two knifes, one went in the other boot and the last on smaller and incased in a small leather case she slide it in between her breasts. Putting the bottom back in and piling the stuff she pulled out she closed it up and locked it. Picking up her bag from earlier she pulled her wallet out and put it in the purse. Stuffing her bag in the bag with her clothes she closed it and put the lock on the bag. Closing up the last bag and locking it she slide the keys into her purse and grabbed the room key and car keys from the table, before unlocking the door and walking out into the night.

D was waiting outside when she pulled up. He was blown away about how she looked. It was night now and she didn't have her sunglasses on. She was dressed in boots that went to her knees with a cute top showing her mid-drift and a pair of jeans. She looked like she was ready to go out, not to do a favor for the club, but hey what did he know about what a girl wore to go on a club mission? T smiled at him and stubbed her cigarette out. She kept walking and when she realized he wasn't following her, she didn't stop. She kept walking but shouted over her head.

"Plenty of time to stare at my ass later, if your this distracted then I hope I'm not being sent to work with you." She laughed as she kept walking.

D quickly shook his head and followed her, he was planning a sneak attack to see how good this girl was. Right as he went to snatch her from behind, she dodged his attack and caught him from behind. He felt the coolness of the gun pressed against his temple, and both of his arms were behind his back. She leaned in real close and he could smell her perfume. She whispered in his ear,

"nice try" and let him go.

D stood there shocked as she walked into the clubhouse. She didn't pay attention to the crowd that they had gathered. He was broken from his trance when one of the guys yelled

"Maybe we should make her our new SAA, I never thought the great D would be taken down by a girl!"

D flicked the crowd off and walked into the clubhouse. Once everyone was seated except for T, who wanted to stand, they started the meeting. Zeke threw T's file on the table.

"Pretty impressive file, ATF has done some real deep digging on you." Zeke said and opened the file. He took out the pictures and laid them out. There were more pictures from earlier laid out for everyone to see, pictures of T and Hap, T and Koz, T and Jake, and of course T and her girls.

"Jonny was explaining the rules you guys got set up with the Mayan's and the 9ners, said that if a club war pops off you and these two, all leave the country first flight out, to a unknown location. That way you three are not killed or used in a war. I cant believe that three girls got three clubs that hate each other to come together. Well at least make an agreement on something." Zeke continued looking at T, for what she knew was an explanation.

"For all the shit I have ever done, the only thing I have ever been busted for was jacking a car. Even though Jonny tried to keep me under control, I was still being wild, reckless and crazy. I got put in a cell with Lonnie and Marcy and after some bad shit went down we banded together, instead of trying to kill each other. The only way for a woman to be a part of this club is really as an old lady, so I am free to do whatever I want. Well I had more freedom before I became the little killer, but anyways, after beating up a bunch of bitches and a lot of time in the hole, they started to leave us alone. We have been the trinity ever since. Our brothers, knew that if shit went south and one of us got hurt that would be the end of us ever talking to them again. So we all got together and made some rules when we got out. I do what I need to for this club, I help out anyway I can, but I am not a member or an old lady, and my loyalty lies with the trinity, and my girls are the same. Shit goes south we bounce. No fighting for us, none of that shit because even though I don't like Marcus or Leroy, I love my girls and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was in a war and hurt one of them, and because of what I can do that's were I would be sent. So its really fucking important that this shit doesn't go south or there will be no way in hell that I can fix this and get rid of Zobelle, his LOAN assholes and the ATF. Right now I am the only hope that they have which is why Jonny is demanding that I come home. My plans almost always work out, and I can keep a level head and make sure that the causalities are kept at a minimum, if any at all. I love this club which is why I am going, even though I don't want too. Well that and because I don't want a huge war to break out and have my girls stuck in the middle. Like you said I am pretty dedicated for someone with no real ties to the club, but at the same time I have my own reasons for doing what I do. I know the risks, I went to school for this shit, but when it comes to my family and my girls I don't play nice or fair. All is fair in the art of war. I do what I must and I live with that, a lot of people don't really get what it is to take a life, they don't understand the strength it takes to wake up every day knowing that you are a killer. Being a killer defines you, it lives in you and it rules your life. Once you become one there is no going back. Sure you could not kill, but when you or someone you love is in danger the instinct comes flooding back and it takes over." T explained.

All of the guys nodded, then Zeke went on to explain what they needed from T. They needed two things, one of which T was not too fond of. Making threats, killing people, torture all that shit came easy to her, she however hated when the guys used her for stupid shit like woman fights and mud-fights. She knew that she needed to prove herself though so she would be doing both. Tonight her and D had to go and threaten some dudes, and then tomorrow was the fight. Guess they were in need of some cash for plane tickets, and even though T had the money to just pay for them, she knew that this was a test.

Walking back into the clubhouse, T took a seat at the bar, while D went and told Zeke how it went. Mike poured her two shots and they chatted while they waited for Zeke or D to come back and let her know she could go back to the motel and get some sleep that she desperately wanted.

D found Zeke, Jay and Ronnie sitting at a table in the back. They had watched the pair walk in looking like they had just come from a date or a club. Not like they had just burned down a shop as a message to the white hate mother fuckers who kept trying to jack their gun shipments, and had prostitutes, young girls addicted crack. Zeke kissed Ronnie before standing up and leading the other two men into the chapel. Ronnie walked over to the bar and joined in on the conversation with T and prospect.

"So, how did she do?" Jay asked. Zeke just sat back smoking his cigarette. He was excited to see how she worked first hand, he had heard lots of stories from Glen but he thought this was better as a quiet mission, to see what his SAA thought she was made of.

D was quiet for a moment, thinking of the best way to explain how fierce and scary she was when she was in action.

"Well, it was a crack house, so blowing it up wasn't that hard. But she walked right in there, looking every bit as fierce as a lioness. She shot two of the five guys before they even knew what happened. I shot the one coming from around the corner at her, while she got the other two who were trying to get their weapons. We walked through the house to make sure that no one else was in it and found a room with a bunch of completely drugged out girls, some as young as thirteen. T demanded that we drag them out of the house before we burned it up. None of the girls even woke up, and we laid them in the woods, far enough away from the house so the fire wouldn't get them. As I brought the last girl out, T went back in. She had all the guys lined up together, with needles in their arms, covered in kerosene. She took a fucking picture of that shit, and of the girls. Man the whole house smelled like ass, blood, death and gas. She nodded at me as she walked back out. I followed her out of the house as she lit a match and threw it on the house. We walked through the forest, back to the car and pulled out. T called an ambulance and told them that she had just driven by a house that looked like it was on fire. But she was so good man, not leaving a trace of fucking evidence behind and it only took us about two hours to do something I figured would take at least most of the night to do. I have never, ever seen someone as ruthless, and crazy and so completely calm in a situation like that. I sure as hell don't mind working with her. That was the easiest shit I have ever done. She's kind of pouting though." D told them

Jay and Zeke both had looks of shock and pride on their faces.

"Wait, you said she's pouting. Why is she pouting?" Zeke asked.

"Because she is one kill away from another tat, and because even if she did complete it, the person who usually does her smiley faces is an ass that she never wants to touch her again. I guess she takes pride in them, just as much as Hap." D answered.

"What did she take the pictures for? Does she have some sort of sick killer keep the prize thing?" Jay asked

"Nope, She said her and Hap always do, sometimes doing isn't enough, sometimes you have to let your enemy see what the fuck you did. Her words not mine" D said.

Zeke laughed, "call her in here I want to see those pictures and get them printed off so we can drop them to those fuckers at the fight tomorrow."

T woke up the next morning, well afternoon to her phone ring.

"Hello?" She asked groggily.

'Hey baby, get up and come get lunch with me?" T heard Ronnie ask.

"Sure, give me like twenty minutes to shower?" She asked

"No problem be by to pick you up soon." Ronnie answered before hanging up.

T and Ronnie enjoyed lunch and went shopping, T picked up a black sports bra and some shorts. Ronnie looked at her curiously.

"For the fight tonight, Zeke knew he was pushing it with this whole mud, girl fight." T told her.

Ronnie just nodded her head as they walked through the wal-mart, picking up things Ronnie need, T grabbing movies and books as well. After paying Ronnie dropped T back off at her motel to take another nap and get ready for the fight.

Zeke and his guys were all crowed around the huge tub-ring filled with mud, T standing by them with a face of complete calm. The ref had already been by to explain the rules, D and Jay were wrapping her hands before they slid the gloves on. Zeke had given the pictures to someone earlier to drop off to Arthur and his little gang. They were all there with a girl, the one who would be fighting T. The girl was about T's height but she had more weight, she didn't look to be as well built as T though. Looking over the competition, T shook her head. Zeke smiled at her and she shook her head.

"I can't fucking believe I'm doing this shit, you know your really pushing your luck with this right?" T asked him.

Zeke just nodded and laughed, all of the guys were eyeing T's body. D and Jay put the gloves on her hands lacing them up tightly. The match started, no one paying attention the guy who dropped the envelope off at the table Arthur and his crew were using, all of them crowded around the ring with the sons. Arthur was betting high on his girl, while the sons bet higher on T.

"Your going down fucker!" Arthur yelled towards Zeke.

Zeke didn't say anything, just kept a small smile on his face. The bell rang and the other girl advanced on T. T just stood there, daring her with her eyes to hit her. The other woman was poorly guarding her face and body and she was moving without thinking it through. As she swung, T hit her in the ribs followed by an upper cut to the face, making the girl fall in the mud. The girl kicked T's legs out from under her and climbed up on her. T had a good block on her face, and had no problem flipping so that she was on top, before the girl even knew what happened. The fight was over quickly after that because even though T had a couple bruises on her back and side, the other woman could barely stand.

T didn't feel bad at all until the other woman exited the ring and Arthur backhanded her hard enough to brake the skin. T glared daggers at him, but said nothing. Woman like that who made themselves complete property to other clubs were none of her business. She did feel bad about not making it seem more even, but she hadn't wanted to fight in the first place so she blamed it on the sons. Walking out of the ring they all patted her on the back, careful not to get to close because she was covered in mud. T walked back to the locker room she was using D, Jay and Austin following while the others went to collect the money. Once inside, D and Jay took off the gloves and Austin stood watch at the door. After her hands were unwrapped she grabbed her bag and a towel from it. Sliding on her flip flops she walked over to the showers. She didn't get undressed because they guys were still in there but she showered the best she could with them on.

Austin, D and Jay all watched T shower. Her nipples were tight and poking out against the dark colored material. The tight shorts were clinging to her even tighter as they became soaked. All three men, kept staring even as their erections grew painful and they had to adjust them. T shot them all a sexy smirk as she grabbed her clean clothes and walked into a bathroom stall.

D, T, Austin and Jay were all headed toward the airport. T had a couple bruises from the fight and the guys even bought her plane ticket there and would buy her plane ticket back so she could get her car. T's phone rang as they pulled up to the airport.

"Hey" T answered

"So there is a huge surprise for you when you get back" Sarah said back.

"I hate parties Sarah, besides its not like there is something to celebrate." T groaned.

"Oh, but there is and the fact that your forgot is just proof that you need this, besides I wanted to do it. Once you remember it will make sense. Have a good flight!" Sarah said and then hung up.

"Damn it." T muttered.

All of the guys looked at her. She just shook her head and kept walking. _What the hell am I forgetting?_ She wondered. Her mind was so consumed with trying to figure out the best course of action for the club that she didn't even remember something important. _Is it Ana or the babies birthday? Sarahs? What the hell am I missing? _She mind yelled at herself. Once they got on the plane Austin asked about the phone call. T didn't answer him at first, then she looked straight at him and asked

"What day is it?"

"Its June 23rd, why?"

"Shit, fucking son of a bitch. I cant believe that I forgot." T said again.

"What" Austin asked.

T threw her ID at him and snuggled down in her seat she was sitting next to D and was getting turned on from just the smell of him. D made her brain turn into mush, and her heartbeat faster. T had yet to find something about him she didn't like, and it was wearing on her nerves. She didn't need a man, she didn't need another Hap or Koz. D was different though, he saw her. He didn't just see someone who should be owned, he saw someone who deserved to be treated like a queen. T quickly shook those thoughts off. After all she was a killer, she didn't deserve that just like she didn't deserve Ana looking up to her like she did. T didn't want Ana to grow up, she didn't want her to find out how truly horrible T was and hate her, because in her mind once Ana found out she would, either that or she would want to be just like her. And to T, Ana hating her would be better than Ana trying to become like her. T decided than that she and Ana would have to have another talk, and maybe T would tell Ana the truth now. It was a stupid idea, but she did it for the right reasons. She should of never asked for, and they should of never agreed to it. she prayed to whatever god was out there that they didn't allow someone else to become her, follow in her footsteps because T was sure that it would ruin someone just as it was ruining her. What she said to the Florida sons was true, she tried to quit, she tried to let it go but it just kept coming back. T couldn't escape the killer in her, and she wasn't sure if it was because she was too weak minded or because she didn't really want too. Like smoking, T had quit for a couple days just to prove she could but she went right back to it, not because she was addicted but because she didn't really want to quit. It had become a habit in juive and it was a habit she didn't want to get rid of, one of the only ones she had left from when her life represented something normal.

Austin looked at her ID and started to laugh. T glared at him. Austin tossed it to Jay, who laughed at handed it to D. D looked at it at first he couldn't figure out what they were laughing at then he looked at the birthday. He started to laugh then. He handed it back as the stewardess came by and asked them if they wanted something to drink. T pulled out her credit card and said.

"Let me have two bottles of Jonny walker and a coke please. Oh and whatever they want." She handed the credit card and her ID to the lady. She smiled and handed her drinks and told her Happy Birthday. T slammed one of the bottles and poured the rest into her coke. The guys all laughed at her while they drank their beers.

"why do you hate your birthday so much?" Austin asked from across the aisle. T just shook her head and leaned it against the window.

"When I was 17 and moved in with Jonny and Sarah, Sarah threw me a welcome/birthday party, and well she has been throwing me parties ever since. I never had a party until then, I mean seriously how fucked up was it for my father to put me on a plane for my birthday, with an I love you but I cant handle you. Happy birthday have fun with your cousin. Sarah goes way out of control, I think because she feels bad for the lack of celebrations I've had and I hate being the center of attention." T shook her head and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed.

None of the guys said anything, all of them in shock that she had confessed something that was actually about her. Not the killer part about her but about the part of her that she was before that took over. They all watched her carefully, not sure what to say and figuring the best thing was to not say anything.

All of the guys eventually fell asleep, T didn't, she thought. She didn't sleep in public places you never knew when someone would try to attack. T might not be extremely well known like the rest of the sons but enough people knew her to make her worried.

T was mad that she admitted that to them, but the Florida sons made her feel the way she hoped she would in Tacoma when she became the little killer. They respected her, they listened to her and most of all they valued her, for more then just her killer skills. Something only Jonny had shown her, and even than it was far and few between. T was worn out mentally and she was tired of looking over her shoulder for Hap or Koz's next move, next plan of attack. She felt like a scared mouse waiting to become an owls dinner, which was fucked up because she should be an owl just like them. She should have as much control, but she didn't because she gave all the control to them. Now that she was fighting for it back, she realized just how much control they had and how hard it was to get it back. Even on the other side of the world from them, they were controlling her and she hated herself for it. She hated giving a damn and no matter how hard she tried to let it go, it never went away and that scared her the most. She was fucking terrified of never being able to release their control on her, which was stupid but true. Love or hate or well a mixture of both really was fucking with her and making her do crazy things. _Maybe,_ she thought, _I might just have to go back to Florida for a little while longer because I don't know if I will survive living like this for much longer. I am no longer really living, just going through the motions, surviving, barely._

When the plane landed, T and the guys got off the plane and headed towards where they were supposed to be meeting the Tacoma guys. T spotted Marcy and Lonnie right after she spotted the Sons. T smiled at Jonny and headed towards her girls. The Florida guys watched her walk by the sons towards two girls and hug them. The girls headed out without so much as a word to the sons, which was strange to the Florida sons but seemed like a normal occurrence to the Tacoma boys. Jonny smiled as he watched T with her girls, taking notice of the look that D gave her as she walked away. Jonny knew that look, it was a look of longing. Maybe T finally found a son who would treat her as more then an object, but before they left Jonny and D would be having a talk. Jonny knew he fucked up an allowing her to become the little killer and he would never make that mistake again, and he knew that even though he fucked up before he had a chance to fix it now. And he planned too, no more playing with T, no more using her and no more breaking her heart because even if it didn't seem like it, watching his cousin, his sister disappear in front of his eyes was killing him.

Jonny approached the Florida guys.

"Don't mind T, she did her job and got you guys here and made sure that we were here to meet you. She'll be by the clubhouse later for her birthday party or Sarah will kick her ass. We got a couple extra bikes for you guys but for now we got a cage."

The Florida guys all got introduced to the guys that were at the airport. D eyed Koz when they got introduced. The kept the smile but inside, he and his guys were fuming. T had opened up for a few minutes on that plan and while she was at the clubhouse. Giving every member of the Florida charter a look inside who she really was. Now back here, the last place she wanted to be because of this man, they were pissed. D knew that it was this man that had caused her so much pain, so much darkness, more so than the killing did. D wondered if Hap and Koz realized that it wasn't the killing that was killing her, it was them. Koz knew the minute he looked at the guy that he might just lose T. For now though he had time to win her back and get in her heart after all she said that if things were different she would choose him. He had time to prove he could be different, and he knew that playing nice, even if it killed him would help his cause. At least he hoped.

As T walked away she couldn't help but wonder if D was watching her walk away. Her girls noticed her take a quick look back.

"So did you hit it off with one of the Florida guys? That one dude, the SAA was pretty hot, and just your type. The only way he could be more perfect is if his name is David." Marcy said.

T didn't say anything but the minute they stepped outside she lit her cigarette and took a big drag.

"It is." T said taking another big drag. Looking at her girls confused faces. She didn't want to do this here, in fact she didn't want to do it at all. She didn't want to admit the effect he had on her, to herself let alone two of the three people who could always see through her bullshit killer mask or not.

"Wait it is the guy you were looking at or his name is David?" Lonnie asked.

"Both" T said letting out a big sigh. Then added "Come on lets go home, I want to take a shower and I have to get ready for this stupid party because if I show up anymore than fashionably late Sarah will have my ass."

The girls laughed and they all climbed into Lonnie's car. T had two cars, her favorite car was in Florida but at least she had a car here so she wouldn't have to rely on other people. T was happy to be back with her girls, yet she longed for the beach in Florida, for being somewhere that no one knew her. Somewhere she could be who ever she wanted, not part of the trinity, not Jonny's little cousin or the little killer for the Tacoma charter of the sons of anarchy. She was just T or a Tay, or whoever the hell she wanted to be. The girls all got ready at home and took two cars to the clubhouse. Marcy and Lonnie would go for support for awhile and leave after like an hour then T would sneak out and meet them once all the hoe's made their entrance and meet up with them at their bar. None of them were comfortable at parties for the other, but they supported one another no matter what. So when the Mayans had a party for Marcy, T and Lonnie showed up, and when the 9ners had a party for Lonnie, T and Marcy showed up, just like Marcy and Lonnie would show up tonight for T. They had been doing this for a long time, so they didn't think that they would have any problems except for they didn't factor in D. T didn't factor in that D would make it known he was interested in her, and she didn't expect things to blow up with Koz, but than again, it was her fault for not thinking it through, and for not allowing the thought that D was just as effected by her as she was by him.


	9. A night with D, A talk with Ana

**AN: I'm still trying to master the art of writing lemons. So if it sucks sorry, and of course I am always up for pointers. No Beta as always just me. I hope you guys like it. Any questions ask and if you want a teaser for the next chapter request it : ) I love you my readers! **

**Last time I will say this because I usually forget. I do not own SOA or anything that is recognizable but I do own Sarah, Ana, T, Marcy, Lonnie, and the Florida people : ) I love my own universe. **

**PS Drama to come in the next couple of chapters :) **

The party was just like all of them. Lonnie and Marcy made their exit right before all the little sweet butts made their way in. D, had stayed close to T's almost the whole night, watching her from across the room, keeping an eye on her. T didn't have to look to know he was watching her, she could feel his eyes on her. T had a plan to get rid of him though. She walked up to the bar and one of the sweet butts, Maria, said Happy birthday too her. This was just to fucking perfect. She told the sweet butt to grab one of her friends and head over to D. The girl looked at her confused at first. She knew that you never approached T's men or you would end up in a ditch somewhere. T laughed at the girl's confused face.

"Trust me, he's not with me. I'm not with anyone. He's fair game and I need him off my ass, so you would be doing me a favor honey." T told the girl.

The girl nodded and got up from the table. T hardly asked for anything and everyone knew that if she did, you didn't turn her down. Besides T was always quick to return a favor, and being in her good graces help, might even make her more respectable. After all, Maria hadn't slept with anyone but Koz so maybe once he got over T he would actually see her. T could help with that, at least Maria had some sort of hope. She grabbed another girl and they headed towards D who was talking to Austin. T watched Maria walk towards D, she knew it was wrong and she knew that the girl was in love with Koz and had even hooked up with him, but T didn't really care at the moment. She just wanted out of the clubhouse, out of this party to spend time with her girls and the next day she would spend time with Sarah and the kids, making it a perfect birthday. T made her exit quickly as D was talking to the girl.

"I'm not interested honey. Sorry." D told the girl. The girl looked at him confused.

"But T sent me over said that you could use some company." She told him, rubbing his arm and looking at the bar. The sweet butt knew that he was interested in T, and she knew that T wanted to leave like always. So she wasn't surprised that the Florida biker brushed her off, and was extremely proud of herself when she looked back at the bar and saw T was gone, causing D look at the bar and realize T was gone. After all how many times had she pulled the same move with Koz and Hap, after rejecting them and allowing another woman to comfort him. A lot of them loved and hated it because sometimes when T did that Koz and Hap would be almost loving and sometimes they would be ruff and brutal but allowing them pleasure most other members didn't. Maria had hope for another night with Koz, T had opened him up for her. D looked around and didn't see her anywhere. Koz came up behind him laughing.

"She's not here. She usually only sticks around until the girls show up and then she leaves. This is a classic T move. Better enjoy your company tonight because you wont be getting T." Koz told D, shooting a look at Maria before laughing.

D glared at Koz. He couldn't figure this dude out. He knew that he was one of the reasons that T headed towards Florida, but the main reason was Hap who they would see tomorrow when they made their entrance into Charming. D hadn't seen Hap in a couple years, and at that time they got along, but he knew now that he was trying to get T, all the friendliness would be gone. D shook his head, he didn't really care because after this problem was over he wouldn't see either of them for a long as time. D kept his cool even though he really wanted to hit Koz because he knew that T would be pissed if she had to come back. After all it was her birthday and she deserved to do what ever she wanted. D knew the road rules and even though T wasn't his old lady, sleeping with one of these girls seemed wrong. D wanted to prove that he was different, and he planned on doing it right.

"Never know, maybe she will come back and stay in Florida with me. Think I can wait a couple more days besides your not getting her either." D said to Koz then looked back at the girl

"I appreciate the offer doll, but I'm good." D said and walked away. Koz followed him

"I don't care who the hell you are, and I really could care less about what you think. But from one SAA to another, T is off limits." Koz said and shoulder checked D.

D didn't even stumble, he just pulled his hand back and knocked Koz right in the face. Silently cursing him for making him so mad he needed to put his hands on him. T would be pissed, D was sure but it felt so fucking good to hit him. Jonny and Jay who had been watching from the sidelines came over and broke it up before someone got in the middle of them.

"You guys want to fight take that shit outside, take it to the ring." Jonny told them.

D and Koz eyed each other and then nodded. They all headed out. Jay climbed in the ring to ref the match. Jonny however called T.

"Little cousin I know its your birthday but you might want to know that Koz and D are in the ring right now, fighting over what I would have to assume is you." He said in place of the usual hey.

"So what do you want me to do about it?" T asked, this shit was getting to be too much, and if Koz fucking really hurt him T would be pissed.

"Come watch?" Jonny asked.

"Who started it?" T asked, needing to know who she needed to be more pissed off at.

"I would have to say that you did." Jonny joked, but when T sighed an angry sigh he quickly added "I think that Koz did after you pulled that sweet butt stunt. From what Jay said D held back, it took Koz's shoulder checking him to actually get him to do something. Jay said D has a short temper and he was surprised he held back as long as he did. The Florida guys are quite fond of you and not so fond of the way Koz treats you. I think that they are all holding some deep anger in." Jonny was happy that she made friends out of the Florida charter. He couldn't wait to tell Sarah everything hr knew. Jonny hoped that D and Florida would be what he and Tacoma had been for Sarah.

"A'ight." T said with a groan and hung up.

Her girls looked at her, with concern and anger. Why the hell did shit have to ruin the girls birthday. She was already at her limit, the short trip and Florida wasn't enough to help her clear her mind. In fact it seemed to bring more to it. Both Lonnie and Marcy knew from watching though, that the Florida dude was different, he seemed to actually care about her. Hopefully things stayed that way and T got a good man to start a family with. After all before they knew it everyone would be getting married and having babies. T slammed her shot and stood up.

"Would you mind if we had one of the Florida guys stay at our crib, because someone might die if he doesn't." T asked her girls. They were worried about her, for once in a long time T looked defeated.

"Don't matter but whats going on?" Lonnie asked.

"D and Koz are in the ring right now, and I still have to go back to Florida and get my car. I don't think Zeke would be real happy if his SAA got killed because he has a crush on me and Jonny would be pissed if Koz gets killed because hes a dumbass. So to just avoid all this I'm just going to bring D back to our place." T told the girls.

They nodded but they both knew that this would cause her more problems, but it would save the club some. It was just like T to put her girls, Sarah and the kids and the club before herself. Shaking their heads they finished their drinks and paid the tab before leaving the bar and heading home.

"I think something bad is going to happen tonight" Lonnie told Marcy.

"Me too, me too." Marcy replied, hitting the gas.

_Happy fucking birthday to me_, T thought and pulled out into traffic. Jonny saw T's car pull into the lot and signaled Jay to start the fight. The crowd parted as T approached the ring. She stood next to her cousin and watched.

"Three rounds, regardless of who wins D is crashing at my place because we have bigger things to focus on then those two trying to kill each other all the damn time. Shit needs to be dealt with because I don't want this shit on my head, and it will get placed there. Its going to be worse when we go on lockdown in Charming. " T told him.

Jonny nodded to his cousin and went back to watching the fight. T made a valid point, but he was more worried about what T would do when it happened. Hap and Koz already lived on her shit list and Jonny was pretty sure that Clay lived there too. Jonny just hoped that he would be able to stop her before shit went south and that if he couldn't he could call in the first 9 to trial her. Clay would have no problem letting Tig pull the trigger and T was to loyal to the club. If it came to that she wouldn't even stop them, shit she would problem just stand there and egg him on to pull the trigger. T pulled 50 out of her pocket and turned to Mac and handed it to him.

"50 on Florida." Mac and Jonny looked at her like she was crazy. Koz was their best fighter and well he was Tacoma. Jonny and Mac shared a look, T might be becoming a Florida girl after all, because T knew her fights, and she had an advantage. She had worked with both of them and knew what they were made. Jonny couldn't decided if T was betting on Florida in spite of Koz or because she really thought he would win. After all T had always betted on Koz, even when she knew he was going to lose. In fact, T had saved the club a lot of fucking money that way. Jonny decided to place his own bet more to mess with her than because he wanted too. After all since her birthday was now ruined he figured he might as well try and lighten the mood. So that hopefully T didn't kill anyone, mostly him or Koz because right now they needed all of their people, and they really needed T for this shit to work.

"50 on Koz." Jonny told Mac.

Mac nodded. T leaned down on the ring like the rest of the guys right as round two was starting. She winked at D. Jay rang the bell but Koz had been distracted by the smile on D's face and didn't hear the sound. He looked behind him and saw T. D came at Koz and got some good hits on him. Koz turned around and got some hits on D. D pulled back and got a good one on Koz making him drop to the ground. Jay ended the round. Jonny looked at T and then the guys. He walked towards Koz with T on his heels,

"No talking about the bet, that would be cheating." She sang.

Jonny just shot her a glare but kept walking towards Koz. T hung back though and let Jonny talk to him. She could still hear them. Koz looked at her and then at Jonny.

"One more round, how you feeling?" Jonny asked Koz. Koz shrugged.

"So she come back for her new little boy toy?" He asked, but Koz thought it was more so because T had never missed one of his fights, At least that what he wanted to believe. "T is going to chew him up and spit him back out again ya know." Koz told Jonny.

Jonny just shook his head "She came back because I called her. said who ever wins the fight gets to stay at her house because we have bigger problems then you two wanting to kill each other all the time." Jonny told Koz.

"Who did she bet on?" Koz asked.

Jonny laughed." I am under strict rules by her to not talk about the bet. She said that its against the rules, and she is right. So just go out there and fight and after that you will find out. Might surprise you."

Koz nodded and stood up. T never bet on anyone but him, even when she had the rest of the club bet against him because it was a fight she knew he would lose. She knew how to keep his pride up, he didn't think that she would let him down now. New guy or not. Jonny knew it was wrong to lead him on, but he wanted Koz to really try. After saying all that he figured that maybe if he told Koz she betted on D, it would of made him fight harder. Jonny just shrugged the thought off, Koz getting his ass kicked might be good for him. Mac tried to wipe off some of the blood from his face, but Koz still had blood everywhere. Jonny walked back towards T.

"Your going down baby." He told her and leaned on the ring like she was. T shot him a glare.

"Nope, because while you were over there talking to Koz, I had Austin tell D the same lie that you told Koz. D just has an advantage because no matter what he is staying at my place, but I guess what they don't know wont hurt them. I will be more then happy to take your money though big brother." T said, still in a sing song voice. A sweet butt was standing around, not sure what to do. T looked at her

"Hey will you get me a beer?" She asked the girl. The girl nodded and walked quickly towards the clubhouse. Jonny yelled out after her

"Me too sweetheart!" She gave him a slight nod of the head. The fight started by the time the girl brought back the beers. Right now Koz had the upper hand. D quickly took it back though and hit Koz in his nose again. Time was called then. Jay and Jonny stood off to the side. Sarah walked up to T and put her arm around her.

"So who do you think won? Heard about the 'prize' I wonder if these guys realize that its only for one night." Sarah said laughing. T laughed with her and leaned close to her and whispered in her ear.

"Jonny made that shit up. D is staying at my house no matter what. The girls wont let Koz stay there, not after all the shit that went down. Besides they said that D is perfect for me."

Sarah nodded "You always have had a thing for David's and Florida might be good for you. It wasn't right for me, just like Tacoma might not be right for you. I would hate to see you go though little sister. T laughed at first, than nodded. She looked up and a huge group was on the stage. T and Sarah shared a look. T hopped up and walked over there. Jay and Jonny both looked at her.

"Look now we have a tie breaker person here, but we do reserve the right to veto if we think she is using this to her advantage." Jay said in a joking tone before swinging his arm around her.

T laughed, after the guys talked about it and why they thought each person should win. T laughed again. "You guys already know who it is, no one wants their pride to be hurt. You all know that D got Koz good and I'm not just saying that because I put money on him. I have seen them both in action and I knew that it would be close."

They all nodded Jay and Jonny went into the center.

"It was a close call, D from the Florida charter won." Jonny said.

Mac handed T and Jay each half of the money. Everyone from Tacoma bet on Koz, while T and Jay bet on D. T walked up to her cousin then and called for everyone's attention.

"The whole prize that Jonny started was a lie, just so you guys know." She smiled at Jonny and walked over to D.

D looked at her and kept drinking from his beer. D was worried that she would be pissed off at him, but looking up he could see the humor and worry in her eyes. T split her money in half and handed it to him. Then she leaned in real close,

"I hope you don't mind sharing a bed. You were going to be staying at my house no matter what. Get your stuff and lets go. I'm tired and its my birthday and since my party got ruined you owe me." She whispered. She winked and then walked away. Jay and Austin shot D a look.

"Lucky fucker." Jay mumbled.

D smiled and climbed out of the ring and went and got his stuff. As he was walking out of the dorm room he would no longer be staying in, he ran straight into Koz.

"Where the hell do you think your going? T told everyone Jonny was bull shitting about staying at her house. Besides her girls would never allow it, they don't want her to date a son." Koz said with an evil look in his eyes.

Koz was still pissed because T bet on D, and was getting close to this guy. She hadn't said anything to him since she came back. She avoided him, ignored him and went out of her way to make sure she was never alone with him. When Koz had asked Jonny about it, Jonny told him that being alone with T wasn't a good idea, said right now she wanted to kill him, just as much as she used to love him. Koz didn't think that T could ever really hurt him, and Koz was sure that if this fucking Florida dude wasn't around T would of already been with him. Koz was pissed off, this guy was fucking up his life.

"No, Jonny lied about the winner part, didn't matter who won, I would still be going to her place. She's pissed because we ruined her birthday and because we have bigger things to be worried about then fighting over her. Oh and according to what Jonny said, her girls would never let you stay there, not me. Its not dating a son they have a problem with, its who the son is." D told him back and started walking away.

Koz grabbed his bag and yanked D back towards him.

"I fucking told you that T is off fucking limits, I don't give a fuck if you beat me in a fight or not. I should fucking kill you." Koz said in a deadly calm voice.

When he went to pull out his gun to prove his point, He felt a gun pointed at his head instead. No one heard T approach them, they both had their backs to her. She was kind of upset about the fight but now she was just pissed. T clicked off the safety.

"Number one rule, never leave your back open. Getting sloppy Koz. Now let go of him." Koz let D go and D turned around and looked at her. She had the look of a killer. Koz started to turn around. T put her finger on the trigger and grabbed his arm forcing him to turn all the way around and look at her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Koz? He's a mother fucking brother. Your no better then Hap now. Making fucking threats towards people. What the hell is wrong with you two?" She yelled at him.

Everyone in the clubhouse was quiet. Jonny grabbed Jay's arm and motioned towards the hallway.

"What do you think is going on? Should we break it up?" Jay asked Jonny.

"Not yet, she needs to get this off her chest. Its driving her crazy. T never yells like that when she's pissed. We just need to be close by in case." Jonny told him.

Jay nodded, he knew that D was in that hall, and he was pretty sure that it had been D that Koz threatened. Jay wasn't worried about T hurting D though, he knew that T cared about him. Jay was pissed that Koz tried this shit, and he was pissed T caught it. Jay had been studying T, and he could tell that since they came back, she was close to breaking. A broken killer was dangerous, to everyone but mostly to themselves. Jonny was pissed that he missed what had happened, well the start of it at least. The only thing now that would matter is if T shot Koz.

"We love you. We are jealous crazy people. I cant stand the thought of anyone else touching you. You should be with me, let me give you what you always wanted. Let me give you my crow. Be my old lady T. I promise I will take care of you, just like before you went to Juive." Koz said looking her straight in her eyes.

Hoping that she would realize that he loved her and she belonged with him. He would take care of her, she didn't need this Florida fucker. But looking in her eyes, Koz realized that Jonny was serious and if Koz would of caught T in this hallway alone, there was a good chance he wouldn't be walking out of it. Koz was worried then, it was weird having your own talent turned on you.

T lowered the gun and Koz grabbed her in a hug, hoping to prove that he meant what he said. T shoved him off her and smacked him in the face. The sound echoed in the hallway, making Jonny and Jay appear.

"Fuck you Kozik. Fuck you and Happy and your stupid we love you bullshit. You don't fucking love me, your obsessed with me, your jealous of anybody who gets close to me. You just fucking feed me my own lines, the words right from my letter. You really don't fucking get it. I don't want to be your old lady. I don't want your crow. Get that through your head." T yelled at him.

She stormed away and grabbed D's arm and kept walking basically dragging him with her. Jay gave him funny look but D just kept walking with T. T unlocked the car and climbed in. D got into the passenger side. T sped out of the lot, her cell phone ringing. She tossed it at D

"Answer that will you and tell who ever the hell it is what happened. If it's the girls tell them we are on our way and I am too fucking pissed off to drive and talk. "

D flipped the phone open and answered with a gruff

"Hello?"

"D?" Jonny asked

"Yeah, T told me to answer she said that she is too pissed to talk and drive, I am supposed to tell you what happened."

D felt like a bitch but he knew that T was on the brink of going off half cocked and he was more worried about her sanity than looking like a bitch. Beside almost every face he passed in the clubhouse looked afraid and worried.

"Alright, but first I need you to promise me a favor. I don't care how you do it, but when you get back to her place I need you to calm her down and I need you to watch out for her. She's getting to the point of self destruction with all the drama these fuckers keep bringing on her. I know that you feel like a bitch right now, but seriously we are all afraid for her and for you. She's about to go off half cocked, she's even more pissed than she was when she shot at all of us for that tat stunt. "

"I can do that" D told Jonny and then told him what happened. Jonny groaned and D could hear him yelling in the background.

"Damn it Kozik you fucker! If something bad happens to her this shit lies on your head." Jonny yelled.

D had to hold the phone away from him, but instead of putting it towards the window like he wanted to, his hand flung out towards T on accident. T snatched the phone away from him.

"I wanted to fucking kill him Jonny, I swear I fucking almost did it. I want to turn around so fucking bad and just lay into him. " She growled out.

D snatched the phone before she could say anything else, ignoring her glare and told Jonny that he would keep his promise and hung up. They pulled up to T's place and climbed out. D followed T up the stairs. Once they got into the apartment D noticed the girls from the airport and the party. T walked into the kitchen and they all heard something crash.

D walked into the kitchen with the girls hot on his heels, the black girl said in a very serious, very quiet voice. "What the fuck happened? Koz cause this?"

D didn't say anything but headed into the kitchen as he watched T punch another one of the glass cabinets. He looked over his shoulders at the girls. He grabbed at towel that was hanging off the stove and approached T very carefully because he knew she still had her gun. T looked at him and he could see how sad her eyes looked. D grabbed her and looked at her hand.

"babe, why don't you go to the bathroom with your girls, clean your hand up while I get you a drink. Okay?" He asked in a very soft voice.

T nodded and walked towards the girls. The black girl shot him a grateful look. Once they were gone D found the broom and swept up all the glass. Lastly he found the Walker and grabbed a glass, he poured her a glass and walked toward where he could hear voices. He knocked on the door. The Spanish girl opened the door and D handed her the glass and the bottle and turned around and walked away. D planted himself on the couch to wait for the girls.

Lonnie was picking out the glass and Marcy was refilling her glass, they hadn't really spoken much after T explained what the hell happened. Neither girl pointed out the silent tears streaming down her face. They just let her deal with her thoughts, both happy that the Florida guy got her calmed down, the last time T freaked like that, they had to call Sarah and get her over and it took the three of them almost an hour to calm her down. The Florida guy just walked in there, all calm and shit and had her letting them clean her up in less then five minutes.

20 minutes later all three of them walked out. T sat next to D and looked at him

"Sorry about that. This" she pointed to the black girl "is Lonnie and Marcy" she said as she pointed to the Spanish girl.

D nodded and said "Nice to meet you"

"shit I forgot the bottle in the bathroom." T said as she went to stand up. D stood up first though

"I got it, I wanted to take a shower anyways, if that's cool" He said looking at the girls. They nodded

"No problem, that's my bathroom. There should be some not so girlie shit under the sink." T said and looked back at the TV.

D walked back towards the door and picked up his forgotten bag off the floor. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle and the glass and brought them back to T. She gave him a smile, and he headed back towards the bathroom. D was worried about her, and he was pissed that he let it get that far. He should of just walked away from Koz, but nope he let him push him, wanted him to push him so he had a reason to fight him. D felt guilty, something he hadn't felt in awhile.

He didn't bother to lock the door, because he didn't figure anyone would walk in when they knew he was in there. He was wrong though because T walked in. D pulled the curtain open and looked at her but didn't say anything.

T leaned down and grabbed some of the guy stuff from under the sink. She started to unwrap her hand then. After that she took off her clothes and grabbed the guy body wash and climbed in behind D. She handed it to him. He smiled at her and moved out of the way so she could get under the water. D washed his body and T moved out of the way so he could rinse off. D noticed her hand was still bleeding when she reached for the shampoo. He reached out and touched her arm lightly.

"Can I do that for you?" He asked his gruff voice that held a gentle tone.

T stared at him for a minute but nodded. As D rubbed the shampoo into her hair she relaxed into him slightly. It felt good to let someone else take care of her for once and washing your hair with one hand was a bitch. After she rinsed her hair out he put the conditioner in it. Then he reached past her and grabbed her body wash. D was gentle and loving throughout the whole thing. There was nothing sexual about it, but it was a moment filled with passion. After T rinsed off she leaned forward and kissed him. It started out slow and gentle but quickly turned into more aggressive, full of need and want. Their tongues battling and for once T just gave up being in control. She was tired of it, she wanted someone else to make all of her demons go away, she wanted someone else to overpower her. She realized that she was a woman full of contradictions, but she didn't have it in her to care. She loved the way D was all man, demanding and powerful, but he could be gentle and caring as well. Four days, that's all it had been. T didn't think it was possible to love someone in such sort of a time, but D made her feel things. He made life more real, more colorful and he gave her more reason to go on. T knew that she was on a downward spiral but she didn't care at that moment. D could take her to hell if that was where he was going and T would follow, just like the lost puppy she felt she was becoming. She realized though, that having strength and being strong were two different things. She had strength, but D was showing her what it was like to be strong.

T rubbed up against him and they both moaned. D kissed her harder and started rubbing on her breast. D broke off from the kiss and started trailing kisses down her neck to her breast. He took one nipple in his mouth biting lightly while caressing the other, pinching, pulling and tugging. D heard her moans and switched sides. T kept rubbing up against him. D didn't take his mouth away from her nipple as he picked her up and slammed her into the shower wall. T lined herself up with D's rather large and hard cock. D leaned up and kissed her before slamming into her. Both of them groaning at the contact, both feeling whole and complete.

"So fucking tight babe" he whispered in her ear and he bit on her earlobe. T moaned again. D was keeping a slightly slow pace.

"Harder, faster, fuck me D. Fuck me so hard that I walk funny for a week. It feels so damn good" T moaned out.

D picked up his pace and did as she asked slamming her into the wall over and over again until he was close to coming, the feel of her nails scratching his back, her heels digging into his ass, and her tighs tightening around his waist were signs to him that she was close too. He was pissed that he didn't grab a condom, but he wasn't planning on getting any in the shower. He wanted to spill his seed inside of her, but didn't want to force her or himself into being with each other by accidentally getting her pregnant. Even though D was more than ready to put his life on the line for this woman, wanted to make her his old lady, he knew that he had to wait until she was ready.

"I'm going to cum babe I need to pull out." He groaned out.

"You better fucking not David, I'm so close. I'm on birth control, just keep going." She moaned out.

D kept going harder and faster and when T screamed out his name, biting his shoulder as she had her orgasm, it brought on his own. He kept going to prolong their orgasms. When he couldn't go anymore he gently kissed her.

Leaning his forehead against her own he whispered "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday."

T studied his face and kissed him again gently "Its okay, your making it up to me." She told him quietly.

D nodded before washing them again and getting out. D wrapped a towel around himself and then one around her.

"Sit down let me rewrap your hand" He told T.

T sat and let him wrap her hand again. They walked through the door that led into her room. D was too exhausted to really look at the room, but he did notice that the walls were blue and so was the bedding. D laid down and pulled T close to him. It was weird for T, she hadn't spent the night in a man's arms for a long time. She felt safe and happy. Smiling she closed her eyes, D shielding her from the outside world was her last thought before sleep took over.

T awoke early the next day. She had to go over to Sarah and Jonny's house. She needed to talk to Ana today before they all left. T climbed out of bed and headed to the closet. When she came back out fully dressed D spoke.

"So no morning after sex?" he asked

T smiled at him,

"How about you just go back to sleep and I will be back later and make you breakfast in bed? I have to go see Ana and Junior. They wont need you at the clubhouse until later, Jonny already called. Its best to keep you and Koz away from each other for now." T responded.

D nodded and rolled over, T walked out of the room. Marcy and Lonnie were up, Lonnie was watching TV and Marcy looked like she was getting ready to leave.

"You leaving?" T asked as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Yeah, I got to head to Cali today. Make sure Marcus doesn't do no stupid shit. You know how he is." Marcy replied.

T nodded and walked into the living room to grab her bag and keys.

"You leaving Florida here?" Lonnie asked from her perch on the couch.

"Yeah I got to go see the kids. I think its time for Ana to know what I really do, before this shit goes any farther. She keeps pushing and as much as its going to kill me when she hates me, I cant have her become me." T told her.

Lonnie nodded. Her and Marcy had been waiting for this day. They knew it was coming and they knew that Ana wouldn't tell anyone. She would keep it to herself after all she was a smart girl and she respected T. Hopefully Ana wouldn't hate her but T would do everything in her power to make sure no other woman would be her. Anyone with a brain would see that being T was not always a good thing.

T pulled up to the house, Ana was out the door before T had even got out of the car. Ana ran and gave her aunt a hug.

"I wanted to go to your party last night but mom told me no" Ana said with a pout.

"Yeah well, it wasn't a fun party. Trust me baby, you didn't miss much." T told her, before linking arms with her and walking back towards the house.

Sarah was getting Junior dressed.

"T hey, sorry I figured that after last night you would be too tired to come by this morning and I already told Junior we would run errands. You know how much he likes to go bye-bye." Sarah said as T and Ana came in.

"Its fine, you mind if I steal Ana though?" T asked

"Sure. Make sure that you bring her to the clubhouse with you though. Ana you packed your bag right?"

"Yeah mom, I'm twelve not three." Ana told her mom.

"Speaking of being twelve now, what do you want for your birthday?" T asked

"I don't really know." Ana replied.

"Okay well we are off, see you later Sarah." T called as her and Ana left the house.

T called the diner and ordered their favorite food for them to pick up. After picking up their food, T drove out to her cabin. It was a favorite spot for her and Ana. T had bought a huge trampoline, and Ana and T would sit on it and talk. T handed Ana the food bag and walked to the trunk. She pulled out a birthday bag. Ana smiled hugely, she knew that T had already gotten her something and T's presents never disappointed. T laughed at Ana's face as she pulled out the two other bags and a box.

"What you should of known by now that Marcy and Lonnie would of gotten you something as well." T said as she closed the trunk and headed towards the gate.

After opening the gate T walked to the trampoline and set all the presents down before running back to the car to grab the drinks. Ana climbed up on the trampoline and opened up the food bags. She was already eating part of her sandwich when T got back to the yard.

"Hold on to these drinks while I get up, I don't want them all shaken up." T told her as she passed over the four cans of pepsi, their favorite.

Today was one of Ana's favorite days of the year. Ana's birthday was the 22nd, the day before T's and the day after T's birthday they always spent the day together. Sometimes they went out and sometimes they just came here and talked. T had bought the cabin a couple years ago, and though she could live in it she preferred to be closer to her girls and everyone else. Ana smiled and clapped when T turned on some music. Ana didn't even realize that T had brought her IPod dock station back with her when she got the sodas. Ana was on cloud nine eating lunch, listening to music and dancing with T. Once they finished eating T passed over the presents to Ana. Ana opened the one from Marcy first. It was a really cute outfit, jeans with a tight tank and a button up plaid, in Ana style with T style mixed in and a 50 dollar prepaid visa card. Lonnie also got her an outfit, and a visa card. The last bag was the biggest and it was from T. Ana pulled out the cutest jeans she had ever seen. Next she pulled out three different tops. Ana went to put the bag aside and T shook her head.

"There is more of course baby." T told her.

Ana reached in and her hand wrapped around a plastic case Ana pulled out an IPod touch like T's. She looked at T, who shook her head and Ana reached in again and pulled out two cards. 100 dollars for iTunes and 500 dollar visa card.

"Happy birthday baby girl, sorry I missed it." T told her as she reached over and gave Ana a huge before handing over the box.

Ana read the card with the box. It was from the Trinity. Ana knew that was Marcy, Lonnie and T. She knew the story about how they got that name and Ana had heard people talk about them before. Some girls were really jealous of them. After all the area they lived in was small and everyone knew about the Sons and T. All of Ana's friends told her that she was so lucky, but when Ana asked T about it before, she said that she would explain it someday. Inside the box was three pairs of shoes. The one Ana opened and tried on immediately was the boots that matched the ones that T was currently wearing.

"I know how much you love them so I figured that I would get you, your own pair so that you don't steal mine." T told her with a light shoulder shove.

"Thank you for all of this auntie, and make sure that you tell Lonnie and Marcy I said thanks too, okay?" She asked.

"Of course I will baby." T said wrapping her arm around Ana.

"Ana, why do you want to be like me? I don't always do good stuff." T asked

"You're a good person, I don't care what you say. I'm always going to want to be like you, well unless you kill people." Ana said

T didn't say anything for a minute, just staring out at the trees just over the fence.

"Ana, that's what I do. That's why they call me the little killer, and I never want that for you. Its not something I enjoy doing but its something I have become. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that you and junior are always safe. You know how you asked me why all those girls said that your so lucky. You asked why older girls are always nice to you and stuff. You know how sometimes at the parties at the clubhouse you see those girls who are all over the guys right?" T asked

Ana nodded "Momma calls them sweet butts, but she never explained what that means."

"Whatever I tell you Ana you can never tell anyone, okay. You cant tell anyone that I kill people or anything like that okay. Its really important that you don't okay because I don't want to go to jail anymore than you want me too okay?"

"Of course you can trust me."

"I know that baby, I just need to make sure that you understand that this is serious stuff. a sweet butt is a woman who has sex with the guys without being their girlfriend or old lady in hopes of becoming an old lady or just for protection. Those girls who tell you that are most likely future sweet butts. They all want to get to the top of the chain, to be what your mom is. What you will be someday. Ana don't be like me, find a nice son and settle down, become an old lady. Trust me you don't want to be like me."

"How come your not an old lady?"

"Maybe someday I will be, but for now I am what I am. Its not that simple for me, I wish it was but its not and that's okay."

"I get why you don't want me to be like you. I still want to be like you but instead of being a killer I want to be an old lady. You are strong and beautiful and kind and you care about me and junior more than yourself. That's why I want to be like you."

"As long as those are the only reasons, than I am okay with that. I love you Ana and I only want whats best for you, and being me well that's not it okay?" T asked.

"Okay" Ana agreed.

T's phone went off, she glanced at Ana before answering.

"Yeah okay, I'll drop her off and than go get D, okay?"

"Yeah see you soon."

T hung up the phone and helped Ana get her stuff together. They threw out the food and brought the presents back to the car.

"Sorry about this baby girl but your dad needs all of us at the club, I'm going to drop you off and than I have to go back to my house and grab my bags and D." T told Ana.

Ana nodded, she wasn't really mad at T but she was hurt. Everything that Ana had ever thought had been changed today and she realized that she needed to pay closer attention and quit over looking the smaller details. Ana was at a cross road. She wanted nothing more than to be normal. She didn't like the older girls paying her attention because of the club guys and she didn't like the way people looked at her like she has the plague or with pity. It was a tough lesson for Ana to learn, not everything was as it seems. She couldn't decide if her family is good guys or the bad guys. So she decided that maybe they were a little of both.

After a quiet ride back the clubhouse, T couldn't decide if she did the right thing or not. She wanted Ana put off of being like her before it got too far, before she set her heart on it too much. Ana reached over and gave T a hug as she climbed out of the car. T smiled and waved after she saw Ana walk into the clubhouse. Pulling away and headed towards home, T just hoped that she did something right for a change.


	10. Charming is not so charming

_**AN: So this is the start of the plan and the Charming drama. I hope that you guys enjoy it. As always no Beta just me :) Ps for those of you in love with Tara I kind of made her a bitch in this story. I personally am not a huge fan of hers, but to each thought I should give you a heads up. **_

_Jonny sat D down before they headed towards Charming. He knew the minute that T and D walked into the clubhouse that shit had changed. T grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one to D, without even thinking about it. Jonny watched T fall into the place of an old lady without even realizing it. She was still strong and still voiced her opinions but she had stayed by D's side all morning. Jonny was sure the rest of the club thought it was because of the whole event that happened last night, but he could tell that it was because she was assuming the role of his old lady. Jonny couldn't wait to see how she acted in Charming, and how much more old lady like she became before they left. She smiled more that morning then Jonny had seen his cousin smile in a long time. Jonny also knew that Happy would be worse then Koz had been, and he had no control over Hap anymore. Clay did and Jonny planned to make it known that T was happy and he wasn't going to let anyone fuck that up. Jonny and D sat in a corner as T sat around and talked with them woman who would be making this trip with them. _

"_You know, since she came here the only thing she wanted was to fit in. T wanted a crow, she wanted to belong, take care of her men just like Sarah. Even though it might not seem like it, she still does. Koz and Hap fucked her up good. She did everything they asked of her, she became who they created but she still didn't get what she wanted. Your good for her, but it's a tough fucking road. Hap and Koz are nowhere near done yet, and I wouldn't put it past them to corner you. I know that you don't need protection from them, that you can handle yourself. Just watch your back with those two and make sure that you keep one of your guys or T with you. I know my cousin and she will fight to the death before she lets something bad happen to someone she loves or cares about, shit even someone shes loyal too. She might not like the Charming guys, but shes loyal to a fault and nothing will happen to anyone while she's around. Take good care of her in Florida brother, and never let her attitude get you down she may seem tough but somewhere locked deep in there is the little girl she used to be and she needs to make peace with that girl before she can completely move on ya know?" Jonny told the man who he had no doubt would be T's future._

"_I get it, better then you think. I've seen it. Last night was a good damn nightmare Jonny, we walk in the house and she goes straight to the kitchen and starts punching threw her glass cabinets and when I looked at her, I saw that little girl. She looked so damn small and lost and venerable that it scared me. She's as strong as they come and I would give anything for her to be mine, but it will take time. I wont promise not to hurt her because I know at some point something will happen, but I wont do it on purpose and I will do everything in my power to fix it." D told Jonny._

_Jonny just replied with a nod, those were almost the same words he had told Zeke when he found Sarah. he knew that it would be a tough road and he hoped that T and D would make it. He wanted his little cousin, his little sister back. Not the killer one, the one who loved first and fought second and he knew looking at D that she had finally made a good choice. _

"_Just keep your shit under wraps till this shit is over, don't need it blowing up in our faces we got enough shit to deal with right now." Jonny told D. _

_D nodded and looked across the room to where T was going over shit with the old ladies of this club. She might not be one yet, but she was still their leader and they all put their trust into her. D knew that she would fit in with the Florida club. Ronnie was the boss and T would respect that. All he had to do was get both of them through this Charming bullshit and than they would be on the first plane back to Florida. D would take her to his house, the one he owned but never used. Thinking about it, he should call Zeke and have Ronnie get someone in there to clean it up. It would be perfect for T, it was nice but not over the top and right off the beach so she could enjoy as many hours of beach time as she wanted. And he and the guys wouldn't have to worry about getting their nuts blown off in the process. _

_T knew as she climbed in her car that Charming was the last place on earth she wanted to be. She didn't want to see Happy or any of those Charming assholes and she sure as hell didn't want to have to look at the broken vindictive man she was sure she would find, because losing someone you love when it could have been prevented was a waste. She laid out a god damn road map to prevent this shit and Clay went and fucked it up anyways. Now she had to clean up this mess before she and her girls suffered. Driving past the welcome to Charming sign T took a deep breath and put on her carefully constructed killer face. T followed the Tacoma bikers with loads of cars filled with woman behind them. For now the club would go on lock down, because T didn't want to have to worry about anyone getting hurt or used as leverage. Might be easier pickings for that ATF bitch but for now, T needed to make sure all of her people were safe. _

_Ana was riding shot gun, trying to find a song she wanted to listen to on T's IPod. A question had been pulaging her mind. _

"_Auntie, how come your so against me being like you. I'm not saying that I want to kill people but you get lots of respect from everyone. Whats so wrong about that?" _

_T was quiet for a moment. _

"_I get respect because people are afraid of me or because they need me. You're a lot like me Ana, we are stubborn and proud and extremely independent. Once I became the little killer, I was no longer in charge of myself and it sucks for me. I no longer have my independence. I'm at the mercy of the club now. They use me and trade me and have me do whatever it is they need. Sometimes I feel like a toy. When I go on 'vacation' most of the time I'm just being sent somewhere to help out a different club. Not really going on a vacation. I want you the boss of yourself and able to make your own decisions, not have them premade for you. If you meet a nice guy and want to date him I want you to be able to son or not. Do you get what I'm saying?" T asked_

"_Yeah, I think I do." Ana responded. _

_Ana let T's thoughts flow freely in her mind. Ana understood than, it was like a light bulb went off her aunt felt like she was the toy everyone fought over before the teacher came over and said 'Now everyone lets share'. Ana finally got it, she understood why T was so against Ana wanting to be like her. T was no longer free to do as she pleased. Ana knew her aunt was right, they were alike in a lot of ways and Ana knew that T didn't want her to lose her independence like she had. She wanted Ana to be free._

_T walked towards the clubhouse with her killer face on, dressed as she normally was and anyone who saw her would assume that she was an old lady not one of the clubs go to killers. T made note of the ATF agent sitting outside of the TM lot and thought that maybe it would be fun to just kiss D and give that ATF bitch something else to put in her file. Now wasn't the time though, they had bigger worries. _

_Before they left Tacoma T had talked with all the woman that would be coming with them and told them that ATF would be after them to flip on the club. She trusted these woman though and they knew the game well. No one would flip and they would all be out of the way of the drama that would happen when SAMCRO blew up LOAN. No one else would get hurt if she could help it._

_D rode to this shitty ass little town on his borrowed bike, still riding the high he got from being with T. She had been domestic that afternoon with breakfast and a blow job in bed. He didn't like the look on her face as she approached the clubhouse, and he didn't like that Koz walked straight up to a biker dude with a shit load of tats. He knew that was Happy and he knew that shit was going to be tough in Charming. He didn't expect those assholes to have his back. He knew it wouldn't matter to them if he got killed because after all he had the girl, the one thing in this world that they both desired more than anything. Jonny's talk with D was still fresh in his mind. D was proud of T though because she didn't even spare them a glace as she waited for him to climb off his bike. They walked towards the clubhouse together, not touching but just knowing that the events from the night before had drastically changed their relationship. _

_T walked into the clubhouse with the D and up to the bar. She smiled at the prospect who was already filling a glass for her. After she slammed the shot the prospect grabbed her a beer and poured her another one. D took the seat next to her. She looked over at him, at first her face was calm and then slowly she smiled. D knew that she wanted to keep her reputation, but he also knew she wanted the world to know that she was with someone else. That afternoon they had a talk, and D learned that T had never slept with Koz or Hap. Before him, she had never slept with any son at all. That made D proud, knowing that he would be her first and last son. She didn't come out and say it, she didn't need to. She belonged to him know and he knew it. Just by watching the way she was slowly but surely falling into the old lady role. The beers, waiting for him to get off of his bike, and how she kept by his side. _

"_Kip, this here is D from the Florida charter, he will take a shot of vodka and a beer as well. D this is kip or half sack the prospect of this lovely little town of Charming." T introduced the two men. D nodded at the prospect as he placed his shot and beer on the counter. _

"_T, get your ass in here we have shit to discuss. You too Florida" they heard someone yell. T looked behind her and D noticed the blonde with the 'Charming' smile and blonde hair yell at them. _

"_Yeah Jax coming" She yelled back. Kip quickly poured her another shot to slam and already had another beer waiting. She smiled at him _

"_Keep an eye on my girls prospect, don't let nothing happen to them or let any of them leave or I'm going to take your other nut." She told him and left him with a stunned look on his face and a kiss on his cheek._

_D followed behind her laughing. D took the open seat next to his VP and T stood slightly behind Jonny and Jay. Her face was calm and collected as she met eyes with everyone around the room. D could read her though. She was pissed, this could of all been prevented but nope. Clay and Charming did shit their own way. Zeke was more calm, more analytical about how he ran his club. Clay was all impulse. Even Jonny had better control and worked his club better than Clay, which was sad because Clay had been part of the first 9. The Florida guys could read the greed, the hate and the bloodlust. It rolled off of him. _

"_Now I know that we don't usually let woman in this room but because she is the master mind behind this plan we have made an exception. " Clay said to the men in the room. "Now before we hear her plan we have to fill her in on the new developments that we have found out. Firstly a good woman of this club has been killed, retaliation on the loan member who did had already been made. Secondly" Clay got choked up, so Tig cut in to finish. _

"_LOAN rapped one of our woman and we want them gone. We know who did it and we plan on dealing with that problem ourselves." Tig said with a glare at all the men in the room except for Jax and Clay. T nodded her head and went into the plan. _

_The Florida and Tacoma guys looked at her with pride. Her plan was pretty perfect, and she answered every question. Explained the outcome of certain situations to the guys when they brought up ideas, she never made them feel like less. After all this was their club and T was guest, she was respectful and by the time the men left the chapel they were all on board and aware of their part in her plan._

_Once church was over she walked into the main room. She found the three woman that she needed to talk to the most sitting at a table in the back. She grabbed a beer from the bar and walked over. _

"_Just the woman I was looking for. We need to have a little chat if you don't mind." T said standing in between Gemma and Sarah. Tara went to stand up and walk away but T stopped her _

"_You signed up for this little lady and well someday you will be Queen, so you are needed as well. Grab the baby and lets go have a chat somewhere more private." _

_All the woman nodded and Gemma lead them to the office. Once the door was close T started her speech. _

"_I am trusting you all to keep the rest of the woman calm and in line. I know that I have no rights but it is important to me that you are all safe. I don't want anyone of you leaving this clubhouse without me if possible. LOAN already got to one of you once and I wont let it happen again. The guys are going to be busy with the plan, and I told them I would keep you guys safe. I know it sucks checking in and having a body guard but its necessary, these assholes have no fucking limits and no respect which is something I can at least say the Mayan's and the 9ners both have." T looked at Gemma this time,_

"_You and me and going to take a trip into town and I want you to show me the bitch that set you up. I will set it up so you can have your revenge without getting caught or something stupid like that because knowing that ATF bitch she probably already knows and is waiting for you to retaliate. The guys are already moving to get ATF and the LOAN members the plan is in motion." _

_All three woman stared at T, _yeah of course she had no rights she wasn't an old lady, but she also knew that just because we are woman doesn't mean that we don't want revenge on those who have wronged us_. Gemma thought. _

"_Okay girl I need to get some more supplies anyways so lets head out. Need anything for Abel, Tara?" Gemma asked, shocking all three of the other woman. Gemma was never one to let anyone boss her around, and though she didn't like it she knew that T had her best interest at heart. _

"_Don't be so fucking shocked okay, yeah I don't like taking orders from nobody, but she understands my need to take care of myself and this fucking problem so I'm going to go with it, because I am sure she had to go to bat for it with the guys." Gemma told me. T nodded her head in agreement, it was hard but the guys knew Gemma would do it on her own and having T set it up and help was a safer bet, that and the fact that T would take the fall if shit went south. _

In town, Gemma pointed out all the things she felt T should know. Lucky for them, Polly the bitch that had set her up was just getting ready to leave. T had Gemma follow her. Gemma wanted to get out of the car and go get the bitch when they pulled up, but T told her to wait. Polly was in and out quickly and back in her car. They kept following her and she pulled up to another house. T went first to make sure the coast was clear before she and Gemma went in this one. It was quick and fast and they were on their way back to the clubhouse.

Pulling up to the clubhouse, T and Gemma noticed Sarah and Tara arguing outside. T was out of the car before Gemma had even came to a complete stop.

"And I'm telling you that you better fucking wait until she gets back. I don't fucking care who your dating, and I don't give a fuck that this is Charming and not Tacoma. While Gemma is gone I have the responsibility to keep your ass safe. They will be back soon so you just need to wait. He is fine and you can wait." Sarah yelled at Tara.

"I don't give a fuck, half sack will go, Piney approved it. I'm not fucking waiting around for anyone to show up. Nothing is going to happen." Tara yelled back.

Neither of the woman heard T or Gemma approach. Gemma stood behind Tara while T went and stood beside Sarah.

"You know doll, she's right. I don't blame her for this. Something happens to you or that baby while you guys are on her watch that's her head. Besides I know that Jax and Clay told Piney that all woman and children leaving this club needed to get it approved by T first. So what did you do lie to him and tell him T said it was okay?" Gemma asked.

Tara turned pale but didn't respond. T put a comforting arm around Sarah before telling her to go back inside and they would take Tara where ever they needed to go. Sarah stopped short before going back in.

"I don't fucking like her, and I don't fucking trust her. Something is up with that girl. Watch her and watch her good. Me and the kids need you to come back, and I know D does too." Sarah told her before pulling her into a tight hug and going inside the clubhouse.

"Kip, me and Gemma are taking her car, Tara can take her's with Abel and you follow us okay? Keep your eyes open." T told him before climbing in Gemma's car.

Gemma shot T a look before following Tara out of the lot.

"She doesn't trust her" Gemma stated. T knew it wasn't a question.

"No, and I'm sorry if it offends you but neither do I. She seems like she's got something going on and I need all of you guys to be open and honest with me if I am going to be able to protect you the best way I can." T told Gemma.

Gemma didn't say anything but she nodded. True woman of the club knew how shit worked and Tara was a little girl playing a woman's game. Gemma worried for Jax and Abel and everyone, but she knew that T would do whatever it takes to make sure they all stay safe. Even if it means getting shot at, killing or going to jail, no woman in any club was more protected then they were right now. Gemma knew that protecting someone who she didn't trust was hard on T, but she would do it none the less. Gemma respected T, she would do anything for a club she had no real part in.

At Jax's house, T headed to the bathroom while Gemma went to Abel's room. Neither woman heard the door open, but they did hear the commotion. T creeped out of the bathroom, gun ready, she was mad at herself because it was her personal weapon. The one she had to jump through hoops for to get registered but with ATF clinging to their asses she didn't want to walk around with an illegal gun, and since she had a concealed weapons permit no one could say anything about her packing heat.

T peaked around the corner and saw some man tieing up Tara. She pulled Gemma forward quietly and crouched down behind the couch. Gemma tapped T and pointed to where a leg was hanging outside of the kitchen doorway.

"stay here and don't do anything yet okay. I'm good to kill him right?" T asked.

Gemma nodded. T crept back towards the hallway and walked out. Cameron turned around and shot at her. He barely missed, the bullet grazed T's arm. Before he could shot again T shot and hit him between the eyes.

"Gemma call the guys." T said walking right past a tied up Tara towards kip.

Gemma walked into the kitchen with her phone attached to her ear

"Jesus Christ is he dead?" She asked nodding towards Kip, completely ignoring whoever was on the phone.

T shook her head and flipped open her phone calling Jonny and telling him what happened, while Gemma untied Tara. As soon as she was untied T wished that Gemma would of left her that way. Jonny could hear Tara screaming in the background.

"Look I need to get them to go along with the story before the cops show up. Everything will be fine it was complete self defense, I even have the wound to prove it. Got to go, but you might want to hurry up before I kill Jax's bitch too." T hung up

"You could of fucking hurt Abel!" Tara screamed at her. T lit up a cigarette as she heard the cop cars approach.

"Look, he stabbed Kip, tied you up and tried to steal Abel, that's the fucking story and the truth so you better fucking get it right before the cops get in here. We will talk about this later." Gemma told her.

"Go hide your guns, mine is registered so I can hand it over with nothing bad happening to me." T told them. Gemma handed Tara the guns and sent her to Jax's room to put them in the safe. Before the cops could even reach the door Gemma had it open. They heard the motorcycles coming up the way.

They explained the story and T handed over her gun, and refused an ambulance ride just letting them wrap her arm up. The bullet only grazed her so she didn't need stitches or anything like that. After the cops took their statements, they told them that they were free to leave. T had been watching Tara like a hawk, this shit wasn't good and if it would of just been her and Kip, Abel would have been gone for sure. T also didn't like the way that cop was talking to her, standing close and whispering. _Charming has some serious issues._ T thought. T had been too busy thinking to even hear the conversation, she only caught the end.

Gemma said that they would all go to her house because the drama that was about to follow didn't need to be shown to the whole club. Than some of the guys would head to the hospital to see if prospect was alright.

Walking into the house Jax sat down and pulled Abel out of his car seat and into his arms. Jax was pissed and extremely grateful for T. Gemma took a seat next to him, with Tara on his other side. T stood up, smoking and pacing.

"What the hell happened?" Jax demanded. T didn't say anything.

"Well Cameron just stormed in yelling about how a son killed his son and it was going to be a son for a son. Kip tried to stop him, but he stabbed him and put a gun to my head. He tied me up and then T came out. HE turned around and shot at her and then she shot him in the head. He dropped Abel's car seat and fell to the ground. She could have killed Abel, Jax." Tara said, the last part louder then the rest.

"Me? I could of fucking killed Abel? If Gemma and I wouldn't of shown up at the clubhouse you would of left with just Kip and that mother fucker would of just took off with Abel, and Kip would for sure be fucking dead! What the hell is wrong with you? You fucking signed on for this shit, you want to act like his mother but you wouldn't even give up your life for him. Gemma and I saw the whole thing. You fucking disgust me. Who the hell knows where the hell Abel would of ended up if I hadn't of done that!" T yelled at her.

Tara stood up and yelled back. Koz and Hap approached T and stood behind her. Jonny was lighting a cigarette and handing it to T, trying to get her to calm down.

Tara wouldn't shut up though. She just kept going on and on about how Abel could have been hurt or killed.

"He's fine, and besides getting a fucking bruise would have been better than letting that fucker take him to go knows where. Why the fuck didn't you do something. If I wasn't there he would of just got away with him and you would still be fucking sitting there." T yelled again.

Tara came out of nowhere and smacked her.

"I'm fucking pregnant. If I would of did that it wouldn't of just been my life it would have been my babies too." She yelled.

Jonny was holding T back and the room was quiet. T looked straight at Jax,

"Get your bitch under fucking control. I don't fucking give a shit about anything but doing my fucking job, get her to act right or I aint protecting her ass club baby or not. I swear to god a bitch who wont die to protect a child she claims to love and care for as her own doesn't fucking deserve anymore." T said in a killer voice before storming out of the house.

Jax hadn't said anything, he just stared at Tara. Gemma looked back and forth between them and the door. T had risked her own fucking life for Abel. She would of shot and killed him even if she didn't have her personal gun on her and than she would of went to jail for having a gun that committed who knows how many murders. That didn't matter to her, all that mattered was that the baby and woman were safe.

"How long Tara?" Jax asked.

"A month." Tara replied.

"Is it mine?" Jax asked

"Of course Jax" Tara said with a look of disbelief on her face.

"Really because for some reason Hale already knew and I didn't. I saw how he was talking to you after they questioned you. Stall had shown me pictures of you and another guy. I thought it looked like Hale but I figured that they were fake, now I'm not so sure." Jax said.

"Jax, I would never do that to you." Tara said approaching him.

Jax held his hand up to stop her advance.

"You were just going to let him take my son. T fucking saved him. You need to learn some club respect. On top of that you completely went against the rules and were going to leave with just sack, you lied to Piney and you lied to me Tara. I almost lost my son because of you." Jax said shaking his head.

Tara's eyes filled with tears. "I love you Jax, this is your baby! I want to be a family, you, me, Abel and this baby."

"You want to be with me? Your going to apologize to T, and follow all the fucking rules with this lockdown. I'm leaving Abel with my mom and Sarah. He isn't to leave the clubhouse at all." Jax said before putting him back into the car seat and handing him to Gemma.

"A'ight guys, lets head back to the clubhouse. We need to have a chat with everyone after we talk to T and see if this messes with her plans." Clay said.

"It wont." Gemma added "I'm sure T and I will still go through with the original plan. I would bet T is ready for this shit to be over and be as far away from us and all of this as possible."

All the men nodded and left the house. T was standing by Gemma's car. Gemma walked over and unlocked the doors. T went to get in but someone grabbed her hand.

"How about you ride with me sis? The air might calm you down." Jonny said.

T looked at Gemma who nodded, and followed Jonny to his bike. She climbed on and slid on his helmet. Wrapping her arms around Jonny's waist, she buried her head in between his shoulder blades and let the tears fall, as they drove back to the clubhouse. T hated crying and lately she was reaching that point more often. She knew part of the reason was that D was helping her feel shit again and it was harder to just kill off her emotions and still keep the ones she wanted. Aside from that Tara had everything T wanted and she acted like she was better than them, that she should be able to do whatever she wanted. She didn't get that she was just as much of a target as everyone else. After what happened to Gemma, one would think she would get that she really is in danger.

"Shes a stupid bitch" T mumbled.

"Got that straight sis" Jonny said back.

Jonny was waiting for T to say something and he hoped she would soon because if she held a grudge Jax would be losing his old lady. Shit, Jonny couldn't even believe that the bitch was still standing after hitting her. T had knocked bitches out of less, but that just showed the club that she respected them and their old ladies. Respect, something she is constantly having to prove to everyone, just like proving that she deserved and could handle the little killer name.

When they walked into the clubhouse, everyone stared. Clay called church and the guys walked in, Jonny dragging T behind him. Jonny shoved T in a chair and stood behind it, allowing D and Jay to sit beside her. He kept his hands on her shoulders, while Jay and D looked on and didn't say a word. Jax walked in last and come right up to T. He got down on her level and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Thank you for saving my son." Jax said before leaning in for a hug. T hugged him back.

Clay called church, after ripping Piney a new one and telling him, no woman or children left the building without T personally giving him the okay, he explained what happened. The day wasn't over and T and Gemma still had to draw Stall out so that the rest of them could deal with the loan assholes. T walked back into the main room and stood beside Sarah. She put her hand on Ana's arm, while Sarah put her hand on top of hers. Jonny wrapped his arms around Sarah and D put his arm around T. Hap and Koz glared from across the room.

Clay told everyone what happened, and told them the new rules.

"We hope that by tomorrow this will all be over with and everyone can go home." He said before grabbing Gemma's arm and walking towards T. Gemma pulled T into a hug. Gemma T and Sarah all left the clubhouse to go and talk in the office.

"I cant believe that bitch just stood there, and then had the fucking nerve to yell at you." Sarah said once they were all seated and Gemma had filled Sarah in on the whole damn event.

T was quiet she hadn't really said anything since the last time she yelled at Tara.

"That wasn't all, she smacked her too." Gemma told Sarah.

Sarah shot a look at T. "I cant believe she's still alive."

"yeah well she's pregnant and said it's Jax's. So we'll see, but her life around here will be hell, and it will be even worse if that baby isn't his." Gemma said.

Both woman looked at T, who still hadn't said anything. T looked up at them.

"I just want this shit to be over with. I'm getting a beer, than lets do this." T said and walked out of the office.

Sarah and Gemma exchanged a look, before going back into the club house. T was at the bar, a bottle sitting in front of her. They watched as Tara approached her, and slowly walked towards her.

"I'm supposed to tell you I'm sorry." They heard Tara say. T turned and looked at her.

"Don't even fucking go there. Don't fucking talk to me, don't fucking look at me, and sure as hell never fucking lay your hands on me again. Kid or no next fucking time I'll kill your ass. I don't think you understand how lucky you are or how much I'm holding back. I have knocked bitches out for way less than you have said and done today. So if you want to keep fucking walking you better just leave me the hell alone." T said in a calm voice.

Tara huffed, acting not even phased by T's words.

"Well you know what, I'm not fucking sorry. You don't fucking matter, your not a wife, a mother or an old lady. You're a fucking killer." She said back.

She didn't realize that the whole club was quiet and she didn't see Sarah or Gemma approach. D showed up out of no where and pulled T back into his arms as she went to lunge at Tara. Jax came up behind Tara and grabbed her arm roughly before dragging her off to his dorm room, screaming the whole way. T was trying to get out of D's grip, but he held strong and threw her over his shoulder. Carrying her back towards the dorms, Jay lead them down the hall towards the room all of their stuff was in. He opened the door and moved so that they could go in. Tossing the key on the dresser, Jay left the room closing the door behind him as D threw her on the bed.

Jay got with Jonny, and promised to keep an eye out at the clubhouse while they all went to check on the prospect. Jay shook his head as Jax came out of his dorm room locking the door behind him. Jax shot a grimace at Jay before following the rest of the guys outside to the bikes. Austin took a seat next to Jay.

"I swear, this is like a bad fucking soap opera. What do you think D is going to do to T?" Austin asked.

"Fuck the anger out of her, than let her go on her mission while we all go on ours. I would bet a lot of money that T comes back to Florida with us." Jay answered.

"I fucking hope so, I don't know how they can stand this shit, I would go fucking crazy living here. I know that D wont transfer if this is the drama he has to put up with, and I don't think he plans on giving T up either."

"Nope, he wont. Too many people around here already don't like him because of T, he'll probably convince her to stay in Florida when she goes back to get her car." Jay told him.

Jay and Austin looked towards the dorms when they heard someone banging on a door. They looked at each other and started laughing when they realized that it was the doctor bitch trying to get out. Sarah got up and walked towards the men. They made small talk about whats changed in their lives all the while ignoring Tara's screams and banging on the door, demanding to be let out. All three of them turned when they heard a loud bang. It was followed by a

"Shut the fuck up! I'm trying to fuck her brains out so she quits wanting to kill you, if you don't I'm letting her lose to finish the fucking job" D yelled at the door.

D walked back into his dorm room and slammed the door. Sarah, Jay and Austin all exchanged a look before laughing so hard they cried. D was dressed only in his boxers, and they were all sure that if Tara didn't shut up he wouldn't be able to hold her back. They all knew that he didn't care about everyone knowing his business. Shit he was dealing with a crazy T, and no one wanted to do that. Not even Hap and Koz and they had created that side of her. Piney called Jax, trying to explain what was happening but everyone in the clubhouse was laughing so hard, that Jax could only understand

"tara, T, D fucking and kill" out of pineys mouth.

Jax waited until he calmed down. Hanging up and walking back into the waiting room, all of the men looked at him as he started to crack up laughing.

"The fuck?" Hap asked, giving his VP a strange look.

Jax explained, not even really thinking about the consequences, all of the guys laughed even Koz and Hap. They knew how crazy T could get and they didn't envy him, but they were pissed that he was fucking her and now everyone knew. Everyone looked up as the doctor came in and explained prospects condition. He would be okay, none of the wounds were deep enough to cause damage, but should take it easy for awhile. They were keeping him over night. The men nodded before Clay and Jax went back to talk to him. The rest of the guys headed outside, they needed to get ready for the next part of the plan. Their part of the plan while T was handling Stall, they had to move onto the remaining LOAN member. It was time to take Zobelle down, after all Weston's guts were all over a bathroom wall.

Clay had organized it so that Hap and Koz ended up with D and one of the other Florida guys, they had to go to one of the main LOAN locations. Clay didn't realize the mistake he was making, and Jonny wasn't around to correct it. The guys figured that if the chance arrived it would be the perfect opportunity to show D just who's girl he was fucking with. After all Hap was serious when he said that if neither him or Koz could have her no one would. D had fucked with the wrong people. They wouldn't kill him, but a good ass whooping would be lesson enough. Than all they had to do was wait for him to fuck up, because he would. they would use that to get her back, the whole plan should be easy as hell or at least they hoped.


	11. Let me go

_**AN: this is my longest chapter ever. I wanted to break it apart but I couldn't do it, I wanted you guys to get the full effect of how close to a breakdown T really is and how she really feels about everything. Sorry if you don't like the direction I'm taking this but the story just kind of took me over and this is how it played out. I'm in love with this story and knowing that some of you guys are too makes me super freaking happy :) **_

_**Well Enjoy, and if you don't review I wont know what you think. If you hate it let me know but just please try to be nice about it. **_

_T and Gemma were leaving the diner when the bitch pulled them over. T told Gemma to call the guys and tell them that the plan was starting. T was on her own phone and had called Stalls boss. She put her phone on speaker phone on her lap, she already told Gemma to be on good behavior because this would work out better. Stall's boss had already talked to T before and knew that Stall was pushing it. It helped that T's father was good friends with him and all he had to do to make it all go away was catch her with something good. T rolled down her window as Stall approached. _

"_Well hello again my little smart biker whore, hows it going?" She asked T. It took a lot for the women in the car to keep quiet about it but they did because they needed Stall gone to move on to LOAN. _

"_Fine agent Stall thanks for asking, now what I can I do for you?" T asked. _

"_You and the biker queen can step out of the car, you are both under arrest." Stall said. T knew that there were no warrants on her or Gemma or any of the guys. She pulled all of that shit and the director had just told her that there was nothing new. Gemma was pissed_

"_What the hell do you mean?" Gemma demanded. _

"_Well since making Opie look like a rat didn't work and only ended up with Donna killed I figured that finding something stupid, and you set me up perfectly with that stunt earlier, or maybe stretching it a little bit might help. What with having the two of the main women who keep this club in line in jail and all. Don't worry you'll be out in a couple days but for now it will rattle their little cages." _

_T looked at Gemma and gave her a head nod, both women stepped out of the car and allowed her to cuff them and search them. T of course had nothing in the car but by this time Stall's boss had already heard that and booked a ticket to Charming. T left her phone on and he kept it recording. Stall did take her cell but didn't realize it was on. She kept talking trash and her boss just kept recording it. He was on the phone with Rosen the club's lawyer telling him that they would be out very fucking soon. He was on the private plane and on his way to Charming. T looked at Gemma and smiled. Gemma smiled back at her, the plan was going fucking perfectly. Now the LOAN dudes were all at the mercy of some very pissed of men, as long as the guys took care of their part this would all be over by the time they got out of jail. It was already getting dark and night was the perfect cover. The plan had been playing out perfectly, except for the thing with Tara and Abel. T could have lived without that drama, but shit happens and some women really cant handle the life. _

_They were only in the holding cells in the Charming PD for five hours before they were being released. ATF agent Jacobson, Stall's boss was freeing them from their cells with the promise that the ATF would be out of Charming by the end of the day and Stall would no longer be an officer. It helped some that the government was giving them a nice chunk for not suing them, since T had already filed a complaint against Stall for harassment, twice. _

_The two women walked out of the PD and lit a cigarette while they waited for the guys to show up. T opted to ride with Jax over Happy because she wasn't in the mood for that conversation. Little did she know that she would be having that conversation sooner then she would like. _

_While T and Gemma were in jail, Koz and Hap had allowed some LOAN guys to do a good number on D before killing them. He was lying on his bed in his dorm room when T got back. Everyone was preparing for telling T the news but they knew that there would be hell to pay when T saw D. Hap was really hoping that T would ride with him on the way back to the clubhouse from the PD so he could get a chance to talk to her before she shot him. Zeke had already been called and as one of the original 9 he was fucking livid and already on a plane out, he knew that Hap and Koz took longer to deal with the problem than they should have. Shit everyone did, and the fact that Koz and Hap thought that T wouldn't put two and two together was just wishful thinking on their part._

_T walked into the clubhouse and had a couple of shots before she noticed that D and the other Florida guys were nowhere to be seen. She leaned on the bar, _

"_Where the hell are the Florida guys?" She asked Bobby, who was behind the bar since Kip was still at the hospital. _

_Bobby looked down and poured her another shot, he wasn't going to be the one to tell her. Jonny said he would do it even though Hap or Koz should, but T would kill them before they could even finish. Jonny took the seat next to her with Jax on her other side, he knew that there was going to be hell to pay. _

"_Bobby pour her another shot yeah?" Jax said from her right side. She shot him a glare and pulled her gun, from Jonny's waist. _

"_Somebody better start fucking talking or I am going to shoot first and ask questions later." She said before slamming her shot._

"_There was a fight, D got cornered by some LOAN guys and got the shit beaten out of him. While we were out, he was on one side while the others guys were all on the other sides. Zeke is fucking livid and already on his way out here. No need to shoot anyone they are all fine and with D in his room." Jonny told her. Jonny wanted to ask for his gun back, but he knew that would piss T off even more. So he just let her hold it and prayed that she didn't shot him first or at all._

_T knew her cousin, and she knew he wasn't telling her everything, there was more to it, she could tell. It didn't take her long to figure it out. She looked at Jonny_

"_I see, and the guys he was with wouldn't of happened to been Koz and Hap, and my guess would be Austin would it?" She asked and the whole room froze. Koz and Hap stood at the back. Regretting that they had taught her so well, but also so fucking proud that she knew her shit._

"_That was all just a coincidence T, come on we are family here and we don't hurt family." Tig said from Jax's other side. _

_T knew though, she knew and she was fucking livid. She motioned to her shot glass and Bobby poured her two more before she moved. She stood up and walked towards the hallway, everyone thought they were in the clear before they heard the shots. Two shots rang out, one coming close to Koz and one coming close to Hap. They all knew that if she wanted them dead they would be consequences be damned. She looked at Tig. _

"_This family is fucked up, you know that Tig, you know that well. We all know that." She turned to Hap and Koz. "I bet zeke has your fucking patches for this shit you assholes, I know that you did this. Everyone knows that you did this even though you guys took the time, and found the guys to lay blame for this on or maybe you say a golden opportunity. If he would have died, those shots wouldn't of missed." _

_She walked over to the two men and stood in front of them. When they looked at her, they didn't see the killer they had created they saw the girl she had been when she got out of Juvie. She spoke to them in a quiet sad voice, and it broke their hearts to hear it_

"_Let me go guys, please let me go. Let me be happy. I need to fix this, I need someone to love me to care for me, to respect me. Please I need him. Me, I am asking you guys for this, I have never asked for anything. Please for once think of me, of what I need, of what I want." T walked away then, Leaving the whole room speechless, most of them didn't catch what she said. She had said it for them only, but everyone could read the broken expression on her face._

_No one knew just how lost she was, and they still didn't but at that moment Hap and Koz understood and even thought they didn't like it and it hurt their pride they knew that it was time to let her go. She needed him, not them. She had left her back open to them, and they knew in that moment they could kill her, she was giving them the choice but they wouldn't even though she threatened them. They loved her too much and they had already caused her enough damage. Some of it could never be fixed._

_Jay and Austin were standing in the hallway. They ran out when they heard the gun shots and they had seen the whole show. They let T pass, each giving her a pat. She tried to be strong as she walked into D's room, but D could see through it. He held his arms open and she climbed into them. It was the first time since her first kill that she had cried and even then she hadn't done it in front of anyone. D just held her until she got it all out and finally fell asleep. Jay and Austin came back in the room and told him what happened. D nodded throughout the whole story, kissing T's head every now and again. She didn't even stir. D had never seen her sleep like that. T was a light sleeper, but right now she was so far gone that he didn't think anything could wake her up. _

_D nodded as Jay and Austin told him it was time for them to go and get Zeke. After they left Jonny came in. He stroked her hair and was surprised that she didn't stir. _

"_I haven't seen her sleep like that since before she went to juive. I saw that girl you told me about today. We all did and I think that Koz and Hap finally see all of the shit she has been keeping bottled up." _

_Jonny noticed that her eyes were slightly swollen from crying _

"_And I haven't seen her cry since before then either. Take care of her brother, I am leaving her in your hands and I don't think she could of found a better man. Your not a softy but you care and you don't make her feel like less then what she is. You love her for who she is, all of her. Not just the confident killer but the sweet woman and the lost girl. you love her even though she is complex and crazy and stubborn. Those are the reasons that you love her the most." Jonny added. _

_D nodded and added "You forgot amazing and beautiful." _

_Jonny laughed and kissed T's head and left the room. He locked the door on his way out. No one needed to fuck with them. He knew that Zeke would want to talk to him, but he knew that it would be okay to wait. T had all the Florida guys wrapped around her finger. She was like that though, everyone loved her or hated her. It seemed to Jonny that T had found the perfect balance while in Florida of being the killer she now is and the woman she wants to be. Jonny was proud of her then and pissed at himself and the Charming guys because they needed her and had brought her back. Being back here destroyed the balance that she had created. Hopefully D could help her get it back._

Zeke walked into the Charming clubhouse and was greeted by all the men. Ronnie had tagged along, she wanted to see Sarah and the kids, and to be there for T. After all they were all pretty damn sure T would be making Florida her permanent residence. Sarah and Ronnie hugged, while Jonny, Clay and Zeke all entered the chapel. The three presidents sat down, none of them talking. Technically, nothing could be proved that Hap and Koz had pulled that stunt, but they all knew they did. Zeke was within his rights to ask for punishment for this, but Zeke wasn't even sure what he was going to do about it yet. He still had to talk to D and see what he said. This was going to ride on his head, and knowing D he would just let it go. After all D got the girl, even after all the bullshit.

"Real sorry about this Zeke, Hap swears that this was all just a freak coincidence. Said that him and Koz wanted to do something, they wont deny that but the LOAN fuckers ended up doing it instead." Clay told him.

Zeke looked at him long and hard before turning and looking at Jonny. Jonny was shaking his head. "Tacoma and Koz will take whatever punishment you see fit. We all know, that if LOAN wouldn't of beaten them too it, they would of done it themselves. I feel responsible for this, after all most of this is because of my cousin." Jonny said, holding his head high.

"Damn straight, the bitch might have good plans and be a good killer but other than that she's brought nothing but fucking drama" Clay said.

Zeke and Jonny both looked at him, before Jonny could say anything Zeke spoke up.

"Don't matter pretty sure that T is coming to Florida, shit I might just force her too because that way she will at least be respected. You need to get with the times Clay, your stuck in the old school. We all know that Donna's death is on your hands, and I'm kind of wanting to get the heads together and get you out of President and give it to your VP, but you wont be able to ride for much longer, so how about you just make sure your VP knows his shit for when his time comes and try not to destroy this club anymore. After all this is the motherhood club, and you need to set an example. I still got to talk to D but I think that this is all going to just lay where its at. I want T though, and once she's in Florida she wont be coming back to do any work for you guys. You need something it needs to go through me." Zeke said leaning back in his chair.

Clay was pissed but he knew that Zeke was dead fucking serious so he thought it best to just keep his mouth shut. Jonny looked at Zeke

'fine but I will call her whenever I want. If I need a club favor I will talk to you first but shes my little sister first and I've already fucked up enough. I wont lose her anymore than I already have." Jonny stated

Zeke eyed him. "I would expect nothing less from you. Club favors through me, otherwise your free to talk to her when ever you want. I'm pretty sure that we are all in agreement. Now I need to talk to my guys and T because we got plane tickets out of here in two days. Now that your problems are all fixed I can take my boys back." Zeke said standing up and walking out of the room.

Clay looked at Jonny, but Jonny didn't even spare him a second glance. Jonny left the room, leaving Clay to think through shit on his own. Zeke was walking down the hall, as Jonny walked out. Jonny walked towards Sarah and pulled her close.

"I'm losing my sister huh?" Sarah asked.

Jonny just nodded, "Looks that way, but I think that the rest of the shit will just die here."

Sarah nodded. Jonny was surprised that she wasn't crying. He looked at her question fully.

"I knew that she would go, I mean if she wants too. She needs out of here and it hurts but for once I'm really putting her happiness and wants and needs before mine. We fucked up Jonny. This is the only way I can think of to make it right. Besides T might not even do it. After all she wont want to leave her girls, me and the kids."

Jonny didn't say anything, he just held her tighter. For now he would let her have hope, but Jonny had already made peace with it. T needed to be away from them, she was looking for something and she found it, in D and in Florida. Jonny wasn't above shoving her ass on the plane if need be. Tacoma would always be her home, she could come back whenever she wanted.

Jay let Zeke into the dorm room where D and T were. He took a seat in the chair beside the bed. T shot him a smile and went to leave. They had club business to discuss, but Zeke stopped her.

"Nope you need to be a part of this conversation too doll." He told her.

T sat back down on the bed.

"so what do we want to do?" Zeke asked D.

"Nothing, it was an accident. Let it go." D told him.

Zeke nodded "What about you princess? What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Not kill them obviously, but I haven't thought past that really." She said

"I want you in Florida" Zeke told her.

T just looked at him, "What the fuck?" She asked

"I want you in Florida" Zeke repeated.

"Again, what the fuck? I don't just fucking go where people tell me too, I don't fucking belong to this damn club." T told him back.

D tried to wrap his arm around her but she shoved it off.

"Don't matter, Jonny approved of it. Your coming to Florida, it will be better for you" Zeke told her again.

T shook her head and stood up. She looked at D for a moment and when he didn't say anything she shook her head.

"I don't give a fuck. Fuck you, Fuck Jonny and fuck what you think" T told them and left the room.

D looked at his president. "Please fucking tell me that you did not just make her seem like a fucking object that just got traded."

"I didn't" Zeke told him and in his eyes he didn't, but he was sure that he probably should of left this to D or Jonny. T was pissed now and that never ended up good for anyone, ever.

D shook his head, so much for getting her to move to Florida, after that they would be lucky if they could find her now.

T walked out of the dorm room, she walked into the next one and grabbed her bag. Jay and Austin tried to grab her as she walked past. Jonny was standing at the end of the hallway. He knew the minute he heard the door slam open that things didn't go well and now he figured he would have to shove her on a plane. She walked right up to him and smacked him, then shoved him aside and stormed out of the clubhouse. Jonny following her, Jay and Austin close behind. Lucky for her the gates were still open and all of the guys were inside. She climbed in her car and started it up. She locked the doors, ignoring the guys as they surrounded the car. T backed it up and Jay had just enough time to jump out of the way before she hit him. None of the guys thought that she would actually hit them, but she proved at that moment she didn't give a fuck.

T sped out of the lot, calling her girls as she pulled out of Charming and onto the highway.

"Meet me at the bar, half an hour." T said before hanging up on Lonnie.

Lonnie called Marcy,

"Something bad happened, grab the extra bags girl I think that we are going on a trip." Lonnie said not even bother with Hello or anything.

"Right, so when do we meet?" Marcy asked.

" T said half an hour, I'm going to head out soon though. We need to talk before she gets there. She's running for real this time." Lonnie said

"Okay meet you there in twenty." Marcy said and hung up. Marcy threw all her stuff into her bag and headed out to her car. Twenty minutes later she pulled up to the bar. Lonnie was already there, so she headed in to find her.

"So, damage control huh? Sarah will be calling soon." Marcy said right as her phone rang. Sarah's name coming up on the ID, "Speak of the devil."

"Answer, you haven't heard from T yet." Lonnie told her. Marcy nodded and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Marcy said faking drunk.

"Hey Marcy, you hear from T?" Sarah asked

"Nope, just out with Lonnie. Why something bad happen?" Marcy asked.

"Umm… I'm not really sure whats going on. T stormed out of here a hour ago. Figured she would call you guys." Sarah said.

"Nope, but if I hear from her I will let you know, she'll probably be calling soon." Marcy replied

"Okay thanks, tell Lonnie to do the same please?" She asked

"No prob, call us when you find her okay?" Marcy added.

"I will, bye Marcy." Sarah said before hanging up.

Marcy and Lonnie shared a look, and T stormed in.

"I'm going to the spot, if you guys want your more than welcome to come." T said not even bothering to explain anything.

Marcy and Lonnie nodded and the girls got up and walked out.

"Sarah already called, they wont be far behind. Good thing we have everything already prepared and that we got to a bar none of them know about." Marcy called out to her as they all walked towards their cars.

"I'll explain once were on the fucking plane. Sorry about this guys." T said before climbing into her car and pulling out the lot. Marcy and Lonnie hot on her tail.

The girls pulled up to the airport and parked in long term parking. Lonnie and T meet Marcy at the back of her car. All of them pulling out their bags and heading in towards the airport. They turned their cells off and bought the first tickets they could to the Bahamas. They were in luck and one left an hour, with three seats only left. All in first class, T paid in cash and the girls headed for security.

Once the plane was safely in the air, T who was sitting in the middle started the story. She went from the time that her and D left the house all the way up to why she was leaving.

"We wouldn't have minded if you went to Florida, but I get why your pissed." Marcy said.

"What did D say?" Lonnie asked

"Nothing, he didn't say shit. Why do people treat me like a fucking object all the damn time? If they would have asked I probably would of went, but Zeke basically demanded that I come to Florida, and than Jonny saying that I had to go. I feel like I got traded so no one got in trouble for that shit Koz and Hap pulled. I don't give a fuck if he's family or not. I'm not a little fucking kid anymore, they cant just say your going Taylor that's final. What the fuck do I look like? I'm starting to wonder if there is a sign on my head that says treat me like shit, I enjoy it" T said before sliding back in her seat.

Marcy and Lonnie just looked at their best friend. She was all kinds of fucked up and they were worried about her. Nothing would happen to them, but T was breaking and she was breaking fast. They were confused, and they knew that T wouldn't stay gone long. Sure Zeke could of said it better because T was already in a fucked up place, but it wasn't as big of a demand as they usually make of her. Than again she was tired of people making demands in the first place. All three girls slept most of the way there, even T who never slept on planes. they woke up when it was time to put their seatbelts back on for landing.

After getting off the plane, getting a cab and checking in to their hotel room, they all turned their phones back on. Lonnie listened as Leroy demanded she call and tell him where she's at. Marcus left Marcy a message that was basically the same. The girls called their brother and told them that they were fine and they didn't know when they would be back, but told them that they were safe and yes T was with them. Lonnie and Leroy hung up right before Marcy and Marcus.

T didn't check her voicemail or read her texts. She looked to see who they were from, but didn't read them.

"You know they even had Ana text me. She's my serious weakness and they are trying to use her against me. That's so fucked up." T said.

Marcy and Lonnie stared at her as she threw her phone on the bed and paced around. Marcy opened her bag and pulled out her swimsuit.

"How about we go to the beach, it's the middle of the afternoon, its nice and I for one want to enjoy the sun." Marcy said.

T looked at her and smiled before digging out her own. The girls all changed and headed out, leaving their cell phones and the drama in the hotel room.

D hung up after calling T for the twentieth time, not even bothering to leave a message that time. Jonny came in and looked at him.

"Just got word from Leroy, Lonnie, Marcy and T are all together and fine. He doesn't know where they are but he's pretty sure they left the country. Juice and Austin pull up the records and see if you can figure out where they went" Jonny said before putting his arm around Sarah.

Ana was sitting next to her mom, not saying anything. "Whats up kiddo?" Ronnie asked her.

Ana looked at her, than her mom and dad, before looking at everyone else.

"Why do you guys keep doing this to her?" Ana asked

Everyone in the room was quiet and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Ronnie asked the girl.

"I know what she does, she talks to me and she told me. She told me when she came back and I asked her why she left. She said no one sees her as a person anymore. Just an object to be used and traded. So why? Why do you keep making her leave?" Ana asked

"I don't think you really understand babe" Jonny told his daughter.

Ana looked at him

"What that she kills people, or that you guys treat her like a toy." She asked.

Everyones head shot towards her. "T told you that?" Jonny asked

"Yep, I told her that I would always want to be like her unless she killed people, and she told me that was exactly what she did. She said to never become her, that if I did I would be at the mercy of the club instead of myself. She said that I should find a nice son to settle down with and become an old lady. She said that they get more respect and get treated better than she does. I asked her why she doesn't become an old lady and she said that she might, but for now she is what she is." Ana told them, angry tears running down her face.

"That's not exactly true baby" Sarah said trying to pull her into a hug but Ana pushed her away. "I know it is because you guys even had me call her for you. She'll come home when she's ready and I hope that when she does she takes me with her if she leaves again, I hate it here without her. I miss her, I love her, why cant you guys?" Ana asked before storming out of the room and slamming the door to her dorm.

Sarah and Jonny shared a look, Sarah went to go after her but Ronnie stopped her.

"Let her go, she just learned that her role model isn't as perfect as she thought she was, she thought that T had a good life and T shattered that dream because she would rather have Ana hate her than become her. T knew what she was doing, just like when you were younger I knew stuff your mom didnt. T knows stuff about Ana that you don't. Let her deal with that, besides she has a point, we all say we love her but look at how we treat her." Ronnie said.

Sarah took her seat back at Jonny. "I love her, I don't treat her like that."

"Didn't you say you were putting her wants and needs first for once? But right after that you said she probably wouldn't leave you and the kids and her friends behind. That isn't putting her first, that's having hope she wont leave you, that she wont put her own needs first but yours." Ronnie told her. Than turned to Jonny

"you and Zeke had no right to assume she would go along with what you wanted, that you could demand that of her. She's not something to be traded because you don't want wrath to fall upon your club. She's a person and she should have been asked to go to Florida not told." Ronnie finished.

"What about me? Why is she pissed at me, I didn't even say anything." D asked

"That's the point, you want her to be your old lady but you let Zeke tell her instead of asking her yourself. You didn't stick up for her, she gave you a chance. She looked to you and you didn't say shit. We are all at fault and we need to let her go. When she's ready she will come back. Until than, we have to let her clear her head and let her girls help her figure shit out. You hurt her D, and now she probably thinks your no better than Hap and Koz. When she comes home, treat her like a fucking person for gods sakes and act right or we will all lose her." Ronnie said before leaving the room.

Everyone was quiet after Ronnie's speech. No one had ever pointed out their faults like that. Jonny had just assumed T was already planning on heading to Florida because of D, but he did make it seem like a trade. He realized than that they all treated her like property not a person. He just told her what he needed her to do and she did it, he didn't really ask. He had been taking her for granted because of why she started in the first place. She did if for the people she loved, she didn't ask for them to acknowledge it, or to be thankful for it and after awhile they just used her to their advantage. The only time she stood up was when it came to her girls or Ana. No one fucked with them, you could say or do what you wanted to her, but not to them. To fuck with them was like asking for her to kill you.

D sat at the bar, drinking as much as he could. They would be leaving for Florida tomorrow and he could only hope that T would call him soon or Jonny would call when he talked to her. D was worried and pissed and so many other emotions all at once that he felt like he was stuck on a downward spiral to insanity and fast. He had liked girls and even loved a few but what he felt for them was grey compared to the color of his feelings toward T. He barely even had her and he had already lost her. He was stupid, he should of just asked her instead of waiting for her or someone else to bring it up. He really was no better than Koz and Hap if he didn't stand by her but instead demanded stuff and let others use her.

Zeke didn't say anything, Ronnie had already told him off and she was hardly speaking to him. Zeke realized that he fucked up but he was trying to do what was best for her. He realized that sometimes he forgets that she's a grown up with no real relation to him. T wasn't his daughter even if he looked at her like one, and for most of her life she has been told what to do and just went with it. T was a killer, she had been trained but she had more than paid her debt to the club, she killed many but she wasn't a member of the club. Her father sent her to Jonny when she got too out of control where she had to live with the rules of the club, than she went to juive and had to obey the rules there. After she got out she followed Hap and Koz and became who they wanted, she did what the club told her too, and she quit doing shit for herself. Sure T had never been normal but she wasn't heartless either no matter how hard she tried to kill her emotions.

Ana sat in the room she was using at the clubhouse, they would be headed back for Tacoma tomorrow when the Florida guys left. She was more than ready to go home and be in her own room, with her own things. She would think better and feel better. Sure Ana was mad that the one person she looked up to did bad things, even horrible things but still that was her aunt and her favorite person in the whole world. No one understood her like T did and no one made her as happy or feel as safe as T.T was her best friend, and without her around she felt lost. She didn't want her to move to Florida, but she didn't want to see her sad anymore. Ana always tried to over look the obvious, but she saw the light die in her aunts eyes. It had gotten to the point where they hardly sparkled even when they were directed at her or her brother. Ana, knew that her aunt wasn't the same as she used to be, but that didn't make Ana love her any less. Picking up her phone Ana did the trick that T had taught her, that if she really needed her to call, text and than call again. So that was what Ana did, she was surprised when T answered the phone.

"Hey baby girl" T said

"Hi auntie" Ana responded

"Hows it going?"

"Well, everyone freaked out, Ronnie yelled at everyone after I asked them why if I could love you they couldn't, I came into my room. The Florida people leave tomorrow and we are headed back to Tacoma tomorrow too. I miss you."

T was sad, she could hear the tears in Ana's voice even though she knew that Ana was trying to be strong and not cry, because T never did.

"I miss you too babe. Its okay to cry you know. I promise I wont tell." T told her niece, tears streaming down her own face.

"I told them that I wouldn't let them use me to get a hold of you, I wont even tell them I called and you answered if you don't want. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and that you knew that I love you and I miss you and I cant wait for you to come home."

"Oh baby, I know that you love me, and I love you too. I miss you so much, and I promise that I will always answer your calls, you can call me whenever you want. You can tell them that you called if you want to, and that we talked I don't mind. I'm sorry that you are stuck in the middle of this. When I do come home, I promise you that we will do something, whatever you want. Just you and me, thanks for sticking up to them for me, but be good okay? I will call you tomorrow okay. I love you, give your brother a kiss for me?"

"I will, I love you too. Promise to call tomorrow?"

"I promise baby girl"

"Bye auntie"

"Bye baby"

Ana hung up and walked out of the room, everyone stared at her. She walked up to her brother and picked him up. Not paying attention to the fact that everyone was watching. Ana kissed him and rubbed his head in a very T jester.

"Your auntie said that she loves you." Ana said

"Auntie?" Junior asked

Ana nodded and set him back down. D had approached the pair.

"So you talked to her?" He asked Ana

"Yep, she said that she's fine and that she loves me and junior." Ana said vaguely.

"That's it?" Jonny asked his daughter.

"Pretty much. I didn't ask where she was, and she didn't tell." Ana replied and took a seat on the couch, looking at her cell phone.

"So she didn't say when she's coming home?" D asked

"Nope" Ana said popping the p.

"Oh" D said before picking up his own cell and dialing T, even though he knew that it was a wasted effort. Ana was the only one who mattered to her anymore and D couldn't even be mad at her for it.

Hap and Koz watched the group from the pool table, they had almost made it to the point of letting her go but this shit just stirred up a whole lot of anger for them. Hap stepped outside and dialed T, not expecting her to answer so when he heard her say

"Hello Happy."

He was shocked, and it took him a moment to say anything.

"What's up killer?" He finally asked.

"Oh just the usual, ya know?" She replied easily.

"So your good than?" He asked

"I don't think good would be a term I would use, more like pissed off, hurt and betrayed but I don't think that there is a word that describes all that."

Hap laughed, even though she was pissed she was still a smart ass.

"So, any idea when you plan on coming home because you know running doesn't suit you."

"Yeah well, for now its all I got. I have never been one for drama Hap, and that's about all there is in my life right now. I could probably tell you what's going on right now without having to be there."

"I don't know about all that." Hap said, daring her wanting to keep her on the line for juice to trace.

"Ana is sitting on a couch upset, she probably told everyone that when I come home she wants to live with me. D is at a bar getting drunk, you and Koz are trying to come up with a plan to get me home or figure out where I am and how to drag me back. Sarah has probably been crying since Ana said that, and Jonny is trying to figure out where he fucked up and how to fix it."

Hap didn't say anything because she hit it right on the head.

"So how did I do? And I know your tracing this call, but don't worry I wont be gone for long. Just long enough to not want to kill someone. I honestly miss my bed and the girls want to get back and deal with their brothers plus they have jobs to start and shit."

Hap shot a look at Juice who had been tracing the call and mouthed Bahamas.

"Yep your right, so how is the Bahamas?" he asked

"Lovely, no drama, no fights, no killing but after my call from Ana I realize that I have to come home and face real life soon, before you guys come and find me. Beside my baby girl needs me and I have never been one to leave her on her own."

"Okay"

"Yep, bye Hap tell them all that I said they you all can go fuck yourselves, I'll be home soon."

Hap looked at the phone after she hung up. Walking over to Jonny he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Just talked to her, she said that we can all go fuck ourselves. She's in the Bahamas and she'll be home soon. My guess is a couple days. Said the girls got lives to get back to and that her baby girl needs her." Hap told them all

D was pissed, she answered Hap's call but wouldn't answer his. Hap shot him a smirk and walked back over to Koz. D slammed another shot, he was almost drunk but he needed more, he needed to drink until he passed out or he would end up hitting something or someone.

T was lying in her bed, Lonnie and Marcy were sleeping. They had bought their tickets to back home, they would leave in two days. They all knew that they wouldn't be gone long, just long enough to clear her head so they didn't even bother changing their job interviews, T wasn't ready to go back but of course because she put everyone's needs first, so she would. Besides if she didn't they would all come looking for her, and she didn't want that. She wanted peace and quiet, time to clear her head and figure out the next move. T looked through all her texts, and even though she really wanted to reply to D's she didn't. She knew that she should call him, so quietly climbing out of bed and heading outside she dialed the number. She could tell when he answered that he was drunk, but she had to do this.

"Baby I am so sorry."

"I know you are D"

"Please just come to Florida, I promise we will have our own house we can make our own babies and you can be my old lady."

" Your drunk"

"Yeah and you answered Happy's call but not mine, what the fuck?" He asked

"Look, I don't think its going to work out D. I thought you were different but now I don't know." She told him honestly.

D stared at his phone, did she really just fucking tell him that. He was drunk and pissed and he knew that he should just hang up but he was too drunk to think rationally.

"The fuck? Was I just a fuck to piss them off? You know what, fuck you. You're a fucking bitch and a whore and I cant fucking stand you. You probably did fuck them. Whatever I'm done. I'll be back in Florida tomorrow. Without you and I cant wait to fuck the first sweet butt I see, actually I think I will go find one right now." D said and than hung up.

T looked at the phone. She wasn't surprised that he said that shit, but what did surprise her was that it hurt, and it hurt bad. T just stared at the phone as it started to ring again. She didn't even realize that she had been sitting there for twenty minutes. To hell with it she thought, they all already know where I am, so she answered it

"Yep" she answered

"Hey baby girl. I just talked to D. I heard him yelling some pretty nasty things in the phone. Wasn't hard to convince him to tell me that it was you he was talking too and why he said it." Ronnie said

T sighed "Yeah, doesn't surprise me either."

"You hurt him you know? I know that he hurt you but are you sure that your willing to give him up?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure about shit. I'm pissed the fuck off, and I'm hurt. I'm really fucking confused because I expected what he said and worse but I didn't think it would hurt as much." T said truthfully.

"You give a fuck. You let yourself feel something good for once, backing out now is only hurting both of you. I think that you should come home and talk with Jonny and stuff and than come to Florida. You too love each other after such a short time and being apart isn't doing either one of you any good."

"I really don't know Ronnie. I don't know if I can handle that or him, shit I know that Koz and Hap are never going to back down now and the only real reason I am coming back is Ana."

"Well you think about it baby. There is always going to be a place in Florida for you if you want it. Everyone is sorry that they hurt you, and I think that they are starting to realize their mistakes."

"I don't know Ronnie, I really don't know. I'll be home in a couple days. I know that you guys will already be gone but thank you for your help and I hope that your right. For once I was actually happy and had hopes to live as normal a life as you can when in this club, and now I have no fucking clue where I am headed."

"You'll figure it out babe, and if you do decide Florida is right for you, you don't have to be with D. Hell you don't even have to be around the club. I'll be there for you the whole time, if you need me call. Just do whatever feels right to you."

Ronnie hung up and went back into D's room. D had destroyed a shit load of stuff in his anger, and though they were faint Ronnie could see where the tears had run down his face.

"You know that your going to have to pay for this right?" Ronnie asked in a joking tone.

D turned around and looked at her.

"Yeah, I know." He replied plopping down on the bed.

"She'll come around, but those words you said hurt her. I don't care how she plays it off I know that they did. She even admitted to me. She was expecting those words to come from you but she wasn't expecting the pain that followed. You two are right for each other, just like Zeke and me or Sarah and Jonny or even Clay and Gemma. Have faith it will work itself out, but wrecking shit and drinking yourself into a coma wont help. We leave tomorrow, when we get home got to your house clean it and fix it. I give it two months tops until you two are back together. A pull like yours is too hard to ignore for any longer than that. I was a lot like her when I was that age and I didn't agree with a lot of stuff, and when I meet Zeke, I ran for it. After one fuck up I ran because I was too afraid of getting hurt. Two months later we were back together in our own place, happy as hell and getting ready to get married. It is what it is, your love will only die if you let it and even than it wont completely go away. Without her part of you will always be missing and the same goes for her." Ronnie stood up and patted his shoulder before leaving the room. Her words spinning around D's head, giving him a hope he wasn't sure he deserved.

_**Oh and check out my poll and vote! I want to know what all you people think and who you want T to end up with : )**_


	12. Happy's future

**AN: so I'm at a crossroad with who I want her to end up with, so you guys should totally let me know what you think, so far Hap is winning **** On another note, I picture my Mac like a version of Chibs and Bobby mixed together, personality wise not looks. He is the voice of reason when everyone else is going crazy! Well I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter, let me know if you have any questions : ) cant wait to hear what you think! Please review! Hap does something huge and sweet and I hope you like it because I know that I loved it when I came up with the idea and even though it could of turned out better but I still like it **** let me know how it is pretty please **

_**Oh and check out my poll and vote! I want to know what all you people think and who you want T to end up with : )**_

The trinity enjoyed their vacation. They went out to the bars at night and spent their days on the beach. T seemed better than when they arrived and the girls hoped she stayed that way. They weren't too sure that T was ready to come back, but they needed to get back. It made them feel guilty though because T was always putting everyone's needs before her own. It was something that they all took advantage of and until this recent breakdown, they hadn't noticed.

T was happy on the beach, listening to music with her girls and just relaxing. She knew she wasn't ready to go back but they left the next morning and she knew better than to run. After all running didn't look good on her and it didn't agree with her and this was the second time in a month she had been running. She was tired of running and she was tired of drama, but disappearing just wasn't an option. Not while Ana still needed her at least. T shook her head, she would have plenty of time to deal with that later for now she just wanted to enjoy her last day on the beach.

D had been quiet ever since his phone call with T. He hoped that Ronnie was right but he had a feeling that he majorly fucked up by what he said. D did what the club needed, he worked during the day and at night he would go to his house and work on it. Every night before going back to the clubhouse he would sit on the beach. He imagined T sitting there with him, walking through the house he envisioned T in all the rooms, in the kitchen big and pregnant, laying on the bed beneath him and even swinging on the porch with him while the kids played in the yard. Every time he stepped foot in the house he felt like a stake was being driven through his heart, but he needed to do it. Because if Ronnie was right, T would be back and they would need a place to live. She would be back eventually anyways because she needed to get her car, but D hoped that she would come back to stay.

He had started the repairs on the house, and a lot of work needed to be done. Yesterday when they landed D headed straight to the house to see what all needed to be done, and today he had stood watch while the Plummer did his work. Tomorrow the electrician would come and than he would move on to the other stuff. He would have to call Ronnie and have her call Sarah to figure out if T would like carpet or wood floors better, and what colors to paint the walls. He would leave the house empty, for T to decorate if she did come back.

Ana was excited that T was coming home, but she was bored. It was summer time and she usually spent most of her time with T. T had kept her promise and called her every day. Ana wished that she would of gotten to go with but she understood it was a split second decision and that she needed space. Ana had already decided where she did want to go though and T said as long as Jonny and Sarah said it was okay they would. Ana wanted to go to Florida with T to pick up her car, T said that they could stop anywhere she wanted too. Ana was excited because they would take as much time as they wanted coming back. As long as they were back before school started, Ana figured that they would leave at the beginning of August. Ana knew that the first place T would come would be to her house so she had already packed a bag. T would be home tomorrow and for Ana tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.

Marcy and Lonnie stared at T as they boarded the plane. She had already had her daily call with Ana and since hanging up she hadn't said anything. Marcy and Lonnie were even more worried when T still hadn't talked and they were half way home.

"You straight girl?" Lonnie asked

"I'm good" T responded in a monotone.

That tone made them worry even more. T was cutting off her feelings again, and that upset them. With D around T had been so much more like Tay that they had forgotten how she was when she was in killer mode. She was calm and her face showed nothing. They started to worry than that maybe three days had not been enough. Shit who were they kidding they knew that three days wasn't enough. They had failed her once again. Making them realize that they were no better than everyone else. Marcy and Lonnie shared a look.

"Too late to turn back now." Marcy whispered.

"Guess we will just have to see how this plays out." Lonnie answered.

Marcy nodded, but at that moment she wished she had made different choices.

Jonny paced around his living room nervously. Sarah sat at the couch looking at the door every so often. Jonny glanced at Koz and Hap. They had found out when her flight landed and showed up at Jonny's house twenty minutes before her plane landed. Jonny knew that Ana had already packed a bag and neither he or Sarah had the heart to tell her she couldn't go with T when ever she showed up. He knew that it wouldn't be worth the fight and after all the only real reason T was even coming back was because of Ana.

Jonny stopped pacing when he heard the car pull up. Everyone looked at the door, Jonny noticed Ana come out of her room from the corner of his eye. T didn't even knock she just walked in. They all watched Ana rush to T, giving her a hug while clutching to the bag in her hand. T glanced around the room quickly but looked back down at Ana with a huge smile.

"Baby, I got you something while I was gone. Why don't you go say goodbye to everyone?" T suggested. Ana picked up junior and gave him a kiss, before giving Jonny and Sarah hugs. She walked back towards T. Jonny watched her lean down and whisper something in Ana's ear, before handing her the car keys and heading out of the door. Junior looked up at T.

"Auntie" He screamed before running to her. T picked him up and kissed his head. She handed him a three cars. Junior kissed her before getting down and running to his room to play with his new toys.

"So whats up guys?" T asked once Junior had left the room. Sarah stood up and walked towards her. She reached out and gave her a hug.

"Welcome home." Sarah said.

T nodded in response. While looking straight at Jonny, Hap and Koz took a step forward.

"Look Ana is in the car, I just got off of a long ass flight and I don't really feel like having this fight right now. So can we just deal with this tomorrow or the next day. I will come by the shop after I drop Ana off." T told them all, looking pointedly at Hap and Koz.

Jonny walked forward and gave her a hug."What ever you want little sis. I'll see you soon."

T nodded "Later guys"

Koz watched T leave. She didn't even really acknowledge him or Hap, which pissed him off. Koz and Hap shared a look as she left. "Guess she still hates us" Koz said.

Jonny laughed, causing him and Hap to look towards him.

"That will never change. You guys fucked up way too many times and the shit with D was the last straw. She's only even back for Ana. She's done with the rest of us. We pushed and demanded and never gave anything in return. I don't blame her. We will all talk it out in a couple of days but I wouldn't count out Florida just yet. After all she does have to go back and get her baby." Jonny told them before holding open the door.

"So I will see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night."

Koz looked at him, but walked towards the door anyways. Shit he had thought that they made progress what with her answering Hap's call and all, but guess he thought wrong. Koz mounted his bike and pulled out of the driveway. The drive back to the clubhouse was short but Koz kept replaying everything he had ever been through with T. He realized that he really was a fucked up a person and that T just might not ever forgive him. He figured that in a couple days he would really know how she felt, but for now he would keep his hope. After all she was the fucking perfect match for him. Or Hap or really any SAA.

As Hap and Koz pulled into the clubhouse, Hap looked at Koz.

"At least we got a couple days before we really know how she feels and how much shit will actually change around here. I don't think we got much of a chance though." Hap said.

Koz nodded his head in agreement. Well theres always sweet butts he thought as he walked into the club house and saw Maria sitting at the bar, waiting for what he assumed was him.

T and Ana just hung out listening to music and watching movies, while talking about everything. Ana wondered what was going to change. T told Ana that a lot of shit might change but nothing would ever keep her away from Ana. Ana smiled at that, they went to bed early that night with plans to go to the mall the next day. Shopping movies and makeovers were always a good way to welcome change.

The mall with Ana had been fun. T was relaxed and she figured that now was as good of a time as any to have this talk with the guys. She needed to get it all out of her system and they needed to get it out of theirs before it exploded. Flipping her phone open she called Jonny.

"Hey, I'm going to drop Ana off an a hour. So you want to do this now?" T asked Jonny

"Yeah, I'll get the guys. See you soon little sis" Jonny said before hanging up

Jonny sat at his desk at the shop. His mind was whirling, he knew that they all needed to sit down and talk but he was hoping that by the time they did he would know what he wanted to say. He knew that he needed to apologize but after that he was at a loss. He wasn't sure what T was going to say. He knew that she wouldn't be leaving again anytime soon. Not while Ana was still on summer break at least. Ana was her number one priority and whatever she wanted came first, everyone knew that. Jonny realized that a whole lot of shit was about to change around there and he wasn't too sure if he was going to like it or not. T was a force to be reckoned with though, and no one would ever be going against her wishes again. Jonny typed out a quick text to the guys, this wasn't a whole club matter more like a Jonny, Koz and Happy matter. Jonny decided to text Mac too, after all the VP knew all the drama that had been going down lately. Mac had been telling Jonny for months that he needed to pull his head out of his ass before T flipped out. A broken killer is a danger to everyone, but mostly herself. You need to talk to her and fix this shit before it goes too far and no one can get her back, not even Ana. Jonny let Mac's words spin around his head, and he mentally slapped himself for never listening. Mac was smart and he saw shit no one else did. Jonny regretted not listening to him because he never wanted it to come to this. Jonny hated not knowing what was to come, he didn't want to lose her.

T walked into the clubhouse, stopping at the bar for a couple of shots and a beer. Jonny took the seat next to her.

"Just waiting on Koz and Hap, didn't think it needed to be a whole club meeting." Jonny told her.

T just nodded in response, motioning for two more shots. Jonny tapped her arm and nodded his head toward the chapel. T stood up and followed him in, Koz and Hap trailing behind her.

"So shits going to change around here huh?" Jonny asked.

T didn't say anything at first. She just looked at the men who used to mean the world to her. She was sad that they had broken her heart too many times to count.

"Running has never been my thing, and in the past month I've ran twice. I hate that I am at the point where I need to run away or kill someone. But I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of being used and bossed around and told where to go. I'm not an old lady and I don't wear a patch. On top of that I have more than paid my debt to this club in the past two years. I love being able to help you guys but you have taken it for granted and I have been letting you. I wont anymore. You want or need something, ask me and I mean with a please and a fucking thank you. You all say you love me and care about me and would be lost without me, but look at how you treat me. You wouldn't even treat a dog as bad as me. Shit you don't even treat the sweet butts as bad as me. Ana asked me why I hated this life when everyone respects me. The thing with that though is that no one respects me, they fear me. Sweet butts are afraid that they will end up in a ditch if they fuck with someone that they think I lay claims on. Most of the club members are afraid that I'll kill there ass if they say something wrong. Truthfully, maybe I would but fear doesn't equal respect in any shape way or form. You all want and expect respect from me, but where is mine?" T asked.

Jonny didn't say anything, and neither did the guys. T sat still, killer face in place. Her whole speech had been delivered in a monotone. Jonny was trying to think of the right words to say. He didn't even know how to explain how bad he felt.

"To be honest, I guess until recently I never really noticed that you hated your life. I never really paid attention to how much we took without giving back until Ronnie pointed it out. Maybe I just didn't want to see it. I didn't want to believe that I failed you as much as I have. I'm sorry you know. You're my little sister and I couldn't picture my life without you in it. You needed me and honestly I needed you too, I still do. Not because you're the best killer this club has seen, but because you are my best friend. You and me have always been close that's why when your dad called and asked me to take you in I did. I know how it feels to hate your parents, so I did everything I could to be your brother not your father. I fucked up in some serious ways letting you become a killer but I didn't have the heart to tell you no. I honestly hoped that you would give up or that these two would say no. I should of stopped all this drama way before I did. I let them treat you like that, and it was wrong. I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you for fucking your life up." Jonny said.

T nodded in response. Jonny knew it would take time but he hoped that they would be able to repair their relationship. Ever since they were younger, T had never been able to stay mad at him for long and he could never stay mad at her. All he ever really wanted was for her to be happy.

"Don't take all the blame on yourself. I chose this life, but I didn't think of all of the consequences. I just wanted to be with Koz or Hap. I thought that becoming like them, giving us something more in common would bring us closer but I was wrong. I didn't get what I wanted, I didn't even get close to it." T told him looking at Hap and Koz.

Jonny glanced at them, both were looking down or away. Jonny could read the guilt in their expressions. They all sat their quietly, waiting for someone else to say something.

Koz looked at T, playing out the words in his head. Even though he thought that they sounded good in his head, they would probably come out fucked up.

"I am sorry. I don't know what else I can say. I cant change the shit I have said and done. I regret some of them. I'm not a mind reader though so I had no clue what you wanted. If you would of came out and said that it wouldn't of went this route. I would of taught you to shot and if you really wanted to be like me I still would of taught you. I would of made you my old lady first though. If I could go back and change shit, I would, we all would. But we cant we just have to make do with what he have left. I get why your mad and it sucks that you feel that way, but no one can change overnight. I will try though."

T stared at him. She didn't blink or change her expression. Even her eyes were dead, something neither he or Hap could do. After what felt like forever, T nodded at him. Sitting quietly for a couple minutes waiting for Hap to say something, T decided that she was wasting her time and stood up. All of the men looked at her.

"You and Sarah need to talk. Ana wants to come with me when I go to get my car in Florida. I told her its fine with me as long as you guys agree. I told her we can stop where ever she wants on the way back. You guys talk about it and let me know. I want to leave the 1st of August." T told Jonny.

T grabbed her purse and walked out of the room. She smiled as Mac approached her. The pair walked outside and sat on the table.

"No more running baby girl." Mac told her, before he lit is cigarette.

"No more running" T agreed, putting her own cigarette to her mouth and accepting a light from Mac.

They smoked quietly for a while, before Mac spoke again

"Zeke and Jonny, they weren't really trying to boss you around with the Florida thing ya know. They all thought you would be going there anyways. Zeke looks at you like a daughter and he just wants whats best for you. And your Jonny's little sister, even though he has a fucked up way of showing it. He is and was trying to do whats going to make you the happiest. D did that, he took away some of your demons. You smiled, you laughed, you looked like you were living life again. Not just the killer life, but like you found a balance finally. We have all been trying to get you to that point and D did it in under a week. Marcy and Lonnie said he had you calmed down in five minutes where it takes them, Sarah and us hours to get you back down." Mac said giving her a side glance.

T turned and looked at him.

"You know it's a good thing that your VP because you see the shit that everyone always misses." T told him.

"So do you, we're a lot alike you know. People take us for granted but we never give up trying. Better to live life trying and learning, than to crawl under a rock and hiding when shit gets tough. You'll figure it out."

T just shot him a smile.

"Oh and Hap will come around, you know how he is. Talking really isn't his thing, and its even harder when there's a shit load of people around. He told Glen and Clay he's going to be sticking around Tacoma for a little bit longer."

"Glen? I thought he patched into Charming?" T asked

"Not yet, soon probably but with all the drama going on down there I think hes waiting for it to calm down a little bit. Besides he still has to fix shit with you. No idea what he's planning but I know that he never leaves shit unfinished." Mac replied.

T just nodded. Mac laughed at the look on her face. He knew she wasn't really that keen on being around Hap or Koz any more than need be but Mac was sure that Hap has something up his sleeve, the crazy fucker always did.

T hopped off the table and gave Mac a hug before heading for her car. T didn't even notice the tablet sitting on her passenger seat until she got home. She grabbed her purse and noticed it was sitting on, what looked like a drawing book. T picked it up and examined it. She decided that she wasn't sure if she was ready to look at it yet. She had a feeling that she knew who it belonged too, and she wasn't sure she wanted to go down that path yet. She climbed out of the car and took the stairs two at a time to the door. Walking into the house Marcy and Lonnie were sitting on the couch, in their pajamas.

"Come on Tay! Girls night in! Go get changed!" Lonnie yelled at her.

T laughed and walked through the kitchen towards her bedroom. She threw the drawing book and her purse on her bed. Before walking to her dresser and pulling out her PJ's. After changing she walked back towards the living room and took the middle spot. A bottle of walker already on the table, T poured a shot and slammed it before leaning back onto the couch.

"What's the occasion?" She asked

"We both got our jobs. Start next week!" Lonnie squealed

T and Marcy both laughed at her. Lonnie always squealed when she was excited.

"You going to start looking for a job now T?" Lonnie asked.

T thought for a moment before shaking her head.

"Got plenty of money saved up, maybe when Ana goes back to school. Besides I still got shit to deal with, whenever I get a job I want to walk into it as drama free as possible." T replied

"Talk didn't go so well huh?" Marcy asked with concern.

"Well it went okay. Jonny feels really shitty and Koz even feels bad. Hap didn't say anything at all but I didn't really expect him to and Mac put some shit in prospective for me."

"Mac is a smart dude. He sees everything. He'll make a good pres someday." Marcy told her.

"Yeah he will." T agreed.

They spent the rest of the rest of the night getting drunk and watching movies. T climbed into bed at four in the morning. She laid there for twenty minutes before curiosity got the best of her and she flipped on the bedside table lamp. She picked up Hap's book and flipped it open to the first page. It was a picture of her, dated a few weeks before she went to juive. The next page, was of her the day she got out sitting in the clubhouse a huge smile on her face. The next page was of the first time she went shooting with Hap. He captured the look of concentration on her face perfectly. She looked so relaxed. Flipping through the book, it was all pictures of her. She stopped at a picture of her that was in the middle of book. It was a picture of her, from what looked like the first time she went to Charming. She looked closely, and Hap had even captured the lack of emotion in her eyes. She stared at that picture for a long time before she went back to flipping through more of pictures. She stopped again at a picture that looked to represent the day she came home from the Bahamas, of her talking to Ana. T really liked that one. She loved how he seemed to capture how she was feeling at that moment. The way she looked at Ana, and it made her wonder if that was how she always looked at her. There was a picture of T in what looked to be a wedding dress, she looked beautiful. T couldn't get over the detail that Hap had drawn. There was a drawing of her with a big round belly, her holding a baby, another one of her pregnant while talking to a little boy who looked like a mix between her and Happy. She kept flipping pages and she realized that Hap had drawn what her life was, is and what he had wanted it to be like. The second to last page was a huge drawn out crow, it was very detailed and it looked like it would take forever to tat. She could tell that it was Hap's crow, the gun with the happy face all screamed Happy. The last page was a letter,

_Tay,_

_I started drawing these a long ass time ago. This is how I see you, this is what I saw when I thought of the future. Now when I look to the future all I see is black wide open space. From the first time I laid eyes on you I saw this, and now you have seen it. No one has ever seen this book except for you. I suck with words and explaining how I feel, shit sometimes I even suck at showing it. I know that this future is gone, but I thought that the only way to explain that I really do love you was to show you this. Take the pictures that you really want from it and when your down with it, I would like to have it back. Its nice to pretend that I had this, instead of facing the reality that my future is now consumed with darkness. This is still your future, with someone. _

_I love you and I'm sorry that I didn't give you what you wanted. _

_Happy _

T put the book down and let the tears fall down her face. Placing the book gently back on her night stand she turned the lamp off and leaned back into her pillows. Maybe she wasn't as good at reading people as she thought. Hap really did love her, his drawings showed her that. All of them were dated, and most of them were dated before all of this drama went down. Closing her eyes, she realized that love wasn't always as easy to show as she thought. Thinking of the pictures in her mind, one kept popping up. She remembered that day. She was sitting on Happy's bike watching his shoot at the paper targets. The look of love in her eyes was clear as the sun on a bright day. T couldn't help but wonder when life had gotten so fucked up. She kept trying to pin point a day, a week, or a month but she couldn't. She knew that she had changed while everyone else had stayed the same. Maybe it wasn't that they didn't love her, but that she had quit loving them. Searching around she looked for the love she had for him, it was still there but it had faded and was mixed with a whole hell of a lot of hate. T realized that after seeing what he really did, and doing that shit with him it changed her feelings. She didn't worship him, she pitied him because she hated herself and she figured that if she hated herself so much after one kill, that Hap had to really hate himself. It took her a really long time and a lot of kills to see that Hap didn't hate himself, that just like her in some sick, twisted and horribly disgusting way, she enjoyed it. She liked knowing that she could keep the people that she loved safe, that if something ever happened she would be able to protect them and herself. T closed her eyes, and let sleep take her over all of the pictures Hap had drawn showed up in her dreams. She saw them as a movie with colors and everything, the future she had never even dreamed of but now wanted more than anything.

Happy still hadn't said anything, and T had been gone for hours. Mac took a seat next to him. Mac watched the killer, and he could tell that even though he hadn't spoken up in the room with the guys when they had their talk with T, he had already made his move.

"Give it some time killer, she'll come around." he said

Hap looked at him for a long time before speaking

"I have no clue if I did the right thing or not. I guess I just have to wait it out and see." Hap replied.

Mac nodded. He didn't know what Hap had done, and he didn't need to. He could see the stress written all over him. Happy was a calm man, who did what he needed for the club and the people he loved. That was why he went nomad in the first place. So he could be closer to his mom, Glen and Clay let him spend a lot of time in Charming which was way closer to his mom's nursing home than Tacoma. Mac had watched Hap agonize over that decision for a long time, leaving Tacoma meant leaving T. That was when Hap and Koz had pulled that tat stunt. Hap had told Mac that he wanted to make sure that everyone knew she was spoken for even if he wasn't around. Mac had been shocked that Hap called him drunk from Charming after reading the letter T left him when she went to Florida. Hap was never really one for talking but that night he said a whole lot, and Mac was good at reading between the lines. Mac was just as confused about what T should do as she was. Too many people loved her, at one point even he had but the drama that went down with Hap and Koz had changed his prospective. It changed his love to a platonic love instead. She didn't need anyone else fighting over her, T had been stressed and at the edge of breaking for so long. Mac was surprised that it took as long as it had. His only hope was that everyone would come out of this as whole as possible. Koz seemed to be spending more time with that sweet butt Maria who only ever hooked up with Koz himself. Mac had talked to Jay, they had became close while he was here, and had learned that D was still fixing up the house he owned in Florida in hopes of T coming back to him. And Happy, Mac didn't even know what would happen with Hap. He knew for sure that Hap would eventually get patched into Charming, but he didn't think that Hap would ever love again if T didn't find it in her to forgive him. Mac wasn't to sure who would get her, if any of them. Mac figured that within the next couple days he would have to call her and get her to go out to lunch with him. He needed to figure out where her head was at on everything, and she probably needed help figuring shit out herself. Mac just hoped that T would survive all of this, because she was too good of a woman to end up single for the rest of her life.

T hadn't been to the clubhouse or even contacted any of the sons in a couple days. She couldn't wrap her head around anything. She had talked to Ronnie and learned that D was fixing up his house and leaving it empty in hopes that T would move there. Happy's book was still sitting on her bedside table. She had learned that Koz had been spending a lot of time with Maria. T was happy for them, Maria had been in love with Koz for a long ass time. She knew that she was for sure through with Koz, but Hap and D were different. Each of them loved her so much, and she didn't know if she could break either of their hearts. She knew that it didn't matter though because someone was going to get hurt, shit they all might. She tried to analyze her options but they all lead to someone getting hurt. T threw herself back onto her bed. Why could her life ever be easy? All she wanted to do was find a man, settle down, get married and start a family. Why did it have to be so hard? Being completely honest with herself wasn't any easier. She kept trying to weigh D and Hap on the same scale but the two were as different as two people could possibly be. Both had good and bad qualities, both had hurt her, and honestly neither of them deserved her. Either way she wouldn't have to see the other one all that often, because if she chose D she would be moving to Florida, and if she chose Hap… well who knows what that man's plans are. Speaking of Hap, it had been a long time since she had went to visit his mom. She knew that she would have to go soon. She had already called and asked when she was coming to visit and she felt shitty for not having the balls to do it sooner. T groaned as her phone rang.

"What?" She bit out.

"Damn girl, I was just going to see if you wanted to get lunch." Mac replied.

T let out a huge sigh.

"Sorry Mac, yeah I would love lunch I've been spending way too much time in my head." She replied.

"Okay you wanna meet there or you want me to pick you up?" He asked

"How about we meet in thirty?" She asked.

"Sure thing baby girl, see you than." He said before hanging up.

T reluctantly climbed out of bed. She got dressed, as she went to grab her bag, she glanced at Hap's sketch book. She wanted to show it to someone, she needed someone to help her gain some perspective and no one was better for the job than Mac. No she decided and shook her head. She turned around to walk out of the door, but changed her mind at the last minute and grabbed the book. She stuffed it in her bag and walked out of her room. She didn't have to show him, but if she ended up wanting to, it would be good to have just in case.

T pulled up to the diner and walked in. She took her usual booth in the back and looked out at the lot. Mac would be here soon, and she knew that he was going to help her figure this out or at least figure out where her head is at. She watched Mac's bike pull into the lot, and she relaxed slightly. Hopefully he could help her, because right now she could hardly tell her ass from her head.

Mac slid into the booth seat across from T, and he could tell just from looking at her that she was dead serious about being stuck in her head. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun, and he could see the bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep. Mac smiled at the waitress as she came over to take their order. Once she was gone Mac looked straight at her

"Alright, spill."

T just looked at him, while trying not to smile

"What are you a spy now?" She asked "I thought you missed me and that's why you wanted to get lunch"

"No I'm not no freaking spy, you know whatever we talk about stays between us and I did miss you but when its been two days since anyone has seen you, Ana included I knew that you needed to talk. So here I am to get you out of your head and back into the real world. Besides you only have two more weeks before you and Ana go on your road trip and you need to clear your head so you can enjoy your trip." He told her.

T didn't say anything again until the waitress had brought them their food. T let out a huge sigh, before taking a bite.

"I talked to Ronnie and she said that D is fixing up his house down there in hopes that I will come back, I learned that Koz has been spending lots of time with Maria which is a good thing, and than well there is Hap…." She trailed off looking down at her food, before taking another bite. Mac let her words hang there for a little while. He figured that it would come down between D and Hap, but he really wondered what Hap had did that even put him back into the mix. She still hadn't finished that thought by the time he was finished with his food so he looked at her.

"Hap what?" He asked gently.

T's head shot up and she looked at him. He could tell that she had forgotten that he was even there because she looked confused for a moment before sighing heavily again.

"Promise me, that you will not tell anyone about this and that you will never mention this to Hap?" She asked him.

"I promise" Mac replied

He watched as T opened her bag and pulled out a sketch book. Mac didn't say anything, but he figured that it was one of Hap's books. _So that's what he did._ Mac thought to himself. Well it had to be good to have her as shaken up as she was. Mac took the book from T's out stretched hand.

Opening the book, Mac was shocked. He examined each picture carefully before he looked back at her. Mac was amazed that almost the whole book was filled, and all with pictures of T. Some of the pictures confused him until he looked at the letter on the last page. No wonder she was so shaken up, the life she had always wanted was drawn out for her. In black and white all sketched by one of the men she loved. Most of the drawings were drawn even before everything bad went down. Shit Hap been drawing these for almost five years. His favorite one was of T standing with her back to the drawer, you could only see part of her face, but she looked so at peace. He left it open to that page and showed it to her.

"Where was this?" He asked her.

Mac watched as T studied the picture.

"It was at this place me and Hap always stopped at when we went to visit his mom. It was tradition. I had to pee one time and there wasn't a rest stop around so we stopped there. It was beautiful and ever since that one time we always stopped there. That is from the last time I went to visit with him, over a year ago. Right before the tat stunt, it was the day that I found out he was going Nomad." T told him

Mac nodded, he knew from the date that it was a couple days after he said he wanted to go Nomad, it was the day before the club voted. Mac could tell from looking closer at the picture that he had just told her that he was leaving. Her eyes held a heavy sadness mixed with understanding but she still stood strong and except for the eyes she still looked peaceful. T took the book from him and flipped to a different page.

"Do I always look at her like this?" She asked turning the book back to him.

Mac noticed it was the picture of her looking down on Ana, the day she came home from the Bahamas. Mac had looked closely at that picture for a long time as well.

"Always" he nodded.

T closed the book than and put it back in her bag. Mac watched her for awhile longer. He looked at her food. She hadn't eaten much, he noticed that mostly she just played with it. Mac waved the waitress over for the bill. T didnt even look up as he paid. He tapped her gently as the waitress brought back his change. Her number written on the receipt, he just shoved it in his pocket. He had bigger things to worry about at the moment than pussy.

T looked up at him,

"Lets go for a ride. We got some shit to discuss." Mac told her.

T nodded and stood up, walking out of the diner and towards her car. Mac waited by her bike as she popped the trunk and pulled out her riding jacket and helmet. Mac climbed up on his bike and T climbed behind him. Once her arms were wrapped around his waist he took off. They rode for a long time, going nowhere and everywhere all at once. He could feel her relaxing, a couple times she even let go of him and threw her arms out. Mac pulled up to a spot that he liked to think at, and cut the engine.

T climbed off of the bike and looked out at the water. Mac lead her to a spot to sit down.

'So whats going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asked her

"No matter what I choose someone is going to get hurt. Koz is basically moved on so it will hurt him a little bit but mostly it will hurt his pride. D is getting a house ready in hopes that I will come back and Hap doesn't see shit in his future but a long ass black road. I don't want to move around with Hap if he stays Nomad, and I really don't want to move to Charming. I don't want to move to Florida either, I cant leave Ana. If I choose no one, we will all be hurt. I thought that Hap didn't love me but what I realized is that I had turned my love for him into hate because I needed someone to blame for the fact that I chose a life I hate. Once I actually sat down and thought about it I realized that I still love him just as much as I always have, I just didn't want to. D changed me, he helped me find a balance. The only reason Hap and Koz could never help me was because I didn't want them too, I didn't want to love them anymore, I wanted to hate them. If I don't go to Florida D will be broken and who the hell knows what he will do and he will be hurt. If I choose Hap, D will be hurt and I don't even know what the hell Hap's plans are and where the hell I would fit in with them. If I choose no one, we will all be hurt. No matter what I do I am going to get hurt. I will feel shitty for choosing one over the other but if I don't choose anyone maybe we could form some type of a friendship. I don't really know Mac. The best plan I have come up with is that I choose no one and who ever moves on first, I take the other person. But that's a shitty plan and who even knows if they will move on. I really don't think Hap will but I have no clue about D. All I know is that they are both trying to give me the life I want and I feel like an ungrateful bitch." T explained

Mac nodded. She really was that lost. She wasn't leaning more towards one than the other. Sarah had told Mac that Ronnie said that D and T had a love like Ronnie and Zeke or Sarah and Jonny. Mac though, he wasn't so sure.

"Well you know your options, so I guess the best thing for you to do would be to sit down and talk to both of them. You need to talk to Hap and see what his plans are and when you go to Florida your going to have to talk to D. I cant tell you who to choose, no one can decided that but you. I will tell you that you need to quit over thinking it and just let shit happen. It will be easier on you and them. If in the end you don't choose either than you know it wasn't meant to be. They both hurt you, and they know that so they are not expecting you to make up your mind at all. I don't know D well so I cant really speak for him, but there is some shit that went down with Hap that you need to hear, and when you go down to Florida talk to Jay about D and how he has been." Mac said giving her a pointed look.

T nodded and sat quietly waiting for Mac to continue.

"Hap called me very fucking drunk after he read your letter and talked to you. I have never heard him talk that much. He was outraged that you thought he didn't love you, and that shit actually hurt his feelings and aside from his mom, in the 15 years I have known Hap I have never seen him act like that except for when his mom got sick and he had to put her in the home. I don't know for sure but I would even bet that he cried that night. Hap has never once loved anyone and he loves you, a whole hell of a lot. That book shows that, some of the pictures are drawn with Hap's eye. That is how he sees you, I never once heard him talk about wanting kids, in fact I thought that he hated them. I was wrong, he wants them with you. He wants the whole thing with you marriage, kids, settle down in a house, shit he would probably even let you have a dog. That man doesn't show a lot of good emotions but when he does they are fucking strong. I know that Hap can be your rock, that if you let him he will help you find a balance and keep you anchored to the earth. However you choose, take your time and make sure that its what you really want and that you know what you are giving up. No one is in a hurry and you don't need to be. Let shit fall where it is for awhile and see how it turns out and go from there." Mac told her sincerely.

T nodded and hugged him.

"Now come on lets get back, and you should talk to Hap soon. Plus Ana really misses you, we all do." Mac told her as they walked back towards his bike. T gave him a big smile as she climbed on.

Mac was just happy to see her smile again, she didn't look so lost anymore.

T climbed in her car once Mac let her off his bike. She pulled her phone out of her bag. Holding Hap's book in one hand and her phone in the other, she hit the talk button.

Hap answered on the third ring.

'Hello" he said in his gruff tone.

"Hey, umm I think we need to talk." She told him

"Okay. When?" Hap asked.

"Well, your mom called me and asked me to come and visit. So if you don't mind I thought maybe we could go down one day this week and see her and than talk?" She asked

"Okay, I planned on going on Wednesday, that work for you?"

"Yeah, that's good. So the usual time than?"

"You riding with me?" he sounded surprised

"If that's okay I would like too."

"Aight, I'll see you at the usual time than. Later T."

"Bye Hap."

T closed her phone and looked down at the book. She had opened it to the page of her talking to the little boy, his hand was on her belly. She wasn't sure why she kept stopping at that picture but she knew that it would be one of the ones she would kept whenever she decided to give him his book back.

T pulled out of the lot and headed towards Jonny's. She had plans to make with Ana, after all like Mac reminded her, only two weeks until they went on their cross country trip. She started to get excited than. T was happy that Mac snapped her back into reality, after all the world wouldn't stop just because she wanted it too. She thought as she pulled into the drive way and Ana and Junior came running out of the house. She had the biggest smile on her face as she climbed out of the car. Life could hold out for a little while longer, she wanted to just spend time with two of the people who she loved. Jonny and Sarah walked out of the house than too.

"I think a family day is way over do." T called out to them.

Jonny and Sarah both nodded as they all headed into the house.


	13. I'm betting on Ana

_**Oh and check out my poll and vote! (if you haven't already) I want to know what all you people think and who you want T to end up with : ) Just so you guys know if this chapter sucks its because I am not at the most amazing place for writing relationships right now considering the fact that my fiancé just left me. I hope that you enjoy it none the less **_____

The start of T's week had went by quickly, leaving her in a slight panic Tuesday night. T and Ana had hung up a huge map in T's room, stars marking everywhere Ana wanted to stop. T knew that this trip would be expensive and would most likely clear out all of the money she had saved, but she didn't care. Ana deserved a vacation and T really did too. Being with Ana was easy even if T was a little bit more on guard than usual. Lonnie and Marcy knew about the trip and had relayed the details to Marcus and Leroy as they got them. T wanted all of the clubs to steer clear of her and Ana she didn't want to have to worry about getting attacked by them or other random clubs either. She wanted peace and quiet and to enjoy spending time with her niece. The first stop for them would be Disney World, the perfect start of their trip, and Ana has been wanting to go there forever. T stared at the huge map, some places might end up being skipped over but T planned on making the most stops as possible, she even decided they would leave a few days earlier flying straight to Orlando and making Disney the first thing that they did, even before she got her car. She was getting a rental from the airport and they would drop it off at the rental station by the clubhouse. It was only a couple hours away, but T didn't want Disney to be tainted by whatever she learned from the Florida sons or D. This trip was strictly about Ana, and well making a huge dent in the money she had already saved up. Ana still had her gift cards and T knew she planned on using them for souvenirs. T promised Ana for her 18th birthday that they could go to New York, so for now they would see everything in the south that Ana wanted to.

The house was quiet, it was so weird for T not having Marcy and Lonnie yelling at her to come watch some movie or whatever. But since they got their CSI jobs T hardly ever saw them, they were always working and in a way she was jealous._ Guess this is how they felt when I was always out doing club favors but at least they had each other. I on the other hand have no one, and this trip with Hap tomorrow is fucking killing me._ T thought, trying to calm herself down yet again. Lying down on her bed, she grabbed Hap's book again, stopping at each picture trying to remember each detail from every day, every moment that Hap had drawn. It was a shock to her, that days that had meant the most to her seemed to matter just as much to him. These drawings were a side of Hap, she had never seen and probably never would. She could hope though, that tomorrow when they talked she would get a glimpse of the Happy that had drawn these pictures.

Happy sat at the clubhouse bar, ignoring the sweet butts as they tried to cling to him. What was happening tomorrow was eating at him. T wanted to go visit him mom with him and ride with him just like shit used to be. He couldn't decide if he was about to seriously have his heart stomped on or be given the hope he had prayed for. He wasn't one for hope or love or even praying but somehow T had wormed her way into his heart. After allowing that one good emotion, after feeling what it was to be loved and to love, he didn't really want to give it up. He knew that it was his book, that his book would either make it or break it for him. He hadn't given it to her in hopes of winning her back, he just really wanted her to see that he did love her, as much as a killer like him could. Even when he was a little kid, Happy had never really been one for talking about his feelings or showing emotion but they were always there, always pushed to the side, begging to be released. T had done that, and when Hap tried to deny it all, his own mother called him out on it. She had been the one to tell him that he loved her, that she was his salvation. The only thing in this world that would keep him sane because even if he didn't know it he had been searching for her for a life time, and a life without her in it would be a cold world for him. His mother's Native American people had strong beliefs and Hap had grown up emerged within them. Somehow his mother just knew things and in Hap's whole life never once had she been wrong. He hadn't been to visit his mother in a while, not after the last time, and not after the dream. She had told him everything he didn't want to hear, and the dream proved to him that his mom had been right all along. Hap had opened that book that night, after waking from his dream of nothingness, a dream of one long dark stretch of road. It was a dream he had before, but in this one there was not light at the end of the tunnel. With T gone there was no hope for him. His mother's words running around his brain, _Its not to late, but if you don't do something it will be. Her future is bright, it always has been but I fear for yours. A life without her for you contains no light, all darkness and nothing to keep you here. I will die before I watch you go down that path._ Hap was afraid to visit her after that, he was afraid to face anything. He knew that he was flirting with the line of death all the time. That was a major part of wanting to belong to a club again. Charming was the perfect choice, not too far from his mother or T. Hap wasn't sure if he wanted to kill someone or cry, when his dreams of the future disappeared. All he knew is that he had to let T see that he loved her.

Seeing her the day she came home, he drew his final picture and bought his time until he placed his book in her car. He put it in there before they all sat down to talk. He knew he wouldn't say anything in there for more reasons than the fact that he was emotionally challenged. Nothing would explain better than his drawings. It was her life since she came here, five years ago and what her life would be with or without him. Hap had prayed for a miracle even though he long ago quit hoping that a higher power would give him a sign. For some reason that night after t drove off, he prayed to his mothers ansectors, begging for something to change the direction his life was headed. Only tomorrow would tell, he did what he could to fix his wrongs it was all in her hands now.

Mac sat at a table in the back of the club house. He watched Hap ignore the sweet butts trying to get his attention. Mac hadn't talked to Hap about his conversation with T. Looking closer Mac noticed that Hap seemed to be nervous, something he never was. Standing Mac pushed the woman off of him and headed for the bar, taking the seat next to Hap.

"Whats up brother?" Mac asked.

Hap looked at him, Mac kept his face calm and waited silently for Hap to respond.

"You talked to T?" Hap asked after a minute.

Mac nodded his head.

"Had lunch with her Friday, no one had seen her since the talk you four had. I figured I should check up on her. Why whats up?"

Mac watched as Hap thought things over. Everyone talked to Mac, he was the residential shrink. If you didn't seek him out, eventually he would find you. Mac kept the men in the club calm; he talked them down from anger, fixed relationship problems and came up with great plans and ideas for their club.

"She's going with me to see my mom tomorrow."

"She's went with you lots of times. Whats so different about tomorrow?"

"T hasn't been on the back of my bike since I went Nomad. Shit honestly bro, I made a move and she wants to talk tomorrow. I'm not sure if she is about to tell me to fuck off or that she loves me. My life without her is dark bro, the darkest its ever been. My ma says I still got a chance but I'm not so sure. I fucked up I know I did, and I didn't make my move to get her to take me back, really I just wanted her to see that I really do love her."

"What did you do?"

"I gave her a sketch book, full of pictures of her from the very first moment I laid eyes on her. I've always wanted her. That's why I started helping with the training. She just has the type of personality that makes you want to be around her. Shit dude I never even hit that and she calls to me."

Mac nodded his head, he chose his words carefully before speaking again.

"We had a long talk about you. T spent two days in her head, trying to work shit out. She knows her options. I told her that she needs to sit down and talk to you about it. This shit going on between ya'll is just that between you two. What you did it worked, and shes got lots to explain to you and you got lots of shit that needs to be explained to her. Shit will be clearer between you two tomorrow than it ever has been. As far as I know she hasn't made a decision yet and in the end I think she is going to surprise all of us. You need to really think about what your going to do if she does choose you. You still going to Charming, you going to stay nomad or come back to Tacoma. That will effect her decision. I know that she understands why you want the transfer but I know she wont leave Ana at least not while Ana still really needs her. T is strong and stubborn and seriously fucking confused right now. All we can do is wait it out. I have a feeling that by the time she gets back from her trip with Ana she will have made a choice. And between me and you, she knows about Koz and Maria and she's happy for them so Koz isn't even in the running right now." Mac said giving Hap a pointed look

Happy actually cracked a smile. Mac patted him on the shoulder and grabbed a beer from the prospect. Mac walked back over to the table he was sitting at. He wanted to laugh when the sweet butt he shoved to the floor climbed back in his lap. The things women did to get in good with him is ridiculous. With the exception of T and a few others, pussy was pussy. Mac enjoyed being a VP though, even though he had to deal with lots of drama and diffuse a lot of fucked up situations, he enjoyed the pussy perks of it. The sweet butts and crow eaters all wanted to climb the latter and he was as high as they could get, that and he didn't like a lot of weird shit like the SAA's.

Mac watched the sweet butts around the room. The smart ones went for the prospects, their best hope of becoming an old lady. The patched in members didn't really want pussy that everyone had already hit but the prospects were still new enough to see the good in everyone. Mac caught Hap getting up out of the corner of his eye. Mac was proud of Hap as he turned down all the pussy being thrown at him. After all he had a date with his destiny tomorrow. Mac hoped for all involved that T choose Hap, no one in this world would make her as happy or understand her as well as Happy did. Fuck what Ronnie said, T and Hap belonged together. Mac watched as Hap headed towards the dorms, who knows tomorrow Hap might actually get to fuck her. Mac figured that would be the only real way to see if they would work out, after their talk. It would give Hap a chance to show her physically how much he gave a fuck.

D sat at the bar in the Florida clubhouse. Zeke had just told him that T would for sure be there on the first to get her car and she wasn't coming alone. She was bringing Ana and they were going on a road trip. D wasn't sure how to feel about that, he knew that T wasn't coming to stay and since she was bringing Ana there was no way he would be able to talk her into staying. Zeke had patted him on the shoulder after he delivered the news, and D hadn't left his bar stool since then. D wasn't even sure how he felt about it all. He was banging sweet butts left and right trying to erase the memories of taking T in the shower and so far nothing was working. Every night when he closed his eyes, he saw her. She was sleeping on his chest, she was waking him up with breakfast in bed and head. She was punching through the glass cabinets in her kitchen, she was killing those mother fuckers from the favor they went on. D seriously thought he was losing it. Every time his phone rang, he got excited in hopes that it was her, he was smelling her even though her scent had long ago been washed off and over taken by smoke, beer and pussy. He heard her voice even though she was nowhere near and no one had talked to her, not even Ronnie. He heard her moans while he was fucking the sweet butts, he was tired of it all. T was haunting him and she didn't even know it.

Zeke and Ronnie sat at their kitchen table eating breakfast.

"So, T and Ana will be here in a week. D took it bad, he was hoping that when T comes down to get her car it would give him a chance to talk her into staying, for good." Zeke broke the silence.

Ronnie nodded, never before had she been wrong. This time she wasn't so sure. Something big happened with T in Tacoma, Sarah wasn't sure what it was but she did inform Ronnie that T was riding with Hap to go and visit his mom.

"They need to talk, I really thought that they had a love like ours but something big happened. T's riding with Hap to go and visit his mom today. Sarah said that she has no clue whats going on. When Jonny, T and the guys sat down to talk, Hap didn't say shit. T holed up in her house for two days after that and no one saw her. Not even Ana, than she came over Sunday and had family day. Monday Jonny came home and told her that T and Hap were going to Cali to visit his mom. Not sure what he did but Hap did something big to make that girl all kinds of confused." Ronnie told him.

Zeke nodded, he knew that Jay and Mac had been talking. He also knew that Mac was relaying info to T, while Ronnie and Sarah were doing the same. Zeke wasn't sure what would happen to his SAA, if T chose Hap over him and he couldn't help but feel like all this was on his head anyway. The couple ate in silence after that, at least until Zeke's phone rang.

"Yeah?" Zeke answered

"Zeke" Glen replied.

"whats up brother?"

"Guess what I just heard? We all know Hap hasn't patched over to Charming yet, in fact he hasn't made any real decisions since he went Nomad. Now he pulled some stunt with T and he might not be going to Charming at all. I don't know for sure because I'm still waiting on Hap to call me but Clay called me and told me that Hap is putting off his vote being placed on the table."

"Really? Because Ronnie was just telling me that Hap and T were going to visit his mom today, together."

"Together like shes driving he's riding or together on his bike?"

"On his bike."

"Aww shit, doesn't look good for team Florida. T aint been on his bike for over a year. Ever since Hap went Nomad and pulled that tat stunt, you know that tat was the last thing Happy did in Tacoma before he went Nomad? Something about just because he aint around doesn't mean he wants anyone else to be either. On a good note, Koz is getting cozy with some sweet butt and I think hes out of the running"

"Shit. I cant help but feel like this shit is all my fault"

"Damn straight it is" Ronnie mumbled.

Glen laughed. "Looks like the queen isn't too happy about whats going down."

"You know how she is, cant stand to be wrong." Zeke replied.

"Well that's all brother, just thought I would share the info with you. Let D know I'm hoping he has some good words for her when she comes down there. Not too sure who's side to pick with this one. I have a feeling no one will be the same once the choice is made. Some of the guys are even talking about making bets." Glen replied.

"yeah well I'm hoping she chooses D, a killer with nothing to live for is a danger to all."

"Yeah, but you have no idea how crazy Hap has been without her. Not sure you really want to actually. He's brushed death more times in the last few months than ever. Its like he's flirting with the line, T is his salvation and without him it will be tough to get some of the shit needed done. I'm going to call Mac and see where her head is at on all of this, if anyone knows he will." Glen said before hanging up.

Zeke looked at Ronnie for a long time before relaying what he just learned.

"Glen really think that Mac knows where her head is at better than Sarah or her girls even?" Ronnie asked.

"Shit baby, Mac knows where everyone's head is at. He makes it his business to know, I can tell you right now that Tacoma wouldn't run as smoothly as it does without him. To Mac, one distracted mind will get them all killed and he's right." Zeke answered before getting up and kissing his wife.

Walking outside he lit up a cigarette before dialing the number, he answered on the first ring.

"My bet is that you want to know the same thing Glen did. I already talked to him and Jonny, I was waiting for your call" Mac answered

"Yeah well, a lot of shit is riding on this." Zeke replied.

"You think she doesn't know that? That we all don't know that?"

"I don't know man, I really don't."

"Look this shit is eating her up. She didn't leave her house for two days. Hap pulled a big card in proving that he really does fucking love her. She knows D is pulling a big card too with fixing up the house. She knows that no matter what someone is going to get hurt, herself included. She's narrowed it down to Happy or D. Koz is hooking up with Maria and they seem to be happy, which is all she wants for everyone. Even if she doesn't get it herself, I told her she needs to sit down and talk with Hap and D and Jay because I told her what I could about how Hap is without her and Jay has to do the same for D. Choosing wont be easy and it most likely wont happen anytime soon. The blame cant be placed on anyone but D and Hap and Koz for this shit. The T everyone thinks they know isn't really her and it sure as hell isn't who she wants to be. In the end she will do whats best for the club, the guys and than herself. She is too damn selfless for her own good, and that is a trait that is going to destroy her."

"Yeah, I guess Ronnie was right, we are all more worried about how this is going to affect the club as a whole and our clubs individually than how its going to affect her."

"You and Jonny kind of, Glen just wants to win big money off this, they are going to start betting one week after she leaves for Florida. Glen plans on being here tonight to see how shit went with Hap today and he's driving down to Florida in a couple days to see how it goes with D. Lots of brothers are going to bet on this." Mac said, his tone a mix between amusement and disgust.

Zeke laughed.

"I got to go, shit doesn't get done by its self around here." Mac told Zeke.

Zeke knew Mac had told him what he could, and what he told everyone else but he had one more question.

"Who are you betting on?" Zeke asked.

Mac sighed "all three of you asked the same damn question. I'm betting on Ana."

Zeke stared at his phone after Mac hung up. Zeke was confused by that, because no one she chose would allow her to stay with Ana. So it didn't make sense to him. Maybe T's decision will rest in Ana's hand. Who ever Ana thought t should be with was probably who she would choose. Zeke decided than that they better be super fucking nice to Ana, if they wanted to get T down here with D. Zeke climbed on his bike and headed for the clubhouse to relay the info he just learned. He also planned on telling them all that whatever Ana wanted while she was down here should happen, She was their best bet.

After hanging up with Zeke and having told three people the same thing three separate times this morning Mac was exhausted. All three of them wanted to know who he was betting on and he told them the truth, Ana. He was sure they all thought that T's choice rested in Ana's hand because none of them really thought that T would just choose no one. Mac was pretty sure that was what she would do that. Pick no one, because that was the best choice for the club and the guys, and maybe it would be the best choice for her as well.

Mac hoped that she did choose someone because she needed someone else to help ground her, Ana wouldn't be able to do it all on her own. T would self destruct without someone helping her. He knew that it would fall on him to make sure that she stayed grounded. She was an asset to this club, and she is an amazing person who deserves nothing but happiness. She wouldn't take it though, even if it was hanging in front of her face.

`T finished getting dressed; checking her hair, outfit and make up for the third time. T grabbed her bag of the dresser adding her cell and Hap's book. Heading out the door her nerves started to kick in again. It had been a year since the last time she made this ride with Hap, shit it had been a year since she had been on the back of his bike. T was nervous but excited, she missed riding down the highway with her arms wrapped around Hap. She missed the feel of his abs under hands, she missed how strong his shoulders felt when she put her head on his back and the thing she missed the most was the smell of him. T could ride on anyone's bike with them, but riding with Hap had always been her favorite, she hardly ever rode with anyone for fun after the last time she rode with Hap. It wasn't the same, it didn't feel the same and she never got as relaxed as she did. T sighed as she turned into the clubhouse parking lot. Her eyes landed on the row of bikes parked there, and she knew something was up the minute she spotted Glens bike. Parking and climbing out quickly she walked towards the clubhouse door. Hap better not fucking be canceling and if he is the least he could do was call¸ T thought as she opened the door and walked in.

Happy, Glen, Jonny and Mac were all sitting at the bar. Hap was dressed for a long ride and oddly for some reason the sight of him turned her on. All three men turned and looked at her as she walked towards the bar slowly. Glen held out his arms for a hug first.

"baby girl, we were just talking about you." Glen said as she moved on to hug Jonny and Mac, leaving Happy for last.

Hap had only slightly turned towards her, so she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"For some reason that doesn't surprise me, so who's betting on who?" T asked

Mac laughed, Happy looked at her funny while Jonny and Glen looked at her sheepishly.

"What that had to be a reason you were here Glen, and you love drama so I figured it was me. Bet I run into you while I'm in Florida too. So who you rooting for? Happy or D?" she asked looking at her cousin and Glen.

"Betting hasn't started yet" Jonny and Glen mumbled

"Am I really that transparent?" Glen asked her

T laughed at him "Yep"

T gripped Happy's shoulder and he leaned back into her, tilting his head upward to look at her. She leaned down close to his ear

"You ready?" She asked softly.

Happy grunted in response. T nodded and took her hands off his shoulders and took a step back. She watched as Hap stood up, admiring his butt in her favorite pair of jeans. In fact he was wearing all of her favorite stuff. T smiled at that, he was making an effort. She wanted to laugh as well though because one night she had drunkenly told him that she loved those jeans and he wore them more when she was around, in fact she was pretty sure that he went out and bought a few more pairs just for her. Hap walked to the door, but T stood at the bar. He looked back at her and she nodded.

"So Mac, who you betting on?" T asked

Jonny and Glen looked at him, Mac smiled at her.

"Me? I'm betting on Ana." Mac replied.

T nodded and headed for the door. She figured that Glen and Jonny would draw more information before they bet. Mac though, he knew that Ana was the deciding factor in this. Not that she would have a choice like T was sure everyone thought, but what would be best for Ana and the club would be the one she chose. Besides she thought it would be nice for Ana to get spoiled by everyone, after all they all wanted to win big. T knew she shouldn't find it funny that the guys in most of the clubs were betting on her love life but she did. She also knew that a lot was riding on her choice, which is why everyone was now so involved. T smiled as she watched Hap on his bike smoking a cigarette waiting for her. She walked to her car and popped open the trunk, pulling out her jacket and helmet. She closed the trunk before sliding on the jacket, helmet in hand she walked back towards Happy. She reached out and grabbed his cigarette taking a huge drag off it. Hap just shot her a look as he started up his bike. T flicked the butt into the middle of the dirt before climbing on. T wrapped her hands tightly around Hap's waist and buried her face in his back.

"Ready?" Hap called over the engine.

"Hell Yeah!" T shouted.

T smiled as she felt Hap take off.

Jonny and Glen looked at Mac, who was cheesing like a damn fool.

"What the hell does that even mean? I'm betting on Ana?" Glen asked

"What the hell do you think it means? It means that Ana is the deciding factor. So we all better kiss her little butt and try and talk her into who we want her to end up with." Jonny replied.

Mac just smiled as Jonny and Glen started weighing the pros and cons of each man and with how they could benefit the most. Mac knew as he told T who he was betting on that she got the meaning. Mac was making Ana the deciding factor, the reason she would stay or go. Mac knew though that it was looking like at the current moment, T wasn't going to pick anyone. Mac had already decided to wait until the very last moment to place his bet, and it was his luck that he got to be in charge of the betting.

Mac decided that everyone would text their bet to him and the amount they were betting, on Ana's first day of school. By than T would have for sure made a choice, the road trip would be over, T would have talked to everyone she needed too and Ana would be in school so T would be free to do as she choose. In the end Mac wouldn't know until T did or right before she did.

The whole Florida charter sat back as they watched D destroy a punching bag. Zeke felt shitty but he would of felt worse if D didn't know about T and Hap's little trip. After all it really wasn't something that should be kept from him. He had to know what he was up against.

D kept punching and punching, all he could see was red. Thoughts of T and Hap, together on his bike just fueled his anger more. T had never even been on the back of his back, in fact she was against it. Mac said she hardly ever rode on the back of anyones bike, even though she still kept her helmet and jacket in the trunk of her car, both of them. Mac said sometimes she would but that it had taken a long time for her to do it. The first time after the tat stunt she had freaked out and got right off. D could understand because sometimes guys freak out on a bike after they have their first accident and shit. For T, it wasn't a physical thing, it was an emotional thing and she refused to ride with anyone she was attracted too. It was too close for comfort, it brought back too many memories and it just hurt her, something she wasn't used to showing. Emotion wasn't really something she showed anyone but Ana and Junior.

D stopped hitting and walked right towards his cut. He threw it on, pulling the key out of his pocket and stalked towards his bike. Nothing would make him feel better right now and they were all sitting ducks, waiting for a call from Glen to learn how the trip went. That was still hours away, at least. Shit it could end up being a whole day. D got on and started his bike, he drove off leaving all of his brothers watching him.

"Shit looks bad. Real bad." Jay replied after hanging up his phone.

Zeke turned his head away from where his SAA had just taken off from towards his VP.

"What you mean?" Zeke asked

Jay looked thoughtful for a moment. Zeke watched him carefully, he knew Jay would tell him what happened but he wanted to see if he could pick up how bad it actually is.

"Glen said that T knows about the bet for sure, and that her and Hap seemed pretty cozy before they left. Nothing really to go on, but he said that the way they interacted was… something he hadn't seen since she got out of Juive. He said he will call when they get back, shit Glens even passing on pussy tonight to wait for them to get back, of they come back. They all think that they are going to fuck tonight. Guess we are just going to have to wait and see. No one knows what Hap did and if they do they aint telling. I would bet Mac knows but you know how he is about confidentiality. He wont tell and Hap hasn't spoke a word about it, T either." Jay said cationly.

Zeke looked at Jay before he kicked a bucket on the ground next to him.

"FUCK" Zeke yelled. "this is not good at all." He added in a quieter voice.

Jay nodded and headed back towards the clubhouse. He was worried because D was in a bad place and for a killer that was dangerous, it was dangerous for all of them. Picking up his phone he dialed Mac.

"Was waiting on your call." Mac answered

"So how bad is it looking?" Jay asked

Jay waited while Mac thought his question over.

"Don't really know. They were good before they took off but for all I know they could get into a huge fight by the time they get back here. T and Hap, when they are together they always surprise us all. Hap shows her more emotion than anyone but his momma, and T well that girl is full of surprises. I know that she wont decided until shes talked to D and you though so don't get to down about it. Focus on doing what you think you need to do to keep D sane and what you plan on telling her. A lot is riding on that. Leave out the fact that hes banging crow eaters left and right in hopes of forgetting her though unless she asks. Oh and don't lie to her, she always knows when someone is lying. Its creepy." Mac told him.

"Thanks for the info brother. I know theres no way you will tell me what Hap did to get back in her good graces huh?" Jay asked.

Mac laughed "What happened between them is between them. Just like what happens between her and D will be between her and hi. In the end T is the only one with the power to make a choice. Well her and Ana." Mac replied before hanging up.

Jay closed his phone and took a big swig of his beer. He had a lot of shit to do and only a little time to figure it all out.

"Fuck my life" he grumbled. As he slammed the rest of his beer he took the hand of the girl who had been eyeing him all throughout the night. He lead her back to his room for the night. After all there wasn't a whole of a lot he could do right now. He had to wait until T came down to Florida to try and convince her to pick D and stay in Florida. He knew he had his work cut out of him, but if he could somehow make it seem like it was best for the club for her to be in Florida he knew she would.

**AN: Again sorry about this chapter I am of course not happy with it but I thought that you guys deserved something**** Vote, Vote, Vote and Review, Review, Review. Pretty please? The Hap and T road trip will be in the next chapter promise **


	14. Love the Way you Lie

**AN: Okay so I just realized that when I am trying to space it out, it wasn't coming up so I am trying something new. Let me know if you like it or not. Oh and this Chapter might seem really random but I am trying to get to the bottom of everything and trying to shape my characters as people and this is the way they wanted to go. Please don't hate me! Anyways let me know how you guys feel and so far Hap is winning. **

**PS. I did listen to love the way you lie Eminem while writing this so there are parts of the song in this story, though not all of them are in order **

As T sat on the back of Hap's bike her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, she let her mind wander back to a time when they were happy. She remembered how riding on Hap's bike with him always gave her goose bumps and how she always begged him to go faster. T knew that no matter how scared she would get, that Hap would save her. She quickly burst that bubble of security. Hap was just a man not a god, and if his bike went down he wouldn't be able to save her. She realized that all of her little girl fantasy were worth nothing anymore. Hap wasn't a damn prince on a motorcycle with a gun, he was a killer and she was the same. She still loved him though, she always had and that was why she even started this trip down memory lane. She knew that her and Hap had a lot of shit to discuss but first and foremost that needed to reach the home his mother was staying at. T had never been afraid of Hap's mom, or momma as she liked to call her, even though the older woman seemed to know things that normal people didn't. T loved hearing the stories of momma's people, and she loved the extra knowledge the older woman gave her. The advice was always golden and T spent a lot of time thinking over what momma had told her. T knew that Hap's future without her was dark and full of death, momma had told her that the last time she had visited. T couldn't bear to go back after that because she did the one thing that momma had asked not to. She had kicked Happy's ass to the curb and she knew momma was pissed at her. The fact that Hap's momma was pissed at her hurt her more than if anyone else was mad at her. T loved momma and momma always treated her like a long lost daughter even though her and Hap were never officially together and now they were really apart. T was trying to fix that though, she knew her options and now she had to have a talk with both men and see where they stood. Ana was a huge deciding factor for T, because Ana came first. No one else had as much power over her as that little girl. T shook her head, she didn't have time to worry about making a final choice right this minute. This time was for her and Hap to bond and to go visit his mom. The talking part would come later at their favorite spot and the choice would be made whenever T felt right about it.

At the current moment no one was forcing her hand, everyone here was pretty content on letting it ride itself out. T wasn't too sure what would happen in Florida though, from what she heard D was a real fucking mess. T felt a pang of guilt for that, but quickly shoved it down. She shouldn't of allowed herself a trip down memory lane. She wasn't that stupid girl any longer, she didn't need to feel things unless she wanted too. After all if all those Psychology classes taught her anything it taught her that pain and emotions are all in the mind. Sure she still believed you could love someone with your whole body, but she knew that the actual love was something her mind created not her heart. Fear, guilt, excitement and everything else was all in her head. T let her arms go loose around Hap's waist, she waited awhile before she flung them out and threw her head back. After all riding a bike could clear your mind and that's exactly what T needed, a clear mind and an open heart. Today would be taxing on all of them and she knew better than to go in with assumptions. After all her and Hap were like that line of that Eminem song, _Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems, maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano…_

-LK-

Hap kept his hands on the handle bars, even though he wanted nothing more than to place them on T's. He loved the way her body seemed to curve perfectly around his whenever she rode on the back of his bike. He loved the strength of her thighs pressed against his and the hum of the bike underneath them. Shit he had fantasies about fucking her on his bike at their spot. T was the brightness to his dark, the moon to his night sky and the love of his life. Something he never thought he would be capable of. Love, what an interesting emotion, it was so different from everything else he felt. Love was like pain and happiness all wrapped into one word. Hap never thought he would be able to love anyone but his momma. He didn't want kids or a wife and he never really wanted a house with a fenced in yard and some stupid dog to take care of. T changed that all for him though. He wanted to see his crow on her, even if it wouldn't be where he had wanted to put it. He wanted to see her belly round with his child, he wanted to hear her scream at him and call him every name in the book while she gave birth. He wanted the house with the picket fence and the dog and he would even drive a damn cage, as long as he could have it all with T. No one else would be able to handle his life, no one else would love him despite his faults and lack of emotions. Hap had never even noticed he was missing anything until he meet T, and now that he had and he had envisioned what could be had, he wanted it. T was a fire cracker, a smart ass and beautiful but she was everything he ever wanted all wrapped into one. She wouldn't back down and she wouldn't let him walk all over her. She fit in with the club and she understood his lifestyle, shit the girl lived his lifestyle. He taught her everything he knew, he wouldn't have to worry about people sneaking up on her, or her getting used as a way to break him. She was just as crazy as he was, maybe more so but she was smart. Not only that but everyone who had heard about her was at least a little bit afraid of her and become even more so once they saw her in action. It always scared Hap when T flung her arms out on the bike, he was always afraid that she would fly off, but she hadn't yet and he hoped that she never would. He couldn't help but smile when she did it though, it reminded him of the older days, of when she looked at him like a god and loved him so much that anyone in a ten mile area would be able to feel it. It made him proud to know that someone as good hearted as her could love someone as awful as him, it made him feel like he wasn't that bad of a person. _You're the same as me, when it comes to love your just as blinded…._

-LK-

Momma waited in the lounge. She had a dream the night before of T and Hap riding in to visit her on Happy's bike. She smiled as she heard the roar of a motorcycle pull up and stood to look out the window. Just like in her dream, there were Happy and T on his bike. She was excited there was hope for her boy yet. She had wanted to at least be able to hold one of her grandbabies before she died and if things went the way she had dreamt them, she would. She could only hope that they made it through their talk okay once they left here. They looked happy enough, though she couldn't see her sons eyes she was sure that they were gleaming. She took her seat again as she waited for them to come inside, it had been too long since she had seen the two of them together and it had been too long since T had visited. She knew that T was afraid that, after her and Hap had went their separate ways, momma was made at her. It had taken a call of her basically demanding that T come see her for the girl to break down. Momma knew that T was having a rough time of it and that all of the drama that had been happening had her head a jumbled mess but things would clear as soon as she and Hap talked. They both needed to get past the pain to make a future. Momma planned to help with that.

"Miss Maddie, your son and daughter in law are here for a visit" nurse Sandy told her.

"Please bring them in." She told the nurse, not being able to hide her glee or smile.

Hap and T came in than, both smiling at her as she held her arms out for a hug. Hap leaned down first and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. T stood back watching the scene. Once Hap was standing tall again, momma looked at T expectantly. T walked over and hugged her gently and kissed her cheek.

"Its good to see you again daughter. Next time don't stay away for so long" Momma whispered in her ear.

"I wont, I promise" T replied.

Momma nodded her head and spread her arms wide.

"Take a seat my children, we have much to discuss." She told them.

Hap and T took their seats on either side of her. Momma placed a shaky hand on both of their steady ones.

"I have missed you two,and to see you two together makes me very happy. I know that you two have much to discuss on your ride home so I wont keep your for long but I do expect another trip from the two of you once the final choice has been made." Momma told them, giving each of them a hard look.

T and Hap both nodded in response.

"so what is new?" momma asked T.

T and Hap shared a look before T began telling momma her story. _You ever love somebody so much…._

-LK-

D arrived back at the clubhouse at night fall. He had driven everywhere and had even stopped at his house to see how things were going. He also spent a lot of time on the beach, thinking. It was a shock to D to realize that T had wormed her way into his heart so quickly. D had loved before and he broke that poor girls heart, but now it seemed that T was breaking his. D didn't like how he felt so out of control in his life. D was a strong man, and a proud one and he realized as he sat there that even though he loved T and she was currently hurting him, his pride was hurting worse. T was an independent woman, she was strong and brave and just as proud as he. D wasn't sure if he would be able to live a life with someone so independent. Not that D wanted a woman who would fold to his every whim, but he wanted a woman who would be his partner but still make him feel like a powerful man. T was powerful and held herself in the same regard as the rest of the SAA and killers in the club life. She was actively involved and needed no one to rescue her. D liked to feel needed and he wasn't sure that T would provide that for him, he knew that T didn't need a knight in shiny leather. She needed someone to challenge her and someone to challenge. She wanted to be able to be a stay at home mom if she wanted too, but she didn't want that to be expected of her. She was beautiful and loving and she cared more about the people who mattered in her life than her own. D loved her with all he had but he couldn't help but feel as if the reason losing T hurt so much was because it was a kick to his pride, not his heart. D had been proud that he was the only one to bed her, of all the sons who wanted too. He was proud that he could calm her down faster than her best friends and family. T could stand by his side without making him look like a bitch but she had made him feel like she was the man in the relationship and he had let her. T was crazier than him, Hap and Koz but not as crazy as Tig Tragger in Charming. She didn't kill innocence if she could help it, and she didn't crave the need for death. At least d didn't think so, but he knew that she enjoyed some part of what she did. The kill was a thrill for all of them, but D hoped that the thrill for T, was knowing that her family was safe. _Love the way you lie…._

-LK-

T told momma the edit version of what had been happening in her life. She left out the set up Hap and Koz pulled on D. She left out the amount of killing she had done. T could feel her skin itching for a new tat. Now that her and Hap were on good terms again she wondered if she should ask him to add two more. She shoved that thought away for later use, after all she had time and she didn't need to be in no rush.

"I know that you two have tough times ahead of you. I know that you have a lot to discuss, some of it will be bad and some of it not so bad. You need to get through the bad before you can reach the good. Get it all out, make peace with your past demons of they will haunt you." Momma said gripping T's had tightly. Hap and T shared a look before nodding.

T knew that shit with Hap was going to get real bad before it got better. They both had a shit load of anger built up and it had to come out. T wasn't sure if she should be worried or if she should be excited. Every time they fight, it turns her on. She was wondering if maybe it was time to actually do the deed with Hap. She had heard good things about him, things she really didn't want to know but the crow eaters talked too much and too loud. She really didn't want to know about the weird shit that Tig liked but while they were in lock down in charming she learned way more about that sick mans sexual likes that she ever wanted too. Some of the girls thanked her after a night with Hap, after she had rejected him and some of them walked funny and were in pain and hated her after. Hap was real hit or miss and a lot of those girls were willing to take a chance and hoped for a good night not a bad one. They all always came back though. T figured that it would best to just do it because maybe there love was based off the fact that they never had. Maybe it wasn't even love but lust and sexual tension.

Hap stood up and hugged his mom, before taking a step back and allowing T to do the same.

"Go easy on him." Momma whispered in her ear.

T straightened up and nodded her head in response. Hap flung his arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the building and back towards his bike. T slide her helmet on and joined Hap on the bike. She clung to him tightly as he took off. At the current moment she was in dire need of a cigarette and she really wished she would of brought a bottle because there were a lot of ways this talk could go and some jack might help. No she shook her head, this could lead to a fight and she needed to be on her game. The ride to their spot seemed to go by way too fast for her likening but she climbed off the bike after Happy. It was now of never and this talk needed to be had, everything needed to be put out in the open. T pulled her smokes and lighter out of her bag. She lit one up before looking up at Happy.

"No weapons. I don't know how this is going to go but I know the rules. If I get mad enough to hit you I know that you will hit me back. Just try to not hit me in the face. Don't want to have to explain that. Good?" She asked as she slid her knife out of her boot and placed in her bag with her gun and set them on the ground. _Just going stand here and watch me burn…._

-LK-

Hap was shocked at her statement. No weapons, and no hitting in the face. He really hoped that it wouldn't come to that, but it had before. T and him had thrown hands a couple times, none of them pretty. Not a lot of people knew about them actually having fought the couple times it had almost gotten to that point with people around they got thrown in the ring with the gloves on or pulled away from each other to calm down. Two killers like them, maybe they didn't belong together. Their anger scared a whole hell of a lot of people. The only time T's anger never came out was around Ana and Junior. Hap was ashmed that he couldn't control his anger enough not to hit T back, but she knew what she was doing he had warned her the first few times. Hap kind of learned that she seemed to enjoy it or need it, the violence. It was scary but true, because as they both killed their emotions the only thing that always felt as strong was anger. With them the anger was always tense and seemed to turn sexual. In fact the few times that they had almost had sex had been after a bad fight, the lust that poured off of them was extreme and the sexual tension between the two was ridicules.

T is in no way a soft person, she loved everything to be hard and demanding. A few times Hap and slammed her into a door with his hand on her throat, were the times that she kissed him like the world would end if she didn't. Hap could see it now, her on her knees with him behind her a hand wrapped in her hair as he slammed unforgivingly into her. Hard and fast and rough the way she had always said she liked it. T wasn't a princess and she wasn't a prude but she had pride, too much pride and way too much control. Hap could get that she would want to lose some of that at some point. Her control was outstanding, she never got lost in the haze of lust or hate. Her head stayed clear, even when Hap himself because fuzzy.

Hap slid his gun out of the holster and placed it in the saddle bag of his bike. He bent over and took the knife out of his boot and added it to the bag with the gun. He took a long drag before turning back towards T.

Her back was to him as she stood next to the rail looking out over the mountains. Washington was beautiful and this spot helped them both find a peaceful place in their world of chaos. It wasn't anything special, just a road a little way off the highway. Just a rail to keep people from falling off, but it was theirs. It wasn't tainted by the bloodshed of their everyday life and the only bad memory for them it held was of when Hap finally told her he was going nomad.

"You know, I come here sometimes. When I cant seem to find peace anywhere else. I only ever do it while your on the road so I know that I wont run into you. I find that his place gives me peace and haunts me every time. Sometimes I cant even bear to stop or even look at this road when I drive past. We have a lot of memories, both good and bad. All of the good was always shared here, even when you told me you decided to go nomad. I was never mad at you for that, I didn't want to hold you back in life. I want you to have whatever it is you want. I didn't know until looking at our book that what you really want is me." T said to him, her back still turned.

Hap took a long drag of his cigarette and let her words settle between them. He was never good with words or feelings but right now the fate of his future depended on it. At least a future that held more than death anyways.

"I know, it's the same for me" He finally responded.

"I'm not ready to give it back yet." She stated as she turned to face him. The sun was setting and she looked even more beautiful with the fading light behind her.

"Okay" he stated simply

"You know I hated you. I hated you so much that I couldn't even stand to look at you anymore. I told myself over and over that I didn't love you. That you were a piece of shit and everything else, until Mac and I talked I really thought that I didn't love you anymore. I looked for and I looked deep, it was still there buried under a whole hell of a lot of hate, anger and lies but it was there. I still hate you because I hate myself"

Hap stared at her blankly. He was trying to keep his anger down because nothing she said really made him feel any better.

"Whats the point of this than if you hate me?"

T shrugged her shoulders.

"Answer me damn it! If you fucking hate me so much why the hell are we here? You keep doing this you play these stupid little kid fucking games with me. I know you fucking love me. I know that it hurts that I left you to go nomad. I fucking cant stand all the games you play. Your nothing but a bitch and a whore. You care of no ones feeling but your own. You're a selfish bitch." He said his words laced with venom.

_Just gonna stand there hear me cry…_

Hap didn't move in time as her fist collided into his side. She swung again and Hap dodged it, throwing out his own punch into her thigh. He watched her leg falter instead of watching her hands as they came down in two strong blows to his back. She brought the leg up that he hit and kneed him in the stomach. At that moment he was so mad, all he saw was red as he laid his next punch. She stumbled backwards slightly before using her body weight to throw her next punch which landed into his face. He grabbed her hands as she went to swing again, twisting them so they were behind her back. She struggled and almost got free as she let lose one of his hands. He had both of her skinny wrists in one hand as he brought the other around the front of her body. He placed his hand on her neck and pushed her body closely into his.

"Stop fighting me." He said gruffly into her ear.

_You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em_

"Why do you always do this? Does it make you feel better to hit me? Or for me to hit you? Does it make you feel better to hear me call you names and say shit I don't mean?" He whispered in her ear

_Now your in each others face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em…_

"Fuck you!" She spit out at him.

_You push, pull each others hair, scratch, claw bite 'em_

"Fine you might me to fuck you? You want me to take you right here in the fucking dirt?" He asked her while added pressure to her arms and making her sink onto her knees in pain. She didn't cry out though and her face showed no trance of pain. Hap got on her knees behind her and moved his hand from her throat to her jeans. _Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moment when you in 'em_

-LK-

T saw red as she listened to Hap call her names. She pushed and she wanted him to push her back. She knew that she was playing with fire but as he said those words she couldn't control herself as she swung on him. She was using full force blows but she knew that Hap wasn't. She had fought him many times, sometimes out of anger and sometime because of training. She couldn't be a killer and not know how to fight. She had dated guys in Carolina who hit her, and not because she hit them first. Hap never laid his hands on her until she started to get a big head and laid her hands on him. He first few times he warned her, but after that and she still hadn't learned he hit her back. She wasn't afraid of him, and he wasn't a woman beater. T knew what she was doing and in some ways she supposed she wanted it. She wanted him to hate her just as much as he loved her. She wanted him to feel the same way she did, the love and hate was so closely tied that at times she got the two confused. One minute she wanted to punch him and the next she want to fuck him. It was a never ending circle with her.

Its not a secret in the biker world that when their woman get out of control their man will slap them around. Everyone in the club knew that and every woman in the club was aware of what they were getting into. All of them except that doctor bitch in Charming. For T, she guessed it all went back to being a killer. The death and violence turned her on or made her happy or both. It was a part of her life, a major part. Even if it was sick and twisted.

_Because I like the way it hurts…._

Hap's blows had both landed in her legs, something that didn't surprise her. She knew that he hated when she pushed him that far. He hated ever laying his hands on her but he knew that she always let it go because after all she usually did more damage to him than he did to her. After all her momma had always told her, don't fight a man and expect him not to fight back.

She fell to her knees when he added more pressure to her arms.

_Now I know we said things, did things we didn't mean…_

T felt his hand move from her throat to her jeans. She felt the button pop and heard the zipper go down. She knew that if she wanted him to stop all she had to do was throw her head back into his. She didn't want him to stop though. Her anger turned to lust and he pulled her to her feet, still by the arms behind her back. She knew she would have bruises the next day on both her thighs and her arms, but at the moment she didn't care. It was a warm summer night with a cool breeze, her legs got covered in goose bumps as Hap pulled her jeans down. She stepped out of her shoes and jeans obediently, leaving her naked from the waist down. Hap still hadent let go of her arms but at the moment she was too distracted by his kisses on her neck to care. She didn't even feel the pain anymore, all she felt was warmth spreading through her body towards her center. She heard Hap's zipper come undone right before she felt his fingers enter her roughly. She moaned loudly with the contact.

"So fighting with me does turn you on?" He said gruffly

T didn't respond to his question just moaned louder as she thrust his fingers again. He applied pressure to her arms again.

"On your knees" he demanded.

She fell to them gently, already missing the contact of his fingers and so tempted to beg for something more but she held her tongue. She felt Happy behind her pulling down his own jeans. She felt his very hard cock slap against her ass as he lined up to her center. She was anxious and she knew he was as well, but he wanted to toy with her. She could tell. He took his free hand and wrapped it in her hair. She was uncomfortable and the only thing keeping her from falling face first as he shoved her to bend over was his hold on her hair and her hands. She wanted her arms back to hold herself up but she knew he wouldn't give them so she didn't even ask. He slammed into her hard, hard enough to push her body slightly forward. She screamed with pleasure as he did it again and again. Her arms were becoming numb and her neck hurt from being held back at an odd angle but she was too close to coming to care. She screamed for him to go faster and harder and he did. He let go of her hands and placed his own on her hip. She placed them on the ground as his relentless pounding continued. T knew that she was going to hurt in the morning, and she was sure that she would be walking funny but as her orgasm took over she didn't care. She was in the middle of coming when Hap took his hand off of her hip and put it at her neck, forcing her whole upper body to become aligned with his. He bit her neck hard, and she was sure there would be a bruise, along with a hickey she was sure he left from kissing her neck the first time. He put his lips up to her ear and whispered so quietly that if there would have been any other sounds around them aside from the their skin slapping, she wouldn't of heard him.

"I love you, always have always will. Never fucking forget that."

She felt him thrust hard two more times before he had an orgasm of his own, those two times brought on another one from her.

_But your tempers just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me. When it comes to love your just as blinded…._

-LK-

As they redressed, Hap looked over at T. She had a huge smile on her face, making him smile as well. Once she was dressed, Hap watched her walk towards him. He braced himself for another attack but instead she reached up and kissed him. They both took at seat on the grass, very near to the area that they had just did the nasty in.

"I love you too." T replied after a few moments of silence.

Hap threw his arm around her and pulled her close.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean those things." He replied

T nodded in response and looked at him. Hap studied her face, he could see the love in her eyes. It wasn't the god worship it had been, but it was there and stronger than it had ever been. He knew that she no longer thought of him as a god or a man with all the answers. Instead, he could tell she just thought of him as a man. A man who she loved and was an equal too for him that was better than the other way because in his eyes he would never deserve her but he wouldn't give her up.

Hap watched her flick her cigarette over the rail and did the same as he finished his.

"Heard that you put your vote for Charming transfer on hold, I know Charming wants you something bad." T said still staring out at the mountains.

"Yeah they do, and yeah I did." He replied.

"What happens if I choose you Hap? I want that future you drew out. I want the kids and the house with a porch swing. We aint getting any younger Hap, shit like that needs to happen soon."

Hap was quiet for a moment. He grew up in Tacoma. He also wanted to be closer to his mom and Charming was way closer. Charming had so much drama though, even more so now that Jax's doctor bitch was pregnant with a club baby, or so she says. Hap wasn't sure what he was going to do. For now he just wanted to stay nomad. He liked his freedom and he knew that T wouldn't really want to settle down in Charming. She would if that was what Hap wanted but he knew that it wouldn't be her first choice.

"I plan on staying nomad for a while. Charming's got too much damn drama but its closer to my ma. So I don't really know yet to be honest. If I said I was going to go and stay in charming would that take me off your list?" He asked

T looked at him for a long time. "I don't want you to make your choice based off of me. I want you to do what you feel is best for you."

Hap watched T stand up and brush off her pants. "We should probably head back dark and I'm dirty and tired."

Hap nodded and stood up with her. He grabbed her arm as she turned to walk back towards her bag. He pulled her close and kissed her. "Whatever I decided you will be the first to know." He said when he pulled away.

T didn't say anything as she turned around and headed for her bag. Hap headed for the bike and climbed on. He scooted forward as T climbed on a few seconds after him. He handed her, her helmet before putting on his own. Once her arms were wrapped tightly around him he started it up and took off. This time he actually placed his hand on hers.

-LK-

Glen, Jonny and Mac all glanced at the clock again. It was late they still weren't back yet. Jay and Zeke had already called twice each. Jonny paced the floor nervously.

"Chill man, I'm sure they didn't kill each other" Mac told him.

Mac, wasn't sure but he hoped that he was right. The loss of either of them would be great and the one who survived would be too fucked up in the head to do anything but feel guilty for the rest of their life. Mac was on his fifth beer when they heard the bike pull into the lot. All of them stood up and walked outside. They watched as T and Hap climbed off the bike and headed towards them. Hap flung his arm around T when they were half way across the parking lot and she shrugged it off. The three men watched as T kept walking but Hap stopped. In three long strides, Hap had his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

All men wore looks of shock on their faces as Hap leaned down and kissed her and she kissed him back before shoving him away. T kept walking towards them and Hap did it again.

"She's about to get pissed." Jonny said as he watched them.

This time as Hap leaned in to kiss her she slapped him, the sound echoing in the empty parking lot. All three men took a few steps closer to the pair.

"I've had enough of you hitting me today woman" they heard Hap say as he grabbed both of her hands and pulled her close.

They watched as T kept her head down, as Hap put his hand in her hair and yank her head back so she would be looking at him.

Mac could see the grip was tight enough that it was forcing her to keep her head angled up at him.

"Think we should break it up?" Glen asked looking at Mac and Jonny.

Jonny looked towards Mac, who still had his eyes on the pair.

"Not yet, we might be watching history in the making." Mac answered.

Jonny and Glen looked back towards the pair, T was still looking up at Hap because of the hand in her hair.

"Fuck you Hap" T said in a cold voice.

"I already did" He replied as she broke loose from his grip.

Mac could tell that it had already been a long night for both of them and that if it went on for a lot longer Hap was going to throw her over his shoulder and lock her in his dorm room. Mac watched as T stormed away from him. Hap wasn't done yet though. As T walked towards them, the men stayed focused on Hap who was fastly approaching her. T had almost reached them by the time Hap reached her. Hap grabbed her arm and dodged as she swung her free arm. Hap grabbed the hand that just swung at him and started to push her backwards towards were the guys were standing.

"Move" they heard Hap say loudly.

All three men moved sideways and allowed Hap to push T through the now open space and right into the wall. His arm was at her throat while his other hand was holding hers together.

"Now that you cant run away would you like to explain to me what the fuck your problem is?" He asked

_Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean, but we feel into the same pattern same routine. _

-LK-

T stared at Hap, her wrist still hurt from having been behind her back for so long, and she knew now that he had a tight hold on her again that the bruises would be even worse. His arm at her throat wasn't hurting her but it was keeping her in place. She thought over his question.

"Our business is our business. I don't need the whole club knowing what goes on between us. On top of that, I guess its just an old habit that's hard to break. I haven't made a choice yet and you know Glen is going to go back and tell Florida everything. Besides I never seen you want to show now PDA with anyone but me, what the hell is up with that?" T asked

"Because I only love you and I don't give a fuck who knows it. I'll call Florida myself and tell him I fucked you. I don't give a fuck what they think." He said as he let go of her wrists and moved his arms. He placed both of his arms on the wall on either side of her. He leaned down and kissed her before shoving off the wall and walking into the clubhouse, leaving four silently shocked people behind him.

_Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the drywall…._


	15. Get off on the Pain

**An: So here is the next chapter. I might have to make things interesting when she goes to Florida because she is leaning way too close to Hap. After all I still haven't decided where I want her to end up. **** Thanks for reading and thank you to the few that reviewed. Also for any of you looking for a good story you should check out the collaboration by BG.0715. The parker sisters are even more awesome than T. I think anyways **

T stared at the clubhouse door for a few minutes. She couldn't decide if she wanted to go in there and say something or not. She felt Jonny's arm lay on her shoulder.

"Long night little sis?" He asked.

T turned and flashed me a smile before shrugging his hand off of her shoulder and walking towards her car.

"Later guys" She yelled out before climbing in her car.

-LK-

Mac, Glen and Jonny all watched T take off out of the parking lot. Mac was pretty sure that he saw a bite mark and a hickey on T's neck and though he didn't get a good look at Hap he was pretty sure that his cheek would be bruised from where T slapped him. Mac knew though from Hap's words that it wasn't the first time T had hit Hap that night. Mac knew that they had fought before and their fights were never pretty. Mac had walked into one, on accident one time and he was too shocked to do anything but stare.

It wasn't that Mac had never seen T fight before because everyone had, and they had all seen her and Hap fight in the ring as well, but when her and Hap were fighting it was the look on Hap's face that threw Mac off course. T had a big head and she wasn't afraid of anything but she knew that if she got to big, someone would knock her down. Mac had never seen anyone raise a hand towards her and be able to walk away except for Hap. Hap had told Mac once that he had warned T three separate times about putting her hands on him. The fourth time it happened he hit her back. Now, T knew the way it was and she knew that laying her hands on Hap was giving him permission to lay his on her.

Mac followed Jonny and Glen into the clubhouse. Hap was sitting at the bar with two shots and a beer. Mac watched Hap slam the two shots as Glen and Jonny took a seat next to him.

"Hows momma?" Glen asked Hap.

"She's good" Hap replied taking a pull of his beer and motioning for two more shots.

"Long night brother?" Glen asked again.

"You have no fucking clue." Hap said and inclined his head towards Mac.

Mac got what Hap was trying to say. It had led to a fight, a bad one. Mac could tell as he looked Hap over, that at some point he ended up on the ground. His pants were all dirty and the poor man just looked like he wanted to get drunk and pass out.

"T leave than?" Hap asked Mac.

"Yeah, she stood shocked staring at the door a little bit though." He replied

"Good. She's got a lot of shit she needs to think about and I really don't want to fight with her no more." Hap replied.

All three men looked at Hap than.

"That bad?" Jonny asked

Hap stood up and pulled his shirt up. You could already see the darker bruises forming on this ribcage. He slipped off his cut and pulled his shirt off and you could see that he would have bruises on his back as well. There was a cut on his neck and it looked to be from T's nails.

Glen whistled "I'm surprised that she is still walking."

Hap shot a glare at him. "I hate when she does this shit. I don't like putting my hands on her. She likes to push me though, I think she likes it."

Hap stood up than, he grabbed his cut and walked towards his dorm. "Oh and Glen she's got a few bruises of her own, plus I fucked her in the dirt." He shouted out behind him.

-LK-

Zeke was sitting at the bar at his clubhouse when Glen called.

"Whats up brother?" Zeke asked

"Well they got back about an hour ago and got into a fight in the parking lot." Glen replied

"What?" Zeke asked

"It wasn't their first fight of the night either. Hap's all bruised up, but I'm sure that T is too. She has to come into the shop tomorrow she's working in the office for Sarah, so I will get a good look at her than. Neither one of them really said nothing about what they talked about what I do know that Hap told her that he loves her in front of all of us, which was a shock. Oh and they fucked in the dirt at least that's what Hap said."

"They always fight like that?" Zeke asked, ignoring the part about the sex.

"Not always but its not the first time either. T's got a short fuse and she's got too big of a head, she pushes Hap and he pushes back." Glen replied with a sigh.

"So, what about D?" Zeke asked

"Still seems to be all up in air. Mac's pretty sure she still hasn't made a choice." Glen added "Well I'll see you in a week and I will call you tomorrow on how T looks but I'm pretty sure she's still going to have some bruises next week while shes there."

"Well thanks for the heads up man. Talk to you tomorrow." Zeke said before hanging up himself.

Jay looked over at his prez. "Whats up?" he asked

"That was Glen, apparently T and Hap got into it and this isn't the first time. She might have some bruises while she's here." Zeke replied

"They actually fought? This isn't the first time?" jay repeated.

"Yep, They fought in the parking lot at the clubhouse but the worst of the fight happened before they even got back. Hap's all bruised up, Glen didn't get a real good look at T since is dark and she didn't come inside. He said he'll call tomorrow and let me know how she looks."

"Damn, that isn't healthy."

"Yeah but it's the way shit works in the club, and it's the way shit works when you put two violent people together and add emotions. At some point that could be D and her. Glen said that T pushes Hap to that point. He thinks she gets off on the pain or something."

"Damn, that girls is fucking crazier than we thought."

"It's not really how she used to be, now she's just a violent person. It happens when you become a killer. I've watched good guys turn crazy because of that shit. Like John Teller. Killing makes you lose part of who you are and that girl has killed more people than the years she lived. Some people handle it different, take D or Koz of example. They still feel good as much as they feel the bad, hap and T feel the bad more than they feel the good. Only thing keeping that girl sane is Ana, at least until she has her own kids. She'll change when she does, her heart is too good for her not too. Killing is really a man's job, a lot of women would of already gone crazy doing what she does."

Jay nodded, him and D had a long talk the night before. Jay was deciding if he should share or not when Zeke asked

'So what you and D talk about?"

"he said that he isn't sure how he feels. Said T is a great person but I think his pride hurts too much to put too much effort into trying to fix it. He will though because he needs to fix his pride. I don't think she's going to be coming to Florida for good though. D will survive.'

Zeke nodded his head. "Might be better that way."

-LK-

Marcy and Lonnie were sitting on the couch when T walked in. The girls hadn't seen each other in forever but they knew that T was going with Hap to visit his mom today.

"How's momma Maddie doing?" Marcy shouted out to T.

"She's good." T shouted back out from the kitchen.

After a few moment T came out of the kitchen with a drink and a ice pack and took a seat on the couch. Marcy and Lonnie both glanced from the TV to her. Both of them tired to control their gasp of surprise when they saw her. She had hand shaped bruises forming on her wrists, and there was a hickey, a bite mark and a bruise forming on her neck.

"get into a fight with Hap again?" Marcy asked after a moment.

"Yep, and we had sex." T replied as she took a swig out of her glass.

"What?" both girls asked at the same time.

T laughed. "We. Had. Sex."

"was it good?" Lonnie asked eyeing her neck.

"The best." T replied as she slammed back the rest of her drink.

"I always figured that you would end with Hap, even after the whole thing with D. You and Hap just fit." Marcy confessed after a few moments.

T and Lonnie both stared at her with looks of shock on their face.

"What? D was too nice, and Koz is too wordy. Hap, I knew from the moment I saw the two of you in the same room that you would end up together. Think about it. Really think about it. I mean you guys fight and I know that you get off on that T. D or Koz would feel too damn bad after they hit you. Hap feels bad but he warned you a shitload of times about it. You like to push him. You get off on the pain." Marcy replied.

After a few moments, Lonnie nodded. "Shes right Tay."

T stared at her friends. She thought back through her whole life and she realized that they were right. T nodded her head and stood up.

"Well I'm going to bed, got to go to the shop in the morning." T told them before heading towards her room.

"She needs to slow down though before she kills herself." Lonnie said.

"Hap wont let her die and she wont go down without a fight. She loves Ana too damn much to leave her behind." Marcy replied before turning back to the TV. Tay was a big girl no one would be able to make her change her mind once it was set. She just hoped that shit cleared up soon. She was happy that T was gaining a clear head finally, she wanted it to stay that way. Florida didn't sound like such a good idea.

-LK-

T climbed out of her car and walked towards the office. She was wearing a tank with a hoodie over it. You could clearly see the hickey, the bit mark and a hand shaped bruise on her neck. She had dark purple, almost black, handprint bruises on her wrists. There was also a slight bruise forming on her hip as well as two large ones, one on each leg from where Hap had hit her back. Other than that she was fine and she felt happily blissful. She got fucked the way she liked it the night before. She also got to see momma and have a good chat with Hap. She was still in shock that he said he loved her loud enough for other people to hear, but she kind of figured that Hap did that so Glen would relay info to D or the Florida charter.

Glen was sitting behind the desk in the office, while Jonny and Mac were standing by the wall. T shot them a smile.

"Morning guys, Glen your in my seat." She said making them all laugh and Glen stood up moving over to the wall that Mac and Jonny were leaning against.

"Let me see how bad it was" Jonny said to her before she took her seat.

"What?" T replied sitting down and turning towards her cousin.

"Let me see the rest of your bruises. I can see the ones on your neck. Wait is that a bite mark and a hickey?" Jonny said moving closer.

"If I show you, will you get out of this damn office and leave me alone? I'm sure Hap probably looks worse than me. You know how he feels about hitting woman." She replied before standing up and unzipping the hoodie. She pulled it off and put her hands out in front of her. Jonny took them and looked at her wrists.

"You must of really pissed him off" Glen replied looking over Jonny's shoulder.

"Always do, everyone says I must like it, I guess I get off on the pain because last night was the best sex of my life." T sang out hoping to gross them out.

"Hap said that he thought you got off on the pain. What did the girls say?' Mac asked, still positioned on the wall.

"Marcy said she always thought I would end up with Hap. She said that Koz is too wordy and D is too nice. She said I get off on the pain that's why I push him to the point of it turning physical. My guess it that is got to do with me becoming the little killer. I try so hard to be like Koz but truthfully I am more like Hap. I don't feel the good as much as the bad. My only bright spots are Ana and Junior." She replied before taking her hands from Jonny's grip and putting the hoodie back on.

"Chill out Jonny, I've gotten worse before." T replied while turning on the computer and going through the files on the desk. The three men just sat and watched her.

"Okay I showed you, now get out of my damn office or you three can do the paper work and I can go home and go back to bed." She said sending a glare their way from over the top of the file she was reading.

All three men nodded and left the office. T let out a huge sigh of relief and began looking through the computer. She was looking over some number Sarah had wanted her to take a look at when the phone rang.

"Tacoma Auto, this is Taylor speaking how can I help you?"

-LK-

Hap was working on a car when he heard the click, click, click of T's heels on the floor. He turned around and sure enough there she was. He looked at her neck, he was proud of the hickey and the bite mark, not so much of the bruise though. Hap shook his head, Mac had just told him that T gets off on the pain. He already knew that though. He could tell she didn't even bother trying to cover them up. To him it seemed like she wore the proudly. Hap looked around and noticed that all of the other guys in the shop were looking at her as well. One of the auto guys yelled out

"Hey T, get in to a fight with Hap again?" he asked with a laugh.

T flicked him off "Someone needs to run a tow."

All of the guys looked around before going back to work. Hap looked at her.

'Here I'll do it, just give me five minutes to finish this and then I'm gone."

T walked over and handed him the slip. At the last minute Hap changed his mind and grabbed her arm. He pulled her too him and leaned down. He kissed his marks before whispering in her ear.

"I want a kiss and if you slap me again last night is going to look so good compared to what I do to you."

He felt her shiver in his arms. He took that as a yes and leaned down to kiss her. When she pulled away she looked conflicted. Hap could feel all of the guys watching them, waiting to see if she was going to smack him. T shook her head, roughly dragged her arm from him and stalked back off towards the office. Hap slipped the paper into his pocket and turned back to the car. He didn't even hear Mac approach. Hap saw him though when he shut the hood and wiped his hands off on a rag.

"Your breaking her walls man. I really thought she was going to slap you. Whatever your doing its working." Mac said patting him on the shoulder before walking away.

Hap couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. If only he would of done all that before, they wouldn't be going through this now. She would already be his and probably pregnant with his baby.

-LK-

D sat at the bar, a girl on each side of him and a beer in hand. He wanted to be pissed that T had slept with Happy but he couldn't. After all he had fucked so many different women in the past month that he had no room to be pissed. T was a big girl and she made her own choices, Glen said that T had dark bruises on her wrists from where Hap grabbed her. That did piss D off, you shouldn't treat your women like that. He knew though that T liked it rough. D was worried because Glen said that T must get off on the pain, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to do that to her. At least he hoped that he wouldn't. Glen said that it all falls back on the violence that is part of her everyday life. Like any guy, T got off on the kill. It was crazy for D to think of a girl being able to do what she does and still be part of the way sane. T was wild, crazy and extremely free spirited. She didn't need a man to take care of her and D liked to be needed. His pride hurt but he didn't think that he would be able to give T what she needed. Which he felt said a lot about him as the Florida SAA. Sure he had the strength to be the killer and Zeke's body guard but he didnt think he could be what T needed. Maybe he was too nice or too good hearted but he thought that women should be treated the best way a man possibly could.

D was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the chicks get up and Jay take the seat to his left.

"I know what your thinking, but you need to understand that T has spent the last four almost five years of her life proving that she is as good as any man in this club. She's worked hard and done a lot of fucked up shit to prove it but she did. The violence is now such a huge part of her life that its become a large part of who she is. It partially describes her as a person. Its not your fault that she can be too much to handle and that doesn't make you a softy. Stay out of your head bro. When she comes down here do what you feel is right. Maybe its her and maybe its not, you wont really know until you two are face to face again. A lot of shit can change in a month bro. It might seem like T has gotten it all together but she hasn't, she needs an anchor, Ana isn't strong enough to hold T down on her own. Mac's trying to help and so is Jonny but she needs someone to be up close and personal. The fact that Jax's Dr bitch is still alive is proof that you can do that. Sure she gets off on the pain but that doesn't mean you have to physically hurt her, seemed like your ruff sex worked just a well."

"She had ruff sex with Hap too."

"Yeah after they fought, we didn't know if we should tell you or not but we figured that you needed to really know what you were up against if you really wanted her back. If your not 100 percent about it now and when she gets here your still not sure, let it go. You don't need the drama, she doesn't want it and this club cant afford it. You need to do whats best for you and this club. Sure T would be a great asset but theres no guarantee that she would even come here. Ana is that girls world and T wont go too far from her."

"Your right bro."

"Just trying to help man, I know that your pride hurts but you're at fault for that too. Not just her. You should of spoke up and asked her to come to Florida and shit would of turned out way different. Mac says that she had a lightness around you. You made her want to be a better person, to try and live her life the way she was supposed to, not as the little killer but as an old lady."

"And what does Mac say about Hap and her?"

"Not much, said Hap makes her a better killer. He said that Hap keeps her grounded and clear mind. You know even when we get lost in the haze of the blood lust and the kill, T stays focused. Mac said he's never seen someone stay as clear headed in a kill as her. She never loses her focus not even when the kill is done. Said he has never seen her as confused as she did when she came home for the Bahamas. Mac isn't too sure who she's going to pick. He doesn't even have a guess, all he says is he's betting on Ana. Lots of other guys are betting on this too. Bets are due on the first day that Ana goes back to school."

"who do you think your going to bet on?"

"I'll know by the time she leaves here."

"True."

Jay got up than and walked back towards the pool table and got in a game with Austin. D stayed where he was. He slammed his beer before looking around. He found a cute girl a motioned her over. After he got another beer he flung his arm around her shoulder and lead her back towards his dorm room. For now D was going to get his, he would worry about his future with T later.

-LK-

**Hoping to have the road trip start next chapter, but I just cant get over how much I love T and Hap together. I really don't even want T to go to Florida anymore, but she wants her car back damn it **

**Xxx Taylor aka Laylasmommy3 **


	16. Can you do That? Road Trip part 1

**AN: So this is the start of the road trip. Well I skipped writing about Disney since I haven't been there in years. It starts on the drive to see the Florida guys. Someone commented one of my stories, I believe it was Becoming a Killer, and said that T is always attracted to men with strong personalities. Well there are about to be some more men with strong personalities coming up and one of the men who has a strong personality is someone you might not expect it to be. I hope you enjoy it. 3 **

T smiled as she pulled the rental car away from the hotel. Disney had been a lot of fun and even though Ana thought she was too old for Disney, she realized that she still had time to be kid. T had wanted that for Ana that's why they went to Disney in the first place. Ana had her whole life left to grow up. T had grown up to quickly after the death of her mother. T wondered a lot after she had first become the little killer, if her life would of taken the turn it had, if her mother was still alive. She shook her head quickly. Her mother was probably frowning deeply from heaven, ashamed of her and if T was honest she was ashamed of herself as well. If there really was a heaven, T wouldn't be granted entrance. She knew that in the beliefs of the church, she was damned. T didn't believe in that though, who knows what happens after we die? Maybe something huge or maybe nothing at all, besides it was too late for her to worry about that now. Shaking her head free from that train of thought she glanced at Ana.

Ana had on a pair of shorts and a tank top, her hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her hair. She Ed Hardy glasses matching T's, in fact Ana and T were dressed the same. The messy bun was something that T had mastered growing up. It was fast and easy and if you did it right, it still looked classy. It took maybe three minutes to do and lasted the whole day. She had been teaching Ana how to make her hair look the same way, since Ana had begged to get her hair cut like T's. From the back they looked the same, like sisters even from the front you could defiantly tell that they are related. Their side fringe bags hanging slightly over their sunglasses, they had the same strong cheek bones and jaw, both common among the West family traits. T smiled as Country Strong came on the radio, she turned it up and flashed a smile at Ana as they both sat up straighter and started singing.

-LK-

Ana smiled as she watched her aunt sing along with the radio, being in Florida and on this road trip she saw the country side of her aunt. Ana knew that T had grown up in a small town, she knew that at one point her great grand parents had owned a farm. It was weird and cool at the same time to see her aunt, her role model as who she had been. Ana didn't remember a lot before T had come to live with them in Tacoma. They had pictures of T and Ana's dad, younger versions of them riding a tractor and riding horses. Ana was a wondering if T was going to ditch her flip flops and sneakers for a pair of cowboy boots by the time they got to Carolina.

T changed the station from the country music they had been listening to. Ana took the IPod T was handing over and flipped through the songs. She picked on and let it play out. She looked out the window and watched the world pass by. They were headed for the Florida charter now, so T could get her car and return the rental. Ana was happy, extremely so to be starting their road trip. Disney was fun and after getting there and seeing the adults having fun, Ana didn't feel like it was just for babies anymore.

T had tried to get them a hotel room for the two nights that they would be in Son's territory again, but Mom and Ronnie both threw a huge fit. So T caved and they would be staying with Zeke and Ronnie. Ana could tell that it made T nervous to be staying there. She had fought hard but eventually gave in. When Ana had asked her about it, she had replied." You know how those two are, having them both gang up on you is horrible. I gave in just so I didn't have to hear about it anymore."

Ana wasn't sure why it made her so uncomfortable, but it had T stretched thin. T being nervous made Ana nervous as well, and she wasn't sure that they would end up making it the two nights and three days it was supposed to be. Ana smiled at the thought, she didn't want to stay there any longer than necessary. She wanted to get on the road, she wanted T to put the sun roof down in her car as they sped down the highway. She wanted to go to Carolina and see where her dad and T had grown up. She was excited to see her uncle, even though she knew her dad and her aunt didn't like him much. Ana was hoping that he still had horses. T had taken her riding a few times and Ana wanted to go again.

"You think uncle still has the horses?" Ana asked

T looked away from the road and smiled at her.

"I know he does, he couldn't get rid of them even though they remind him of me and momma. He loves them just as much as we do." T replied.

Ana got a huge smile on her face, she thought her aunt was starting to get an accent. Her dad did sometimes, when he talked to her grandparents or when he and T talked about Carolina. Hopefully four days and they would be there. Ana would give up almost the whole rest of her road trip if that meant she got to spend a week riding horses.

-LK-

D paced the floor nervously. He knew that T was on her way to the clubhouse. Every single doubt he had about not loving her and negative thing he had thought had flown out the window that morning when he woke up. He knew that seeing her would make him fall in love all over again. T was like a drug, a poison that you could never get rid of. She stuck with him, and he was pretty sure that she stuck with every man who's heart she had touched. She was wild and unpredictable but she was tactical, smart and beautiful. She had the purest heart he had ever seen, even after all the killing she had done. He wasn't sure how her heart was still pure, he would even bet that those kills didn't touch her soul. T was like an angel sent down to show them all that even though life is full of bad shit, good is real and it is possible.

-LK-

Jay watched D pace the floor, he watched Austin bite his nails as he pretended to look at his computer, and Zeke smoked a whole pack of smokes since T had called and let them know that they were on the way. They would be there within the hour. Jay wanted to laugh at all of them, they were nervous about one woman and a girl. He knew it wasn't really a laughing matter but still T was still T, scary or not. Okay she was scary as hell and she would be on full protection mode with Ana with her and Jay was pretty sure that it didn't help that Ronnie was basically forcing T to stay at their place. That was going to be the worst, T was not happy about that at all. Glen had made that very clear when he showed up yesterday. He said that he watched T and Sarah argue about it and had been there when Sarah cornered T and made her listen to what Ronnie said. Glen said he was surprised that the phone had survived that one. He also said that it took an hour for them to get her out of the ring after that and that she was still looking for a fight. He left out the details if she got one or not, Jay was sure that if she did it was with Hap and behind closed doors.

Jay was worried about how this was going to go down. T was logical and she would listen to what they had to say but he wasn't sure if it would make any difference or not. Jay kind of wished that he would of went for her now instead of letting D live out his obsession, T was too much for him. It was kind of sad to admit since he was supposed to be their strength, but D had a white knight complex that didn't appeal to T at all. T wasn't a damn princess and she didn't want to be treated like one, Jonny had said that T had never really been the princess type not even as a little girl. He said that any sight of it died the same day that her mom did. T needed to be an equal, she needed someone that wasn't afraid of her and if they were didn't show it. D wasn't that man for her but their charter really could use her.

Jay had been so lost in thought that he didn't even notice Glen take the seat next to him. He turned and looked at him before taking a slug out of his beer.

"I know what your thinking and its probably the truth. D will never be able to lock her down, like Koz they are too good hearted. You would think that with a heart like T's she should have a good hearted man but she doesn't work that way. She needs someone that feels the same darkness she feels. To be honest, I think that while she gives Hap the light he needs he absorbs her darkness. I don't know for sure but that's what I think. That and she gets off on the pain and some men in the club cant handle it, just like some woman cant handle it. I think that T has always had a thing for men with strong personalities, I mean her dad is a lawyer and I've meet the man, he has a strong personality. All of the West clan does, even Ana and little Junior." Glen said

"Yeah, I've noticed. I feel like this is all my fault though because I should of took her instead of letting D fulfill his fantasy. I mean the bitch is scary but I'm better at hiding the fear than D is." Jay replied

Jay said nothing as he watched Glen look him over, than think something over in his mind. Jay nursed his beer and lit a cigarette. He was pretty sure he heard a car and after a few moments he heard two car doors slam. All the heads in the clubhouse turned towards the door. If the whole place hadn't went quiet, Jay was sure that he would of missed what Glen said.

"The only men in this world she doesn't scare has to be God and the Devil, and even then I'm not sure."

-LK-

Ana watched her aunt as they pulled into the clubhouse parking lot. She noticed that her hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, so much that her knuckles had turned white. Ana knew that something big was going to go down. She just hoped that she was present when it did because the only hope T had at staying sane was her. Ana knew better though and she knew that when T got close to losing it, she would have Ana taken out of there. Ana had never seen T freak out, except at the lock down in Charming. That whole lock down had been a disaster and so stressful for Ana, her mom and T that Ana would be happy to never step foot in that clubhouse again.

"Ready baby?" T asked, hand on the door handle.

Ana put her glasses on top of her head and nodded. They opened their doors at the same time. Ana held her breath. She hoped that they would all come out to meet them, but it was looking like they would have to go in. Ana closed her door and a moment later T closed her own. Ana heard the beep from T locking the doors. She was sure that everyone knew they were here, and she knew from the bikes lined up that most of the club or the whole club was there. She spotted Glens bike in the line up.

"What's Glen doing down here?" Ana asked.

Ana couldn't tell what T was thinking with her eyes still behind her sunglasses but she wasn't sure if this was going to be a good or bad thing.

"Your dad didn't tell you?"

Ana shook her head. She heard T cuss her dad under her breath.

"They are betting on me, so be prepared to be spoiled. They think that you're the deciding factor. Jonny told me he would tell you. I think this whole thing is ridiculous but you will get some free stuff out of it." T replied.

Ana smiled, her dad didn't explain it all just said that Ana would probably be getting special treatment and she had. From the boys back home, and since they all thought that she was T's deciding factor for whatever she was sure that the same would happen here.

"Might not be a bad three days after all" Ana said in reply, making T laugh.

They meet at the front of the car and T put her arm around Ana in a protective gesture. It made Ana feel better knowing she was about to walk into a clubhouse with a bunch of men she didn't know. That made her nervous but she knew that no one would touch her. T would kill anyone who tried.

-LK-

T said nothing as she and Ana walked to the clubhouse door. T could feel her gun ice cold against her back, it was comforting considering she hadn't had it on her person for the past couple days. She was pretty sure that she wouldn't need to use it but one could never be too sure. She was just lucky that she had a permit for it was able to bring it or she would have felt real naked without it. It sucked going through security but it was worth it in the end. She let her hand fall from Ana's shoulder. Ana grabbed her hand and T squeezed lightly to let her know she was there and nothing would happen while she was. T pushed the door open. She didn't even flinch when all the eyes and the place turned onto them. T had Ana hidden slightly behind her.

"T, Ana! Its about damn time!" Glen shouted from his spot next to Jay. T nodded to him. She saw Ana wave and smile out of the corner of her eye.

T looked around the clubhouse. Everyone was here, except for Ronnie. T didn't say anything though. She could really use a beer and a smoke. She reached down and linked her hand with Ana's again and led her towards the table Jay and Glen were sitting at. Glen smiled at her as she pulled out the chair next him. She motioned for Ana to sit.

"What something to drink baby girl?" T asked Ana.

Ana nodded and T walked off towards the bar. She smiled at the prospect. The same one that had been there before, she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"can I have a beer and whatever non-diet soda you have please?" T asked him.

"No walker today?" He asked

T shook her head as she lit a cigarette. She stood, back facing everyone her arms resting on the bar. She did it as a show of respect and to prove she had no fear. She heard someone approach and waited until they reached the bar to look at whoever it was. She wasn't surprised to find Zeke standing next to her. She slid her sunglasses atop her head and turned to face him.

"Hey doll, how was the drive?" Zeke asked

"It was good sugar thanks for asking" T replied before reaching for the beer that had just been placed before her. She winked at the prospect before picking it up and taking a swig.

"I was going to come and talk to you but I wanted to get Ana seated and comfortable first. Plus I really needed a smoke" T added when she noticed Zeke was waiting for her to say more.

Zeke nodded and put his arms out for a hug. T hugged him, they both knew it was a sign of forgiveness from both parties. Once they stepped away they both leaned on the bar.

"Your cars in the garage, Jay and Austin have been making sure that it stayed in good condition. Starting it and driving it around a couple times a week and keeping up on it."

T nodded in response. She was quiet as she watched Ana talk with Glen and Jay out of the corner of her eye, while she finished her smoke. She spotted D by the pool table staring at her, that made her nervous. She knew that they needed to talk but she wasn't sure she wanted to do that now.

"where's Ronnie?" T asked as she put out her smoke and picked up the can of soda along with her beer.

"She'll be along soon, she's getting the house ready." Zeke replied, T was sure that she frowned but she walked towards the table Ana was sitting at anyways.

T placed the drink in front of Ana and kissed Glen and jay on the cheek. She took the sat next to Ana, leaving the one between her and Jay free. She figured that Zeke, Austin or D would take it up shortly. So she wasn't shocked when Austin slipped into it a few moments later. Everyone was quiet after T kissed his cheek as well.

"Well if this isn't awkward" Ana said breaking the silence

-LK-

D had stood silently by the pool table he moved to the moment he heard the car pull up. He watched T and like he thought everything he had felt before she ran off came flooding back like a dam. He wasn't too surprised that she didn't say anything to him at all, but he had hoped that she would come and give him a hug and a kiss. He wanted everything to go back to the way it had been, before the big fuck up. He could tell by looking at her that she was stressed and that she didn't want to be there. It was written on her face plain as day for all to see. D thought it had something to do with Ana because after all the last time Ana had been in a strange clubhouse was during the Charming lock down, and that didn't go well.

D stood there lost in thought. His head flung to T's table when they all started laughing. He wanted to be a part of that again. Him, Jay, Austin and T had become some what of a team, the last time they were together. D shook his head free of the thought, T wasn't apart of their team. Shit he was pretty sure she wasn't apart of anyones team, well except for Marcy and Lonnie's. Speaking of them, he wondered how they felt about T hooking up with Happy. Last he knew, they could stand Happy and he thought of calling and asking them but he was pretty sure he was in the dog house with them too. Flipping his phone open he sent a text to Austin, asking him to bring it up with T.

D shot a meaning filled look at Austin when he looked up at him and shook his head no. He watched as Austin passed his phone to Jay. D wanted to flinch when T looked up at him, her eyes dark and dangerous looking. She had never looked at him like that before and that look was scary. D wondered if that's how she looked at Hap right before she started a fight with him. D watched as T snatched the phone from Jay as he went to give it back to Austin. She slammed her beer and stood up. Tossing the phone back to Austin, everyone looked at her. T patted Ana's shoulder as she walked by, she headed straight for D all of the men who had been by the pool table moved else where quickly. She stood next to him, lit a cigarette and pulled out her phone.

"Hey love, will you please tell D how you Lonnie feel about me and Happy? Oh and while your at it tell him you guys feel about me and him too, please?" T said into the phone.

D was sure he paled, he tried to pull a killer face when t held out the phone to him.

"Whats up Marcy?" D said into the phone.

"She's been there for an hour and you already started? This isn't going to end well for you. T and Hap are good for each other. She gets off on the pain and she needs to be her mans equal. You show to much fear and you have a knight in shinny armor complex that will never mix with T. As bad as this sounds your heart is too good for her, your too good for her, it will never work. She knows this, we knows this, all that's left is for you to know this. If she was different, if she was still Tay you two would have been perfect. But its not and shes not, Tay is dead all that is left is T. She has learned to live with it. Its time for the rest of us to as well." Marcy said, her voice quiet at the end.

"I don't think I can, I don't think that's true." D replied before handing the phone back to T and walking out of the clubhouse.

-LK-

Marcy sat on the couch, staring at her phone. She wasn't sure if she just broke D's heart or made him more determined to prove her and everyone else wrong. She let out a large sigh. She didn't want to believe what she said. She wanted Tay to come back, she wanted them to be the trinity again. Juive sucked and was also the best time of her life. They had been the trinity, afraid of no one and best friends by so much more than sharing a jail cell. They were alike and different in all the ways that matter and life without Tay was weird to her. Tay, T whatever she was mostly still the same but Marcy couldn't help but feel like they were growing apart in too many ways. Marcy wanted T to be with Happy, she wanted Ana to go back to school and she wanted T to come and work with them, leave the killing behind her. She wanted T to be happy, get married and have kids. She wanted that for all of them, and Marcy knew that's all T wanted for her and Lonnie as well.

Marcy wanted some peace, she knew that they would always have to watch their backs. She knew that the choices they had made in life had put them in danger for their futures but it was time to move on. They were twenty four, college gradutates with good jobs. Sure they would never be like their co-workers and they knew the field well from real life experiences not just book work. That was how they got the high marks, that was why they got good jobs. Their team would never be complete without T though. Marcy knew it, Lonnie knew, their professor knew it and so did their bosses. Marcy and Lonnie both worried that if T didn't join up with them soon, they would be downgraded or worse.

-LK-

T said nothing after D, not when he handed her the phone back, not when she put out her cigarette or even when she reclaimed her place at the table. She was tired and cranky and she wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. She wanted to get her car, leave this place and never look back. She didn't like hurting D or anyone in the Florida charter but she just didn't think that it was the place for her. She didn't belong there, D was too good for her. Shit the whole damn charter was. They wanted her, they needed her but than again so did every other damn charter in the whole club. She belonged in Tacoma, she belonged with Ana and her girls. She knew they were getting stress at their job, the professor had called her and told her that if the girls wanted to keep their positions T needed to join them. She needed to make them the team that they were meant to be and had been since they meet up in juvie.

T felt the pressure weighing down on her, she didn't think that she would last two nights with Zeke and Ronnie, she didn't think she would last three days with this club. She wanted to just do this and get it over with. She wanted to go on this trip with Ana, go home, figure shit out and start working with her girls like she was supposed too. She had a feeling though, that nothing would end the way it was supposed to, after all it never did.

-LK-

Happy sat on the couch at the Tacoma club house. He sat next to Koz. Maria sitting on his lap, just looking at the pair Hap could see how they were meant to be. Something that Hap never thought before, not before T. She was everything and nothing all wrapped into one pretty package. She drove him crazy and made him excited all at the same time. She was wild and sane, she made his world spin while being the only thing to keep him on the ground. Hap was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to even realize the girl that had sat next to him. He wasn't sure when her hand got on his thigh, but it had. Tempted to shove her off, he thought of T and what she might be doing with D and pulled the girl closer.

"Ladies" Koz said "How about you go and get us some beers?" he asked

The woman nodded and stood up. Happy looked at his best friend, not to sure why he just did that.

"Word travels fast Hap, I would almost bet my right nut that T isn't fucking D. This isn't the road this is her clubhouse too. Your signing your relationship and that whore's death warrant. I want you to know that. If you still want to fuck with her go for it, but if it comes back to bite you in the ass just know I told you so" Koz finished as the ladies came back with the beers.

Maria took her spot back up on Koz's lap. The chick took up the place she had before, her hand back on his thigh, very fucking close to his dick. Hap let Koz's words play in his head. Maybe he was right, but Hap figured a couple nights with the whore was nothing and if anything it would just lead to a fight with T. Since they fought and had sex Hap figured that the fight might be worth the sex he would get.

"Fuck it" he whispered as he took the girls hand and lead her to his dorm.

-LK-

As Maria slid off Koz's lap and headed with Rachel to the bar, she thought her words over very carefully. She knew she was lucky that T let her be with Koz, because if T would of wanted to she would be dead in a ditch somewhere. But T respected Maria, at least in some form or she would of never made it as far as she had. Maria knew that T was allowing her and Koz to be together, she knew that she could of got killed the second time she slept with him. T and Koz never had what T and Happy did though. Happy and T were an item even if it wasn't official yet and as much as Maria didn't like Rachel she didn't want to see the girl dead.

After Maria ordered the beers she turned to Rachel, only to find her staring at Hap.

"He's delious looking, I hear he is amazing in bed too." Rachel said.

Maria leaned up against the bar "I wouldnt know." She replied simply.

"Really? I thought that you always took them when T cast them aside?" Rachel said snidely.

"If I did do you think I would still be alive?" She asked Rachel, her distaste for the woman growing.

"I don't really think that T is that scary. Plenty of woman have been with Koz and Happy and their still alive. I saw you hitting on that Florida dude when every one knew he was after T. if she was going to kill you it would have been than."

"No, T asked me to do that. Look, T and Hap they are something serious. If you want to go for it go ahead, but I wouldn't make it more than a night and I wouldn't get no ideas about becoming his old lady. T finds out shes going to flip. So when shit goes south and your in a ditch or getting your face smashed in don't say I didn't warn you." Maria replied picking up the beers and heading back towards the guys.

Maria took her place back on Koz's lap. She watched Rachel out of the corner of her eye though. She noticed Koz doing the same. Shit was going to go south and bad when T found out. No one, would be able to stop her once she started, not Koz or Happy and Maria hoped that Rachel didn't end up dead.

She frowned when Hap took Rachel's hand and lead her back to the dorms. She shook her head and looked at Koz only to find him watching them as well.

"You warn her?" Koz asked simply

"Yep, shes a big girl shes going to do what she wants wither it ends her ass up in a ditch or not."

"I told him, but I think that he's itching for a fight. He'll get one alright when T gets home. I just hope that hes not ruining his chance with her." He replied before looking at Maria.

He leaned up and she leaned down and kissed him. Hap acting stupid wasn't there problem, but Maria just hoped that T didn't flip out on her for this. After all it was because of Maria being with Koz that the other girls were thinking T went soft.

-LK-

Ronnie walked into the clubhouse, surprised to see that D was already gone. Jay, Glen, Ana, T, Austin and Zeke were all sitting around a table, laughing. Ronnie looked closer and realized that T wasn't laughing or talking or saying anything at all. Ronnie could tell though by looking at her that she was upset. She walked over carefully, but T's head shot towards her.

"Hey baby. How was the drive?" Ronnie asked as T stood up to hug her.

"Long, this whole night has been long. If you would of took any longer I would have been going to a hotel." T replied.

Ronnie wanted to be mad at what she said, but she knew that T was forced into this by her and Sarah. She didn't want to fight with T anymore, because she knew that she would lose. T didn't like staying at places, in fact Ronnie was pretty sure that if she wouldn't of made her stay at the house that T would sneak off in the middle of the night. As it was T was leaned across the table talking to Jay about her car.

"Yeah come on, you drive the rental and I will drive my bike. We can come back here and get your car once that's done." Jay said.

Ronnie smiled, she knew that this was all apart of the plan. Jay needed to talk to T about D and the future of her in this charter. Ronnie didn't envy Jay though, she knew that he felt a lot of guilt in allowing D to go after her when it should have been him. Jay knew that D wouldn't be able to handle her, that she would be too much for him.

While T leaned over and talked to Ana, Ronnie put her hand on Jay's shoulder.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. After all you could have been Happy."Ronnie said pointing to T's faded bruises."

Jay just nodded. Ronnie patted his shoulder as T stood up. T gave her a hug,

"Your in charge of Ana while I'm gone."

Ronnie nodded. She was sure that T was leaving Ana on purpose because she knew that Jay wanted to talk about D. Ronnie was pretty sure that T wasn't sure how that was going to turn out and having Ana present wouldn't be a good idea. Ronnie just hoped that nothing bad happened and that Jay didn't decide that now was time to step up for his club and make a move. That would be bad, really bad.

-LK-

T said nothing as she pulled into the rental lot. She brought the keys in and signed the papers. She wanted to stall going back out there, to where Jay was waiting with his bike. T didn't want to get on his bike. She really didn't want to have a talk, she had wished that D would of moved on and let her go. She didn't want to hurt him but she knew that she would break him. He would only become a slight shadow of who he was if T put her claws in him. Now though she just wanted to get her car, get Ana and move the fuck on. She felt bad for anyone who put their money on D because she was pretty sure that he was a no go.

T didn't want to hurt him though, she didn't want to wreck him. He was an amazing guy and would be perfect for someone out there. T didn't want to make him perfect for her because she didn't want to change him. She had tried to change herself for him and she would have been able to do it had he stood up for her. D was to afraid of everyone, Zeke, Hap, and her. She wanted someone who wasn't afraid of her, she knew though that almost every man she had meet since becoming LK was afraid of her.

-LK-

Jay waited patiently while T turned in the keys. He knew she was stalling and the last thing she wanted to do was get on his bike, but it was the most effective way to get her some where to listen to what he had to say. As she walked out of the building Jay was reminded how beautiful she really was and he hated himself for not making a move for her. She took the helmet he held outstretched for her with a large sigh. She slid on his bike, Jay waited for her to wrap her arms around him and when he didn't he started up the bike. After the sound of it kicking up and she still didn't put her arms around him he looked back at her.

"well?" she asked him.

"Hold on" he said

T shook her head, Jay laughed and took off. Jay was surprised that even as he did 90 down the highway she still didn't hold onto him. Her arms were out in the air and he head was tossed back slightly. He looked away from her because he was sure if he kept staring in his mirror he would kill both of them. Jay slowed down as his exit came up. He smiled as T wrapped her hands around his waist and leaned into the turn with him. He pulled up to his favorite restaurant and turned the bike off. He watched as T climbed off the bike gracefully, almost like she did it all the time. He assumed that at some point she had.

-LK-

T didn't say anything until after they ordered food. She watched Jay closely.

"So lets hear it." T said

Jay looked thoughtful at her for a moment before shaking her head.

"why? Will it even make a difference?"

T thought it over for a moment.

"Honestly? I'm not too sure. I have realized a lot of shit about myself in the past month. Do you think that D could handle being with me? Because I feel like if I would be sticking my claws into him and he's a good person. I don't want to change him into a shadow of himself just so we can be together. Sure it might make him a better SAA but I don't want to live with ruining him."

Both sat quietly than, the waitress brought over their food. They both ate, stealing glances at each other. She wanted to know what he was thinking. Finally she couldn't take his thoughtful look anymore.

"Just spit it out. I promise that I will keep whatever we talk about between us if that's what you want."

Jay laughed.

"I guess your right, about D. Your not a bad person T, your just not the right person for D. I guess I feel impressed that you don't want to ruin him, but I don't think that he would mind. Honestly I feel like a lot of this is my fault. I should of went after you instead of letting D live out his fantasy. I guess I wanted to let him get the girl and the drama. Glen said when you pulled up that he was pretty sure the only people you don't scare are God and the Devil and even than hes not sure. I think hes right. We all hide our fear and I've never seen you mad but from what I hear your scary as hell."

"Are you saying that if I pushed you hard enough and laid my hands on you, you could hit me back and not feel shitty about it later?"

"Oh I would feel shitty about it, but I know that you would be doing it on purpose. You feel the constant need to be challenged and to let some of that energy free. I am sure that Hap feels shitty but he warned you. You know that he is going to hit you back and you get off on that. Your fucked up in the head." Jay replied

-LK-

T didn't say shit as she waited for the waitress to bring them the check. T slapped cash on the bill once the chick brought it over. Jay watched amused, he knew that he pissed her off. It was kind of fun, pushing her buttons. Jay could tell that once they got out of there they might have to stop somewhere because T was itching for a fight now that Jay started her up. He shook his head, actually pushing her into a fight in front of the club and D might be a good thing. That would show him what T was like, he had dealt with her in Charming but he had been keeping her killer instinct calm. Nothing was holding her back and Jay had already found out that Ronnie took Ana home for the night. As the waitress brought back the change, Jay winked at her. T looked disgusted as the girl giggled.

T stood up as she walked past the girl she whispered loud enough for Jay to hear.

"Careful honey, these biker dudes hit their women. Where do you think I got the brusies from?"

T didn't stop to hear what the girl said, Jay watched her back and shook his head. She wanted to play, Jay would play alright. She better pray that Jay didn't beat her ass in submission, after all she was still fair game. Jay looked at the waitress who looked scared and confused.

"She's lying, its beneath her really, she just wants to piss me off." Jay said laying out a nice tip before winking at the girl and leaving the store.

T had a lit smoke hanging from her mouth and the helmet atop her head. She smirked at Jay as he sat on the bike and lit up his own.

"Way to be smooth doll, but if you want to play I will show you how the big dogs play."

"Look at you big bad woman beater." T said with a laugh before flicking her smoke to the edge of the parking lot. Jay took one last hit of his before straddling the bike, T slid on after him while he put his helmet on.

"Might want to hang on this time" He told her before speeding off.

Jay put his hand on her thigh and pulled her real close to him while he was stopped at a light. He knew that T was stuck because if she fucked with him while he drove they would crash. Jay squeezed her thigh tightly. He was sure that it hurt but T acted like she didn't even notice. Jay moved his hand back and squeezed right where the bruise Hap had left was at. He squeezed tight before letting go and taking off as the light turned green.

Jay could tell that T was fuming by the time they reached the clubhouse. She flung off the bike, took the helmet off and put her gun and knife in her bag. Jay watched her silently, he could hear the whole club coming out of the clubhouse. He climbed off the bike setting his weapons atop of the bike. He slid his cut off and hung it on the handle bars.

"you wanted to play baby doll. You can still back out now." Jay said as he went to turn around.

He wasn't expecting T to lay into him. He could tell that she held back nothing as her hit laid into him. He flung his own hit out into her leg, hitting the same spot Hap had brusied and he had squeezed. He watched as T didn't even faulter. Jay waved off the guy headed to stop the fight.

"She wanted to play with the big boys. She knows what she's doing." Jay yelled out. As T hit Jay over and over, he blocked them. He was waiting for the perfect moment and when it came he took it. He swung out and back handed her so hard that she was forced to step back.

-LK-

After Jay's smack to the face, T shook her head trying to clear it. Everything was slightly fuzzy and her mouth tasted like blood. She spit and it came out red. She barely had time to throw her guard up as Jay advanced on her again. As she flung to swing on him again, she felt him catch her wrist and twist her arm behind her back. T stood still as Jay pulled her flush against him. She could feel his erection against her ass, and god help her if she wasn't turned on. She couldnt fuck Jay though, she felt like a whore enough for fucking D, and than letting Hap take her in the dirt. Jay leaned in close

"See your not the only one who gets off on the pain."

T wasn't sure how he managed it but he had both of her wrists behind her back with one hand, his other was at her throat.

"Is this how Hap had you?" jay whispered to her.

She knew that the rest of the club couldn't see Jay's face as it was blocked by her hair that had fallen during their fight and because it was on the side of her that wasn't facing the club. He kissed her ear, before leaning down and biting her neck painfully. T flung her head back trying to headbutt him, but as she did the hand around her throat tightened.

"Did Hap do that too? More gentle I'm guessing, not much though."

"Fuck you" T groaned out, the hand on her throat tightening again. She could hardly breathe.

"Aww, is that when he applied pressure to your arms like this." Jay asked before doing it. T fell to her knees. Jay bent over, keeping his hand on her throat. She could breathe now, but she was panting. T was pissed, Jay waited for this until they got back to the clubhouse on purpose and she played right into it. She was trapped, no one wanting to approach them. She didn't know Jay had a side to him like this and though she wasn't scared, she was slightly disappointed. She had picked the wrong Florida Son.

"Jay" D called out "What the hell are you doing?" He yelled the last part.

T could hear the anger in his voice.

"Making a point" Jay called back. The hand on her throat was less contstricing and more caressing. T knew that she looked like a bitch at the current moment. She was waiting for the perfect moment to break free. Jay was loosening his grip, T wasn't sure if this was on purpose or not but she was going to take the opportunity when it arose.

As Jay leaned down again T flung her whole body forward causing jay to tighten his grip, but she had also caused him to flip over her. As he flew over her, he lost his grip on her hands but not her throat. That hurt like a bitch, but she quickly broke free from his grip.

She took a deep breath and stood up. She eyed Jay appreciably as he laid on the ground.

"Games over big boy, thanks for the show though." She said with a cheeky smile as she walked over to her bag and picked it up off the ground. She walked over to Zeke,

"Can I have my keys? I remember how to get to your house" Zeke nodded looking at her. He dug the keys out of his cut and handed them over.

T wanted to swing as she felt the hand grab her arm. She didn't though because she could tell by the cologne that it was D. She looked at him, he looked lost and a little bit scared.

"Can you do that?" She asked him

"Hurt you like that? No fucking way. I'm in half the mind to go whoop Jay's ass for that."

T laughed, she ripped her arm from D and kept walking. She unlocked her car and slid in. She started it but before speeding out of the lot, she slowed down as she approached Jay. He walked to her window and leaned in. T kissed his cheek, he leaned further in the car and carrssed her cheek.

"I for sure got the wrong Florida Son." She said before lightly biting his hand. He pulled his hand out of her window. She speed off once his hand cleared the window.

-LK-

D stared at the gate. He was confused as fuck.

"What the hell was that?" He screamed. Glen and Zeke approached him slowly.

"That was a shitty way of showing you that you cant handle what it takes to be with T" Glen replied with a shake of his head.

"What the fuck? He just practically made her pass out in the fucking parking lot. How does that prove shit?" D asked in a lower voice.

"man, I walked in on her fight Hap, aside from the fact that Jay slapped her, the fight her and Hap had was way worse. Hap just never hits her in her face. You saw the bruises, those were all from Hap and from what I hear, there are more than what she was showing. Jay pushed her on purpose to prove a point. That even though you think you love her, you don't. What you saw it pissed you off and it disgusted you. That's part of who she is." Glen answered

"She picked the wrong Florida son or well the wrong one picked her" Zeke replied with a shake of his head.

The three of them watched as jay grabbed his gun and knife off of his bike.

"Probably best if we keep this to ourselves though, Jonny and Happy will flip the fuck out of they find out." Glen replied.

Zeke and D both nodded.

"Hey!" Zeke yelled loudly. "What happened tonight is a secret it never leaves here"

All of the men nodded. Jay looked over at them before nodding his head and heading into the clubhouse.

**I hope that you enjoyed it **** Review it please? Let me know if you want me to pick up with what T and Jay did after this or I am just going to move on from it**

**XXX Taylor aka laylas mommy 3**


	17. What are you doing here?

**AN: So I had some spare time, I wrote this chapter **** its fun and interesting and I enjoyed writing it. Its kind of cool to read the mix between T and Tay, and how much had changed with her. Plus you know everytime you go home you go back to the way things used to be… Your parents always make you feel like a little kid again. **

T didn't say anything as she pulled her car into the clubhouse lot right behind Zeke. Ana stayed at the house with Ronnie because the guys wanted to talk to T. Well more like Zeke, D and Jay did. T climbed out of the car she had a pair of pants on with a button up and some boots. She looked country, being in the south made her old roots show through and she was sure she would be buying a pair of cowboy boots for her and Ana by the time she reached Daddy's place. After all Ana wanted to ride horses and T almost always gave Ana what she wanted.

T followed Zeke into the clubhouse, she wasn't surprised as they walked into the chapel, or that D and Jay were already waiting. D stared at her hard, you could see the bruise on her neck but the rest were covered up. She knew that D was doing a damage check. T took the seat next to Jay, instead of D. Zeke took his seat at the head of the table. Jay pushed a beer towards her. She picked it up and took a swig.

"So we should talk about last night"

-LK-

Jay slipped his hand on T's thigh and squeezed. He wanted her something horrible last night. He thought about taking a sweet butt but he didn't want to ruin the memory of T's body pressed into his, so he spent an hour in the shower instead. Sure seeing the bruise on her neck looking worse than it had made him feel kind of bad but knowing that T enjoyed it as much as he did helped to ease his guilt. The fact that D wasn't talking to him was annoying but Jay was sure that D would get over it. At least if the moans coming from his dorm last night were any indication, D was over T. Now it was just a matter of his pride that stood in the way of everyone moving the fuck on.

Jay was not looking forward to the lecture he was sure they were about to receive or the shouting match that D was about to start. Jay didn't really want to have to pick his SAA up off the ground when T laid his ass out for saying something fucked up. Jay had spent a hour this morning already trying to explain to D how T got off on that. D just could accept the fact that T was like a man the fight, the kill and the violence turned her on just like it did him. D was one sided in Jays point of view, he thought women should be one way. T was the complete opposite of what D thought a woman should be. She was wild, crazy and fed off the violence. This is going to be one of the most stressful and interesting conversations Jay had ever had.

-LK-

Zeke let out a huge sigh after opening last night for conversation. He couldn't help but wonder if he was going to regret this but it needed to be done. He just hoped that T didn't end up killing D, because D had some very strong opinions about last night. None of them good and Zeke hoped that after her fight with Jay last night, she wouldn't be her usual loose cannon self.

"So, who wants to start?" Zeke asked looking around the table.

He watched T and D stare at each other, each willing the other to go first. Zeke was sure that D would lose that battle. T was patient as hell and on top of that she really didn't want to have this conversation in the first place. In her eyes, she is who she is and if D cant accept that than he sure as hell cant accept her. Jay had told him, that T didn't want to ruin D and if she stuck her claws into him she was sure that was what would happen. She said D is a great guy, just not the great guy for her. Zeke agreed with her and Jay both. Though they had a fucked up way of going about it, however D needed to see how T really was. The calm killer he had seen wasn't her, the woman last night was who she was. Zeke thought that T had some serious Daddy issues. That would explain why she became the killer though and it wasn't a shock. Most of the woman in the club life and most of the men had either fucked up parents of a fucked up life, sometimes both.

-LK-

D stared at T, willing her to change back to who she had been or at least willing her to start the talk first. She stared back at him, showing no signs of changing or starting up the conversation. Finally he had enough

"What the hell was last night? You fucking him now too?" D directed towards T.

He watched the fire grow in her eyes, he watched her as she moved forward in her seat quickly. He thought she looked as if she was going to stand. Something was holding her back though.

"What, your master holding you back?" D asked in a smart tone.

D ignored the warning looks that Zeke and Jay shot him. He was pissed as hell. T was a woman, she shouldn't act like that. She shouldn't be the little killer damn it. She should be pregnant with his babies bare foot in his kitchen.

"I explained last night to you for an hour this morning D. Keep pushing and she's going to fuck you up. No one will be able to stop her." Jay said.

D just shot him a dirty look. He didn't even care anymore. T was way too crazy for him.

"It doesn't even matter anymore. I'm done." D said, standing up and letting his chair scrape against the ground.

"Good." T replied leaning back into her chair.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" D asked her.

T got a smirk on her face. "I disgust you now. You hate me. I think the whole thing is kind of funny. Your done now, its better this way. It might seem like a hit to your pride, but I would ruin you. You wouldn't be who you are anymore. I loved you for the way you are. You and me D, we just don't mix." She replied.

D could tell she was telling the truth.

"Guess you picked the wrong Florida son." D said and turned to leave.

"Maybe" he heard T reply as he walked out of the door.

After all, maybe she had a point. Love didn't mean shit if it meant ruining who you are.

-LK-

T looked at Zeke,

"Well I think that its probably time for me and Ana to head out. Everything that needed to be said has been said. I don't want to stick around and cause more problems for your club." T said as she let out a puff of smoke.

Zeke looked at her, than at Jay. He wished that they would of gotten together instead. Crazy as she was, T would have been an amazing asset to his charter, everyone wanted her. She was good at what she did, she hardly ever complained. The only problem with her was that all of the men in the club loved her. Though it was a good thing to be loved , T left a trail of broken hearts and hate everywhere she went. Instead of being like that sister wives show Ronnie watched, T needed lots of husbands.

-LK-

Though Jay didn't want to let her go, he knew that he could hold no claims to her. Jay would kill someone if they called her a whore and he knew that would be what she got called if she got with him. He squeezed her thigh once, he had almost forgotten that it was there. He pulled his hand off her lap.T stood up than, she hugged and kissed both men before making her exit. Jay watched her go and stared at the door, even after it slammed shut.

"Next time, maybe you will actually go for the girl instead of wanting and waiting on the sidelines." Zeke said looking at him.

"There wont be a next time. There is only one T." Jay replied before lighting a cigarette and leaning back in his chair. He could smell her and it only reminded him of last night.

"There is a woman out there for you Jay."

Jay nodded his head. There might be but Jay didn't believe it. Hap was older than him and he lived a more dangerous lifestyle. Maybe if something happened to him and than Jay got T, he would believe in fate. For now, it didn't really matter.

"This isn't about me, its about the fact that we could of just had one of the best killer in the whole damn club in our charter." Jay replied.

"Never know what the future will hold."Zeke replied cryptically.

-LK-

As T pulled into Ronnie and Zeke's place, she sighed. One problem down now they could focus on the road trip and deal with the rest when she got home. She climbed out and headed inside. Both Ronnie and Ana looked towards her as she walked into the kitchen.

"Ready to go baby?" T asked Ana.

Ana nodded eagerly and ran off to grab her things from the guest room she had been staying in.

"Talk went that well huh?" Ronnie asked as T leaned against the counter.

"It went fine, but its time to move on. No need to stick around adding more tension and drama to the club."T replied

Ronnie nodded. Ana came out of the room, her and T's over night bag in each hand. T grabbed her bag from Ana. They both gave Ronnie a hug before heading outside. T popped the trunk and threw her bag in the trunk were the rest of their bags waited. Ana did the same thing before climbing in. T climbed in and started the car. She put the top down, than back out of the drive way and headed for the highway. Time go visit her home town and than continue on with the road trip.

-LK-

Ana sang along with the radio and let her hair whip in the wind. It would take them driving for the rest of the day and all night before they reached Carolina, but getting there would be so worth it. After it got dark, T pulled into a diner. Ana got out and followed her aunt inside. They sat down and ordered their food. After dinner they headed to a wal-mart. Ana looked questionly at her aunt.

"What are we doing here?" She asked.

"Junk food, a pillow and a blanket so you can sleep in the car." T replied, while she put the top up. Ana climbed out of the car and walked towards T's side. She watched her aunt as she smoked a cigarette and walked towards the store. She smiled at the old man that greeted them. Ana loved shopping with T because she was never in a hurry and if Ana wanted to explore the store she could. Ana walked past the clothing aisle, a swimsuit catching her eye and making her remember that she left hers at the hotel in Disney.

"You forgot yours at Disney huh?" T asked

Ana nodded.

"Go pick one out. We can get you a different one later if you want." T replied pushing Ana towards the swimsuits.

"Thank you." Ana replied as they checked out, T smiled at her.

"Anytime baby girl."

-LK-

T wasn't even tired as she pulled up to her daddy's place. The gate code was still the same, in fact the whole place looked the same still.

"Daddy never was one for change" T mumbled as she climbed out of the car.

Ana had woken up when the sun came up, it was only 8 but it was the perfect time for riding horses. T opened Ana's door. As she waited for Ana to climb out she lit up a smoke. Her daddy didn't like that she smoked, but she was a big girl now. It was time for him to realize that.

"You know how I hate that." She heard from behind her.

"Yeah, but im a big girl now daddy." T replied before turning around and facing her father.

T was shocked by how old he looked. He had retired a month before, but T could see how much his job had weighed on him. He had never remarried, there were no siblings for her. She looked around her daddy's property and as much as she disliked him most of the time, she felt like she was home. She knew that someday all of this would be hers and she didn't want that day to come. She wanted him to live forever, even though she knew that would never happen.

"You will always be my little girl Taylor. Never forget that." T flinched at the use of her full name.

No one but cops ever called her Taylor, shit most people didn't even know her full name. She smiled as she watched Ana hug her dad.

'Do you still have the horses uncle? Auntie said you do but I don't know if I believe her or not."

T shook her head as her daddy laughed. "Of course. I could never get rid of them. Since your aunt never comes to visit its all I have left of her. You got some boots in there? The ones your wearing aint right for no horse riding."

Ana shook her head no. T watched as her daddy smiled.

"Looks like we need to take a trip to the yard than come on, Nows the perfect time to go get some boots and ride horses. What about you baby girl? You need some boots too?"

"I got mommas old ones but I never wear them, so yeah I think I will get a pair myself. Ana needs to eat too." T replied.

She smiled when she saw her dad's eyes light up. They hadn't had a meal together in a long time. She was sure that Newman's Dinner was still open. It had been years since they had ate there together, they ate there every Sunday. A lot of Sundays had passed since the last time T ate there.

She followed Ana and her dad to the garage. She watched as her father talked to his driver, she smiled at the man. Her dad still had the same help as always.

"Ms. Taylor. Look at how much you've grown." Greg said to her as she approached.

"Looking sharp as always Mr. Greg, how Mrs. Annie doing?" T asked.

She almost wanted to cringe as her southern twang came back. She couldn't help but smile when she saw her daddy's face light up.

"She's good, still cooking for this old coot." Mr. Greg replied with a smile.

"That's real good. I appreciate you guys looking out for daddy." T replied, she shot Ana a look as she tried to hid her laugh.

T was sure Ana was getting a kick out her talking all country, but if Ana thought T was bad T would have to drag Jonny down her so she could hear him. The minute they stepped foot in Carolina Jonny sounded like a hick.

"Can you believe it Greg. Its been five years but my baby is finally home." Her daddy replied, T felt guilty as she heard the pride and awe in his voice.

"That she is, that she is." Mr. Greg responded with a smile as they all climbed into the car.

T smiled gave hugs and kisses and said polite words every where they went. On the way home from the diner T asked

"Daddy, you still eat at Newman's every Sunday?"

"Sure do, its not the same without you though." He replied.

T looked down on her phone as it rang.

"Girl, you been in town and you haven't even called yet?" Momma Beth said.

"I'm sorry momma, went to get boots for Ana and me. She wants to ride the horses. I think we might picnic out there. How about you get everyone together and we meet at your house at the time we used too?"

"Oh Tay we are a bunch of old ladies now. We hardly ever meet after 10 anymore, but since it's the first time you been home in five years I think that we could make an exception."

"Okay momma, and you guys aint old. Lots of life left in them bones."

"Thank you baby. So 10 my place than? You remember where it is?"

"Of course. Spent as much time there as I did my own place momma. See you girls tonight. Love you."

"Love you too baby. See you soon."

T hung up, the smile on her face was stuck, not allowing her to get rid of it. Today was for daddy. Tonight for the girls and tomorrow she would go visit momma.

-LK-

T and Ana pulled into Momma Beth's drive. Two other cars already there, she smiled at Ana as they got out of the car. T knocked on the door twice before walking in. Ana followed her quietly.

"In the kitchen." T heard hollered

She led Ana into the kitchen. It still smelled the way it always had. Like fresh baked bread, something sweet and momma beth's own personal smell. When she walked around the corner, she was ambushed. Remy and Ari clung to her for a long moment, both of them shedding tears.

As the separated, she looked at the momma's. Beth had her hand over her mouth, both women had tears in their eyes.

"Oh my, you look just like your momma." Momma Sara Jane said as she stood and walked towards T, her arms out stretched.

T hugged her tightly before moving on to momma Beth.

"Don't stay gone so long next time ya hear?" she whispered in T's ear.

"I wont." T replied.

Momma Beth nodded, but both knew that T was making no promises.

This wasn't really her home anymore. So much had changed, with all of them. Even though they wished life would stay still, it moved quickly.

"Ladies, this is Jonny's daughter Ana." T introduced.

Ana wore a look of shock as she was bombarded with hugs. T laughed as she took a seat at the kitchen counter. T took a fresh piece of bread and almost moaned upon eating it.

"Momma, you made this just for me didn't you?" T asked.

Sara Jane nodded, "It was your favorite. I figured a lot has changed in five years but I figured you would still love my sourdough bread."

"Still my favorite, her Ana try it." T said sliding a piece with butter over to Ana.

"This is amazing." Ana replied.

"Oh if you think that's good, wait until you try mommas cookies. Made a fresh batch for just for T. God you remember when we were little and you used to eat a whole batch yourself?" Remy asked from across the counter.

"Perfect cure for a broken heart. I don't even know how many batches I ate after momma died." T replied with a sad smile.

Momma Beth nodded before placing a plate of cookies in front of T, with a kiss atop her head.

"Well now that you're here, we can finally give you guys the last box. These two have been harping after it since they found out about it." Beth said

"What? What box?" T asked.

"Remy didn't tell you? The mommas put a box for all three of us together. Couldn't get it until we all got reunited again." Ari answered.

T shook her head. Sara Jane placed a box on the counter. She nodded for T to take the top off. T did and all three girls leaned in. T pulled out a stack of pictures. Ari and Remy moved to stand behind her.

"Oh my, we were so small."Ari said, looking at the first picture. It was of the girls on a blanket. T flipped to the next one, it was of the girls as babies with their mommas. T and the girls looked through all the pictures. There were pictures of from when their momma's were pregnant all the way up to now.

T felt the tears as she looked at the pictures of things she had missed, graduations of high school and college, Remy's wedding, and so much more. Her favorite one was a picture she kept in a photo album she had stored under her bed. It was of Remy and Ari in their cap and gown, holding a sign that said "Wish you were here Tay."

T wiped her eyes as she put them down. There were three stacks, one for each girl to keep. Three letters for each girl too. T pulled them out.

"We wrote them the day your momma died. It was the last thing she wanted to do." Beth replied when the girls looked at her questionly. All three girls nodded, tucking their pictures and letters away in their purses.

-LK-

As T and Ana were leaving, the momma's pulled T aside.

"come see us once you have read them, ya hear?"Sara Jane said

"Yes momma" T replied, giving them each a tight squeeze before letting go.

T decided to read the letters at her mommas grave the next day. As T and Ana pulled out of the drive Ana spoke

"Your so much more carefree down here, your different and I don't think I have ever seen your cry before."

"Those women, they took care of me when momma passed. My momma was best friends with them, did you know that? Remy, Ari and me, our birthdays are only a couple days apart. We were a three some for so long, up until I moved to Tacoma. So many things I thought we would do together, we didn't. I missed her wedding because I didn't want to come home. I should of came home a long time ago Ana."

"Do you regret not coming home? Do you regret living with us in Tacoma for so long?" Ana asked in a quiet voice.

"Never, I don't regret anything in my life baby girl. I have you and junior and that's all I need. Okay?" T said back in a gentle tone.

"Okay" Ana agreed.

-LK-

When Ana woke up the next morning, she found her uncle drinking coffee in the dining room. After giving him a kiss Ana took the seat next to him.

"Taylor left early this morning to go visit her momma, I though you and me could go for a horse ride again though. What do you think?" He asked as Mrs. Annie set a bowl of fruit and a glass of juice in front of her.

"Sure." Ana replied, before thanking Mrs. Annie.

After breakfast Ana got dressed and met her uncle out by the stables. After they mounted the horses and rode out for awhile Ana asked a question that had been bothering her

"Why do you think auntie waited so long to come home?"

Her uncle looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Lots of reason I suppose. She missed everyone but she had moved on in life. We didn't always get along real well, she felt that I hated her because she reminds me of her momma. She thinks I blame her for Tammy dying. None of that's true though. Taylor was never the same after Tammy died, I sent her to live with your daddy because I thought she need the space. The time to be away and actually deal with her grief. Her and your daddy have always been close and though it killed me to send her away, I figured your daddy could keep her safe in the ways I couldn't. I wrote her a letter, a long letter but I never got a reply so I don't even know if she got it."

"She got it, she never opened it up but she got it. I remember the day she got it. She sat at the table and drank a whole lot of Jack and cokes, just staring at the envelope. Daddy sat with her the whole time, whispering to her. He had to put her to bed that night. I woke up the next day and daddy said don't ask about the letter. I found it when I was helping her pack to move though. Still not opened, in the memory book she keeps."

"She will open it someday. She will understand when she does. Shes not ready to forgive me yet and I don't blame her." He replied before stopping by the river.

"How about some lunch?" he asked. Ana knew that their talk about T was over now.

"Sounds good." Ana replied getting off her horse.

-LK-

T had been sitting atop her mothers gave for a long time. She had finished the letters hours ago but she could leave. Not yet, her mommas words still sinking into her.

"Oh momma, I hope that I haven't disappointed you too much. I know that I'm not a good person, that the amount of sins I have committed may never allow me entrance into heaven, but I hope that someday I see you again. I hope that when that day comes, you don't hate me for who I have become."

T stood and wiped the tears that were coming from her eyes. She kissed her finger and put it to the head stone, she stood she heard foot steps. Turning around she was brought face to face with a man, she thought she would never see again.

"Been a long time Tay. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come home again."

-LK-

Seth had men following her the minute she crossed the border. Everyone knew to be on the look out for her, even though they had been watching for years. Seth wasn't surprised when he got the phone call though. The anniversary of her mothers death, was in a day. It had been almost five years since she visited her momma and Seth had a feeling that this would be the year.

He had pulled up to the cemetery and watched from his bike. He watched Tay sit and read letters and place daisies on her momma's grave, it had been a lot of years since her momma died. He remembered today was the day because she got real drunk and told him one time. He watched as she cried, and as she started to talk, he moved towards her. Upon kissing her mother's grave, he was sure Tay heard him approach. She was still as beautiful as she had been, she still held herself strongly and had made a name for herself. She put a new meaning into Bonnie and Clyde, though Seth always knew she would.

"Yeah, it has Seth." She replied.

He nodded. He was sure that Tay knew about him calling Jonny asking about her. Seth knew all there was to know about Ms. Taylor Kathryn West. Sure he had a couple old ladies since her and he had a son now, but he had never really let Tay go.

"What are you doing here Seth?" Tay asked him.

Seth looked at her, she still showed no fear. This time Seth knew that she showed none because there was none. She was a killer and a damn good one at that.

"Looking for you. I wondered how long I would have to wait but I figured this would be the year you would come back. Five years is a long time not to visit your momma after having done it every day for four."

"What do you want Seth?"Tay asked him.

Seth shot her his famous grin, the one that Tay loved.

"I want my Tay back." He replied.

-LK-

T stared at Seth, for her it was like seeing a ghost. Seth was her first true love, the one who taught her more about club life, love life and real life. She hadn't seen him since he showed up while she was in Juvie. He was part of the reason she never came back here. He had wanted her back, said when she got out of Juive to go home. She was sure Seth thought that he was the only one who had done research out of the two of them, but T had done her homework as well. Seth had a son now, Jayden Austin Reeves. He was almost five.

"Tay is dead, besides its not like you waited long to move on and start your family. You think you're the only one who's been checking up? I know all about you Seth. I know that you got a bitch pregnant five months after I left. I know you spent a year in jail. I know that Sam got killed and you became the President of the Hells Angels. I'm not afraid of you Seth, not anymore. Besides, what you said in Juive that will never happen. You wont kill me anymore than I will kill you. Your club would have your ass for starting a war with the Sons."

"I don't think that Tay is dead, shes standing right in front of me. I can see her, and smell her and touch her" Seth said as he took a step closer to her, his hand caressing her cheek.

T smacked his hand away. "Leave Seth, let it go. Go see your son, find a wife be happy. Its time for that and its time for you to let me go. I know that you cant stand that I left you, but I didn't have a choice. I told you that. You think that it didn't haunt me? you think that your visit in Juvie didn't scare the shit out of me? You knew everything about me than and I still loved you. It hurt and it always will but we are not right for each other anymore. Too much has happened in five years Seth, the girl you know? She died in Juvie and she died again when she became the LK. All that is left is T, and T doesn't play games. She shoots first and asks questions never."

Staring at Seth, saying all of that hurt but it was the truth. Tay was dead, she died a long time ago. She wasn't the same girl anymore and life moved on without her. Seth had a kid, Remy was married and Ari was now her own person. The momma's and her dad were old. Sure the town still looked the same but everyone was different. The kids she used to babysit were in high school now.

"I know, but I miss you. You know that night you told me you were moving I was going to give you the tat Anthony had drawn up for you, and a ring. I planned on making so many promises that night. Life wasn't supposed to be like this. We should have been married with kids and that stupid fence you always wanted. Why didn't you come back?" Seth asked

"Because I didn't belong here anymore Seth."

"That's bullshit and you know it, you always belonged here, you still do. This is your home Tay, everyone misses you." Seth said before handing her a piece of paper.

She opened the paper, her old necklace feel into her hand. She wrapped her hand around the necklace before looking at the paper. It was the tat she assumed. A daisy was wrapped around a gun, her and Seth's names were twined together in a banner hanging off of the gun. It would have been the perfect tat, she had always told Seth she wouldn't get a whole back piece. The tat fit their relationship perfect. She opened her hand and looked at the necklace. It had a hell's angel charm on it along with an S. She looked up at Seth.

"No one ever wore that but you. I had a different one made up for the others. No one has my tat, and Jayden was an accident on a drunk night, not that I don't love that boy with my whole heart." Seth said before his phone rang.

T looked down at the necklace, she remembered a time when it had meant more to her than anything. The chain was long enough to hide it behind her clothes so no one ever saw it unless she wanted them too. T looked up when she heard Seth say

"Hold on." He extended the phone to her.

"Ya?" T said into the phone.

"Tay?" She heard Anthony's voice on the line

"Ant?" She questioned

"I thought the guys were mistaken when they said you came home, but I guess not. How the hell are you girl?"

"I'm fine. How long have you guys had people watching for me?"

"Four years, Seth never gave up. I'm kind of surprised you guys haven't killed each other yet."

"Nope, that's not in the cards. How are you?"

"Well that's good, because from what I hear Seth wouldn't stand a chance against you anymore. I'm good. VP now. Got a wife and a couple kids, you know the whole shebang. Seth show you the drawing? I remember the day I gave it to him and he came back with your necklace. We all though for sure he killed you, I was pissed."

"Nope he didn't, and yes I saw it. It would have been perfect. I'm sorry I didn't get to see it until now."

'So I guess that means your not getting back together. I told him that too much has changed but you know how he is."

"Yeah I used too. It was good talking to you. Tell the guys hi for me. Take care of your lady and kids you hear?"

"I will. Love ya Tay. Have a good life baby girl. Come visit us you ever come home again, ya hear?"

"I'm gonna try. Love ya too Ant."

T handed the phone back to Seth, who hung up. She sat back down on her momma's grave. She tried to hand the drawing and the necklace back to Seth.

"Keep them, something to remember me by."

"I got pictures Seth, you keep them."

Seth grabbed her hand, the one that had the SOA charm on it. He looked at it for a long time before He moved it out of the way , to look at the bruises, he looked at her neck than.

"Damn, what the hell happened to you? Do I need to kill him?" Seth asked

T shot him a look. "Nope, I still like it rough. You stuck with me in more ways than one Seth."

"Well damn, here I thought you forgot all about me. Pictures and rough sex huh? Nice to know I'm still with you."

"Always Seth." T replied.

-LK-

She leaned into Seth's shoulder. He put his arm around her than leaned down and kissed her head. They sat quiet for a long time. Everything that needed to be said had been said. Though he didn't want to let her go, he knew that she wasn't his anymore. She wasn't anyone's and she never would be. She was her own person. Seth figured that was how she was always meant to be. Seth let her go when she pulled away.

"You know, I go to our spot every year on the day that I meet you there and on the day you left me there."

"Every time I see that body of water on a map I think of you. That place will always be ours, even though there isn't a us anymore." T said as she stood up.

Seth stood and grabbed her hand. He pressed the necklace and the drawing in her hand before kissing her forehead.

"Love you always Tay." He said before walking away.

He felt the tears as he walked away from her. It was time to let her go, time to focus on his club and his son. After all like Tay used to always say, if its meant to be, let it go. If it comes back you know it was meant to be. If not than it was never really yours in the first place.

-LK-

T stared after Seth, she waited until he was all the way out before looking down at her momma stone.

"I hope I'm making the right choice momma. Its time for me to be a grown up, I'll be back soon. I love you momma. Please watch over me."

T kissed the headstone, pulled a daisy from the bunch and put it in her hair. She clipped the necklace around her neck and tucked the tat drawing into her pocket. T looked back at her momma's grave before climbing into her car and driving away.

-LK-

Ana was in the stable brushing the horse she used when T got back. Ana smiled at her aunt when she entered the stable.

'How was your day baby girl?" T asked her before walking into the supply room.

Ana waited for her to come back out before answering her, Ana watched as her aunt walked into a stall. Ana knew that it was T's horse. She had gotten it when it was still a baby.

"Went for a ride with uncle, we talked about the letter." Ana replied nonchalantly.

"yeah? Its probably about time for me to read it huh?"T responded.

"I think so." Ana replied.

Ana loved the horses, riding them and brushing them, something about it calmed her. She wasn't sure what it was but it made her feel at peace. It made her feel happy. T had taken a lot of pictures the day before when they went riding. Ana had taken a bunch of T as well, with her dad and with her girls. She was going to make a scrapbook for T when they got back and give it to her for Christmas.

"Its calming huh? Life out here is way different than in Tacoma." T asked her.

"Yeah it is. I wish I could live here."

T laughed, "Its funny because when I was your age I couldn't wait to get out of here. Tacoma isn't that big but its bigger than here. You never want to leave here and I couldn't get out fast enough. Your daddy either. He was happy when he they moved. I wanted to go so bad and my momma told me someday I would, for now I needed to stay home. I was so mad."

"Yeah? How about now?" Ana asked her.

She waited patiently as her aunt thought it over.

"Now I realize that I had a good life, I wanted to grow up too bad. Enjoy being young Ana, before you know it your all grown up with bills to pay, working all the time and the things that matter now will seem pointless and stupid.." T replied.

Ana smiled at that. Sure when people told her that she hated it, but being in Carolina in the stables brushing a horse, she realized that they all had a point. Everyone grows up sooner or later, so she should enjoy being a teen while she could. Once you're a grown up you cant go back, so way rush what short time she had to be young.

Ana finished brushing the horse and walked into the stall T was in. She looked at her aunt, she wasn't sure what she expected to see but she was sure that visiting her momma would of changed her in some way. Her aunt looked the same though, except for looking a little tired she looked the way Ana always saw her. Except for one thing,

"Nice necklace, where did you get it?"

-LK-

**AN: so I liked the way this chapter ended **** Review please**


	18. Its never too late

_**AN: This chapter is for Cat Lea because she always reviews or sends me a PM after I update **____** thank you girly! **_

_**Previously on The Little Killer **_

_Ana finished brushing the horse and walked into the stall T was in. She looked at her aunt, she wasn't sure what she expected to see but she was sure that visiting her momma would of changed her in some way. Her aunt looked the same though, except for looking a little tired she looked the way Ana always saw her. Except for one thing, _

"_Nice necklace, where did you get it?" _

_-LK-_

T looked down and she realized that she fucked up. No one except for the guys in Seth's club had ever seen the necklace. Ana may be young but she wasn't stupid, that and she had a SOA necklace so she would know what it meant.

"Something old I found." T replied before tucking the necklace away and going back to brushing Honeydew, her horse."

She wanted to laugh as she watched Ana take up a very T like pose against the gate. She didn't say anything but T could tell that Ana wanted more to the story than what T said. It was almost creepy how much Ana reminded T or herself.

"It was a long time ago Ana." T replied, knowing that no matter how much she wanted to, it wouldn't be enough. Ana would want the whole story.

"Yeah, I guessed that much. That's a necklace for another club though." Ana replied.

T let out a huge breath. She didn't want to go back to the past again. She didn't want to remember or even think of some of the shit she had done and been through. She didn't want to remember why she avoided Carolina, even though her and Seth weren't out to kill each other anymore. She didn't want to go back and relive the love she had for him, she didn't want it to come back. All she wanted to do was get through the road trip, have a good time before she went home and actually really grew up. Before she got on board with her girls, made her relationship with Hap official and actually started working a normal job like a normal person.

"Your not going to let this go are you?" T asked

"Nope" Ana said with a shake of her head.

"Go grab that memory box out of the trunk of my car, the one that says Carolina on it." T said while taking the keys out of her pocket and handing them over to Ana. As she watched Ana walk out, T took a seat. Honeydew put her head on her shoulder.

T petted her " I know girl I've missed you too. I wish I could stay, someday this whole place will be mine. I'll come home for good than, its just not time yet."

Ana came back it the box in hand, she handed it over to T. T looked at it for a long time before opening it. She pulled out one of the photo albums, T had looked through it so many times but no one. Not her girls, not Jonny or Remy and Ari had ever seen this photo book. The pictures of her and Seth and the Carolina Hell's Angels, these pictures were a secret. Maybe though, it was time for them to come out. Maybe it was time for her to be honest with her dad and Jonny and the rest of them about why she didn't want to come home. For now though, T just wanted to tell Ana the story of the necklace and let the rest die.

"I know you think you have seen all the pictures in here. You haven't seen these though, I hide these ones. Your daddy is going to have a fit if he ever sees these. For now though just keep it to yourself okay?" T asked

Ana nodded, a curious expression on her face. T opened the book, "You know what the necklace is but you dont know what club it belongs to or what it really means." T said before taking it off and handing it over to Ana. T opened the book to the first page, it was the first picture of her and Seth, before the necklace. T handed that over too.

She watched the shock play across her face, as she took in the blonde haired, blue eyed man in the Hell's angels cut. Cowboy boots on his feet instead of the usual motorcycle boots and a cowboy hat placed on top of his head.

"That's Seth, he's now the president of the Carolina Hell's Angels. He was my first love, the necklace is from him. It marks you as under the protection of the Hell's Angels and as the property of Seth, that's what the S is for." T began explaining, she wasn't sure what would come of telling Ana this but it was time to get it off her chest…

-LK-

Happy wasn't sure how he got where he was. He couldn't pinpoint the minute he agreed to come over to Rachel's house. He wasn't sure why he was here. T was going to flip the fuck out when she came home, but for now Hap couldn't seem to let the girl go or get rid of her. She was keeping his head above water, even if all he did was compare everything about her to T.

Hap looked over at her than, she was cleaning up the dishes from dinner. Her cooking was no where near as good as T's, she was no where near as pretty, she didn't keep the darkness from swallowing him whole, she wasn't very good in bed and she was only okay at giving head. She was normal, nothing special but she knew club life or at least she though she did. She didn't piss him off much yet but he wasn't sure if she realized that the minute T got home Hap wouldn't even remember her name. He shouldn't be at her house, he shouldn't still be sleeping with her, and she shouldn't be getting any ideas. Koz was right in to warn him, because even though all the men knew T was still crazy as fuck, the sweet butts were thinking she went soft for letting Maria be with Koz. T would kill someone for being with him though, shit she might even kill him for making her look like a fool.

Hap shook his head free from those thoughts when he felt a cold beer be placed at his hand, while his zipper was coming undone. He looked down at Rachel, her hair was to dark, not as curly and she didn't do that tongue thing that T did. She didn't twist her hand in time with her mouth, but her head wasn't that bad. Hap let his head go back as he got into it. After all he did have needs and T was in Florida with someone else.

-LK-

Mac took a seat next to Koz,

"Where the fuck is Hap at?" Mac asked

Koz looked at him, Mac watched Koz grimace.

"I told him to stay away from that sweet butt bro, I told him that he isn't on the road and when T finds out she is going to be pissed but he didn't fucking listen. He's been posted up at that bitches house for the past couple days. He only answers when Clay, Jonny or Glen call him."

"Mhmm… going to be interesting when T comes home than because you know that bitch is thinking shes about to become his old lady, she'll tell T all about her time with Hap. All the girls think she went soft because she's always let Maria get away with fucking you when ever you wanted too, and now you guys are together so they think that they can do whatever they want. Someone is going to get fucked up and its not going to be T." Mac replied

Koz nodded, he was worried though. He knew that T liked Maria and that's why Koz never worried about T fucking her up, but if all the other hoes thought that they were going to be just as lucky they were seriously mistaken. Koz didn't want Maria and T to have drama because of all the other sweet butts.

-LK-

Ana stared at the picture of T with the blonde cowboy, for a long time she knew that was her aunt but looking at this picture, Ana realized that there was a whole side of her aunt she hadn't and wouldn't ever know. The cowboy or Seth, as Ana had learned looked a lot like a country version of Jax with a mix of her dad. He was handsome, shit he was hot just like all the guys she had ever seen with her aunt. It made sense though because T was really pretty, Ana could remember people saying that for as long as she could remember.

"I ran into Seth at one of those biker community service things, I was volunteering. He was perfect, he was a bad boy, handsome and country. Everything I thought I ever wanted but knew that I didn't need. He reminded me of your dad a little. It seemed like after that we spent so much time together, we even had a spot. He gave me the necklace a month after we had been hanging out. I felt special, even though I learned after that I was the third girl to wear his it didn't matter, I was his. I was at a bad place in my life, still mad at the world, god and everyone else for taking my momma away. I was carless and reckless and Seth seemed like the perfect solution to all my problems and for awhile he was, until he became the problem. I loved him though, he taught me everything I knew about life, regular normal people life and club life. The night after I found out I was moving to Tacoma, we meet up. He wanted to make promises and give me the picture Ant had drawn up for my tat, I told him I was moving. It was the worst night of my life. It was also the first time I had cried since my momma died, at least in front of anyone. After we got into a huge fight I left, i went and saw the mommas and my girls got the two boxes of stuff from my momma and that was it. Then I moved to Tacoma, Seth never gave up though, he visited me in Juvie and he even called your daddy asking about me. That's probably a huge reason I never wanted to come home, for me and Seth it turned into a if he couldn't have me no one would. I didn't want to have to kill the first man I ever really loved." T finished the story.

Ana looked through the books, she could see how happy her aunt was. She loved how wild and free she looked, she loved the real smile that played across her face. She laughed as she spotted the hickeys and things on her aunts neck, and it made her realize that her aunt had lived her teen life to the fullest she could before she moved, before she went to Juvie and before she became the little killer.

"You look so carefree, so happy. I hardly ever see you look like that anymore." Ana replied looking up from the book and at T.

"Like I said, a lot has changed. That was a long time ago. That girl, she doesn't exist anymore. Its sad but its true. Life makes you grow up, that's why I want you to enjoy being young Ana. Love with your whole heart and when the first guy breaks it scream, cry and call me so we can go egg his house. Have fun, make mistakes and never regret anything. Before you know it you're an adult working all the time to pay bills. " T replied with a sigh before standing up and taking the book from Ana.

Ana watched as T placed it back into the box and after a moments hesitation she threw the necklace and a piece of paper from her pocket in there as well. She put the lid on, and though T was good at hiding her emotions she could tell that T had saw Seth at her mommas grave. She didn't find the necklace, Seth had given it back to her.

"He showed up at the graveyard huh?" Ana asked

T nodded, "Yeah and we talked. As much as it kills both of us it is past time for us to move on. We have grown up and grown apart. He has a little boy now, hes the president of his club. He needs to worry about that instead of having his guys on the look out for me."

"He knew the minute your car crossed the border huh?"

"He knew even before I did that I would be back this summer. He knows more than he should. Come on lets go eat" T replied standing up.

The box in one hand, a letter Ana didn't realize T had even taken out of the box in the other. Ana smiled when she saw it though. T was finally going to read what her daddy wrote.

-LK-

T smiled as she and Ana loaded up the car. She had finally read the letter from her dad and made up with him. She came home saw her girls and tied up the loose ends of her and Seth. Well at least she knew she could come home with out having to watch her back. She also got to open the last box the momma's had been saving for the girls and visit with them. The most important thing for T though, was that she got to visit her momma. It had been far to long since she had and in doing so she learned how much she missed it.

The road trip was cut short since Ana had wanted to stay extra time on the farm with the horses, but it gave T time to spend with her dad. She loved Tacoma but she missed her hometown, she missed the horses and Mrs. Annie's cooking. She missed the cowboy boots and hats and how everyone had more manners than in the city. She loved how quiet it was at night and how bright the stars were in the south away from all the city lights.

T watched her daddy's land threw the review mirror the whole time she drove away, and as it got smaller so did the little part of her that felt doubtful of every choice she made. What was done was done, she couldn't go back and change it. She had to live it out, besides if she was honest she was ready to get home and see Hap. She missed him like crazy and she wanted to get laid.

-LK-

T sat on the couch with her girls. She was already late for the Friday night party at the clubhouse. She knew that they weren't expecting her and since being home, she had learned of Hap's little fling with a sweet butt. She wanted to catch him in the act, she wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to fight and fuck until she passed out.

"Whats got you so stuck in your head girl?" Lonnie asked

"You remember in Juvie when I had that visitor that I wouldn't tell you guys about?" T asked.

Both girls nodded. The remembered the day well, Tay had been in a foul mood after that and when some white hate bitch looked at her wrong Tay fucked her up so bad she ended up having to go to the hospital. They thought that T would get extended time for that for sure, but she didn't. She got out the same day as the rest of them.

"It was Seth." She replied.

Marcy and Lonnie both wore looks of shock, they didn't know much about T's life before Juvie and Tacoma. They didn't really know shit about Seth, they didn't know what he looked like or what their relationship had been like. All they knew was that he was her first love and part of the Carolina Hell's Angels.

"Its time to talk about it with the guys, I saw him while I was home. We didn't kill each other like I always thought we would, but he gave me back my old necklace and Ana saw it. I have to tell the guys now, I never wanted to go back down that road. I wanted to leave that shit in the past where it belongs, but I owe it to Jonny and the guys to tell them about my life in Carolina. Shit isn't meant to stay a secret forever." T replied.

"Yeah, maybe it is time for them to know everything. Maybe its time for us to know too." Marcy replied.

"This weekend we all need to get together and do a full disclosure. Everyone thinks that betweens us we have no secrets but we do, we have too many." Lonnie replied.

T nodded. "well I better head off to this party. Don't wait up for me. We will have a girls night this weekend and than next week when Ana goes back to school I will go talk to your guys director and see if I cant get on the team. Its time to grow up and make more out of my life than a killing." T replied before hugging both her girls and leaving the house.

"Damn, now that you said that I realize I have a lot of secrets you guys don't know about."Marcy replied.

"Me too girl, we never really talked about what our lives were like before Juive, we just made plans and talked about the future we wanted when we got out." Lonnie replied.

-LK-

T pulled into the clubhouse late, the party was already in full swing. Walking in she spotted Hap with a sweet butt sitting on his lap. She was pissed but for now she wouldn't let it show, he hadn't even noticed she was there yet. Koz was sitting with Maria on his lap next to Hap and his whore. Maria looked over and spotted T, she waved. T gave her a head nod back and walked towards the bar. She noticed that as she was walking towards the bar people were noticing her and getting quiet. She kept her face neutral but she was waiting for someone to yell out to her. She couldn't wait to see the look on Hap's face when he noticed she was there. She grabbed her shots from the bar and slammed them before taking the beer and looking back to where Hap was. Koz was looking at her now, and she knew that though her face was calm Koz would know she was mad.

"T where the hell have you been?" Jonny yelled out from the pool tables in the back.

T didn't take her eyes off Hap as he shoved the girl off his lap and his head flung up. The girl hit the floor with a thud.

"Sorry was talking to Lonnie and Marcy, seems I wasn't missed though" She replied while still looking at Hap.

She noticed the anger flare in his eyes, completing her mission she turned her head towards Jonny. She flashed him a smile before motioning for the prospect to give her more shots. She ignored the looks everyone was giving her. She slammed her shots and turned around. She planned on heading towards the pool game Jonny had going on, instead she ran straight into Hap's chest.

She looked up at his face "There's this thing, its called personal space. Your invading mine, why don't you go back over there to that bitch and invade hers."

She watched his eyes change, she noticed him clenching his fists. She stood tall and impassive, her eyes never leaving his. After a few moments she pushed her chest against his.

"That was me telling you to move Hap." She said pushing harder on his chest.

Hap wrapped his hands around her wrists as she went to push him again. Neither noticed that the whole bar was quiet, they were both wrapped up in their anger at the other. Hap kept a loose hold on her wrists. He didn't want to fight her again, he didn't want to do it here in front of everyone. T liked to push him though, so much to the point of where he felt like he was going crazy. His mind was still wrapped in the fact that she had been in Florida, he realized than that he was worried that she wouldn't come back.

T looked down at her wrists in Hap's hands. His hold was loose, he was worried, relieved and mad. She could read it in his body language. She didn't even say shit to Hap as she grabbed her beer off the bar and walked towards Jonny. She ignored the shocked faces and she didn't pay attention to Hap's boots clomping after her. She took a long pull of her beer, she needed to get her head right or Hap would sneak attack her ass and that wouldn't be good. She sat down in the chair Jonny had just vacated. She watched him analyze the table, picking his shot. She watched Mac as he watched Jonny. She wanted to talk to someone about Seth but it was so long ago that she knew she should of brought it up sooner. She should of done it the day she got there, the day she got out of Juvie, or even the day that he called. No one knew that he flew all the way up just to visit her in Juvie. The trip was over, she was home now and she knew that Hap had won. The problem was that he didn't. She wasn't really worried about Hap, D, the girls or Ana. Taking about Seth with Ana, made her realize that it was time to tell someone about her life before Tacoma.

-LK-

As Hap followed behind T, he realized that she was locked in her head. She was worried about something and Hap had a feeling that it wasn't the bitch that had been on his lap or the girls that D had been fucking. He knew that it had something to do with the road trip. He wasn't too sure how to feel about that.

"So you saw your dad huh? I bet Ana loved being able to spend all that time with the horses." Jonny asked T.

"Yeah, she had a good time. I did too. I finally read the letter from him. The sad part is that I wasn't so worried about seeing him or the girls or the fact that I had been away for so long. I was more worried about the people I might run into, people I haven't seen in a long time." T replied.

You know T, you never said what kind of trouble you got into while you were there. You never said why you didn't want to go back. Should I be worried?" Jonny asked.

T didn't reply right away. "Everything was fine Jonny, Ana and I are both home in one piece."

Mac was still looking at T though and Hap knew that look. Something wasn't right and he wanted to know what it was. Hap walked over and took the seat next to T and put his arm around her.

"Personal space Hap, I wont tell you again. I'm just going to start swinging." She said throwing his arm back on his lap.

The whole bar was quiet again.

"Jesus would you guys quit doing that! We are not a fucking biker soap opera. Quit fucking staring" T shouted.

Everyone went back to what they were doing, but Mac, Hap and Jonny kept staring at her. T didn't say shit as she leaned back. Hap put his hand on her leg, not really thinking she was serious about fighting him when everyone was looking. He felt her fist connect with his arm though.

Hap didn't say shit as he hit her leg. The two stared at each other. They flicked Jonny off as he told them to take it to the ring. T shoved Hap out of the chair, a lot like how he has shoved the bitch from earlier. She didn't get up from her chair as she watched him hit the floor. She didn't care that the whole bar was now watching or that Jonny was headed fastly towards her while Mac headed towards Hap. She sat in her chair passively, something she knew pissed Hap off. She wasn't sure why she was so pissed off at him, he wasn't her's and she most certainly was not his but for some reason that bitch had set her off and triggered memories of her past. She wanted to erase her past, her life and everything else before she became T. No matter how much memories can teach you, sometimes reliving them hurts too damn much. T took her eyes off Hap for one second , as she felt his hand slap her face and fell out of the chair, she realized her mistake. She messed up one of the most basic rules as a killer or really in life in general. Never take your eyes off the enemy not even for a second because that's all it takes to give them the upper hand.

She stood up quickly, as she took a step towards Hap, she felt herself being pulled back. Hap had Mac and Koz holding him back while Jonny had a tight hold on T's arms. She didn't struggle, she just stood and glared at Hap. She turned easily when Jonny turned her and she spotted the bitch that had been on Happy's lap. Jonny let go of her arms as she started to walk forward. The girl was sitting almost in the direction as the door, making Jonny assume that was where T was headed. It was too late when T changed paths and headed towards the girl, for anyone to stop her.

T had her hand in the girls hair, ignoring her nails and cries of pain as she slammed her fist into the bitches face. She ignored the blood that flew off of the whores face every time T hit her. She knew that her face probably had a huge smile on it as she felt someone wrap their arms around her and lift her up. T didn't let go of the death wrap she had on the girls hair. She pulled the girl closer and wrapped her hand around her throat. T leaned in close to the girl, paying no attention to the people trying to pry the girl away from her, she whispered

"I don't know who you are and I don't care. Listen and listen well you little whore. If I catch you anywhere near Happy or this clubhouse, I will fucking kill you."

T dropped the girl than. Some of the bitches hair being ripped out as she tore her hand loose.

"And baby, that's not a threat, it's a promise." T said loud enough for everyone to hear before storming out of the clubhouse. She ignored the shouts of people calling after her, she walked to her car and unlocked the door. Sliding in, she started the car up before lighting a cigarette. She rolled the window down a crack and locked the doors. Turning the music up loudly, she sat in her car. She turned when someone pounded on the glass, she wasn't surprised to see Koz.

"Let me in or come out." He said loudly over the music.

"Naw, I think I'm good. Thanks though." T replied before flicking her cigarette out the window and rolling it up. She turned the music up louder as she watched everyone surround her car. She wasn't going anywhere, not that she had anywhere she really wanted to go. She was tired of feeling like the past was coming back to haunt her. She was tired of fighting to prove she was as good as any other killer in the club, and she was tired of feeling like nothing she ever did was good enough for any man she ever loved. She knew it was only a matter of time before Jonny used her spare key to get in, him or Mac would be in her car soon. But for now she just let the music take over and drown out all thoughts of who she used to be and who she would never be again.

-LK-

Mac stood quietly as he watched T and Hap go at it. He grabbed a hold of Hap after he smacked T. After all something would have to be done considering she just made him look a fool in front of the club, not only the club he started out in but in front of the nomad president. Mac could tell that from the minute T walked in and saw the bitch on Hap's lap that she was itching for a fight and Hap played right into her hand. Mac knew from her comment about who she would see in her hometown and the pensive look on her face that T was worried about something or rather someone. Everyone tried to get her to spill her guts about life before Tacoma, about how she knew so much about club life and just life in general. Mac knew that T had kept a big secret, and he had a feeling that she wished she would of spilled sooner. It was never really too late, but Mac had a feeling that T felt backed into a corner. She trapped herself and that was a mistake she never made.

Mac was broken from his thoughts when he heard bone crunch, right before everyone started shouting out orders. Everyone was too afraid to approach T when she was out for blood, everyone but the men who ever loved her. Mac was included in that group, so he headed over and wrapped his arms around the whore. T still had her hand wrapped in the girls hair and Mac wasn't sure how she got her hand around the girls throat but somehow T had. He watched as T whispered in the girls ear before letting go and roughly ripping her hand free from the chicks hair.

Mac looked at T, though she didn't see him or anyone else because she was still staring at the girl, he took in her appearance. She had blood on her hand, her arms and all over her shirt. Mac heard the words T spoke to the girl, he heard the anger and the pain laced into them. He watched as T stormed out, grabbing Jonny's arm as he went to follow.

"She wont leave, something is wrong though. Give her a minute, look Koz is going out after her. Everyone will and we can surround her car before using the spare to get in. Let me talk to her though, I have the best chance of getting through to her right now." Mac told his president.

Jonny watched him "Damn right something is wrong with her, she caught Hap with a bitch on his lap." Jonny took out his keys and handed them to Mac before turning around and looking for Hap.

"God damn it Happy, you guys have already done enough. You just got to keep pushing her, one of these days someone is going to end up dead." Jonny yelled out, most of the people were now outside probably surrounding T's car.

"Its more than that Jonny. Something is eating at that girl. What happened in Charlotte that has her like that?" Glen asked laying his hand on Jonny's shoulder before giving Hap a sharp look.

"We don't know. Her life before here is a secret, a big fucking one. I've talked to Remy and Ari, both of them told me what they could. Trust me, it wasn't much. All they said was T was dating a biker dude or something before she moved here. They said T never brought him home, never even told her his last name or where she lived. They never met him, said that T kept him a secret, they don't even know his name."

"That would explain how she knew so much about club life when she came here. I know you taught her some stuff but she knew way too much, she knew exactly how to act, what to say, everything." Mac replied.

"Could be why she's always worried about going to Carolina and why she never went back until now. Maybe shit ended badly when she told him she was moving. You know how we are." Hap replied.

Jonny and Mac nodded. Mac was connecting the dots. A lot of shit that had never made sense before was making sense now. T was in this life when she was Tay, she was hard cored and club oriented even before she became part of the sons.

"Think she ran into mystery dude while she was there? Fuck what if she killed him? God damn it I knew this whole damn road trip was a bad idea." Jonny replied looking at the door with worry.

"She needed too, she needs to let go of her past for her future. This has got to be huge if not even Marcy and Lonnie know about it. Those three have no secrets, or at least I thought they didn't." Mac replied before leaving the men in the clubhouse and heading out towards the crowd and T's car. It was time to learn more about T's past because something wasn't right.

-LK-

T held Seth's necklace in her hand tightly, she felt her grip tighten even more when she heard the key in the lock.

Mac and T didn't say anything for awhile. T squeezed her eyes and hand shut tight before moving her hand over Mac's lap and letting go.

Mac looked at T. "Its never too late you know."

"I know" T replied in a quiet voice.

-LK-

Hap squeezed his eyes shut tight as he heard the bar stool next to his scrape across the floor. He wasn't looking forward to the lecture Jonny was going to give me. Koz and Maria had taking the sweet butt home after Hap told her to get lost and forget she ever knew him. He told her to take T's advice. Hap wasn't sure what was going to happen to the girl, but he was sure it wasn't good. She acted like she knew too much and the club didn't need some nobody sweet butt running to the feds or a rival club.

"Koz called, said that its done. Looks like Maria passed the first real club test. Koz said if he has to clean up one of your messes again he's going to kill you himself. Oh and he said I told you so." Jonny said breaking the silence.

Hap looked over at him before nodding. Happy noticed that though he wasn't a lot older than Jonny that Jonny looked old. Happy realized that the stress involved in being a pres, wore you down even faster than being a killer. It probably didn't help that Jonny had to worry about Hap fucking shit up with T. T kept a lot more people in the club grounded than just him.

"I'm pretty sure that T is in the mind set for settling down, if your not with that than walk away right now. Let it all go, you know T's dad is in okay health right now but when he dies all of the family land that's left goes to T. If you are done than let her go, its going to hurt but she might be better off in Carolina than here if she doesn't have you. I saw the pictures from the trip, Ana was showing me and Sarah today. Shes doing a scrapbook for T's birthday, and in those pictures she wasn't just T the little killer and bitch we all know and love. She was the girl I used to know, she was at home in Carolina."

Hap looked at Jonny.

"You saw her today though, something happened in Carolina that's got her on edge more than usual."

"Yeah, but it didn't help that T had only been in town for an hour when she found out that the whole time she had been gone you were up in the whores house playing fucked up biker version of family. T has held too much in for too damn long. Mac will get her to spill her guts and I'm sure that when she's done she's going to need you to be there for her. So if your serious about settling down than do it for her, with her. " Jonny said before getting up and walking away.

Hap stared at his beer, Jonny had a good point. Hap needed to man the fuck up, T wouldn't just let him make her his, if he wouldn't belong to her as well. Hap knew that T would let him think that the sun rise and set on his ass but if he was going to be a dick and push her, he had better prepare for her to be a bitch and push back.

-LK-

Mac picked up the item that T had dropped onto his lap. Flipping on the car light he looked at the blood coated necklace for a long time. He knew what it was and though only one woman had ever worn anything of his he knew its meaning well. T had belonged to another before coming to Tacoma, not just dated or was a girlfriend. She was an old lady, property, a wife in every way but the legal kind. And in the biker world that shit meant more anyways.

"No wonder the Angels in Carolina had such an interest in you. The president Seth, that's what the S stands for huh?" Mac asked

"Yeah, I gave it back to him the night before I moved here. I saw him while I was there and he told me he wanted me to have it. Said no one else but me ever wore that one. I've seen the pictures of the other girls he had and has given them to. Theirs are all the same but mine is different."

"Guess that explains how you knew so much about MC life. You know what this stands for right?"

"Wife, old lady, property. I know what it stands for, I lived it, wore it and embraced it for six months before I moved here. The night I told him I was moving we got into a huge fight, why do you think I wore long sleeves and made sure my hair covered my neck. I like rough sex and fighting and I didn't learn it from Hap. He was planning on giving me a ring, showing me the drawing of my tat and making shit super official so that when I turned 18 it would all be set and ready to be done. Instead I told him I was moving. I told him its out of our hands now, that I had to go or Jonny would have the whole damn club looking for me and I didn't want that falling on his head."

"mhmm… I bet that made him hate you and love you more than he ever did." Mac replied, fishing for more info. He wanted to hear the whole story. He wanted T to get it all out.

"I wouldn't really know, I didn't keep in contact with him. I never told him where I lived or my last name or anything. I didn't even keep my ID on me when I was with him. I didn't want him to know who I was. I didn't want to get status for being related to Jonny the Tacoma SOA president. I wanted to be me, they all knew that my cousin was the president of a club they just didn't know which one. I don't know how he did it but he found out all my info and flew up to see me when I was in Juive. He told me that when I got out to come home and be with him, said if he couldnt have me no one would. Said if I didn't come home, I better not ever come to Carolina again because I wouldn't be leaving one way or the other. That's why I never went home, that's why I waited for so long. We talked while I was there. He thought he was the only one who had been looking. I know all about him getting pres, and his son that's almost five. We left on good terms but being in Carolina I realized that I never really let go of him or my past. I kept that shit bottled up and a secret because I wanted something that was mine and mine alone. I was tired of sharing."

"So, you still love him?" Mac asked.

"I will always love him, he's my first love and part of the reason I am who I am. Its time to grow up, settle down, and get a real job and I want all that, with Happy."

Mac felt his face break out in a smile, before nodding his head. He was proud of T, she finally figured out what she wanted.

"Well damn girl, its about time!"

-LK-

**So I have to send my laptop in to get fixed because its not fucking charging **** its going to take about two weeks to get back but I wanted to get something out to you guys. This chapter is a little stupid and fluffy and I might end up changing it but for now I hope that you guys enjoyed it! Review and let me know **


	19. Complete circle

**An: So I got my laptop back and I am in complete bliss! Here is your chapter! I hope you guys like it! It took a lot out of me. There is a part where you should listen to a song, well I thought it went well. Enjoy the chapter and please review! I don't know that you like it if you don't review! **

**xXx Layla's mommy 3**

T woke up with a hangover, in a bed wearing a shirt she was pretty sure belonged to Happy. As she tried to move she felt an arm tighten around her. Looking down she saw the tan, tattooed arm and knew right away she was in Happy's dorm. T laid still for a moment trying to remember last night. She remembered finding Hap with the whore on his lap, she remembered fighting him, she knew she fucked the girl up and that she spilled her guts to Mac in her car. Oh yeah and after that Jonny joined them in the car with a bottle of Jack, T was pretty sure she drank the whole bottle while Mac retold Jonny the story.

T flung Happy's arm off of her and sat up, causing him to lazily open his eyes and look at her. "Morning babe." He said with a slow smiling creeping onto his face. T ignored him as she climbed out of bed. She had finally had it all figured out, until she caught Hap with that whore playing happy biker family. That pissed her off and she knew had she been in her right mind last night she wouldn't of ended up in bed with him. It was one thing to fuck while he was on the road and he was Nomad so he was on the road a lot, but to shack up with some bitch at her club house, that was wrong. She could of fucked Jay, or Seth and in fact she had wanted to do both but she didn't because she didn't want to hurt Happy. What a load of crap that turned out to be. She knew in her heart at some point she would forgive him but right now she just didnt have it in her.

T searched around for her clothes, stripping off Happy's shirt glad to find her panties were still on a tell tale sign that she didn't fuck him last night. She didn't want to touch him, not after that whore had slobbed all over his cock with her nasty mouth and cooter. She didn't even glace back at him while she dressed, not even as she heard the bed squeak from him sitting up. She pulled her shirt over her head and walked towards Hap's pants. Picking them up she pulled out her keys. Shoes in hand she walked towards the door, not stopping even as she heard Happy's voice call out to her, she scooped her bag up and opened the door. She was sure that Happy would follow her but at the moment her head was pounding and she wanted nothing more than to go home and go back to bed. She would call Mac and Jonny later to get the whole story on the rest of what happened last night.

T ignored all of the guys who looked at her as she walked into the main room of the clubhouse. She didn't smile or nod or anything she just kept her eyes on the door. Jonny stepped into her line of vision, a bottle of water and a cigarette already lit and held them out to her. She took them from him and gave him a slight smile. he handed her a shirt that was hanging off the back of a chair.

"Your bloody and look like shit. I'm sure your destination is home not the police station." He said with his trade mark smirk.

T hit the cigarette a couple times before handing it to Jonny and sliding the shirt over her head. She took it back from him once the shirt was on. She gave him a hug and walked out the door, not looking back even though she could hear someone following her. The sun was bright in her face and hurt her head even more. She unlocked the door and climbed into the car. As she was fishing threw her bag for sunglasses she heard a knock at the window. Happy was standing there, his hand on the door handle. She looked at him and shook her head as she slid the shades on. His dark eyes looked open, almost like he was trying to show her his soul. She didn't say anything as she started the car, Hap did the unexpected than. He stepped away from the car, T pulled out of the lot but when she looked back, he was still standing there staring after her. He's chest covered in tats and scars, his jeans hung low. T thought that for once Hap looked normal, not like the killer he usually was. And for the first time since she woke up she really wondered what the hell got said last night.

-LK-

Mac stayed seated as he watched T come out of Hap's room. He said nothing as he handed Jonny a bottle of water and a cigarette for her. T had opened up last night and Mac knew better than to push her. He didn't hear all of her and Hap's conversation but he also didn't hear fighting or moaning or head board banging once they went into his room either. He heard T's voice sounding soft and venerable and Hap's voice tender and calming in reply. That was a new thing for them, together or apart. She didn't even sound like that when she told him about Seth and Carolina.

Mac watched the whole exchange between Jonny and T he saw their relationship rebuilding itself, again. The pair of them and their relationship had changed a lot of different times for a lot of different reasons since T had moved here. The first being when T got close to Koz, the next when T went to Juvie, again when Sarah had Junior, when T became the little killer and the last being when all the Hap-T-Koz drama went down. Mac had never seen two family members as close as those two, go through as much as they had and still have room to grow and change. They would repair their relationship and be closer because of it. Cousins by blood but brother and sister by life, that was a saying they had and Mac was surprised that there wasn't a tattoo to follow it.

Mac wasn't surprised to see Hap come out of his room or that he followed T out to her car. Mac could tell that they hadn't talked yet, which meant that T didn't remember much after drinking that whole bottle of Jack. She would though, she always did after enough sleep and time to think. Mac would keep his phone by him all day because at some point T would call for clarifying details of the previous night. Mac looked out the window and as he did, he watched Hap step away from T's car. He was impressed that Hap wasn't forcing her to talk to him, he was giving her space to get her thoughts together before they talked. Their talk last night must have been good for Happy, and hopefully their relationship would prosper from it. A lot must have been said the night before, and by the look on Hap's face, Mac knew he was right.

-LK-

Happy couldn't get last night out of his head. He held T tight to him all night, spooning and cuddling in a way he never had before. T had never been an emotional drunk but after spilling her guts to Mac about that Carolina biker dude, she spilt her guts to Hap about everything that had to do with him. Some of the shit she said hurt him bad, in a way only his momma had ever been able to do. Some of it made him feel like he was on cloud nine and some of it just made him feel confused. T had been lost for a long time, in so many different ways that Hap was surprised she found a way up. One conversation stuck with him the most though because even though he was a bad ass killing biker machine, it made him want to cry.

"_That girl, Happy she might not of meant shit to you but what she had is what I want. She had my life, she lived my life I don't care that it was only for three weeks. She got to be laid up in a house with you, cooking and cleaning and laundry. She got to wake up to you in the morning, doesn't matter that yo0u didn't cuddle with her. That bitch, that whore she had my life Hap. She was acting like she was me, she had you and status and whatever the fuck. You gave that to her, you gave my life away. That's what fucking hurts Hap. You got jealous and tossed me aside like I didn't fucking matter." _

_Hap had been speechless after that, because he wasn't sure what to say. He didn't see that way and that was all he could tell her _

"_No one replaces you T, no guy who has ever loved you can replace you. Koz and Maria are happy and good together but she doesn't replace you, that biker dudes baby momma didn't replace you and no one will replace you for D. Being with her was never even a thought, I knew once you came home that it would be us, living in a house, you I was waking up to." _

"_Doesn't matter Hap, that's what she thought. It don't matter how many times you told her different because you were showing her different. Your nomad, you fuck around on the road. I know that, but this is my home Hap, you don't fuck around on me here."_

_Hap wanted to get mad at her for trying to boss him around but as he thought it over again he realized that what she said should be true. What she said was true. He disrespected her in the hugest way possible and that might be something she wont be able to forgive. Hap remembered leaning in and whispering in her ear "I love you, only you." T's reply almost killed him_

"_I don't know if I can forgive you Happy. I wanted to be happy, together but I just don't know if I can." _

Just thinking about that caused Hap to slam the door to his dorm, he was so lost in thought he didn't even realize that he walked in the clubhouse and into his room. He was trying to do the right thing when he stepped away from T's car and let her drive off but he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he might never see her again, that she might never forgive him and if she didn't, Hap knew he would never forgive himself.

-LK-

Maria felt nervous as she entered the main room of the clubhouse. There were people sitting around, the guys all watching TV, playing pool and whatever else it was they did normally. It felt tense in the room though. She felt their eyes on her and for the first time since becoming Koz's old lady, she felt unwelcome and out of place. She didn't say anything as she heard a door slam and from just looking over the room, she knew that it was Happy. Spotting Koz, the worry written on his face made Maria's mood sink even lower. Even Koz's arms wrapped around her couldn't make her feel better. When shit with T was rough, everyone was in a bad mood. Maria knew that it was because of her other girls thought that they could get away with more. She was worried about how that was going to affect Koz more so than how it would affect her.

"Don't worry baby. Shit will blow over." Koz whispered to her. His arms were wrapped tightly around her but she still felt like she was alone and open."Besides, you proved yourself last night" He added. That made her getting a sick feeling in her stomach.

She had a huge feeling that once they left the clubhouse with a bloody and passed out Rachel that her hands wouldn't be clean anymore. Just thinking of what they did the night before made her want to puke. Rachel had pushed too hard, got in too deep and even though Maria had warned her, she still felt like there was more she could of done to save the girl. Even though Maria felt bad, she knew that it could have just as easily been her that wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. They didn't kill her but they weren't to sure that she would survive either. Rachel was in a hospital room, with a serious concussion and the Doctors said that if she woke up she would have some serious memory loss. It was the only way to make sure that she wasn't killed but Maria didn't like it. Rachel wouldn't remember the sons or T or any of them. Maybe though, she was better off, being an old lady wasn't easy. It was scary, dangerous and unpredictable. Maria didn't know how T could handle being as large of a part of that life as she was.

-LK-

Koz was worried about T, Happy and Maria. Even with his arms wrapped tightly around Maria, he still felt like she was going to disappear. T wouldn't let that happen though, and Koz took comfort in that. Maria had proved herself last night and even if some of the guys still worried about it, no one would go against T's wishes. T was a force to be reckoned with and the only man in this club who would willingly stand up to her was Hap. Koz figured that as long as Maria still had T's respect she was safe from harm, even from other clubs. No one would mess with T because while she loved her guys, she would kill them in a heartbeat if need be, even Happy and Jonny. Koz still loved her, in fact he was sure that every man who had ever loved her still did. She was like that though, no one ever forgot her, no one ever replaced her and no one could ever be compared to her. She was in a category all her own, no one could ever compete with that.

While Koz was sure T knew the power she held over them, she never misused it. She took care of her own, something that had to be a West family trait because Jonny was the same. Koz looked towards Hap's dorm. He was worried that Hap had fucked shit with T up for good this time. Koz knew that Hap would never survive without T, at least not really. He would be alive but he wouldn't be living, T was his soul and without her, Hap would go off the deep end. Koz didn't want to watch his best friend go down that road. As always, it was up to him and Mac to fix this shit. Jonny was way past done trying to save them, and Hap was in a bad place with T. Whatever they talked about the night before must not of fixed shit or T would still be in Hap's bed.

Koz looked across the room to where Mac was sitting. He nodded his head and after a nod back, he knew that they were in business. Operation save T and Hap was about to go underway. Koz just hoped that they all survived trying to fix it.

-LK-

T ignored her phone, she was still tired and she had a meeting with the girls and their boss in a couple hours. She didn't feel like dealing with club drama or relationship drama or even as much as it hurt her to say, Ana's school drama. T just wanted to lay in bed and pretend that everything was going to work out the way she wanted it too. After an hour of trying to fall back asleep, she got out of bed and headed for a shower. Once showered, with her hair done she put on her heels and slacks with a nice button up shirt and a jacket. She wasn't surprised that Lonnie and Marcy were in the living room waiting for her, dressed the same way as she had.

"Ready to be a team again?" T asked her girls.

They both nodded. T smiled at them and scooped up her purse. It was time to grow up and get a real job. After all she couldn't kill people forever.

-LK-

It had been three days since anyone talked to T, Mac was sure she must of remembered a lot from the night she came home. She didn't even call and ask him about anything. Mac had gotten a little out of Happy and Koz got a little more but they still were not sure how to fix it. Mac pulled his phone out of his pocket and called T again. This time he listened to the voicemail instead of hanging up. Gone was the automated voice saying the number and to leave a message, instead he heard T's voice.

"_You have reached Taylor West, I am unable to answer the phone currently. Leave me a brief message with your name and number to be reached at and I will return your call as soon as I am able. Thank you and have a great day." _

Mac couldn't help it, he started to laugh. All of the men turned to him, wondering if maybe he had gone crazy.

"Anybody tried to reach T on her normal cell, not the burner?" Mac asked

Happy, Koz and Jonny nodded while the rest shook their heads. "Did you listen to her voicemail?" he asked

"Nope, I didn't think leaving a message would get me anywhere." Koz replied.

"I think our little killer went legit." Mac replied, laughing again at the shock on all of their faces.

-LK-

Ana was excited when her aunt pulled up to get her from school, instead of taking the bus. While she had been talking to her and texting with her everyday it had been since they got back from the trip since she had seen her. Ana dug her sunglasses out of her bag before climbing in. Once in the car she turned to her aunt and smiled. T had told Ana that she was doing the CSI work with her girls but looking at her aunt it was obvious that a lot had changed in the past four days. T's hair was down and in its usual curls but she had on dress pants with a cute cami, Ana spotted the jacket in the back.

"Wow, you look professional!" Ana said

T smiled at her "It looks funny on me huh?" she asked with a laugh.

"No, you look nice. Its just different, kinda like the cowboy boots and hat when we were in Carolina." Ana replied.

T nodded "Text your mom and tell her I picked you up so she doesn't worry when you don't get off the bus. Lets go get some food."

Ana took her phone out of her bag and opened it to text her mom. T turned the radio up as she sped down the main road. Ana didn't even ask where they were going, she was just happy to be back with her aunt.

-LK-

T had enjoyed spending the day with Ana, catching up on all the school drama she had missed, how classes were and which teachers she liked the most. T shared a little about work, mostly just saying that she liked working with her girls again, which was true. T didn't like the job much though. She missed her free time, she missed being wild and she missed the guys. She wouldn't admit it to anyone but T didn't think she was cut out to be a normal person, in fact she knew that she wasn't. Not that anyone she worked with would agree, T was already promoted to being the lead investigator of her team, which held ten people. She was the leader, she always had been a leader but this time something just wasn't sitting right. She felt like she was missing something. She knew it was more than just Happy, even though her heart hurt when she thought of him, she had been avoiding him and the rest of them for the past couple of days. Not just because she was mad at him, but because she felt like she was a traitor.

After all she was supposed to be the little killer, and here she was working for the law, wearing a suit and talking all proper. She let her accent come out more than her slang, but she felt like an imposter all the same. She was supposed to stand by her guys, by their woman and by Ana. She had pushed it all to the back burner when she started the job, but she knew she shouldn't have. In trying to squash the killer part of herself, she felt empty. She still had her skills no doubt, she was sure that they weren't even rusty but she felt… less of a person than she normally did. While she knew her job could be looked at as a good thing in case the Sons so happened to fall in with the law, she couldn't see it that way. She only saw it as a betrayal.

T pulled into the driveway, she wasn't surprised that Sarah was walking towards the car of that Jonny was blocking her in the drive.

"The guys wanna talk to you sis." Sarah said as she leaned in and gave T a kiss on the cheek before picking up Junior. T held her hands out of the window and took Junior in her lap and gave him a hug and a kiss.

"Yeah I figured that by Jonny blocking me in, wouldn't surprise me if he had a couple guys waiting to box me in so that I actually go to the clubhouse." T said with a shake of her head before telling Junior she loved him and handed him back.

"They just worry. We all do." Sarah replied as T shifted into reverse.

"I know, but I am no longer the girl I was when I first came here. You guys need to realize that I grew up." T added before waving out her window for Jonny to move back. She rolled the window up before Sarah could add anything else.

T turned right on to the main road and headed for the shop. She knew that Jonny was tailing her and she noticed a couple of the other guys were on either side of her. She pulled into the lot and parked. As she turned her car off and opened the door she heard the guys turn off their bikes. T wasn't happy with being dressed the way she was at the clubhouse but it wasn't like they gave her much choice, at least she still had her boots on. She lit up a smoke as she walked towards where Jonny was waiting for her.

"You could of called and told me to come by. I would have, I'm not hiding." T said as Jonny put his arm around her shoulders.

"The past twenty unanswered phone calls say different sis." He replied.

T rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses, this was ridiculous. She had a job and other shit to worry about besides club drama, but she knew in heart that the club was still number three. Right after Ana and Junior and her girls, her job didn't even rank in the top ten things that mattered. And if that wasn't a clue that shit was twisted she wasn't sure how much bigger of a sign she would need.

-LK-

Mac watched T from his bike, she still walked with her usual grace and confidence but it seemed as if she was weighed down slightly. Something Mac had hardly ever seen. T never crumpled under pressure, no matter where it came from or what she was facing. That was just her way. Even though the sun was setting Mac noticed she kept her eyes still hidden behind her shades, another T trait. They would stay in place until she gained her killer composure and nothing would be able to be seen. To everyone, T seemed to be confident and cool, but Mac always knew she used the time behind her shades to achieve that. He joined T and Jonny when they neared his bike.

"Hows it going baby?" Mac asked her as he leaned in for a hug. He felt T's embrace, it was warm and inviting and held something that Mac couldn't place a name too. He was sure that it was something very not T like.

"Still trying to figure shit out ya know?" She replied with a smile.

Mac nodded in response as he looked her over. T was always a looker, with that perfectly shaped body, the long dark hair and brown eyes that everyone swore went right to your soul. While she looked nice in what Mac could only assume were her work clothes, they looked out of place on her. The dress pants, were something he was pretty sure no one had ever seen her wear, the tank top thing was normal but looked more upscale that what she usually wore. She looked professional and that was… well different.

"Yeah, yeah I know. What the fuck am I wearing. It looks funny right?" She asked, causing Mac to realize he had been staring for too long.

"Just different is all." Mac replied.

T nodded her head but made no reply causing Mac to think that she was way more uncomfortable than she lead on. T turned on them than and walked towards the clubhouse.

"She never was one for beating around the bush." Jonny said as he started after her. Mac nodded in response and while he still couldn't place it, something felt off.

-LK-

Maria clung tightly to Koz as they all awaited T's arrival. She didn't know where she stood with her and that worried the shit out of her. Because even though she would never admit it, Maria would rather be on the bad side of a lot of different club members than T. If T wanted her gone there would be no 'respect the brotherhood' it would just be done, on her terms with or without the club. That was just T's way. Maria had no ideals that going legit would change the woman, in fact Maria was sure that it would only make her be more careful. Maria knew though, that no one would miss her but Koz.

She held her breath as the club door opened, while she sat by Koz's side and tried to act like she had no fear, she was sure she looked freaked out. Everyone looked towards the door as T strolled in. She looked different in business clothes but you could tell she was still the same scary ass woman. Maria watched as T scanned the room, and though Maria couldn't see T's eyes she was sure they stopped on her. No one said anything as T approached them, and Maria felt like doomsday was approaching. She just hoped that she survived.

-LK-

As she walked into the clubhouse the smell of beer, smoke, man and grossly enough pussy, comforted her, for the first time in days she felt at home. She scanned the room, looking for Hap and Koz. While she didn't see Hap any where she did see Koz and Maria. T wanted to laugh at the fear that was displayed on Maria's face but she didn't think that the woman would find it funny. While T approached the pair, she noticed Maria's unease grow. T racked her brain for what would of caused that affect and realized it probably had something to do with the sweet butt thing. T figured she should fix that.

"Maria, I'm not going to kill you, so stop looking at me like your waiting for me to pull out my gun." T commented when she was in front of them. Koz laughed, but T noticed Maria's sigh of relief. She saw Maria nod and Koz pat her hand, T knew than and there the Maria had been worrying about it for awhile.

"If you were so worried, you could of called. I would of put your mind at ease days ago. " T added before turning to Koz and flipping her shades up. She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek.

"I told her there was nothing to worry about but everyone has been on edge since you and Hap, whatever the fuck it is that happened between you too. They guys have been acting like dicks. Making her feel uncomfortable and shit, I think everyone was waiting on your word before allowing her into the fold." Koz replied with a smile

T shook her head, while she knew she wasn't an actual member of the club, she did control all of the women involved. She just didn't figure that anyone would have had a problem if she didn't. "I guess I should of made myself clear then, you guys are happy, I'm happy for you. This no longer includes me. As long as your not shaking up with Hap, I really don't care." T replied

She watched as Koz got a nervous look on his face and began looking around. T took that as a cue to look around as well. She noticed a sweet butt stumble out of the hallway, her haired dyed in what she assumed was a horrible copy of her own. She watched the hallway as Hap came out after her, zipping his pants close. As she meet his eyes, she turned cold. She saw the girl out of the corner of her eye looking scared and quickly making an exit out of the door. T let out a huge sigh and turned back towards Koz, who was glaring daggers over her head.

"So" Koz said tearing his eyes away from happy. "Hows it feel being legit."

T shrugged "Feels nice to work with the girls again, I already got promoted to being team leader." T replied in a monotone. She didn't want to let her anger at Happy out. She was tired of feeling like she was in an episode of Biker and restless. She didn't want to be the soap opera anymore. She wanted to go back to normal or what was as close to normal as she knew. It didn't include these clothes with a 9-5 job, no matter how good it paid. She wanted to be back in the shop office, taking calls, arranging tows and ordering lunches. She wanted to be out there on the back of a bike, she wanted to pull her trigger at a paper target or a real one. She wanted that back but she didn't know how to get it back. She gave up Koz to Maria, she scared D into hating her, and Hap couldn't figure out how to keep it in his pants. She supposed there was always Carolina but she didn't want to go there yet. She still had time to figure shit out, before she had to make a decision. Daddy was still well enough to oversee the farm and the horses, she still had time to figure shit out.

-LK-

Hap said nothing as his hand wrapped around the sweet butts hair, it was dyed the same color as T's and for a moment her imagined it was her. he quickly got rid of the delusion and forced his cock further down the bitches throat in a way he would never do with T. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be with another bitch, T was bound to show up at the clubhouse soon and he should be ready to face her wrath and hope for forgiveness and some awesome make up sex, but for some reason when the bitch offered him a blow job he couldn't turn her down. After he came half in her mouth and half on her face he stood her up and pushed her toward the door. She need to get gone before T saw her and fucked her up too.

As Happy walked out of the hallway and into the main room, he finished zipping his pants and looked up. His eyes connected with T's and he immideatly knew that he had been caught. He saw the pain in her eyes even though it only lasted a moment before becoming the killer mask he had come to learn to hate. She turned her head back towards Koz and his chick. Hap ignored the death glares coming from Koz and just about everyone else and focused on T. She was dressed differently, but still as beautiful as always. While he wanted to go and throw her over his shoulder and drag her off to his dorm, he knew that it wouldn't go over well and that he might get shot. So he stood there, in front of the hallway and begged her with his mind to forgive him. Happy heard someone approach and looked over to see Mac.

"Really? You could wait until after she came? Damn it Hap. Me and Koz are trying to fix shit, you make that impossible you know? T will only forgive so much and I think you might be over your limit. Get it together fast or give the fuck up. I sure as hell wont put my balls on the line for you." Mac said, looking away from Hap and towards T.

Happy wanted to hit him for the look of love he wore in his eyes but he knew that it was stupid. A whole hell of a lot of men loved T. What it came down to was who she loved back, who she gave a chance too. Happy knew that he didn't have a lot of room for mistake left. He knew that Mac was right and that while he wanted T to forgive him for everything, he knew if the tables were turned he might not forgive her for anything.

"Women are way stronger than men." Hap replied as he headed back down the hall towards his dorm. He knew he better take a shower before going anywhere near T. Not that it would make much of a difference but he knew that it would show her he was at least putting towards an effort.

-LK-

Mac watched Hap walk towards his dorm. He shook his head before going and taking a seat next to T. He placed his hand across her shoulders and was pleasantly surprised when she leaned in. She took his free hand and squeezed tightly. He knew that T spilling her guts had changed their relationship. Mac felt like at the moment T was leaning on him for strength and when she whispered "Help me" He knew he was right. Mac stayed seated when T stood up and headed towards the bar. He waited for a couple moments before joining her. She had a bottle of Jack in front of her, Mac watched her take a swig of it as he took a seat next to her

"What do I do?" She asked him.

"You take a couple shots and head down to his dorm to talk to him. He's really fucked up without you. All those girls mean nothing but a release to him. He isn't shacking up with anyone, that's the first girl I have seen him with since you got home. He's been hiding in his room. We had to force him on a mission. While I know that being drunk isn't an excuse I'm pretty sure hes toasted." Mac replied.

T nodded in response and took a huge swig of the bottle. She lit up a cigarette and smoked it slowly. "I hate my job. I feel like a traitor, and imposter." T said after another drink from the bottle.

"All we want is for you to be happy baby girl." Mac replied.

-LK-

T nodded in response to Mac's words but she couldn't figure out what made her happy. Was it her girls? Or Ana? Was it Happy? Or the horses on daddy's farm? T didn't have an answer. At some point all of them made her feel happy, but at the same time they pissed her off just as easily, the girls with the pressure to join the job, daddy with his constant need to be in control and Happy with the fact that he kept fucking hurting her and she kept letting him. T took a long hit off of her smoke before putting it out. She took another drink from the bottle and stood up. She turned to walk to Hap's dorm. She took two steps before turning back around and grabbing the bottle off of the bar.

Fuck it, she needed something to give her the strength to do this. Might as well get drunk. She walked down the hallway and opened Hap's dorm room. She could still hear the shower going, instead of sitting on the bed, she walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. She was sure Hap knew she was there, racking her mind for the words to say she took another swig from the bottle.

"You break my heart Hap." She whispered, looking out the doorway and into his room. His bed looked inviting and while cuddling had never really been her or Haps thing she wanted nothing more than to lay there wrapped in him. She took another swig of the bottle before she heard him say anything.

"I know and I'm sorry." She heard him say quietly, she almost didn't hear it over the shower. She heard the shower turn off and while she wanted to turn towards him, she took another swig of the bottle again. She didn't care if she would have a hangover in the morning. She was off, well on call but she was hoping for the day to be her own. She didn't want to work, she wanted to lay in bed.

**(Slide, goo goo dolls)**

She tried her hardest to ignore her Hap's nakedness but she found herself attracted to the skin just above where the towel was. His back was strong and muscular, just the sight of his tattoos was turning her on. She missed the sex, she missed how it felt to scratch her nails down his back. All in all she just plain missed him. It didn't matter about all the fucked shit that had been happening with him and her, with the Jack clouding her thoughts. She had a feeling that she was going to regret it in the morning but right now she didn't care. She took another swig of the bottle before she stood up. She pulled the cami off and unhooked her bra. She walked towards Hap, his back still to her. She ran her nails down his back, before leaning over him. She felt her nipples harden against his back, she kissed his shoulder and ran her nails down his back again. She felt him shiver, before she pulled away from him. Hap turned around and as she looked into his eyes, she saw his hunger. The look gave her goose bumps and she felt her panties get wet, just the sight of him turned her on. She pulled on his towel and watched it drop, she ran her hands down his chest and used her nails as she ran them back up. Hap grabbed her by her pants and pulled her close to him. She tilted her head up and looked at him. He looked down at her and leaned in to kiss her. She let him devour her, in some part of her mind she felt him undoing her pants but she couldn't focus on anything but his lips on hers. Happy wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, she wrapped her legs around him as he walked them over to his bed. He dropped her off on the bed, she felt his hand on slide into her pants but was quickly distracted as he took her nipple in his mouth. She let out a loud moan, not giving a fuck who heard. She felt Happy pull her pants down her legs, she groaned from the loss of contact as Hap's mouth left her nipple and trailed in a path of kisses down her stomach as he pulled her pants off. His kisses trailed down her legs as he pulled her panties off. She felt herself begin to shake as he kissed his way back up towards her pussy. She wanted him to suck her clit, she wanted him to make her cum before he slammed into her, she was turned on more than she could believe. She moaned loudly as his mouth connected with her lower lips. She lost all train of thought as he devoured her, kissing, licking and biting her. She felt her climax approach she heard herself moan out "Don't stop Happy, never stop." As she felt the rush of her orgasm take over, she almost screamed. She might have screamed she wasn't sure, but she felt herself let go. She felt Happy's body lay on top of hers, still in her haze, she felt his hand slide across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. She's felt the wetness around her eyes but she wanted to deny the fact that she could actually be crying. She felt Hap lean down and whisper in her ear as he slid inside of her

"I'm sorry, oh god I am sorry. I love you T, forgive me. Please forgive me."

He cut off any reply, before she could even think of one as he kissed her. She wrapped her legs around him as he started to pick up pace. She moaned and groaned as he slammed into her. She knew she was digging her hands hard into his back and that in the morning he would have marks. He didn't seem to notice or care, his pounding never stopping, she didn't want him to. She wanted to live in this moment forever. She wanted to lay with him, she wanted to be wrapped in him, she felt more complete with him than anytime else. She let her legs fall away and Happy pulled back, she didn't say anything as he looked at her, she didn't do anything but moan louder as his hand gripped her thigh tightly. Her moans got louder as he started to twist and pinch her nipples. He was wrapped into her, she was his world and when he was inside of her he felt complete. He felt untouchable, and even after he came he would want to stay next to her he wanted to stay inside of her. He looked down on her, underneath him and he couldn't help but to feel like this moment wasn't going to last forever like he wanted. As he felt his orgasm approach he let all thoughts of the future disappear. All he could feel was her pussy tightening around his dick, all he could feel was the rush. After it was over and he layed upon her, she hand running nicely over all the scratches she made, he prayed up to the stars that something would happen. That something this time would change it all. That he would get T, that she would be his. He felt like he sounded like a bitch, but he wanted a happily ever after with the only woman in the world he had ever loved and would ever love….

e


	20. Life keeps on changing

**So I'm back, hope I didn't lose all of you guys! As always I own nothing except the T and her people and my story line. And I don't have a beta, never have so all mistakes are my fault. It's a little hard to edit your own stuff. Lol **

T woke up with a shortness of breath, she felt like she was being crushed. As she moved her arms she realized that they were wrapped around some ones back. She ran her hands lightly down his back, she wasn't so drunk the night before that she didn't remember what happened. Happy, she had amazing sex with Happy, again. She wasn't sure why he felt the need to sleep on top of her, but for the minute she didn't want to worry about it. She kept running her hands down his back. She could feel where she scratched him the night before, some of them were deep in a way she was positive that they had to be painful. She could hear him breathing next to her ear. She wasn't sure what to do, she knew that she couldn't go back but she wasn't sure if she how to move forward. She would always love Happy, just like she would always love Seth but she wasn't sure if she could find it in her to let it all go and she knew that for shit to work out she needed to.

So much had changed over the course of a single summer. Her life kept flipping, she constantly felt drowned. She could see the light above the water but she couldn't figure out how to swim towards it. T took a deep breath, which she was glad for when Happy shifted and crushed her lungs again. She couldn't figure out how she slept like that all night. Happy could sleep anywhere, in any position so she wasn't surprised that he still hadn't woken up. She was thinking about just shoving him on the ground when a phone went off. She laughed as Happy's head flung up quickly, she ignored the smirk that he gave her as he rolled off of her to grab his phone. She waited a few seconds before getting up, to make sure that he was paying more attention to the phone than her. She grabbed her clothes and headed for the bathroom. She could hear Happy's voice getting louder through the bathroom door. He was arguing with someone, but T couldn't really find it in her to care about why. Before, when she was submersed in the club drama, every raised voice and argument had meaning to her. She felt bothered that her first thought wasn't what the hell is going on, but instead it was cant he shut the fuck up?

After she used the toilet, she pulled her pants and her cami. She slipped her heels back on and looked in the mirror. She looked closely at herself, she looked the same but she felt like an imposter still. Not even last night with Happy would get her mind off of her current problems. She pulled her hair up into a messy up do. It looked better than the birds nest that it was before. She was jarred from the mirror by Happy pounding on the door.

"come on T, I got shit to do." He called through the door.

She looked at the door for a moment before grabbing her purse and sliding her shades on. She flung the door open and walked out. Hap stepped in front of her. As he reached for her glasses, she smacked his hand away.

"Well, you wanted me out. Go do your shit." She said walking around him.

"We still need to talk T." He said to her back as she walked away. As she reached the door she turned around and looked at Happy. He was still naked, a sight that usually distracted her.

"Isnt this a turn of events, Happy actually wanting to talk?" She said in a smart tone before turning the knob and walking out. Not even bothering to close the door behind her. She knew that she was pushing him, but at the current moment she couldn't find it in her to care. She was too lost to find her way to the surface and with the way life was going, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Never before did she believe a day would come that would make her want to pull away from the club. Shaking her head, she picked her pace. She smiled and nodded at everyone who took the time to do so first but all that was running through her head, was she needed to get the fuck out of there.

-LK-

Happy stared at the still open door for a moment before walking over and slamming it closed. He walked around the bed to grab some clothes when he something pink caught his eye. He walked over to it slowly, the closer he got the more he was sure of what he was about to find. He reached down and picked the pink garment up. It was T's panties. The fabric, the style, the whole damn thing reminded Hap of the days before everything went to shit. T used to leave her panties in his room all the time, always in a random spot. Sometimes just sticking out slightly from under the bed, sometimes on his bathroom door knob, his pillow, and one time he found them hanging from his ceiling fan. He couldn't help it, he started to laugh. He opened his dresser drawer and threw the panties in with the huge pile already there. He closed the drawer before going through the rest of his dresser for clothes for the day. He was glad for finding her underwear, the memory put him in a good mood.

As he walked out into the main room he ignored the looks from his brothers, all of their eyes held questions. Happy couldn't answer them, even if he wanted too. Which he didn't. He walked outside to find Jonny, to let him know he needed to make a run for Glen. He spotted T, standing at her car smoking a cigarette and talking to Mac and Koz instead of having already left like he thought. Happy could tell it was some what of a heated argument because Koz was using his hands a lot as he talked and T was standing in a defensive position. Even though he couldn't see her eyes, he could read her body and he was pretty sure that if Koz didn't stop soon her defense was going to turn into offense. Happy tilted his head slightly when he saw T relax, Mac had said something to calm her in a way no one could do, except for Ana and Junior. Just their presence was like a soothing balm to T's killer instincts.

"What do you think they are taking about?" Hap heard a female voice ask.

He turned only to find Maria standing next to him, watching the threesome as well. Happy could see the worry and slight jealousy in her eyes. He shrugged his shoulder, as Maria tapped her foot on the ground. They watched for a few more seconds before Hap couldn't take her foot tapping anymore.

"Look, your going to have to get real used to not being in on a lot of shit. T, Koz and me, we have the type of bond that cant really be broken, even if one of us wishes it so. And more times than you think, we do wish that it didn't exist. She doesn't want him, shes happy hes with you, but don't go getting all jealous because T will kill you, with or without Koz's permission if you get on her bad side." Hap said to her before turning and walking away. Time was wasting and since he had to get out of bed with T and deal with her being a bitch, again. He better fucking get to hurt somebody.

-LK-

Maria stared after Happy with a look of shock on her face. He hardly ever said anything to her, and the fact that he just gave her a mouthful came as a shock. It took a moment for his words to sink in. Once they had, she wished that he wouldn't of spoken to her. She knew that legit or not, T still was in control of all the women involved in the club. Sarah may be the head old lady but T was the enforcer. Sarah could get her hands dirty but she never had too. T did all of that, T beat the shit out of sweet butts caught trying to fuck the wrong man, T made sure everyone knew their place, was taken care of and she was damn good at it. Maria shook her head. She and T were good, she wasn't going to kill her. Koz loved her and the club was starting to accept her. Her life was good, but she couldn't help but be jealous at the scene in front of her. T was a larger part of the club than she would ever be, and her bond with Koz was stronger than Marias would ever be as well. She couldn't help but be jealous that she would never be number one in Koz's heart. Maria let out a sigh before looking down at the paper in her hand. She had just gotten it back. It was now or never, and maybe just maybe, this would push T out. Just a little bit.

-LK-

T stood there staring at Koz and Mac who had ambushed her as she was trying to leave. At least Koz was done talking because T felt that she was for sure about to smack him. Mac must have noticed because he stopped Koz before he went any further. They were laughing when T heard the heels on the pavement. She looked towards the noise. Maria was walking towards them. T gave her a slight smile before turning back to Mac and their conversation. She was just about to ask Koz a question when she saw the paper fall from his hand. T scooped it up. She looked it over before she flipped her sunglasses up. She glared at Maria as she handed the paper to Mac, who had came to stand in front of her.

On the paper were test results. Pregnancy test results to be exact. Maria was pregnant, about five weeks. T wasn't tall enough to look over Mac, so she tried to step around him. Mac, with his eyes still on the paper followed her movements blocking the pair from her view.

"Move the fuck outta my way!" T said with a glare as she looked up at Mac.

Mac turned and looked back at Maria and Koz, who were just standing there. Maria looked happy and nervous while Kozik just looked shocked. Mac spotted Happy walking out of the office and shouted for him to come over. Mac whispered in his ear, and before T knew what was happening she was over a shoulder and being taken back into the club house.

T didn't even waste her energy fighting Hap. She knew it would be useless and to be honest she wasn't even in the mood for a fight. She flipped off everyone in the clubhouse who was hooting and hollering. She didn't say shit as Hap tossed her on the bed, she didn't even look at him. She didn't have shit to say to anyone at that current moment. She wasn't sure if she wanted to congratulate Koz, or beat the shit out of Maria. Why the fuck would she give him that paper in front of people, that's some shit that needs to be discussed in private. T shook her head, it wasn't her place to give a fuck anymore and her pager beeping was proof of that. She pulled it off her purse and looked at the number before opening her purse for her cell. She turned away from Hap as she called the number, gave her name and was put on hold. She heard her bosses voice on the line a few moments later. After telling him to text the address and that she would be there as soon as she could she stood up.

Happy was staring at her, watching her in a way that always made her nervous. She turned around and grabbed her shades off the bed. Happy blocked the door as she made a move towards it.

"I promise to leave the bitch alone. Now move out of my way, I need to shower, change and get to a scene." T said in a dull tone. She was hung over, exhausted and really just wanted to enjoy what was supposed to be her day off. Now she was loaded with more questions and less answers than she started out with.

Happy moved out of the way, as T walked out of the door she heard Happy's raspy voice say "I got some stuff to do for Glen, don't know when I will be back."

T looked over her shoulder, back at him. "Have fun." She said in the same monotone and walked off.

Outside, Mac was still standing by her car but Maria and Koz were no where to be seen. T couldn't help but feel like the reason that one piece of paper pissed her off the most was that everyone had what she wanted, but she knew that she couldn't or maybe wouldn't take it even if the opportunity arose.

Mac smiled at her as she approached and while she knew his smile was meant to make her feel better, it made her feel worse. T was as much a part of the club as any patched in member and even though pulling away felt like the right thing to do, she felt… empty. She lit up a smoke as she leaned into her car, sure she had shit to do and not a lot of time to do it but Mac stuck around because he had something to say. T knew him well enough to know that much, besides maybe he would help her answer some of the questions floating around in her head.

"They had some shit to discuss, sorry about having Hap drag you off like that. I just know how you are with shit like that and until you decide which what side your on, I figured it was best to remove you from the situation."

T nodded, Mac had saved her from doing a lot of impulsive shit and had been doing so since she first came to Tacoma. She owed the man a lot more than she would ever be able to repay. She hit the unlock button on her keys and opened the door. She felt Mac's hand on her shoulder after she threw her purse on the passenger seat.

"I know that your feeling a whole lot of things. Seems like everyone in the whole damn world is getting what you would…. what you do kill for. Your time will come baby girl. With or without this club and Hap. I know you love the club, the guys and Happy and I hope you stick around, but with your daddy getting older and now with this new job. Maybe you will realize that you have always been and always will be bigger than some bikers wife." Mac said before removing his hand from her shoulder.

T climbed in the car and reversed out. She waved back to Mac and pulled out of the lot. The heaviness of the past twenty four hours weighing heavily down upon her, and Mac's words making her feel the loss of the club more than ever. Being a biker's wife is what she wants, isn't it? Or maybe as she reached out into a real, normal world that was changing. Maybe it was time to realize, to really see that there is so much more to life, to the world and to her than being a part of the club. Maybe it was time to change her dreams. But as the emptiness set in, T knew she was up for a long road. Nothing felt right, nothing kept her sane and she couldn't even begin to figure out what made her happy.

"Damn it" She mumbled and hit the steering wheel. So much for getting some of her wandering questions answered.

-LK-

Mac waited by the door for Happy to emerge from the clubhouse. Jonny had already told him that Hap was going on a run and had hinted that maybe the pair should have a chat before he left. Mac had just lit a cigarette when Happy came out of the door.

"Jonny send you to talk to me?" Hap said by way of greeting.

"Would of did it even if he didn't ask me too." He replied

Hap nodded and the pair started walking towards the bikes.

"T and Koz got into it this morning, but I know you saw it. Koz is a little pissed at her going legit but mostly he's pissed at the game you two keep playing with each other. I know it isn't a game, but you know how hard it is to explain shit to Kozik. You both got a lot on your plates. You got a bunch of pressure on you and though T wont say it she doesn't like adding more pressure to your life. She knows she will never be number one and she doesn't expect to, even though she deserves to be. Shes been a part of club life for a lot longer than we all thought and to be honest I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. That girl is a lot like you Happy. She takes on everything and walks around with the world on her shoulders like its nothing. It breaks her though, it breaks you too. You guys can either be the saving grace or the death of each other. A lot happened this summer. She finally saw her daddy and she knows he isn't going to last a lot longer and that's pressure on her life. That whole farm will be her's once hes gone. She wont let someone else run it, she wont sell it. Eventually she's going to have to move down there and take care of it. I think that she doesn't want to make you feel like you have to go with her, she wont want you to have to choose between the club and her. She wont let you choose. I think she's pushing you away on purpose, pushing all of us away. I'm going to be honest with you, just like I was with Jonny and T herself. She's better than just being a biker wife, she always has been and always will be. I don't want to lose her anymore than the rest of you, but if the time comes we might have to let her go. If we can handle that, and the truth with that is I don't think we can. Shes a huge part of this club, not just our charter but the club as a whole and her loss will be felt but every charter. We need to figure this shit out, soon. Before she gets so far gone that we cant reel her back in. She's already starting to lose it."

Happy didn't really know what to say about Mac's speech, he knew that it was the truth. Hap could already feel the loss of T, he could feel her pulling away. It left a void in him that he didn't think it was possible to feel. An unexplainable emptiness tied in with emotions. Trying to figure that shit out was never something that Hap really learned how to do, something he pushed off and never delt with. But he knew it was about time to grow some balls and face the fact that T made him feel something, lots of fucking somethings. That pissed him off and made him grateful all at the same time. Shit, he couldn't really remember the last time he actually felt anything. He knew how it should feel, how it would feel, but this time he could actually feel it. Like the emotions were real, something he could touch, even though you cant.

Happy just nodded. Mac gave him a brother hug before telling him, "Have a good run, be safe. We can come up with some type of plan when you come back."

Happy climbed on his bike, started it up and drove off. Now he really wanted to hurt someone, but now at least he had something to think about on the ride.

-LK-

T stood on the sidelines, while her team was taking pictures of the crime scene. It was always the same thing, since she had started. She was the boss, the one with the control, the eerily creepy one, who had a sixth sense for their type of work. She always just seemed to know shit and while no one said anything to her face, T knew that they all talked about it. T stared down at the dead and even though she knew she shouldn't, she wondered what the person who had killed them had felt at the moment they ended that life. She knew though, no matter the reasons behinds the persons reasons for killing how it felt when they ended that life. She had been there, done that a lot more times than she cared to admit to her fellow co workers or a lot of other people in the world. T was a killer, she could write a book on it if she wanted to. This crime scene was mild compared to some of the others she had been too. No dead kids, no raped and beaten to death woman, just a couple of dead guys in what at first glace looked like a drive by. T, knew better though. It was a set up, even though there were no cuts, it looked like something the 9ners would set up. Not that T would say that to Lonnie though.

T shook her head free from the thoughts, and walked around taking more pictures. She was in the middle of talking to the dumb ass police officer, who was first on the scene when her phone rang.

T looked down at the caller ID, and when she saw the Carolina number she knew that nothing good was going to come from the phone call. A billon thoughts raced through her head, but the only thought that stuck was 'daddy'. She sent a silent prayer up to a God, she had long ago quit believing in, begging that he let everything be ok.

"West" she answered.

"Ms. Taylor West?"

"This is she"

"This is Carolina General Hospital calling, I'm sorry to say but your father had a heart attack early this morning. He's stable, but we're not too sure how long he's going to stay that way."

"I'll be there as soon as I can" She said before hanging up.

T dropped the phone, before screaming

"GOD DAMN IT!"

T knew then that, even though a lot had already changed. More shit was about to go down. T walked away from the scene, Marcy and Lonnie following close. T could feel the tears building behind her eyes. She didn't want to cry yet, she didn't want to cry at all. In fact the only thing T wanted was to feel that killer numbness. Her father is laying in a hospital bed, she was losing the club, she hated her life and she was just plain tired of everything. Now she had to call the airport and she knew the person she wanted to take her.

After telling the girls what happened, T called her boss. She had to meet with him and let him know she needed to take a leave. She didn't like the meeting, she didn't like that all she could say was 'I don't know' because T always had a plan. Now she was floating around with only one destination in mind, daddy. She climbed in her car, lit up a smoke and headed towards home to pack. Only, one more stop before the air port and Carolina. Jonny's….

-LK-

Jonny and Mac felt that they came up with a pretty good "get T back" plan. So when Jonny heard the tires squeal into the parking lot, he was a little shocked. He waited in the office as T walked up the drive towards his office. Jonny couldn't place a finger on it, but something was wrong. Not just little off as it always seemed to be with T lately, nope this time whatever it is, is major. T had a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, was dressed in clothes that she used to wear, not that office/CSI crap she had been wearing, and she had her helmet in her hand. Jonny cocked his head to the side, waiting for her to say something. The last thing he was expeting was for her to flip her shades up. Her eyes were swollen and red, there were tears building behind them.

"whats wrong?" Jonny questioned as he stood up and walked towards her.

When he got close to her, T wrapped her arms around him and started to cry. Jonny just held her and let her cry, slightly rocking her and rubbing her back. The whole situation reminded him of when her momma got really sick and was in the hospital for the last time. It all clicked then, he pulled away a little bit and put his arms on her shoulders. He leaned down a little bit and looked into her eyes.

"What happened baby?" He asked in a quiet gentle tone, afraid that anything normal might set her off.

"Daddy had a heart attack, hes in the hospital. They called, he's dying Jonny." She said in a quiet easy voice. One that Jonny only heard her use when she talked to Junior.

"What do you need me to do?" Jonny asked as he pulled her back into a hug. Holding his best friend, his cousin, his sister close and he knew even before she spoke that she was leaving. No plan in the world was going to bring her back.

Then she said the words he knew were coming, but dreaded them anyways "Drive me to the airport."

-LK-

T clung tightly to Jonny as they sped down the road. Jonny didn't ask any more questions after T asked him to drive her. He just took her hand and led her to his bike. She loved how Jonny always knew the right thing to do when she needed it. The girls were her best friends, but they had grown up with only their brothers and their clubs as family. The deaths that occurred in them were common, Jonny was truly the only person who T felt safe enough around to really cry and the only person she wanted to drive her to the airport. Jonny had been the only person to break through her walls when her momma died, the only person to truly understand. His parents were already gone, her daddy being the last one alive. T shook her head free from those thoughts, from the night that Jonny's parents passed peacefully together in their sleep like something out of the notebook, of the nights he held her while she cried or let her get wasted while momma was sick and before she died. And while it killed a part of her, she knew she was on her own this time and she needed to be.

The strum of the bike, the quickly passing scenery, and just the freedom being on the road without constraints folded her like a warm, safe and secure blanket. She knew that the road ahead was long and tough, she had been there before. Hospitals and nurses, the smell of bleach and death all mixed into one. She wasn't a stranger to death by any means, she was a bringer of it. She had killed more people than she could or even wanted to count.

She had already phoned home, Mr. Greg would be at the airport to pick her up. Knowing him, he would be driving her daddy's truck while one of the other hands drove his. HE would hug her, welcome her home, give her the keys to the truck and let her go on her own. Greg and Annie were her god parents and had been a part of her life and the farm for as long as she could remember. While going home because daddy was dying was scary and not something T had ever wanted to do, she could live with herself a little bit more knowing she spent two weeks of the summer on the farm, running things, riding horses and just spending time with daddy doing the things they used to before T turned into the wild, crazy, reckless woman she was now.

T looked at the airport as it came into view and wondered, what was going to happen now. She wondered if she would ever really see the airport and Washington as home again. Jonny pulled the bike up to the curb, people were unloading cars and taxi's. Families, business men and even soldiers were everywhere. T was happy for the busy airport, for knowing that she would be able to get lost in the crowd, but she found herself wondering how many other people were going to visit sick and dying loved ones.

T climbed off the bike and gave Jonny a hug. As she lit up a smoke, she looked at Jonny. He was watching her in that careful way of his. Afraid that anything other than something simple and gentle might set her off, a fact that T worried about herself. She looked away from him, she didn't want to over analyze things any more. She just wanted to go, she wanted to get back on the bike and act like none of this happened but she knew that wasn't an option. She wanted to rewind time, to have been a better daughter, a better women, a better something or just better. It was to late to change the past now. She took a last drag off her cig before putting it out. She looked back at Jonny, gave him a weak smile and walked away. She was almost to the doors when Jonny grabbed her arm.

"Call me when you get there, let me know if you need anything. The Florida guys can be there in 9-12 hours and I will be on the next flight if you need me." Jonny said before pulling her in for another hug. He kissed her forehead and walked away.

T picked up her pace and walked as quickly as she could to the ticket counter, she wasn't sure if it was her imagination or not, but she swore she heard the roar of Jonny's bike. She looked back towards the doors but Jonny was gone and she couldn't help it but she felt like Jonny took a part of her with him…

-LK-

T climbed off the plane, three lay-overs later. She stood on the runway of the small little airport closest to her daddy's farm. Her single duffle bag slung back over her shoulder, glasses shielding her eyes, and looked around. The last time she had been at this airport she was saying good bye to Carolina. The irony of the situation didn't escape her. That she was returning to the place she ran from five years ago. No matter how much she swore she wasn't running from all that happened, she knew a part of her was. Her dad may not have always been the best dad, but he got her out when she needed it the most. Looking around she spotted Greg's red truck, he always kept the same make and model, just got the newer version every couple years. A huge red ford F 350, the perfect truck for the farm, Greg was leaning against it his cowboy hat pulled low, his wranglers covering the top of his cowboy boots, looking the same as he always did. T walked slowly towards him, even though she kept looking around, she knew that he had spotted her, probably the minute she spotted him. When she was close enough he pulled her in for a hug. It was hard for T to keep the tears in, because this man had always been like a father to her which only reminded her of why she was back here, in the same small town she grew up in, standing on the same runway that had taken her out of this place for good so many years ago.

"Welcome home baby" Greg said, as he took her bag and flung it over the tail gate of his truck.

T followed him to the other side and spotted her daddy's blue F 150, a younger man leaning against it. No one bother with introductions, the man just handed her the keys with a look of awe and sadness. T had heard from Mrs. Annie that they had hired some new more experienced staff on when she and Ana had been there for a visit but T hadn't went out of her way to meet or get to know any of them. Mostly she poured over daddy's books, seeing how well the farm had been doing. T gripped the keys tightly in her hand, she remembered learning how to drive in a truck a lot like this, in fact that same truck was still on the farm.

"You still know how to drive one of these bad boys?" Greg asked her as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

T nodded her head, too choked up on past memories to really use her voice to answer him. She saw Greg nod in understanding, "I'm sure you remember how to get there from here. See you at the house when your ready." He said before walking towards his own truck.

T climbed into the truck, adjusted the mirror and the seat before starting it up. The country music that blared from the speakers was a comfort to her, she still listened to country back home but more as a guilty pleasure than anything else. T pulled out onto the run way, Greg following closely behind her. T rolled down the windows as she raced down the road. She looked over to the passenger side of the seat and spotted her hat and boots, when they stopped at the light, she picked up the hat and put it on her head. Greg pulled up next to her shouted out the window.

"Looks like the country girls home!" T laughed as he took off down the road.

It had always been something that they had done, race down the long road before it turned into a side by side. T hit the gas and took off after him. After all maybe Greg had a point, for the first time in a while T felt like she was where she's meant to be, she felt like she was really home.

-LK-

T took a left turn, and followed the small road to the main highway. It lead right to the hospital. She had left Greg in the dust about five miles back. T felt the nerves creeping up on her as she turned right on the highway. It felt like she was reaching the hospital too fast, she felt like she wasn't dressed to be back home, except for the hat on her head. She wasn't even really sure that she wanted to do this, no matter how much she needed too. Visiting anyone in a hospital always brought back bad memories for her, it always made her heart drop into her stomach even when something amazing had happened, like the birth of a baby. T turned into the lot and parked the car as far away from the door as possible. She lit a cigarette, a stared at the doors from the back of the parking lot. Greg had taken her clothes so she couldn't change out of the tank top, and jeans she had on. But her boots were sitting on the passenger seat, along with a flannel that she had bought when she came and left there when she did. T took off her normal boots, and put her foot into first boot. She knew at once, that these were her momma's old boots, the ones T refused to wear. They hugged her feet just right, in a way that was so perfect she had to assume they had done the same for her ma. T tucked her jeans into them and climbed out of the truck. Her wallet in one hand, the truck keys in the other and started the long walk across the parking lot. Regretting with every step that she parked so far, she felt like everyone who saw her was staring. In truth they probably were, it was a small town and everyone knew her family and they probably couldn't believe that the woman they were looking at was the same girl that got on that plane five years ago. T didn't waste time making small talk or even wondering about the people she passed, she barely saw them. All she saw were the hospital doors and the fact there behind them somewhere, her daddy was in there.

-LK-

When jonny got back to the shop, he told Mac what happened. He had already stopped by home and told Sarah, who would in turn tell the kids. The only thing left to do was tell the rest of the guys and Hap, which neither one of them wanted to do. Both men were worried about how Hap would handle that. They hoped that maybe Kozik would call Hap and break the bad news. Jonny was tired and sad and worried about T and his uncle. T had never had the life Jonny did, no matter how hard Jonny tried to give it to her, he couldn't. She was already too grown up by the time she got to come and live with him. She had already been working on the farm, driving and apparently involved in the biker life style. Jonny had lost both his parents, at the same time but they had died peacefully in their sleep of old age. T had already lost her momma when she needed her most and now she was losing her dad and even though she might not need him or like him, Jonny knew that T like knowing he was still in this world if he she ever needed him. She had a hard life, sort of. Even though her dad could give her everything she wanted, T still had to work for it, work for happiness others took for granted on a daily basis. T was wild and crazy and beautiful. She had grown into a wonderful women, with no one to really thank for it but herself.

Jonny had Mac round up the guys, first order of the meeting would be to talk about club stuff. He was saving the T thing for last. Plus he figure that maybe the guys would have some good ideas on how a "Get T Back plan, number 2"

-LK-

T walked into the hospital, talked to a nurse and was directed to her dad's room. She stood outside the door for a moment, afraid to go in but knowing there was no turning back. She turned the knob and walked in. Her father was asleep on the hospital bed, he was pale and looked like he had been through hell. The nurse said that his doctor would come by and explain his condition as soon as he got a moment. T took the seat next to his bed and picked up his hand. It strike her again, much how it did the first time she returned home, that her dad was old. T never saw him as anything but the strong, partly strict man that raised her, held her when she cried, taught her to run a farm and ride a horse. T let the tears fall as she gripped his hand. The door opened and a man, big and strong and somehow familiar walked into the room. His white coat and the chart in his hand lead her to believe it was his doctor.

T stood up and shook his hand, he introduced himself as Seth Rogers, the name making it all click into place. T kept her mouth shut about it though, she wanted to hear about her dad and his condition not re hash her past with the senior she dated her freshmen year. The guy that cheated on her with the head cheerleader under the bleachers, than begged for her forgiveness, which even to this day he still hadn't received and probably never would. She was thankful that he didn't make any comment on it but explain that the heart attack had really affected him and that he was only conscious for hours at a time and during those times he always asked for her. After he explained that they honestly felt like he was just staying alive for her, T took her seat back in the chair and picked up his hand again. She ignored Seth as he crunched down by her

"I'm really sorry Tay." He said in a quiet voice.

"Thanks." She replied still not looking at him.

She was thankful as hell when he left it as that and stood up. She was glad that he left, as the door closed behind him, she heard her dad say. "I've always hated that boy since he broke your heart. Bastard, you know that Kelly girl is trash now, five kids all different dads and works at the piggly wiggly."

T couldn't help it, she laughed really hard and than she started to cry. She layed her head down on his bed and cried. She felt her dad's hand in her hair and the shh sound he used to make when she cried about momma being sick.

"Everyone dies sometime dear, but I don't want to talk about that. You know, you look just like your momma dressed like that. I bet every stared at you when you came in here. Probably scared the shit out of them, think they saw a ghost." Daddy said with a laugh.

T just smiled at him and wiped her tears away. "How's Ana?" He asked, his voice raspy.

T got up and got him some water, she held it close for him once he started drinking T started talking.

"She's good, as beautiful as ever and all she ever talks about is our trip down here and the horses. She loved to go riding. I'm thinking about buying her a horse. They got a nice farm not too far from the house out there. It's a small one, but I know that it would best the best gift for her, since she cant come to Carolina every time she wants to ride one."

"Got the perfect baby on the farm, she came from your horse and looks just like her. Make the arrangements and have her sent up there. She don't got a name yet, I was planning on sending her up there before this there happened." He replied, a devilish twinkle in his eye.

"I can do that. I reae."

"Got the perfect baby on the farm, she came from your horse and looks just like her. Make the arrangements and have her sent up there. She don't got a name yet, I was planning on sending her up there before this there happened." He replied, a devilish twinkle in his eye.

"I can do that. I read your letter daddy and well, I wrote you one too. You want to read it? Or you want me to read it for you?" She asked

"I can still read you know, and if I cant than I will get one of the nurses here to read it or one of the mommas. They come to visit me a lot. Been waiting on you to come home."

"I know daddy, I got here as soon as I could."

"I know that baby, why don't you go on out of here to the farm, check on things for me. I think momma Beth will be by soon." When he saw the look of hesitation on her face he added "Im not going to where yet baby, go. Get some good home cooking and some sleep. Come back tomorrow. Its already late, past supper time at least."

T nodded and stood up, she kissed him on the forehead and set the letter down on the bed. When she got to the door she stopped and turned around. She could tell he was already almost back asleep, but she told him anyways "I forgive you daddy. I love you." And walked out the door.

The door closed behind her, so she didn't hear him say "I know, I love you too baby."

-LK-

**Okay so I'm already working on the next chapter, sorry its taken so long for this to come out. Ive been crazy busy and I had a bit of writers block. I almost decided to end it where it was… but I changed my mind. So I hope that you like it. The next chapter will be out in a week or so… depending on how fast I can get it out. The words are there, just not coming out right. So we shall see what happens…. **


	21. Surprise, Surprise

**AN: So here is the next chapter, check it out and let me know what you think **

She pulled off the highway, taking a small road not known to many people. It was her quiet place and the only place that seemed to give her peace lately. She parked the truck and climbed out. After the day she had just endured the empty pasture, with the crickets and stars made her smile. She spent most of the day signing papers, making phone calls and sitting by her fathers hospital bed. Her whole life, she thought of her father as unbreakable, but the recent events made her face the truth. He was frail… not something she ever thought she would admit. The tough, never lost a case lawyer was on his last leg. For T, it was a harsh reality. She had taken an extended leave from her job, a job she had just started and never really wanted. She had to leave her family behind along with the club that had been her life for the past 8 years. But looking up at the stars, she felt like her worries weren't so big. She didn't feel as bad for leaving her girls or Ana and Junior. Jonny and Sarah understood, T needed to go take care of the farm and of Daddy.

T had always been an insomniac, a worrier/ care-giver type, mixed with a whole lot of wild and crazy. Something that had suited her fine in the club life, but it wasn't working out so well in the farm world. She slept her best between three and five am, unless she drank a lot or had a good fuck. And running a farm on only a couple hours of sleep wasn't easy. But sitting on the hood of her dads truck staring at the stars, she didn't worry about the farm, daddy or the club. She didn't feel the emptiness that had become the only emotion she couldn't turn off. Looking down at her phone, a real phone not the throw away phones she had become so attached to, not the work phone she had for a little while but a real cell with a contract. It was weird to think that her life had changed so much in the past few weeks. She had went from a club killer, to a CSI worker, and now she was in the one place she never thought she would be¸ running the family farm. She let out a sigh as the numbers changed from 3:00 to 3:01. She climbed off the hood and headed for the door. She felt the tension rise back into her as she pulled off that small deserted dirt road on the far end of the farm. She sighed heavily as she pulled back through the gate and parked the truck by the barn. She looked towards the horse stable, giving herself a mental slap she headed up towards the house. She needed a few hours of sleep, her horse would be there in the morning. She climbed the stairs, undressed and was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, even though she could of swore she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep.

-LK-

Greg stood in the kitchen, his body leaned against the huge window positioned between the kitchen and dining room, one of the last things that Taylor's mom had demanded before she died. She said she wanted to sit there and watch her daughter play or ride her horse. She said she wanted to be able to see the farm, the life of it even as her own life faded. Now Greg stood there and watched over Taylor, his god daughter, the only daughter he had ever known run the farm. She was a force to be reckoned with when it came to how things should be. She looked how he always thought she should, hair pulled back with a cowboy hat on, plaid shirt and wranglers, finished off with a pair of well worn cowboy boots.

"She growed up good huh?" Greg was shaken from his thoughts by his wife at his elbow with a cup of coffee.

"Always knew she would, even mixing with those bikers. She's a leader, she belongs here. Such a shame on the circumstances though, she would of chosen this path eventually." He replied.

His Annie looked thoughtful for a moment. "I know you and her pa believe that, but I'm not so sure. All that matters is that she is here now." She gave him a smile before heading back to the kitchen.

Greg shook his head, while he didn't want to believe it he knew that his wife was probably right. Taylor was happy living the life she had, she had left this life behind, until now that is. Greg heard the roar of motorcycles and glanced towards Taylor to see if she heard, before the door burst open and Josh ran in.

"Where's Ms. Taylor?" He said in a panic, his twelve year old self looking a mix between star struck and scared shitless.

"What happened boy?" Greg asked as Josh caught a glimpse of Taylor in the window and headed for the door, not stopping to respond to his question. Curious, Greg followed him out the door and caught the end of Josh's rushed statement

"And they look like they are going to kill each other."

Taylor glance back at the open door, and Greg. She didn't looked worried at all, her face was a calm mask but Greg could see the storm brewing in her eyes. Apperantly, she wasn't expecting no guests .

"Thanks Josh, can you go check on those cows out there for me?" she asked.

Josh looked part relieved and part disappointed, at least until taylor handed over her horse to the boy. Tay walked over to Greg, he wasn't worried about what was going to happen, not really. But he was worried about how it was going to affect Taylor, she might act calm and collected but she was stressed and not getting enough sleep, a fact that worried him and Annie to no end.

"No matter what happens, keep the men out in the field, and make sure that no one looks out that damn picture window. I don't know whats going on, but im pretty damn sure it isn't going to be pretty."

Greg nodded his head, "Be careful baby girl"

"Don't worry pa-pa Greg, I always am. Thanks." She said to him before pulling a hand gun from her back. Greg watched her walk away in shock. He knew that she could shoot, shit he had been the one to teach her. But he never even realized she carried a gun.

"Whats going on hun?" Annie asked from the kitchen doorway.

"Not too sure, but whatever you hear stay the hell away from the window." He said before heading out the door.

Greg had just finished locking all the gates leading to the drive when the first shot when off, and he was pretty damn sure that it was Taylor doing the shooting. And while he knew he probably shouldn't be, he was proud. He couldn't help the smile on his face. His god-daughter was home, and wasn't nothing going to take her away or threaten it. Not even a group of bikers….

-LK-

T glanced out the picture window. Josh had said there was three groups of bikers in her drive all looking like they were going to fight. She spotted Jonny right away, the head of the middle group, it was also the largest. Jay was at the head of the group on the far right, and Seth was on the far left. And while she hadn't been around those hells angels guys in a long time, she was pretty sure that their crew was on even keel with the SOA. T walked over to the door and opened it, as she stepped on her porch she lit a cigarette before she began her walk out to the bikers. All she could hear was the yelling, and that was before she got off the porch. None of the men noticed her but she noticed something she hadn't before. The two cars behind Jonny's group, she spotted Ana's face in the window. T watched Ana reach for the door, but shook her head quickly. Ana nodded in response and T looked at the other car. Her girls were in there, they smiled but made no move to get out. They knew better or maybe they just knew her but she was sure they knew something was about to go down. T hit her cigarette and stood for a moment, hoping the guys would notice her. Of course they didn't, she was wonder what the hell they were all doing down here, no one asked her if they could visit. T held her gun up, and shot into the air. The noise quieted, and at that moment she realized just how pissed she was.

"What the fuck are ya'll doing here?" She said in a calm tone.

-LK-

Happy stood next to his bike, glaring at the leader of the Angel's. He knew that was Seth and he hated that mother fucker. He hated him for making T relive a past she wanted buried, he hated him for being a man that T loved even if it was long before he knew her and he hated him because he threatened her, and no one threatened T. He whipped out his gun when he heard the shot, looking around for where it came from, praying it was a member of the Angels. Looking around, he wasnt prepared for what he saw.

T stood in front of the house, her gun aimed at all of them. She was dressed in what Hap could only call "country clothes", but what shocked Hap the most was the words coming out of her mouth, paired with an accent.

"What the fuck are ya'll doing here?" She said and Hap knew at that moment, that they should of called and asked first. Everyone knew T hated surprises…..

-LK-

"If someone don't answer me I'm gonna shoot first ask question to the next alive person in the group. Jonny, lets start with you." T said, her anger becoming evident, it didn't help that everyone started talking at once.

"We wanted to come down and help, see ya, we missed ya." Jonny replied, he ignored the snickers behind him. He couldn't help it, something about being where he grew up brought out his accent, shit even when he talked about home his accent came out.

"I see and it just slipped your mind to call and mention it? Like I don't got enough shit going on? I got two different SOA charters on my lawn along with a group of Angels. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my lunch." She replied before turning to Jay.

"And you… Where the hell did you come from?"

"Well Jonny had called and told Zeke he wanted some guys up here to make sure you were ok, Zeke said something about some Angels bugging you. So we came to check it out…." Jay trailed off.

T turned to Seth. "Heard about your daddy and heard you was back in town. The boys and I wanted to make sure everything was alright and that you were good, besides we all miss you. Some of these guys haven't seen you in over five years. Some of them didn't even believe you were still alive."

T shook her head and lit another smoke.

"number one, Jonny I fucking hate surprises so I don't even know what the fuck you were thinking. In fact all you fuckers know I hate surprises so I should shoot your asses on principal. Number two, Jay we got some things to discuss. Seth we got some shit to talk about too. Number three, I'm a big fucking girl I can handle myself. Nobody is fucking with me or fucking me. Number four, I am alive and fine. Number five, No shooting in my god damn town, no fights, no nothing. Number six all you fuckers get off my fucking lawn. I got work to do. Seth give me your number, I will call you and we can set up a time to talk. Jay, there is a motel down in town. That goes for you fuckers too Jonny. My girls can stay here, even though I wanna whoop all your asses. Now get!" T said in a forceful tone before walking up to Seth and getting his number.

She walked through the crowd of bikers, towards the car. All of the men were staring at her, something T was way to used to. She barely noticed the faces in the crowd, but the men wore looks of shock and disbelief. No one thought that their arrival would piss her off as much as it did. Ana already had the door open and was running towards her. T gave her a big hug, and held her close as she heard the bikes start up. She nodded at some of the Angels she hadn't seen in awhile as they took off, followed by the Florida sons. Jonny and his group sat on their bikes but made no move to get going. T walked to the car and took Junior out of his seat before telling Sarah where to park. She walked over to her girls. Marcy opened her door

"Come on T, don't be mad at me." Jonny yelled. T handed junior to her before turning around to face him. She raised her gun, everyone was quiet. T shot his tire, "I said get the fuck off my god damn property! Damn it!" She yelled back.

"How the fuck am I supposed to go anywhere now that you shot my god damn tire?" He yelled back.

"You ride bitch like a girl." She screamed at him.

"that's enough Taylor" She heard said in a tone that left no argument, she turned and faced Greg.

Greg tossed a set of keys to Jonny. "That's for the red pick-up, I'm sure you remember dinner is at 5, Annie is expecting ya'll. Now get out of her before she shoots your ass." Greg said as he approached Jonny. He gave Jonny a hug and smile.

T shook her head before taking junior back from Marcy and grabbing Ana's hand. T didn't look back at them at all.

"She sure is pissed." Sarah replied as she approached the men. Lonnie parked their car next to Sarah's and the pair got out. Both girls shook their heads but approached the men, not quite sure where T had went.

"Well no shit. Lot going on round here and you showing up outta no where isn't exactly what the girl needed." Greg said giving Jonny a look that made him bow his head.

"She's my baby sis Mr. Greg, I couldn't just leave her to do it all on her own." He replied.

Greg shook his head, before telling Jonny to grab his bike. The group watched as the two men walked to a brand new red pick-up. A ramp going from the ground up to the bed, and waited for Jonny's word on what to do. Mrs. Annie came out of the house and motioned for the girls.

"Come on, let me show you where you girls are sleeping. She will calm down soon enough, she took the kids out on the horses." The three women followed her inside, because after all there wasn't anything else they could do.

-LK-

Jonny and greg were quiet as they walked away from the group. "wanna tell me the real reason you came down here with a group of biker men?" Greg asked when they were far enough away.

Jonny looked down at the ground, he wasn't sure why but Mr. Greg had always made him feel every bit the teenager he was when his parents left their part of the farm to T's dad and moved them to Washington.

"I cant loose her, I need her." Jonny replied as they reached the truck. He pushed his bike up the ramp. "My wife needs her, my kids need her and my club needs her. I cant just let her stay out here on this farm."

"Don't you think that's T's choice to make?" Greg asked.

"I cant live with her deciding to stay here unless I know I did everything in my power to get her to come home." Jonny replied

"Did you ever think that maybe she is home?"

"This isn't home, she ran away from this place. Tacoma is home." Jonny replied

"She didn't run, she was sent. Her daddy wanted to do right by her, give her the option. You know she wont sell and I'm getting old too. I cant take care of the farm for much longer. This is home to her and its home to you, too. But shes a grown woman, she can decided for herself what she wants to do. Plenty of capable hands could run this place, but its in her blood, this place was built from your familys blood and if she wants to run it, shes got every right too. And nobody gots a say in it but her and you know she aint leaving until her daddy dies." Greg replied, before shaking his head and walking away.

Not even giving Jonny a chance to reply, but Jonny knew that no reply would be the right one. He did it on selfish reasons, they all did. No one even gave thought to the fact that T might actually wanna stay. They all just knew if they called T would tell them not to come and in their plan, not coming wasn't an option. Jonny started the truck and pulled up beside the Mac,

"follow me, for now we need to let T calm down. She will be ready to talk after dinner." Jonny said as he drove the truck to the end of the road and waited for his guys to follow.

Looking next to him, he spotted the hat and put it on his head. As he looked in the rearview mirror and saw his reflection he understood what Greg was saying and knew, that he fucked up.

-LK-

T had barely paused at the kitchen door as she asked Mrs. Annie to show the girls where they could sleep. She was pissed but she was losing some of that anger with junior in her arms and Ana's hand in hers. She could never stay angry when she had they kids with her. They were like a balm to her shattered soul and she knew that Ana would take every chance she got to ride the horses.

Being out on the horses with Junior and Ana, calmed her some. She was still pissed though something she didn't think would pass anytime soon. She had been back in town for three weeks and it was already swarming with bikers. Something that wasn't good for her or the farm. She couldn't be mad at the fact that they were in town though, because it was her fault they were there. She just didn't want to deal with them on top of everything else. There was more than enough room on the farm for the SOA guys and Seth and his crew didn't live too far so the drive was nothing, in fact she was sure that they drove down the highway that went by the farm frequently. Sighing T shook her head and pulled Junior close, she couldn't help but smile down on him as he squealed and laughed having never been on a horse before. T had been riding them since she was his age, she knew she had talent and grace on a horse, much like she did when she rode on the back of a bike.

"Ana, its almost dinner time lets head back!" T hollered out to Ana who had riding ahead of them.

She wanted until Ana was back next to her to start talking again.

"So, I got a surprise for you. Guess it's a good thing I didn't send it yet since you guys are here now and all." T told her.

Ana looked down, "I'm sorry. They made me promise not to tell you. I didn't even know we were coming until we were in the car on the way here."

T laughed at that "I'm not mad at you baby, its not your place to be in the middle of all this. Trust me sometimes there are situations in life that your better off not knowing."

Ana nodded before taking off on her horse again, heading towards the house. She turned back and hollered out "Come on I'm hungry!"

T laughed again and picked up the pace a little. She wasn't in a rush and she didn't want to bounce Junior around too much. As she came to the back of the house, she spotted Sarah standing on the deck while one of the hands was leading Ana's horse to the barn.

"Hey Andrew" She hollered to one of the people she had come to rely and respect the most on the farm aside from Greg, he was also the guy who had met her at the airport when she got in.

He turned around, a looked at her.

"Bring that horse back over here. Ana rides, she takes care." She watched the surprise cross his face for a moment before leading the horse back over.

Sarah had started down the stairs and T looked at her before handing Junior to Andrew and dismounting. T took Junior back and handed his to Sarah. "He had a good time, where did Ana go?" T asked, leaving no room for talk about their "surprise." There would be plenty of time for that later.

"She headed in to get washed up for dinner. Its almost ready." Sarah replied, slight concern showing on her face.

T ignored her look and turned around. "Don't go no where with them horses. I will be right back." She said to Andrew before hitting the porch steps at a fast walk.

Once in the house, T walked to the stairs and hollered for Ana. Ana came down the stairs as Jonny and the rest of the guys walked in. T ignored them and looked at Ana, "You know when I was your age, I had already been riding for a lot of years but there are rules with this type of thing. Your ride, you take care. And don't even give me that you don't know how or your hungry crap. Because you do know how and I'm hungry too but so is that guy you just passed your horse on too."

Ana nodded once and headed for the back door, T turned and followed ignoring the foot steps behind her. She heard Jonny direct the guys to the kitchen and followed T out the door.

"You going to follow me, you better hope you still remember how to help out." T said not even bothering to look at Jonny as she took her horse from Andrew and told him to go on and eat and to ignore the biker guys, they were most defiantly not wanted guests.

"Its not something you ever forget T, its lives in our blood." Jonny replied.

T and jonny walked quietly into the stable. T caught Ana look at her dad pleadingly. She heard Jonny laugh and say "No way baby girl, like your auntie said if your going to ride its your responsibility to take care of the horse when your done. No matter what."

T knew that Ana was going to be pissed off but on a farm everyone pitched in. It was a lot of work running a farm and T believed fully that just because she owned it didn't mean that she didn't have to get her hands dirty just like everyone else. T knew that Jonny was waiting for Ana to finish before he started to talk but T was surprised that Jonny went to one of the hands and told him that he could go eat. The guy looked questionly at T, she nodded .

Ana finished shortly after that leaving T and Jonny alone in the barn. "I know your pissed off T, but just like this farm runs in our blood, so does the club. The club is important and a way of life to me and it used to mean the same to you. I cant just let you walk away from it, at least not without knowing that I did everything in my power to get you to come back. I need you T, we are too damn close for me to just let it all go. You're my best friend and you keep me sane and you're a huge part of the kids life. On a club level, you're the best damn killer we ever had, your smart and you keep a lot of the guys out of trouble. Your in charge of making sure all the women are safe and understand their role in the club. Its lonely without you T, you mean to damn much and the past couple weeks with you gone legit and on the road trip and shit, I've felt you pull away. It leaves a void in a lot of us, shit all of us. What about you and Hap? Yeah your still mad as hell and close to hating that mother fucker but you guys have always been like that. There really is a fine line between love and hate , you and Hap live on that line and for reasons no one can understand you like it that way. Both of you like it like that, the fighting and fucking and drama and all of it, that's how you guys are. Trust me when I say you seem stronger together than apart." Jonny disappeared behind a stall to finish cleaning it.

T put her head on her horse, trying to process everything that Jonny had just dumped on her. She was already on over load, she was over tired and stressed to the max. Now she had three different groups of bikers in her town, wanting to prove to her why they were the best option. She had lots of options and she knew it. She just wasn't ready to deal with, hence avoid everyone because right now the only thing that mattered is the farm and Daddy. The rest of it would still be there for quite awhile. Maybe she would lose out on Happy, maybe she would fall behind and miss some stuff but it wouldn't be anything she couldn't stand not witnessing. She wouldn't be able to live with herself though if she left her daddy in his time of need.

T finished caring for her horse, she could hear Jonny humming to sn old country tuner they had heard a million times growing up. She let out a sigh as she started placing everything back into the tack room. Tonight she would have dinner, drink some wine on the porch and visit her daddy. She would deal with all the biker drama the next day, after she got some sleep.

-LK-

Jonny wasn't surprised that T left him in the barn by himself finishing up the last two stalls. He had said some of what he had set out to say, the rest would come in time. He did see the error in his ways and he knew that he had acted foolishly and with an agenda of his own. Not once ever stopping to think of what T was really going through and he felt that maybe that was part of the reason he wasn't pushing her and part of the reason he was cleaning up horse shit. He found an old radio in the back and turned it on, of course it was playing country music. The new more pop kind, Rascal Flatts was singing an old but good song. Jonny hummed along and when they got to the course he sang words he thought he had long ago forgot.

"I Wake up and tear drops that fall down like rain, I put on that old song we danced to and then I head off to my job I guess not much has changed. Punch the clock head, for home, check the phone just in case. Go to bed, dream of you, that's what I'm doing these days."

Jonny remember that it had been one of T's favorite songs when she had came to live with him and she played it a million times. Country music was always her way of letting shit out, the song usually reflected her mood and her realized now that if he would have been paying attention, he would of realized that T really did leave someone she cared about behind in Carolina.

-LK-

Seth couldn't help it, seeing Tay dressed up in all her old country clothes gave him a serious hard on. She had her accent back too and he knew that as long as she was back in Carolina he wouldn't be able to move on. Not that he had been trying in the month that had passed since he saw her last. Shit, all he had been doing was thinking about her. It was a shame of the circumstances that brought her back but he was happy none the less. He knew that him and his boys would be the last on the list to talk to or be "dealt" with by her but he didn't care. With T, a lot of the time being last was way better than being first. The way he saw it, Jonny and his boys would be the worst off. Jonny still looked the same, even though it had been a whole lot of years since he had seen him. Seth and Jonny had never been "friends" but Seth had meet the guy when the Sons and the Angels made the truce, which also caused the Sons to back down from starting a Charter in Carolina. Seth was just a newly patched member than, freshly eighteen and all he could really remember was being jealous of the young kid that was already a VP, and he didn't even have any blood ties to the club or any club. In fact Seth had heard that Jonny had been a farm boy with a bad streak that moved to Washington when his family sold the farm. Seth wouldn't of guessed in a million years that Tay was his cousin but seeing the pair together he saw the resemblance. It was in the eyes, in the way they carried themselves and the way they both covered their past but it came out when they were home. Jonny shook his head and picked up the beer. Being lost in thought wasn't where he needed to be right now, at least not unless he was coming up with a plan of how to get T back and to make sure that she stayed in Carolina. He was happy that Jonny and his boys felt that he was a big enough risk to have some of the Florida guys ride in to town to make sure that T was still with the Sons. That fact made Seth laugh, Tay was pretty much one of the only people Seth knew that couldn't or wouldn't be swayed, as a killer and now 'T' he was pretty sure that it would be like trying to make the impossible happen. She had always been stubborn but being a killer had made her harder, less afraid, if she even felt fear anymore, than she had been as that young girl Seth had loved five years ago. She was still as beautiful as she had always been, in fact Seth was pretty sure that no one would ever be more beautiful than her at least not until he had a daughter.

Seth looked over as he heard a chair scrape and realized that he had been spacing again. Ant was taking a seat on the chair across from him.

"Tay is still as beautiful as the day we saw her at that charity event. She's got that killer look in her eyes now. That's different, she would at least felt a little freaked by three groups of bikers on her lawn back in the day. Today she looked like she would of shot all of us and not even thought twice."

Seth took a swig of his beer.

"She would of, shes a killer now. The Sons little killer, you know the one we heard all those stories about."

Seth couldn't even laugh at the shock on Ants face because he was pretty sure that his had looked the same when he first found out that Tay was the little killer.

"No fucking way. How long have you known and not said anything?" Ant asked once he got over the shock of it.

"A couple years, didn't believe it myself. I saw it though, when she was here. Its plain as day once you know what your looking for. Tay was always a tough one, one that I could never really break, shit I bent the hell out of the girl and she gave it back but she never broke. From what I hear, the girl hardly ever bends now."

Ant nodded in response and the pair sat quietly thinking and drinking their beers for a moment. Seth was almost back into space out mode when Ant asked

"So, what do we do?"

Seth thought for a moment before replying, "We let her come to us, let those other fuckers wear her down a bit. She will be pretty close to making a choice by the time she gets around to us."

-LK-

T didn't even sit at the table with everyone else. She ate a little bit in the kitchen, took a couple shots of her dad's hidden Jim Bean before grabbing her smokes off the counter along with a glass and a whole bottle of wine. She took up her spot on the porch, the fire was already going something that Greg had been making sure was done before dinner just so she could sit there and unwind. Something that she remember her momma doing before she got sick, even sometimes after she got sick.

T remember telling her momma it was cold out and to come in, but her momma would just pat the spot next to her and say "I'm already dying baby, might as well enjoy the time I got left." T remember the first time her momma said that she ran away crying. She felt bad but she didn't want to face the fact that her momma was dying. She got used to it though and it became something that they ended up doing every night. The first time T had ever smoked pot was with her momma, the cancer pain was too much and the doctor had given her some medical pot. She remembered being thirteen smoking pot and drinking wine in front of the fire with her momma. Sure she was young but it didn't matter, she wanted to experience some first with her momma. It was a good thing they got to spend that summer doing it, since she died that winter.

T took a sip of her wine, she could hear everyone finishing up dinner. She figured the girls would help Annie clean up, something T usually came in to do. Tonight though, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She knew that the guys would be headed out for a smoke soon though, so she prepared for her peaceful time to be interrupted. T sent a silent prayer up to her momma, begging that she send her a sign on how the hell to get through all this, a sign to show her the right choice to make.

T had came through the back and into the kitchen, not even bothering to glance in the dinning room. She really wished that she had when she saw that it wasn't just the Tacoma guys, but the Florida guys too. She glanced at them all, then went on drinking her wine and smoking. Greg had came and took a seat next to her as he lit his own smoke. T knew that he was up to something, she quickly found out when she smelled the weed. She wanted to curse at him, but she knew it would get her nowhere and she respected him too damn much to actually curse at him, around him was one thing but actually at him, well it would never happen.

She took the offered joint and hit it a few times before passing it back. She was glad for the effects when they started to kick in, mixed with the wine because it calmed her enough to have at least conversation with the guys. She hugged the Florida guys, because in all honesty its wasn't them who needed to know better. Seth knew she had hated surprises five years ago, she figured it was common sense that he would remember but it wasn't like he had her number and he sure as hell couldn't just look her up. Jonny and the Tacoma boys was a different story, they knew and they all had her number, shit she still had her burner phone. They were smart though because if they had asked, T would of NEVER allowed them to come down. When she was honest with herself, she didn't want them there because it made her choice so much real, it made the fact that she wanted to stay feel wrong, kinda like how being legit made her feel. But the farm brought her peace she didn't have working with the girls and doing all the CSI shit. The farm also made her sad because it reminded her of why she was here and of why she left. It was hard being there, it reminded her of the days when they were a "happy" family. Those days were etched in everything, the house and the farm. It was killer for her to be there but it also made her happy. She was so fucked up in the head and she knew it, she just didn't care. She was who she had become, she was happy with that.

Jay took the seat on T's left, Greg made no move to leave something she was grateful for, but he did pass the joint back to her. T felt like her body was on fire with Jay sitting next to her. The memory of their fight when she was in Florida was still fresh in her mind and on her body. Even though the bruises had long ago faded away, there was no doubt in her mind that Jay might be the best lay that T had ever passed on. Bad thoughts of him crossed her mind as she took a long deep hit off the joint, she took a larger swig of her wine. She knew that now wasn't the time to think about wanting Jay, shit now wasn't the time to think about wanting anyone, besides Jay wouldn't want her back. She had already been with Hap and D. She was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn't even hear Jay whisper

"Do you feel it? Remember it? I dream of it all the damn time."

T looked around before looking at him, everyone was in their own conversations except for her, Jay and Greg. T took the joint that Greg was offering, as she did so she nodded her head, took a hit and replied "All the damn time."

The pair said nothing else but sat there, thighs touching and thinking of a fight that could of lead to an amazing fuck. T was about 97 percent sure that Jay was the type to really please a girl. Hap could get her off, but he was hardly ever gentle. Not that T wanted gentle, but for some reason she had a feeling that Jay would be a mix of wild, crazy, gentle and rough that she would enjoy.

-LK-

Happy was doing his damn best to not walk over there and shove Jay out of the seat next to T, he figured that she would be less pissed off at the Florida guys because they didn't know her as well. Yeah they might know she doesn't like surprises but T knew how the club worked and she knew that the Florida guys just did what they were asked. They didn't have a goal, not like the Tacoma guys. Happy knew that shit with him a T was almost too far gone to be saved, he had his work cut out for him. He knew that T wouldn't let him stay nomad to just be with her, he knew that she wanted him to take the spot in Charming so he could be closer to him momma. It was hard for him to realize that, maybe he really had lost her. The worst part was knowing that it wasn't really either one of their faults, it was all at the hand of a God that Hap was pretty damn sure hated them. Both of their parents were sick, her dad was worse off but still, it seemed like everything that could possibly be done to keep them apart was being done. It sucked that they had no power over what was happening, at least not any power that they could live with. As far as Hap was concerned he loved three things the club, his momma, and T.

Hap was pissed when Koz called him a few hours after he left to tell him the news. T was in Carolina and if he didn't love the club as much as he did he would of turned his bike around and drove straight there, but he had a mission to complete and the guys said that they were coming up with a plan to fix it. So far it was looking like the plan was going to be a fail. Happy figured that he had this last chance to be with T, even if it wouldn't end up being forever like he wanted, but instead just for a moment. And that's what gave him the courage to go over to her.

-LK-

**So review and let me know what you think. Yes I do realize that some of you are going to hate the way this chapter is going to end, but hey I have a plan and well as it always does with writing, shit might change. **


	22. Just A Kiss

**AN: so I realize that its been awhile since I updated… sorry for that. This chapter has been rewritten a few times because I didn't like the way it turned out. I kept some parts, because I had turned it really fucking mushy. Totally no Happy at all… It was frustrating to say the least. On another note, I've had this SOA story floating around in my Word Docs for awhile… so I thought I would upload it. Its called love, loss and life. Check it out and let me know what you think. It is completely the opposite from this one. Of course this is my main priority and I have a feeling that it may be coming to a close. Soon, but you never know with T because nothing is ever easy with her. Also please review so I know you guys are still reading this. **

**As for the people reading my Becoming a Killer story…. Its on hold. Mostly because my life is hectic and because I really want to finish this one because writing the two together is causing me to change the plot and the story to take on a whole new plot. Also because I have two jobs, a two and a half year old and a boyfriend… My life is hectic to say the least. **

**Just a kiss by lady antebellum is the song for this chapter…. Mostly because its my new favorite : )**

T made no comment to the man standing in front of her, the man who currently still had some type of hold over her. She knew though as she watched him, that she held the same control over him. She loved him enough to let him go, to love him from afar because sometimes loving someone was about giving them what the needed, even if it wasn't you. Happy needed a stable charter, with his mother getting weaker and growing older he needed to be closer to her. He needed Charming, sure it was drama filled and going slowly to hell but there was where he needed to be and T felt that it was best to just let him go. It may become a decision, she would regret at times. Much like how living in Tacoma for so long, or never coming home was something she regretted at certain moments. Maybe regret was the wrong word, she didn't really regret anything as it made her who she was currently. Even though she had no clue as to she was. Figuring it out would come with time but it wasn't of up most importance currently. No, regret wasn't the word. She wasn't sure there is a word to describe what she felt about some of the choices she had made all she knew was that at certain times, she wished she could go back in time and change them. If only she had known then what she knew now, but that was part of growing up and becoming your own person. Learning to live with the choices we make. She looked up him, the man she had been in love and hate with for almost as long as she had known him. She studied his face, a face she would miss terribly in the months to come but that wasn't to worry about now. No she wanted to have one last night with him, one last fight and one last fuck because she knew as she watched him that this one last chance was all they had. There wouldn't be room for any more chances or mistakes between the two of them. No this was the last one, and she wanted to make it last for an eternity.

"Wanna go for a ride?" she asked.

-LK-

No one was really shocked at the words that spilled from her mouth. Sure T had always been one to hold a grudge, but Mac took notice of the pensive look upon her face as she stared at Happy. Mac could almost read the thoughts rotating through her mind. He knew, as he told everyone else that this one last chance to bring her back into the fold, belonged to Happy. No, that wasn't true either the last chance at bringing her into the fold was in T's hands and hers alone. Them coming was just mostly to be a reminder of home, of the people who loved and missed her. She would decide for herself as she always had. Mac had done enough watching to know that when T was around, no one was as in charge as they thought. No, T let them believe they were in charge but she was always three steps ahead. T deserved to have her own club, shit she deserved to be someone of the upmost power. She was smarter than most of the men in the club, she was crazier than the nomads or the SAA's, she was more analytical than the presidents and the enemies. T was a force to be reckoned with, but as Mac had watched her earlier and all through the time that she had been in his presence again, he knew that she was just as comfortable in this world as in theirs. She just held more a calm air, than a deadly one. She didn't seem any less peaceful though. In fact she seemed at peace, more calm than Mac had seen her be in a while. The deadly radiance she always had around her was dimmed, it was a light glow instead of the normal blinding light. It still followed her, she still gave off a don't cross me air. But she was more approachable, something he figured had to do with the fact that she was the boss and she needed to let her people know it was okay to talk to her. As Mac watched her walk out with Happy, he knew that this was the end to a new and unexpected beginning as the whole summer had been. No, as it had been since she stepped foot in Florida, had been a new start to something with an ending that wasn't yet written.

Mac looked around the porch, his eyes resting on Jay. Mac knew that look, it was a look of awe and love and million other things and the same look almost every man got on his face when looking at T. In that moment, a lot clicked for Mac and he realized than that if T and Jay would have been something instead of T and D a lot of shit would have been different. They still would of lost T, but it would have been to a different charter not a different life. It didn't matter now though, what was done was done and nothing but a time machine would change it. Something that was impossible and if Mac knew T at all, he knew that she wouldn't want to change things. She was the type of person who learned from her experiences. She took every mistake, every change, disappointment, happy moment and life altering event and owned up to it. It was just the way she was. She learned and lived for the change and the routine. She was wild, crazy and beautiful in every positive and negative way those three words could be used.

-LK-

Happy didn't say anything as he climbed into the truck beside T. HE sat quietly, smoking as she drove down the road. She turned left towards the out skirts of the farm instead of right towards town and where they came from. HE kept quiet as she drove along the bumpy road and when they started down a deserted back over grown road, he couldn't help but notice it was a place to bury bodies. He watched as she got out of the car and hopped on the tailgate in the same graceful way she did everything. As he climbed out and walked around, he kept his eyes on her. The fear that they may never get another moment like this, with them together regaurdless of how frail it was, made his head want to explode. The future in his drawing book seemed almost like a distant memory or like it had when he dreamt it. Something that was impossible for the reasons he always knew and never really wanted to admit, because after all hes a man.

He climbed up on the gate, his messed up knee slightly acting up only to remind him how old he really was. Something he never wanted to admit, deffiently not when he was with T. Their twelve year age gap, made him closer to 40 than the thirty she was approaching had always made him feel one of two things; extremely proud that he could keep up with her or worried about who would be with her when he was gone. Evenm though he knew this was the end of them, he couldn't push aside that the fact that anyone else with T would always piss him off. It didn't matter if it wouldn't constantly be infront of him because it would always be in the back of his mind and no one would ever amount to her, replace or matter as much as she did.

"ive never brought anyone here, not even Jonny. I didn't want to give up the only place that I found peace in. I thought you would appericate it as much as I do. And if I'm honest with myself, you are the only person I could ever imagine sharing it with." T said in a quiet voice.

Hap was taken a back by her statement, even though he knew that it was moments like this with too much alcohol and quiet surrounding the two that things got admitted. They shared more secrets in the dark, under a drunk haze than they ever had any other time. Her unsual comment made him do something unsual as well. He laid back slowly on the truck bed and intertwined his hand with hers. He had to admit, at least to himself that he had always cuddled with T. Something that was never ever done by him and the feeling was different. To him, it felt like the only time he could ever really protect her was in bed with his arms wrapped tightly around her. It was the only time she let her guard down enough for her to ever need protection.

-LK-

T looked down at her hand, tan from all the sun was darker than she was accustomed to but still not as a dark as him. The only thought passing through her mind was how badly it sucked to finally see the part of Happy she had always wanted to and of course it happened at the end. It made it harder for her to walk away, to let him go, and she hated how weak she felt in that moment. She knew, that in this moment if she expressed that to him he would hold her hand tighter. His silent way of telling her to not let go, to keep holding on to him but she couldn't. He deserved so much better than her, better than the life he was settling for as a nomad. He deserved happiness, family and to spend as much time with his mom as he could. No one understood the importance of time as well as she did. It wasn't something to be wasted any longer, it wasn't fair to run from her problems or hide behind a mask. Not that she would really change any of that, but here in this single moment with Happy's hand in hers she knew that she could. just knowing that to her was more important than the actual outcome of everything else. Knowing that for once in her life, she had actual options. Ones that she could live with, ones that she could choose from for herself. No one would push her on this, she couldn't help it. For once in all the time that she had been the caregiver, she was free to be selfish, to choose her own path and finally know that the mistakes were so much more worth living with than the what ifs.

It wouldn't matter what happened from here. It wouldn't matter if she never saw Happy again or if he ended up with someone else. The only thing that mattered was that she was doing what she felt was right. She was giving him the room and the freedom to be who he had always been. She pulled her hand free from his. She wasn't angry, she wasn't sad, in fact she felt nothing. She was empty knowing what would happen sooner than she had ever thought to realize. T couldn't help but wonder if she would always feel this way. If the emptiness would always be present in the absence of the man who currently held what she had left for her heart to give.

She didn't look at him when he nudged her, she couldn't. She didn't want to open up to him. She didn't want her feelings to be poured out in her expression or her words. She just wanted to go back to the farm and go to bed. She wanted to climb under her covers and never get back out… at least not until the sons were gone. She thought that letting go would be easy, that being a handful of states away would lessen his hold on her heart. She had hope, until he stood in front of her. Silently asking the one question she didn't really have an answer to and she never would. "is this really what you want?" Love is defined as any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection. T knew her affection for Happy was as strong as her heart would allow it to be. Like she had told Mac, months ago that no matter what she choose someone would end up hurt. That maybe all of them would end up hurt and so far they all had. T had hoped that waiting it out would make it easier, Koz had moved on and was having a baby. D was in Florida and happy and most importantly to T, still himself. Now she was about to pull the final block and she knew that the whole building would come tumbling down on her and in the process it would take her heart. Happy would drive off this farm, out of this town and to the other side of country with it. She had given it to him long ago and only realized it a couple months ago.

The worst part for T was facing the realization that she was once again giving up on the only dream she has kept since she first stepped foot in the Tacoma club house. She was giving up her chance at being an Old lady, giving up her chance at the tattoo just when she would actually be able to get a crow. She was giving up every single picture she saw in Hap's drawing book. She felt her anger rise, not at Happy or at life or anyone else for that matter, except for herself. She was angry at herself. She didn't have to do this, she didn't have to keep the farm, or give up Happy. In fact she could do both. She could live in Charming with him, have someone else run the farm and come down and check on it every month or so.

T slammed her hand against the bed of the truck as she rolled on her side away from Hap. _"No!" _she mentally scolded herself. She had already decided. She had made her mind up, she was going to let Happy walk away. She is going to run the family farm and take care of her dad until he passed away. She owed it to him and to her mom. She owed it to herself, she needed to be where she belonged. But the little voice in her head just wouldn't shut up. It just kept asking, _"Are you sure this is where you belong?" _

-LK-

Happy felt T pull her hand from his. He expected to feel anger, frustration or even maybe some sadness. Except he felt nothing but shock. He knew what was going to happen. He knew that she had already decided to stay or at least to give him up. He could tell, for someone who always got what he want, Happy knew that this time he had no control. Something that the killer part of him didn't like at all. HE was always in control, always had been at least in everything that didn't involve T. Happy stared at her, he could tell that she was trying her hardest to not look at him. He realized than, that she wasn't happy. She was resolved, she was just doing what she thought was best for all parties involved not including herself.

Happy looked away from her, it hit a nerve watching her fight herself. He knew that she was trying to find the strength to give it all up. To walk away, something he thought would have been easy for her having spent so much time away from him lately and because of the mistakes he kept making during their whole relationship. He had fucked up so many times but he knew that she wouldn't blame any of it on him. She would shoulder a guilt that wasn't hers to carry. Something Mac had said to him on the way down was stuck in his head.

"_she will leave you because she feels that you deserve better. She will leave you because she will feel like she is doing the right thing for you by doing so. This is 99% about her and 1% about you. You just have to know, that it wont be easy for her to walk away, to end it. No matter how she acts. Without you, she will be a shell of herself. She will be empty and lost but she will live with it. As long as she knows that you will settle back down in a charter, one that's close to your mom. You will have family, the one thing she believes you want more than anything. She is blind to the fact that your family will not be complete without you. She knows that you want to be with her, give her your crow and to have babies but she probably feels that she is your weakness and she isn't okay with you having a weakness. It defiantly will not settle well knowing that she would be your weakness. That would kill her more." _

Happy whipped his head to the side when he heard and felt the bang of what he assumed was T's fist on the truck bed. He started at her back, he could see the rise and fall of it. He couldn't decide if she was that mad or if she was crying. Throwing all caution to the wind, Hap rolled on his side and pulled her to him. He slide his hand up she shirt and rubbed her rib cage. He leaned down and kissed her neck softly before whispering " this is where I would put my crow. This is where my name, would go. I get what your doing babe. I know that you feel like your doing whats best for everyone but I promise you that we could make it work. Charming and Tacoma are not that far apart, you could still make the trip to see Ana, Junior and the girls whenever you want too. They could all come and stay at our house in Charming. I know theres a lot of drama down there. I know you don't agree with Clay, that you hate Tig and that you might kill Jax's bitch but we would be together. We could have everything that we both want. Don't decide now, don't say anything. Just let it all sink in, think about it and let me know. You have my number, you know how to get a hold of me. I can wait because even if you don't believe it you are worth it."

-LK-

T didn't say anything to Happy's speech, she didn't know what to say. She couldn't just leave her dad or the farm. It was something that meant the world to her momma. It was the only good memory of her momma she had really. The only time that she could recall them living like a normal family. All those memories happened on the farm. Of course there was plenty of bad memories as well. T shook her head, she wasn't going to do this. She had made her choice, she wouldn't leave her dad when he needed her the most. Not this time.

T climbed off the truck bed, and walked towards the cab.

"Lets go Hap, it was a bad idea to come out here." She said in a monotone.

She opened the door, only for it to be slammed closed. She didn't turn around to face him right away. She took a deep breath before turning towards him. She regretted it almost imedateily, as the minute she faced him his lips crashed down on hers. She pulled him close, kissing him harder. She wanted this, she craved this and yet she was giving it all up for the good of everyone involved. It was just one of those things… she would never know if she was doing the right thing, she would always feel like she was missing something and she might spend the rest of her life a lonely old lady who ran her families farm but she needed to do this. All of her options were laid out and she had choose her course. There was nothing left to do but enjoy this last kiss on her lips in the moon light.

Happy pulled her closer to him, his hands roaming everywhere. T couldn't help it, she pushed him away.

"No. " she replied in the firmest voice she could muster.

She knew that she had caught Hap off guard with her words, but she could also tell that he knew stopping was the last thing she wanted to do. The passion was laced in her voice, in her posture and her head was filled with thoughts of running her tounge everywhere along this body. But she wasn't going to do this. She wouldn't let the sexual attraction she had always felt for him could her judgement in the moment that she needed it the most.

"This is the end Happy. Its time to move on."

-LK-

T didn't give him a chance to do anything, she already had the door open and was inside the truck before Happy could catch her. He stood outside the truck for a moment before climbing inside. He didn't really want to get left in the middle of fucking no where, in a small ass little town and admit defeat. But he did know that they had already over stayed whatever welcome T had provided after they had all shown up unexpectedly on her door step. He was serious about what he had told her and he didn't figure that he would ever settle down with anyone else. He was sure that keeping the faith his momma always talked about would get him nowhere but after having been with T, he knew that no other woman would ever fill her shoes. No one could ever be compared to her and no one would ever satisfy all parts of him as she did.

Happy climbed out of the truck when they pulled up, he didn't say shit to T and he didn't go in the house. He walked over to the bikes. He noticed that Mac and Jonny's were still present but he didn't care. He climbed on and drove off. He had only one destination in mind, a quiet little area where he could smoke and think. He didn't care that he was on some other clubs land, in fact he hoped that someone would try him. He wanted a fight. His mind was racing as he pulled into a little park that was on a lake. He didn't even notice the bike on the other side of the lot.

-LK-

Seth hadn't been able to sleep, seeing Tay dressed the way she used to was burned into his brain. All he could think about was her. He wondered how long the Sons would be in town for, he wondered if they would convince her to go back. He wondered which one had stolen her heart. So he went for a ride. He wasn't surprised where he ended up, because the truth was that he ended up there a lot. Not even always when he was thinking about her. It might sound stupid and he would never admit but he felt like just being there made him closer to her. That he could hear the words she would say to him, the advice she give him, the blow job or sex to get his mind off of it. Tay had always been so intune to his feelings that it creeped him out and gave him satisfaction all at once.

Seth looked towards the lot at the sound of the motorcycle. He was expecting one of his guys, not the unknown biker. He knew than that he had to be the one that was with her, the one that loved her and that she loved in return. He stared at the man, he was Seths opposite in every way possible. But Seth could see some resemblance. The way the anger rolled off of him, the way the man carried himself with all confidence. Seth had a feeling that this guy, had to be the one who fought with her, made love to her and fucked her all at once. Just the way that he had years ago. He wasn't at all surprised that T still loved it that way, Seth could still remember the way a fight made her more wet. The way after a fight she would scream louder, cum faster and that she was more willing to do whatever he wanted her to. Tay had always had a dominant side, but in the bedroom, the car, the ground at this very park she wanted to see his dominance. She wanted to know that Seth could own her at moment. That was important to her, that turned her on and Seth was that was what had kept her around for as long as she had been. Threats had never meant much to her, after all why should they when her cousin was the president of one of the most crazy MC clubs?

Seth watched the guy as he approached and realized that he didn't even notice him yet. Seth lit another cigarette and stared at the biker, who took tow more steps before noticing him.

"She tell you about this place?" Seth asked

It took him a moment to answer. "Nope, never mentioned you either until after her trip down her his summer." He replied.

Seth nodded once before replying "Doesn't surprise me. She has always been… private."

The other man didn't make a reply, instead choosing to sit on the edge of the picnic bench. Seth kept his place of leaning against the fence. The very fence he had slammed Tay into the last time they had fucked. That memory was so fresh that he could almost smell the sex. He loved the way she smelled, he loved how her pussy never smelled and he couldn't help it he loved to stick his face in it. Something he hadn't done to a woman since her.

Seth smoked another cigarette before standing up right. He looked at the other man for a moment before walking past him and towards his bike. When he was almost there he turned around, Seth didn't know why he was doing this but he had been where that man was.

"She's all around this place. It never gets easier… Shes like a nightmare and a dream all rolled into one. You never forget her no matter how hard you try. And she haunts you. Everywhere I go, I see her. Every bitch I fuck, I see her. When you really love her…. She doesn't just disappear no matter how hard she tries. She stays with you. You just… learn to deal with it."

Seth didn't say anymore as he climbed on his bike. He didn't look back as he drove off and he didn't wonder what the biker guy was thinking after he said that. Instead he forgot all about the man, the lake and Tay and headed home. His son was lying in his bed, sound asleep and Seth wanted nothing more but to go home and go to sleep as well.

-LK-

Jonny and Mac both looked towards the door when they heard it open. T walked in alone with her face completely void of emotion. Jonny walked towards her, slowly. He didn't know what happened while they were out there but Hap was no where to be found… at least until he heard the roar of an engine.

"I didn't kill him, he didn't kill me. We didn't fight or anything at all. Look go visit my dad tomorrow than I want you guys gone. All of you. The kids got school. The girls got work and you guys got a shop to run. I want you off my farm by no later than after dinner tomorrow. "

Jonny stared at his cousin as she said that. She didn't give him a chance to reply but instead of headed for the stairs.

"This was such a bad fucking idea. I wonder what the fuck happened while they were out there for her to tell us to leave already?" Jonny asked Mac.

Mac just laughed. "She didn't want us here in the first place. The fact that shes even letting us stay a night is a huge shocker in its self. I figured she would of just sent us right back but hey in the end it was all worth a try. From here on out we just got to let her make her own decisions. She will eventually choose the right path and we just need to keep our arms open and welcoming for whenever she decides to come back. "

Jonny just nodded because after all, what did he expect from her? Nothing was every easy with T….

-LK-


	23. Dealing with your demons

**AN: so read the long authors note at the bottom please. Sorry about the wait. Review and let me know your still interested…..**

Jonny stood at the hospital door and held his hand up to knock. He wasn't expecting the door to open right as he was about to knock. In fact Jonny had spent the last five minutes trying to figure out if he was really going to go inside. He and his uncle had never really seen eye to eye on anything, except for that T needed out of Carolina six years ago and that Jonny's house in Tacoma was the best option. The woman who had opened the door was a face that Jonny hadn't seen in a long time. Not since Aunties funeral, the last time Jonny had ever been in Carolina.

"hey Mrs. Beth." Jonny said in a quiet tone. The woman was older than the last time he had seen her, but she still had those eyes, the ones that saw into your soul. That held most of the secrets in his family, secrets that even Jonny himself never wanted to admit too.

"Don't just stand there, get your butt in and see your uncle. He's been waiting." She replied ushering him in the door and closing it behind her. Leaving Jonny in the room with his uncle, Jonny took a deep breath as he approached the bed. As Jonny took the recently vacated seat at the bed side, he stayed quiet wanting his uncle to be the first to talk.

"Long time no see son." His uncle said, giving Jonny a look he couldn't decipher.

"Yeah it has." Jonny replied.

"So I know why you are here. Not that I can blame you. The girl has always been too damn stubborn to think about herself for very long. Even not coming home wasn't really about her."

"So, what do I do?" Jonny asked in reply.

"Go home, I'm already working on a plan. I wont let her give it all up to watch me die. Watching one parent die was more than enough. She will be back to Tacoma soon. Even if I have to put her on a plane myself like I did all those years ago."

Jonny just nodded in response. He wasn't sure that T would let that fly again.

"Just got one question," His uncle asked.

"Yeah? Whats that?"

"He love her as much as she love him?"

Jonny couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. HE shoulda known that their trip into town wouldn't have gone by untold to his uncle.

"He loves her more."

His uncle nodded, a satisfied smile placed on his worn face.

"That girl is just like her momma."

-LK-

T didn't climb out of bed. She texted everyone goodbye, only allowing Junior and Ana into her room for hugs and kisses. She told Ana that her present would be in Tacoma by the time she got home. She pulled two boxes out of her closet and handed them over to the kids after making them promise not to open them until they were already on the road. As T closed the door after them, she couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until she saw them again. Christmas break? Or maybe spring break? Shit it might not even be until next summer. T climbed slow back into bed, Greg promised to over see the farm today. Him and Annie were worried about her, told her she looked sick and she should go back to bed. T couldn't help it, she went back to bed quietly. Her personal time only interrupted by the kids saying their goodbyes. T had never been good at saying bye. In fact she avoided it, with see you laters or just nothing at all. She knew that she might regret it someday, but goodbye always felt to ending. Goodbye was what she had said to her mother when they placed her body in the cold hard ground in a casket that was "beautiful" if you can even call awful things like that beautiful.

T climbed back into her bed. The room was a lot like it had been when she left. The huge four poster canopy, with blue sheer instead of white and sheets of all different shades of blue was still placed on the center wall. All of the posters that used to coat her walls had been taken down a few weeks before she left for Tacoma. All of her old clothes had been donated to good will, but she still had her momma's jewelry box on the vanity with the huge mirror. Mirrors, it was one of the things that T missed most about this room, the mirror over the vanity, the huge mirror in the bathroom and the mirrors that made up her closet doors. She also loved the bed, it was high enough that she had to jump into it and the pillow-top mattress was the kind that you just kind of sink into. She sheets felt like a new cotton t-shirt and her down feather comforter was cool on her body. T just laid there, letting the quiet surround her for a moment before turning on her IPod. As the country music poured out of the speakers that were placed all over her room, she snuggled deeper into the covers. She didn't plan on falling asleep, she didn't even feel tired. But somehow, the bed, the music and her body all caused her to close her eyes. And for once, she slept for eight hours, without sex or booze.

-LK-

Momma Sarah Jane and Momma Beth were not exactly happy with T. They thought that she was acting just like her momma, trying to give up all her dreams just to make everyone else happy. She didn't notice the fact that her not being happy made everyone else unhappy. She loved that man, she loved him more than they had ever seen her love any other man and she was just giving him up. Hopefully, he would be like Tay's dad and never give up until he makes her realize that she deserves to be happy too. As always though her daddy was coming up with a plan to make her realize she needs to think about herself. They knew that it might not play out the way he wanted it too. That Tay wasn't exactly the same girl she had been the last time he put her on a plane. They weren't stupid though, he was signing himself out of the hospital and going home to spend the last of his days on his farm with his family. Leaving Tay with no choice but to move on, he was going to tell her that his last wish, was for her to go back to Tacoma and be happy. He had a plan and his plans hardly ever failed. He knew when he put his daughter on that plane six years ago that it would be a long time until he saw her again. He made peace with that, he had faith that she would do better things with her life than she would living out on the farm. The three of them though admitted they were not too sure if she accomplished what the dream had been or not. They didn't know the details to her life, except for her graduating school and working for a CSI like those TV shows they found compelling. The shows that they watched because it made them feel closer to the girl they had lost so long ago. She was a woman now, in love with a handsome and scary looking man. They could tell when they saw that man though, that nothing bad would happen to her if he could prevent it. The look of love in her eyes when she looked at him didn't escape them either. She avoided the subject as she always had. Being open about her relationships like other girls had never been something that Tay found important to share. It had driven Ari and Cora crazy for as long as the mommas could remember. Just like it had driven them crazy when Tammy never shared the details of a date or a new love interest. They were private people about their private lives. They were loyal and strong and stubborn as hell, always putting others before themselves. They were selfless, not selfish but as smart as both woman had always been they also failed to see the fact that their own lack of happiness faded the happiness they were trying to provide others with.

Neither momma was happy with the task they were now completing. Nobody wanted to be the one to pull up that long West family drive way with her father. Nope, they knew that Tay was going to go mad cow crazy but it wasn't really like they were given much choice. Neither woman could blame him for wanting to spend his last days in his own home. As they pulled out of the hospital parking lot and onto the lone highway, no one spoke a word. All they could do was take the twenty minute ride to brace themselves for the anger they were sure they would receive when they arrived at their final destination.

-LK-

T didn't stay on the farm when she woke up in the early evening. All the chores were done, dinner had already been eaten and to be honest she wasn't in the mood for a lot of conversation. She had a single destination in mind, her momma. T didn't allow the memories of her and Seth sitting there jar the peace she planned on finding as she approached the grave. She held tightly to lavender she had picked from the garden in her hand. Her momma's favorite and just the smell of it always brought her tears to the surface. There was a light hint of lavender in everything that T wore. She washed her clothes with lavender soap, just so she could smell it when she put them on. She used perfume and shampoos and body washes with hints of it. It was never the light smell that made her eyes water, it was the strong smell of fresh lavender that always did her in. It was passing the fields of it, passing the little plant in the kitchen window that held it during the winter or the garden that smelled of it during the summer and spring months that did it.

T took a seat at the grave, she laid the lavender down carefully near the gravestone. She didnt talk or fidget. She just sat and let the birds and the wind and the rustle of the leaves be the words she couldn't find. Once she found her peace, she flipped open her cell and scrolled through her pictures. Upon finding the picture she was looking for she just prayed she didn't make a mistake.

-LK-

Happy hadn't said anything since they pulled off the long dirt road. He barely looked around or anything. He didn't know what to say. He left her and she let him. She didn't say goodbye again, she didn't text him or call or anything that might indicate the she wanted to take back having ever said goodbye in the first place. He brushed the thoughts off as quickly as they came. HE had done his part to right his wrongs with her. It was time for him to move on. He would be parting from the guys in some random Midwest state to do one last task for Glen as nomad before heading to Charming to have his vote put on the table. Charming was the best choice. It's close to his momma, he would have a set family even if they were full of drama, and there wouldn't be reminders of T everywhere. He wouldn't have to remember every detail of a night spent with her in his dorm in Charming. Nope, T wouldn't be able to haunt him there, at least he hoped. But what the Angel biker dude had said was sticking with him. He hadn't told Hap anything he didn't know but to know that he wasn't the only one who had felt like that was a shock. To find out that his (well not his anymore but no matter what she thought she would always belong to Hap) old lady stuck with and haunted more people then just him was a slight relief. Happy didn't need to feel like he was going soft or crazy because he wasn't the only one who felt like that. Happy heard someone shout out something, turning and looking around he saw Jonny pointing at the sign about a rest stop ten miles ahead. Giving him a confirming nod, Hap looked to see his surroundings. On either side of him were fields of wheat, at least that's what he thought until he took a deep breath and smelled the lavender and instantly his mind was flooded with thoughts of T.

"Just great" he mumbled "and the nightmare begins."

-LK-

As he climbed out of Beth's car, he looked around the farm. His puck up truck was missing, making it clear to him that his baby girl wasn't currently here. He let out the breath he had been holding, part in fear and part in anticipation. He knew that Taylor would take his being home as a bad sign, which of course it was. She would never guess he was about to flip her world upside down, one last and final time. He and Greg had worked out all the details. Greg had said that even though the man was slightly rough around the edges, he and Taylor had a love that shouldn't be ignored by ignorance from either one of them. Apparently, he was just as likely to give in as Taylor, which was not at all. When Greg had relayed that information, he couldn't help but laugh. Taylor was just like her momma, in both good and bad ways. She wouldn't take the world if it was on a gold platter in front of her. Nope neither of his girls ever felt like they deserved the best of anything if they didn't work hard for it.

He had been so lost in thought that he didn't really pay attention to where he was going but it didn't shock him at all that he ended up on the back porch by the fire pit, which was already going. He knew that Taylor sat out there with a glass of wine every night, much like how her momma had. No one would really believe that she drank wine though, Taylor had always been a liquor or beer girl. Something told him though that she drank the wine because it reminded her of her mom. Of everything that she and her momma had done together, Taylor always said that was one of the memories she held closest. It was those nights all of them sitting on the porch with the fire going, roasting marshmallows that they could act like a normal family. Like his wife wasn't dying, his daughter wouldn't grow up to hate him and they would all live happily forever after. Not that it really happened that way and in the morning sitting on the same porch with his coffee as he looked over his farm, he didn't see the fairytale anymore. He had never admitted to anyone except his wife when he sat upon her grave one day, that he felt like it was all his fault. Every single thing, he felt that he deserved to hold the blame for it. Even though the doctors said that no one was to blame for his wife's illness, he knew that he was only partly at fault for Taylor hating him, he knew that she was living in a world of turmoil and he just couldn't figure out how to help his seventeen year old daughter so he sent her to the only person he thought could, Jonny.

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting on that porch before he heard the footsteps. He knew those foot steps well, had heard them sneaking by him a million times but he didn't look over. He wasn't ready to fight with her, to see the sadness or the anger once she realized what was really happening. He felt the swing swift and creak as she added her weight to it. He heard the clink of the wine glass as she set it on the ground, he still couldn't find the strength to look at his daughter. He couldn't erase the guilt he felt at her having to sit by and watch one of her parents die, again. She didn't give him much choice as she laid her head on his shoulder. He felt his shirt become wet, leaning his head against hers he wished he could take all her pain away. She didn't deserve to sit by and watch this, but he knew she wouldn't go anywhere else. She was going to stay by and watch him die, she would stay strong and wait. She would make arrangements, she would have him buried next to her momma and then maybe she would go about her life. The thing she didn't know of course was that, even from his grave he wasn't going to give her much of a choice. She would return to Tacoma and to her man, if she liked it or not. After all it was the last thing he could do for her.

-LK-

T didn't think anything out of the ordinary when she pulled up to the farm. She didn't think anything when she went in the kitchen and got her wine but she did feel a nagging in her gut. Something she had been ignoring since moving to the farm. She didn't need to worry about or at least she thought. Looking back on it, she realized that she should of but she just didn't want to worry about anything. She wanted to keep the peaceful feeling she had found at her momma's grave. As she went to the porch door though, she noticed the figure sitting on the swing. His face was illuminated by the fire. For a moment, she was reminded of when she was younger, she was reminded of before momma died, or before she became a crazy ass teenager. His face was older though, creases lined it from both worry and laughing. He always had a wonderful belly laugh that was contagious, no one could not laugh when daddy did. Even if it wasn't a funny joke, even when they were mad or sad if daddy laughed you couldn't help it you laughed to. She knew as she looked through the glass, the reason that he was home. She felt her eyes water as she opened the door. She counted her footsteps, much like she had when it was her momma sitting on the swing, sick and dying. It was something she did to try to keep her mind of the realization that the world she had always known was about to end. She knew the time would come, she figured that he would demand to come home soon, that he would want to die in his own bed, the same way her momma had. She remembered when her mom refused the last round of treatments, told the doctor she wanted to go home and be with her family. She wanted to die in the place she loved the most surrounded by the people who loved her. Not in some hospital that smelt of death and bleach. Momma had always been honest that way, much like T herself. They didn't hold shit back, life was too short to keep it all in. Her momma had always told her "Live life, love fully and never ever let anything get you down."

The only reason that it wasn't a tattoo on her body was because it was one of those sayings she didn't want other people to steal. It was a saying that her momma had told her and she wanted to keep the memories of her momma and the times she told her that to herself.

She set her wine glass down on the ground after sitting on the swing. She noticed her daddy not looking at her on purpose. She knew that he felt guilty for doing this to her again, he had stated that a million times since she had been home and she had always given him the same reply. There wasn't anywhere else in the world that she would rather be. In some sick and twisted way, T felt like she deserved this. All the bad shit she had done, had lead to this. She wouldn't leave because she felt as if this was her punishment for all the sins she had committed, all the sins she was sure to still commit. She wouldn't ever admit that to her dad though. She wouldn't let him know his baby girl was a killer, a trained one, a good and she would never admit that she enjoyed doing it. She leaned her head on his shoulder, she couldn't help it as the tears feel. She felt him lean his head against hers and she knew than that it was almost time. But she wasn't stupid enough to believe that her dad didn't have something up his sleeve. This town was small, she was sure he had heard about the sons trip in and of course about the son who held her heart.

-LK-

Seth wasn't sure what to say. The Sons had left, by what he was sure was Tay's demand by he still hadn't heard from her. He still hadn't seen her and his guys he had watching her place had reported that her dad was home. When he had been told that, he felt the rock form in his gut. He knew that her dad was coming home to die and that made Seth worry about her. It had taken awhile for her to admit that she had to watch her momma die and now she was having to do it with her dad. Seth could never understand how she could live in that house, how the deaths there didn't haunt someone like her. Now, he understood. She was a killer and in some ways slightly cold at heart but it was the love that kept her there. He asked her once how she could do it. He had expected some smart ass reply, not the very serious and thought through one she had give

"_You learn to only see the good. You focus on those memories because that's how you want to remember them. You only see them for who they were in your life, the lessons they taught you, the way that they made you feel. Those are the things you see, the things you remember. All the other shit is just noise, its like static. You ignore it, otherwise it drives you crazy."_

Seth figured that the real reason he hadn't heard from her had to do with the dude that showed up at their spot. He figured that she loved him, real deal loved him. A lot like she had loved Seth himself and having felt that love, knowing that love was as real as it could possibly be made him know that his shot was over. It wasn't really anybodys fault that they lost their chance. The blame needed to finally be placed where it belonged. Not at her feet or his, not at her dads or Jonny's. It was all just random acts of fate or karma or whatever the hell that shit was. Jonny fully believed that they had been placed into each others lives for reasons that neither one of them could of known at the time. They seemed clear now, they set each other on the paths that they were meant to follow. Sure Seth didn't want to really be the one to blame for the creation of "T" and he knew that he wasn't all at fault but he had turned her towards the things she craved and now loved. She had made him a better person, showed him what it really meant to love and to commit and to want more. Yeah, he would always love her and he knew in his heart that she would always love him. But he was finally seeing what his guys had been telling him, had been trying to explain to him for years. He got it, he knew that their time was over, that the girl he loved, was changed and that if he wanted to cherish those memories forever he really needed to let her go. Otherwise all the things that had drove him crazy in a good way about her would drive him crazy in a bad way. Tay and T while the same girl in some ways, was way different in others. Like she had told him at her mothers grave the first time he saw her since she landed her ass in juvie…. "Tay is dead. All that is left is T, is the little killer of Tacoma."

Seth had never seen her in action but he had heard stories, seen the after math and every time he was grateful that his club and the sons were on good terms. He never would of guessed the person behind those stories, that made even some of the most hardened men he knew quiver was the same girl who used to own his world.

Seth looked down at his phone, it was ringing. The number displayed was from the prospect he had watching her house. He knew that it was time than, flipping it open he said the words that both killed him and lifted the weight he had been carrying off his shoulders.

"Pack it up. Time to come home."

-LK-

After she saw her father to bed, she walked out of the house. She couldn't help it, she felt caged in by the house, the farm, the people but mostly she felt caged in by grief and by death. She didn't plan on her dad making it past the week. Her father, always the planner had his whole damn funeral planned out. Leaving T to only, make sure that the obituary that Greg had written got published and make the phone calls. It was a sucky thing. She didn't want to just sit by and watch him die, but she wouldn't leave either. She was sure that was his plan. She was sure that Jonny had told him all about her and Happy and the love she holds for him. She figured her dad was hoping that with his return home to die, that it would turn her away make her want to go back to Tacoma. But she wouldn't or couldn't or maybe a little bit of both. The farm needs her, her dad needs her and the truth is that she needs them. She needs the normal life, the life she grew up in. She craved it, to T, it made her feel less… sinful, less evil. She didn't feel like the church was going to burn down every time she set foot in it. Everyone in town only saw her as who she was, as what they knew she had done with her life. They saw her as someone who helped catch the bad guys, not as a bad guy herself.

T drove for a long time, letting her thoughts cycle. She just let her body take her away from her house and somehow, she already knew where she would end up. She hadn't been back to the park since the night she drove away from Seth. She didn't have the heart to relive whatever memories would pop up at the sight of the place. It was a demon though, it was something she needed to deal with. And it was easier to face than her father, than her farm and the death that seemed to always follow her home. It was a place of semi innocence. It was a place where she could be reminded if the time before she became a bringer of death, before she ever knew what it felt like to have a boy break your heart or to know how much life can really change you. How the little things are just as important as the big. She wanted to remember that she had a choice that she could stay here, run the farm and meet someone knew or even go back to life with Seth.

She climbed out of the truck slowly, she was surprised by the bike that was parked in the lot. Not that she should be, she knew Seth still came here. He had told her as much. As she approached him, his eyebrows were creased and he was smoking slowly, a trait that he always had when he was thinking deeply about someone.

"You know, your going to get creases and look older than you are if you don't quit that." She heard herself say.

Seth looked at her and smiled.

"Guess we still are connected, something told me to come here tonight. I guess that something was you." He replied

T made no comment but approached him, she took a seat on the ground next to the same chain link fence that Seth had slammed her against the last time they had been there together. The memory of that night of the fight, of the fuck and of her leaving was still there. It fought for its attention, it wanted to be the one she always remembered there, instead of all the good times they had. She shoved that memory down as far as she could and lit a cigarette.

Neither person spoke for a long time, comfortable in the silence and each at a loss of what to say. Seth knew she wouldn't want to hear and sorrys and that she would be pissed if she found out he had guys watching her, even though she probably knew. T wanted to just talk, she wanted to just feel something other than guilt and nothing. She didn't want to be numb any longer.

"you know, I saw him. I had a conversation with the guy. As much as I want to hate him, I cant. I see parts of me in him, but mostly I see a man who loves you as much or more than I do or ever did. I know hes part of the reason that you are who you are. I think that I can relate to him because that was me, still is me sometimes. Even though I finally see what my guys have been telling me, I know now that you are not that same girl I loved, you are different. Your stronger, colder and more grown up but when I think of you, this place or the past I see you as that girl as Tay. That's what I know, that's what I want to remember. It made me think of the conversation about you living at home still, in the place that your mom died. How you said that you only want to see the good, how the bad and the different is just static. How if you don't ignore it, it will drive you crazy. I don't want to see you as the LK, I don't want to see you as T. I want to remember you as Tay and that's why I know as much as I still wish we could be together, we cant. Because your not that same person and I'm not that same person. Life has changed us. But that dude, he loves you for who you are now. I know he does. I see it, just like I saw it in me than. When the guys talked about you, when the stories got passed down about you and I saw grown men who kill quiver and I knew that the girl I loved was gone. But even in knowing that, you didn't quit haunting me. I still saw you in places I knew you couldn't be, I still smelled your perfume on my sheets, I dated girls that looked like you and girls that didn't but all I ever saw was Tay. You don't wear the same perfume, you cut your hair different and you have a whole different attitude. You are a different person. You don't go to church on Sundays and eat at the dinner with your dad after. You don't wear cowboy boots and wranglers with plaid shirts and cute little tank tops underneath. It wouldn't even surprise me if you hate blue now. I can finally say that, I'm making peace with the fact that your different in a lot of ways but your still the same in one. You still push the people, the men who love you away. You still feel like you have to do the "right" thing, the "best" thing for everyone, or at least what you feel is best. You still over analyze things that don't need to be thought about but just plain ol' felt. You love that man, that club, the family you have but you still plan on leaving them to stay here on a farm that you were afraid to come back to because you think that it's what your supposed to do. I would bet you that you're the only one in the whole situation who feels like that. You should ask people how they feel instead of assume because you know what they say about people who assume shit…."

She couldn't help it, she laughed. "They make an ass out of themselves."

Seth laughed and nodded too. T stood up than, she gave Seth a smile and walked towards the truck. Halfway there she stopped and turned around.

"My favorite color will always be blue. Every time I walk into a church I feel like its going to burn down and I do love him and I will always love you. Thanks Seth… Seems like one of us finally grew up. Take care of that boy. You ever need anything, you let me know."

She didn't wait for a response. She didn't figure she would even get one. She extended her hand to him, even though she knew damn well he would never ask her for anything. She had made peace with her biggest past demons since being back in Carolina. Her dad and Seth. It made her feel lighter knowing that she didn't need to carry that guilt around anymore. She didn't need to feel like her past was something that would come back and bite her in the ass. She still didn't plan on returning to Tacoma or to Happy. She sure as hell didn't want to live in Charming, California. But she didn't plan on the events that were about to follow either….

-LK-

**AN: while I hate cliff hangers, I just didn't want to add anymore into this chapter. I feel like I have kinda pulled T away from how I had envisioned her while trying to make her seem more venerable in this hellish time. I needed to make it that way, I think. I think that she needed to be brought back to some bad memories. I am hoping to have this story wrapped up in the next couple of chapters. It has ended up being way longer than I wanted it to be and it has changed from the way I had wanted it to end. I am sure that you guys are going to like this ending better than the one I had wanted it to be. I might, write an alternate ending with the way it was supposed to go but it just doesn't fit with the story anymore. Oh well. T is a crazy, indecisive bitch whos full of contradictions. I guess we will see what happens. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Sorry about the wait. **


	24. Past meet Present

**AN: so… I know I'm putting her through a lot and all but I do promise that this story is about to get better for T, well…. After this chapter anyways. Please don't kill me, and well enjoy the chapter : ) **

**-LK-**

He couldn't help but notice the sun rise. It was amazing to watch the sky change colors. Being awake early had always been his life. He was grateful to be back in his own home, sitting on his porch during his favorite part of the morning. The coffee Annie had brought him had turned cold as he sat there. He knew what the day would hold for him. He had a meeting with his lawyer, a conversation to hold with Andrew and spending time with his daughter. He didn't need to be up, she had taken to running the farm quite well according to Greg and of course the numbers. It made him sad, knowing what he was about to do but it would be the best for her in the end. She had already been delt too many hard hands in life. For once, she deserved to have something be about her. It was his last wish and even if he hadn't got to spend much time with her in the last couple of years, he knew that she would respect his last wishes. The slight knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts and back to the present. He had just finished writing the last letter he was sure he would ever write.

"Come in" he called from where he still sat. It wasn't a surprise that Greg was the one to enter.

"She will be up soon. Maybe we should get this started?" Greg asked. There was no hesitation in his voice. No judgement upon his face.

A nod was the only reply that he had. Once the door was closed he sealed the letter in the envelope, wrote her name on the front and added it to the pile for his lawyer. No matter what happened, he would enjoy today. He was home, his affairs were being handled in a way that would benefit them all, Annie would most likely make his favorite dinner and if he was lucky by the morning he would be reunited with his wife.

-LK-

Andrew paced across the floor in his room again. Greg had approached him quite early stating that Mr. West was home and would like a word with him. Even though Greg had assured him that everything was fine and that Mr. West just had a couple questions, Andrew couldn't help but feel as if something big was about to happen. Well besides the obvious of course. He had heard rumors that Mr. West would come home to…. Well to die, but he wasn't sure if he believed them. He wouldn't lie, he was worried about how T would react to it. Greg had said that her momma had died here, when she was younger. The story went that she handled her moms death badly and her father wasn't sure that living there was helping so he sent her to Washington to live with Jonny. A million rumors had flew around town about why she hadn't been back when she reappeared that summer with Ana, none of them at all believeable to Andrew, especially after he had seen her. His pacing came to a hault when he heard the knock on his door. As he walked to the door, he couldn't help but feel like the future of his life was on the line.

He had done a lot of fucked up shit in his life. He had went down the wrong path more than once. He had finally found a home, with a family and something that he enjoyed doing. He didn't want it to end. He had been given a chance when he ran into Greg in the small town his car broke down in. He worked his ass off, learned quick and stayed really respectful. He respected both men, he looked to them as fathers that he didn't have. A role model to do things right for once, it was his second chance. As he followed Greg into the main house, his heart beat quicker.

When Greg opened the door to Mr. West's personal room, a room that Andrew had never even though of answering. He was shocked by what he saw. Mr. West was sitting in a chair on the porch that over looked the back part of the farm, the pasture where the horses grazed but what shocked him was the smile that was placed upon the old mans face.

"Come here and take a seat son. We have much to discuss"

-LK-

Her head felt stuffy and she was sure her eyes were puffy as she woke up early the next morning. She looked out her balcony window, the sun was rising making the sky beautiful shades of orange and purple. It was her second favorite thing to look at in nature. The first of course being the lavender that grew in fields on the side of random country roads. Once the sun was high in the sky, she finally climbed out of her bed. She steadily ignored all the mirrors as she headed into her bathroom and turned the water on hot. The house was quiet and she knew the reason why. The night before had been anything short of a dream, of that she was sure. And she knew that her fathers arrival home had not escaped the farm nor had his reasons for coming home either.

She sighed heavily as she climbed underneath the burning water. She just couldn't catch a break. Jonny and the guys with their surprise visit, telling good bye to Happy, and now she was going to have to face saying goodbye to her father because if she was honest with herself, she knew he wouldn't make it past a few more days. It was a painful realization. After all, she only had one parent left and it was almost time to say goodbye to him too. She didn't rush in the shower, she took her sweet as time not getting out until the water ran cold. She knew that she was being childish, she had a farm to run. She shouldn't be wasting time hiding in her bathroom because she didn't want to face the hard facts of life. It didn't escape her though, that all she had been doing since she turned thirteen and found out her mom had cancer that she had only been dealing with the hard facts of life. The worst fact being that she was too hard on herself, she took the blame for things she didn't need to and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Something major that she held in common with Happy.

Just thinking his name reopened the hole in her heart she had swore to close off after her unexpected chat with Seth the previous night. She had made a choice, not that she would ever really know for sure if it was the right one. She didn't expect Hap to wait around for her to come back, not when they both knew that it was an unlikely outcome. In fact she was sure that Hap was in a dorm room somewhere sleeping off a night of sex and booze. She shook her head hard, she wouldn't go there. After all, even she wasn't foolish enough to not see that she had brought this all upon herself.

As she slid her foot into the boot, she heard the knock on her door. Annie waltzed in with a cup of orange juice and a muffin.

"Quit hiding in here girl. You know hiding don't stop life from happening. Eat, go feed your horse than go spend some time with your pa." The older woman stated giving T a knowing look.

"Yes ma'am" T replied as she took her breakfast from the womans hands.

Annie patted him gently on the arm before exiting the room. T ate quietly before grabbing her glass and finally exiting her room. Because even if she didn't want to admit it, Annie was right, hiding would do no good. Besides it wasn't like T hadn't gotten used to the hard cards of the game of life a long time ago.

-LK-

Happy wasn't surprised that he woke up early, but he was surprised it was early enough to catch the sun rise. He couldn't help it as he wondered if T had already watched it in Carolina. He couldn't get her out of his head, not that he really wanted to. Even in some random as club house after the night he had…. Well she was like the sunrise to him. She was bright a beautiful and made him feel less evil after the crimes and pain he had inflicted on the man from the night before. He wouldn't lie, he was more than glad to part ways with his Tacoma brothers late yesterday afternoon. The constant reminder that T wasn't riding behind them was too much for him to deal with. It was a constant reminder of the goodbye she had given him on the that old dirt road in Carolina. It didn't help that after he finished his task and came back to the clubhouse to have a drink and maybe get laid that most of the sweet butts either had really badly bleached hair or dark hair that reminded him of T. In fact he found something on every single one of the girls that reminded him of her. In daylight, as he walked through and saw them leaving he realized that his mind had been playing tricks on him and that none of these pass arounds deserved to be compared to his girl in the slightest.

As his cell chirped, altering him to a new message he hoped that it was from T even though he knew that it wouldn't be. It was a message from Jonny.

"He wants to talk to you…. " was followed by a Carolina number.

"Who" Hap replied. He didn't know anyone that would want to speak with him in Carolina. With the exception of the Angels and T, he didn't know anyone from there.

"Greg" was the reply.

Deciding that it would be better to call than keep up with the texting bullshit T had gotten them all hooked on, Happy dialed the number and waited for Jonny to pick up.

-LK-

Jonny woke up to his phone ringing. Glancing at the alarm clock that read 5:04, he wondered who the fuck had the balls to call him that early. He answered the damn thing just to make it shut up without even looking at the caller ID.

"Yeah?" He questioned gruffly.

"Boy, this important so you need to wake you ass up and listen. I'll give you a minute." The voice on the other line replied.

Jonny sat up as he heard the voice. The fact that Greg was calling didn't exactly make him thing straight to positive thoughts. Jonny climbed out of bed and headed for the porch where his smokes sat. After lighting one up he finally spoke again.

"Ok, I'm up. Whats going on?"

"Some big decision making is going on here. I want that boy's number. That's whats going on." Greg replied.

What boy?"Jonny asked. It took a minute for it to all click into place "You mean Hap?"

"What the hell kinda name is Hap?" Greg asked.

Jonny couldn't help but laugh "It's a nickname, but that's not important. What's going on? You said some decision making was going on here. Is uncle… Did he come home?" Jonny replied

"Of course he did, he came home to die. Now he's talking about having Andrew actually be here to run the farm so Taylor can come back there and be with the man she loves. I just wanna make sure that his boy understands that this is a big deal and I need to know that he loves her as much as she loves him before I let your uncle go through with this." Greg replied.

Jonny heard the worry in his voice. He knew that it was hard for him, his best friend was dying and he was about to send away the closest thing to a kid he had. It didn't surprise Jonny at all that Greg wanted to speak to Happy. Wanted to make sure that they were doing the right thing, they had all poured too much time and blood into both the farm and T for Greg to just give it all up. It probably didn't help that they just got her back.

"Uncles giving the farm to someone else? You know that shit will never fly with T."

"No, not giving it away. He wants T to still be in charge of the books and shit. Fly down once a month and check on stuff. He just wants Andrew to run it so T knows she isn't trapped here. He wants to make sure that once he's gone she's happy and free."

Jonny stayed quiet for a moment. This was all a huge deal and he couldn't help but wonder how she was handling it all. He didn't have to ask if she knew what was going on because he was sure that she didn't or this plan would of already been shot down. Nope, Jonny knew that they were not going to give her any say in this. "How about I just give him your number and tell him to call you. He's worse than me about getting woken up and I don't want you to get the wrong impression."

"If he don't call me by lunch time I'm calling you back and your giving me his number or I'm not letting your uncle do this." Greg threatened before hanging up.

Jonny let out a long sigh, took a deep breath and sent out two texts. One to Hap and one to T. Even if she was still pissed, even though she kicked them out, all that bull shit didn't matter to him. What did matter to him was the fact that she was about to have to sit at home and watch her other parent die in the house she grew up in for a second time. And if that didn't fuck her up and make her more crazy than she already was, he wasn't sure what would.

-LK-

T climbed the stairs slowly. Both lunches were in paper bags and a blanket tucked under her arm, she tried her hardest to forget the memories that flooded her mind. She didn't want the flash backs of having done the same thing when she was years younger of when instead of her headed to her dad's room but instead of him holding her hand as they climbed the stairs together.

She couldn't the stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks when she remembered the days that they ate lunch from brown paper bags on the huge blanket on the balcony in her parents room as a family because it was too hard for her mom to actually go outside and have a picnic. As she knocked on the door she wanted to regret even climbing the stairs.

He fathers voice telling her to come in sounded so muffled, that she wasn't surprised that she found him on the porch.

" I was wondering how long it was going to take you to come up here. Less time than I thought." He replied to her entance with a smile.

She smiled back and help out the bags and blankets as an offering, to afraid to speak. She didn't want to let any more tears to fall. It warmed her heart as his smile grew and he got up from his seat. T busied herself by handing him the lunches and laying out the blanket on the ground. She went into his room and pulled the cushions off the couch and placed them on the ground as well.

Once they were sitting, eating and talking it allowed her to remember the better part of those memories. Of the funny stories they used to tell each other, of when it became something that she looked forward to instead of feared and of when they used to be a family. It reminded her of being innocent. Before the fact that her mothers death was around the corner became real, before she started acting out, when riding horses and being daddy's princess was enough. It made her miss those days. The days before she meet Seth, before she moved to Tacoma, before Happy, Juvie and becoming LK. Those memories seemed so far away, they were foggy. Some of them faded as if they were from a separate life time, which in a way they were. They didn't really belong in her life, even though at one point they had been her life. She had destroyed her innocence the moment her mom died. She would never blame the loss of her innocence on her mothers death, even if in truth that had a large part of it. It wasn't something that could really be place on one moment or act that had happened in her life.

She didn't waste time worrying about the past or what she had lost, she hadn't in a long time. So instead she did what she always did. Pushed her thoughts of the past away and focused on the present and what little time she had left with her daddy.

-LK-

He had killed people, lots of them. More than he cared to remember for his family, his club and his life. But that didn't stop him from taking a large pause when Jonny relayed the request. Jonny was vague at best, explaining that making this phone call would be the best possible out come for his future, at least if he wanted T to be involved in it. Otherwise, well Jonny had done all he could. The rest was up to T and Hap theirselves. Hap was really curious on what Jonny had done, but in a way he felt it was best he didn't know. Denyability and all that if and when this shit fell on their heads and the wrath of T came around. Hap did not want to be first in line for that. No fucking way, sure he helped create the monster so to speak but he didn't really want to have to deal with the after math because that shit was more mess than he wanted to clean up.

Happy took a deep breath as the phone rang.

"Bout time you called boy. I was in half the mind to call all this shit off. I will make this short and sweet since from what I hear your not a talker. You love her?" Greg asked

"Yea" Hap replied.

"Than heres the deal, you break her heart and leave her or fuck around on her or any of that other bullshit while I'm still alive, I will shoot your ass. Biker club or not. Got me?"

Hap felt his anger rise at the threat but decided to just grunt in response. He didn't really see where this was going but he didn't feel like it would help it at all to be completely disrespectful and tell the old man to go fuck off.

"Andrew will run the farm, Taylor has to come down once a month and check on it. That's how this is going to work. I don't know how he came up with this shit but he did. He wants her to be happy and have love that is his last wish. That shit really rides on you boy. Take care of her."

Happy didn't have to respond as the line clicked. He took a long drag on his cigarette before finally saying what had been on his mind.

" the fuck just happened?"

-LK-

T had spent the rest of the day managing the farm, as she rode in from the pasture she wasn't surprised to find that everyone was finishing up for diner time. The time between lunch a diner had always seem to fly by so fast she didn't even realize how much time had passed. This diner was an important one for reasons no one would admit. She combed and brushed, fed and watered and wasn't surprised that she was the last one in the house and that they were all waiting on her. She washed up quickly before taking her place at the table next to her daddy.

Diner was made up of daddy's favorite, fried chicken with mash potatos, mac and cheese, green beans, collards and corn bread. All the hands were present, Annie actually sat down and over all it was a fun affair. Everyone laughed and joked, it was loud and crazy but it reminded her of why she had always loved the farm and the club. She missed her guys, she missed the girls, Ana and Junior. She didn't realize how much she actually thought of him. It was cleaning up the dishes with Annie that she finally realized everyone was keeping a huge secret.

"Your just like her ya know. Giving up your happiness for what ya feel is best for everyone else." T didn't needed Annie to explain who the "her" was. She already knew it was her momma, Annie was talking about.

"I know you love that scary looking one. I could tell the minute I saw the two if yas in a room together. You shoved them right out of the house and put them in a neat little corner of ya mind. He wont stay there ya know. He will always come back, if not in real life than in your mind girl. You deserve to be happy not sit on this farm and watch all the people you love die until its your turn."

T just kept drying, she didn't know what to say and knew better that when Annie talked you better just keep quiet and listen. T was half way done putting the dishes away when Annies hand on her arm caused her to pause.

"You helped enough, now go sit on the porch with your pa." Annie said handing her a glass already full of wine.

T nodded once, kissed Annie on the cheek and headed out the door that lead from the kitchen to the back porch. She sat on the swing with her father for awhile before he finally spoke.

"You shouldn't give up your life for baby girl. Its not fair for you to sit here and watch me die. Once was more than enough." The stern look he gave her reminded her of when she was a younger. It was the same look her gave her when he caught her sneaking in late or when she got a bad grade.

"There is no where I would rather be." T replied.

"Because you wont let yourself admit that your not happy and that you deserve to be happy. You need to go back to your man in Tacoma. I didn't need to be here to hear about the love you two share, even if you tried to hide it."

"Id rather be here. This is where I belong." T replied.

Her father shook his head before mumbling. "Just like your momma."

T watched him rise slowly from the swing. HE kissed her fore head. "I love you baby girl. Have a good night."

As she watched him walk out of the room, she couldn't shake the feeling in her gut telling her that he had just told her he loved her for the last time.

T sat on that bench for a long time. She wasn't sure when Annie or Greg had brought out the bottle of wine or even how long she had been sitting there but when she tried to pour another glass and realized the bottle was empty she figured it was time to go to sleep. As she climbed the stairs again, she paused at her fathers door. Deciding against going in she headed towards her own room. Climbing in her bed she finally looked at her phone for the first time. The only alert was a text message from Jonny. She kicked off her boots and climbed into bed before looking at the message

"You okay?"

"no" was the only reply she could think of. She wasn't mad at Jonny, not anymore. If anything she missed him and she needed him.

She knew that since becoming a killer her senses had sharpened. Something she had usually took a lot of pride in and was grateful for. She didn't feel prideful as she stood at the top of the stairs… she didn't feel grateful as she stood atop those stairs and knew that the only person on that floor who was breathing was herself. Her dad was gone and the only family she had left in this world was Jonny. The only thing that even gave her peace in that moment was that she knew her father was happy and somewhere… He was with her momma.

-LK-


	25. Stormy

**AN: so I didn't want to get all carried away with the death, the funeral and the will drama but I guess I kinda did. It does seem important though because maybe we are watching T grow in a new way… hell I don't know but heres the new chapter. I find that writing after I get off of my over nights seems to turn out better than most of the time. Anyways… Let me know what you think! **

Jonny dressed in black, the worry lines were etched upon his face making him look closer to his age than usual. T had denied his offer to fly down for the funeral; in fact she had denied any help he offered her. Jonny knew that she hadn't yet learned of the new outcome her father had put in place for her before his death days earlier. Jonny was at least grateful for the fact that he would miss that shit storm even though he knew that the after effects would follow her home whenever she reached Tacoma again. He was sure that the aftermath of learning she wasn't to be in charge of the farm, her father's death and her own guilt would put her in a position of slightly crazy… well crazier than she normally was. Jonny worried deeply that she wouldn't find a way out of the darkness he knew she was slowly creeping into. Their daily phone calls and text messages were enough for him to realize that she was close to the deep end of the darkness pool. A place he expected Happy was quickly approaching as well. The pair of them were more connected than even Jonny and Sarah, something Jonny didn't think would ever be possible. T and Hap were just two people that God had destined to be together, even if they didn't want to believe it or believe in God.

Jonny paced the floor, quietly and quickly waiting for the rest of his family to wake up but mostly waiting for word from T. Their conversation the night before left him with more answers than he thought he would ever receive about her recent behavior. Her staying in Carolina and watching her dad, even against his wishes was just as much about her as it had been about him. She felt that she deserved to watch that, that it was her punishment for being worse than sin, worse than most people on this earth at least in her eyes. It killed Jonny to know that she always felt the need to carry the weight of the world upon her shoulders when so many people stood besides her willing to help. She wouldn't never truly understand the amount of people who loved her, respected her and were more than willing to help her. She was the type that never asked for help and hadn't asked for help in any way since her mom died… Jonny knew that he would always feel partly responsible for some of the guilt she shouldered, he had allowed her to become the LK but Jonny was never the one to tell her no. No man in her life had ever really told her no. It just wasn't that way with her and Jonny noticed that his daughter was carrying the same trait. It almost was like being compelled, when you looked at T or Ana you saw something that made you just want to do whatever to keep the smile on their face. In T's case it probably helped her case that she was a scary as woman and you feared for your life when you told her no. It worked the same with her, she wasn't a huge one for telling others no. Koz and Hap were actually the first people Jonny had seen T tell a firm no too. It had become a more frequent thing since her becoming the LK but she still had certain people she wouldn't or couldn't say no to.

Jonny turned his head towards the hallway when he heard the door open. As he watched Ana approach him, he noticed that her eyes were puffy and slightly red. Jonny knew that she didn't sleep much the night before. He had heard her moving quietly in her room, as he couldn't sleep either. His daughter was a lot like T in the fact that she didn't want her mourning to be seen by others. So the fact that she had came out of her room at all surprised him. It was more shocking that she still displayed the proof that she had been crying. Jonny stared at her for a moment, he knew that she had become close with the only "grandfather" she had ever known but he hadn't expected her to take it as hard as she was. He held his arms as she approached him and for the first time in a long time he was able to hug and hold his daughter.

"Daddy?" Ana asked

"Yeah baby?"

"Auntie sent me a text; she said that Grandpa had asked her to send me something. She said she would send you the address and maybe today would be a good day to go get it… Can we go?"

"Of course." Jonny replied.

T had explained that when she arrived in Carolina after finding out about her dad that he had was getting ready to send something for Ana. She sent him the address and explained everything to him and Jonny had to agree with T that today would be a good day to take Ana to see the horse. Jonny should of expected that T would of found away to get Ana to focus on something else than the death that had just happened. It was very much like her to make sure that Ana kept a smile always.

"Go get dressed. We can leave as soon as you're ready." Jonny added before give her a tight squeeze and a light push in the direction of her bedroom.

-LK-

T hadn't slept in days, it wasn't like she had a million lose ends to tie up, or that she wasn't working her ass off all day on the farm. No she was avoiding sleep because she was trying to avoid the truth. In fact she avoided her bedroom except for changing and showers. She had spent most of the night texting Ana and it broke her heart that she wasn't there to fix everything she could. She also didn't like the fact that Ana was crying for T just as much as she was over the death of her grandpa. Sending her to see the horse was the only thing she could think of that would help get Ana past this.

T looked in the mirror, she almost didn't recognize herself. She was tan, her hair was tied up in a bun and she was dressed in black dress. She looked older, she looked tired and her eyes looked even more haunted than they use to. Her cell phone chirped, alerting her to the new text message. She was sure it was either from Jonny or Ana…. She almost dropped the phone when she saw the name displayed upon her ID,

**Happy: I'm sorry**

**-LK-**

Happy had heard about the death from Jonny himself and he didn't really know what to make of the cryptic shit Jonny had been spewing about how T was actually doing which only led him to believe that she wasn't doing well. In fact Hap would bet money that she wasn't dealing with it at all. She was probably working her ass off every day and getting drunk every night that is if he knew T at all. She probably hadn't cried, shit she probably wasn't even sleeping. Happy had seen her go zombie mode before, it was… scary. That was the only word he could think of that might describe how disturbing it was to watch someone who kills people for a living become a shell of who they are. To watch someone that he loved, slowly fucking loses all sanity. He had been lucky enough to bring her back when it had happened before. This time, Happy wasn't sure who was going to save her. She had locked him out, shoved him away and basically refused to acknowledge that he had ever been someone who held most of her secrets. Even Mac hadn't heard from her…

To be short, Happy was worried. If he thought it would do any good he would ride his ass down there, but according to Jonny shit was about to hit the fan big time. Happy knew better than to make his ass her target when it did. Jonny relayed that the funeral was today and that T had denied all requests to come to Carolina. She didn't want them wasting their time or money just to watch her dad be put in a box and buried in the fucking ground. Words that Jonny had apparently quoted from her mouth.

Happy had picked up his phone a million times to call her, never actually going through with it. Because he knew that she wouldn't answer and that her not answering would only piss him off. So instead, he wore black, woke up early and had watched the sunrise. Something that T had once admitted to him always reminded her of Carolina and her dad. It was something that they had done together a lot, as a family and something that her and her dad had kept doing even once her mom was gone. She had said that they liked to think that the sunrise and sunset was their own personal proof that her mom was out there somewhere watching her. That when it rained it was her mother's way of washing away all the bad shit that happened since the last rain and was giving her a fresh start. T said that she thought he would think it was stupid. Happy never told her that he thought it was a good way to look at the death of one of the most important people in her life. In fact there was a lot of shit Happy had wished he had told T as he watched the sunrise that morning and he wondered if he would ever get the chance to tell her. That if he did get the chance he would actually come out and say shit instead of acting like he couldn't feel anything.

Happy flipped his phone open again; he figured if he wanted to start talking now was as good of time as any. So he typed out a quick message and said the only thing he felt was good enough to get his point across in a text. A simple I'm sorry. He didn't expect a reply, he didn't expect shit but he figured that right now extending his hand was all he could do. That letting her know that he hadn't forgot about her, that she still mattered to him was the best way for him to show her that he really did mean what he said. After all, it wasn't like he really had shit else to lose.

-LK-

Greg glanced across the table at her. She hadn't shed a tear at the funeral; she hadn't said anything when they place his body in the ground. Actually come to think of it, Greg wasn't sure when the last time he actually heard her speak, it was a rare occasion to her words spill from her mouth in the past few days. He would here mumbled conversations through her doorway, lightly given commands when on the farm working and she said please and thank you when presented with food at dinner that was if she actually sat down to eat. Mostly he watched her run the farm, go through her father's office and of course get completely wasted on a whole bottle of wine every night. Greg remembered hearing the guys talk about how weird it was to see her drink wine when she almost always only drank beer or Jack.

Even though she hadn't said much, he knew that they were all about to get an earful or more. He watched her as she studied Andrew sitting next to him, nervously fidgeting. Her calculating eyes told him that she knew something was up. He could tell she was still undecided as to if it was going to be good or bad. Greg wasn't ashamed to admit that after a talk with Jonny, he had found and hid all of her guns and the guns placed throughout the house, per Jonny's advice. Greg didn't doubt for one minute that his niece had the temper Jonny claimed her to have. She was just like her momma, a god damn fire cracker. Though Jonny had said he and his boys had a different name for her, Dangerous.

Greg looked towards the lawyer. He was of course a long time friend of the family and Greg could tell he was nervous as hell too. Greg though, decided that keeping his cool was going to be vital to making sure that they all made it out of this, alive and as unharmed as possible.

The letters were passed out; Greg was surprised as one was slide across the table to him. He had thought that they had said all there was to say. He shouldn't have been surprised though that the old man had one more thing hidden up his sleeve. The tell tale sign of uncrinkling paper caused him to look away from the lawyer and stare directly at Taylor. She looked the picture of calm, but her eyes looked dead. Greg didn't think that would last long once was all said and done. In fact, while worried he was he was also glad to know that he would soon be witnessing a spear coming out from those eyes.

"First of all, Mr. West made some last minute changes to his will. I am sure this will come as a shock to some but all of us here know that he always had something up his sleeve. His first request is that you all read your letters, they might help give better insight to some of the choices he has made and of course they are the last words of a dying man. With that said, let's get started shall we?"

Greg heard Andrew take a deep breath and he himself had to struggle not to take and hold one as well. Greg nodded in response to the lawyers questions. _Here goes nothing…._

-LK-

"I of course leave the family home to my only child; Taylor Kathryn West on the pretense that she allows all the current members to stay living in there designated areas. That she maintain the up keep, pay the bills and promise to keep our family heirlooms in the family."

T nodded her head in response. She had heard and read this will before. It was nothing that was new to her. Or so she thought, the fact that he had last minute changes and didn't tell her both worried and pissed her off. She was debating what he could of change, hardly listening to the lawyer until she heard him say.

"In charge of the animals, the crops and the every day to day of the farm, while my daughter handles the finical aspect of the business."

T whipped her head towards the lawyer. "I'm sorry. I think I missed something. Can you repeat that?" She asked.

The lawyer took a deep breath before repeating "To Andrew Johnson I leave the manual aspect of my farm to be advised by Gregory Reynolds. He is to be in charge of the animals, the crops and the every day to day of the farm." The lawyer than looked up at her "He said that if after four years of living away from the farm and Carolina, if you wish to return and take over that you may. But he wants you to go out and live your life, to follow your heart and gain all the things that he could not give you. He said that your still in charge of all the business aspects, the money and all executive decisions made on this farm. That you are to fly down once a month and take care of paper work and the such. It was his final wish that you do not allow the farm and his passing to dictate your life but instead that you continue to spread your wings and fly."

T was stuck in shock. What the fuck had her father done? Hadn't he fucked up her life enough growing up? She gave up everything she had to stay here and run this damn farm so that it wouldn't be sold off to some random as person who would erase all of her memories. All of the good things that had happened.

T grabbed the letter off the table and stormed out of the room. She didn't care what else her dead father had to say. In fact she didn't even want to read the fucking letter he had left her. She was livid as she slammed the door to her room open. The first thing she saw was her reflection, playing off of all the random mirrors placed around her room. Picking up the brush off the dresser, she chucked it at the reflection of herself she saw. She continued to break every mirror, every reflection she saw. Her hands were bloody; there were shards of mirrors everywhere as she finally collapsed on the floor of her bedroom, in the dead center where, thankfully there was no glass. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks. She knew at that moment that she was crying for everything. Every life, no matter how vile she had taken, every bad choice she had made, every person she had hurt, for the loss of her parents and her innocence and mostly she just cried because she couldn't stop.

-LK-

The house was quiet, everyone pretended that they couldn't hear Tay crying, that they didn't witness of have a hand in the destruction of her life. No one could deny that they had jumped at the sound of each mirror breaking in her room, though. No one would share the fact that they felt guilty or worried of even afraid of the woman. Instead, they all did as they knew she would wish for them to do. Act like they could hear and see nothing.

Annie sat in the kitchen, where she could hear the quiet sobs of the only child she had ever had a hand in raising. She didn't pick up a pan to cook with, she didn't wash a dish or even open the fridge. Instead, she sat quietly at the kitchen island and drank a glass, well more than a glass, of wine and just listened. She hadn't heard her cry, hadn't seen her cry since her momma's funeral. A day that would always haunt Annie. Taylor had been so young, so innocent at that time in her life. She was still just learning how to be a woman. It killed Annie to watch Taylor lean onto Jonny for comfort, to see the girl breaking herself apart to only rebuild herself again.

Annie had read the letter that Tammy had left for her a million times, in fact Annie still had the letter, the words were fading. The paper was stained with tears but Annie had done her best to fulfill Tammy's last wishes. Annie had been the shoulder to lean on, the ear to talk off and the one to smack sense into the girl when she needed it. Annie knew, when Greg had handed her the letter from her pa that it would hold the same request as Tammy's had. And even though she didn't like it, Annie knew it would be up to her to make sure that tomorrow Taylor would spread her wings and fly again. Maybe she wouldn't fly straight, maybe she wouldn't full out soar but she would soon be leaving the nest. It was Annie's job to make sure that Taylor never, ever lost sight of having a dream, a wish and star. As it had always been Annie's job because no one in a million years would ever know the truth of the secrets that went untold in the West family home. Annie and Greg would take the last of them, to their graves.

-LK-

Greg wasn't surprised when Taylor appeared at his door bright and early the next morning. A look of determination etched upon her face. He noticed that her hands were bandaged, that her eyes were slightly blood shot and that she seemed to have gained years of wisdom in a single night.

Greg didn't think twice as he complied with her request to go with her somewhere. He just followed her out to her pa's truck and climbed in. The drive was decent one, neither one of them had ever felt the need to mindlessly chatter just because it was too quiet. In fact Greg knew that they both enjoyed the open road and the silence. It was peaceful to them, they didn't need to know what was going on with everyone or even what the plans were. They just went with it. Life was full of surprises and Greg had long ago quit trying to guess them.

He was a little surprised as they pulled into the ford dealership. T made no comment as she exited the truck and tossed the keys at him. He didn't figure that they would be shopping, Taylor would of only dragged him here if she had something in mind. When he spoted the larger F250 in a dark blue, he knew that was why they had came. She would leave, but of course she would take part of Carolina with her this time.

The truck was just like his but instead of the red he preferred it was the dark blue her pa had always had. Greg wasn't sure if she would head straight to Tacoma or if she would take her time and make a million stops on the way. He only knew that she was buying that truck to take with her and that she would leave. She would respect her fathers wishes and follow his will because that was just the way she was. When the storm was over, she always followed the wind.

-LK-

T had already made the arrangements to have her room fixed. The repair guy would be out that same day to fix the damage she had done and to replace the mirrors she had so carelessly destroyed. Her carpet too would need to be replaced because she knew that the glass would never be completely gone from it. So she wrote out the checks and left them on the kitchen counter. Greg was allowed access to the farm bank account and while she trusted Andrew she had no plans of turning over and allowing him any access to the farms bank account or numbers. She locked them all safely away in her fathers hidden safe.

She and Greg had already picked up her new truck, something that wasn't neccarcy for her to buy but Daddy had left her more money in a personal account than she had ever known of. In fact it was six years worth of money. She figured it would be a good way to remember him and Carolina by. The truck was part Greg with the style and size and part her dad with the color. She had made her quiet good byes to everyone before finally loading her bags and starting down the long drive. Annie had of course placed a basket of goodies on the passenger seat. T was sure there would be cookies and bread from the momma's along with plenty of Annies homemade meals to last her for the drive. She had thought that she would take her time but she knew as she pulled down the long dirt road, there was only one place that she wanted to be. And that maybe after all the effort he had put into coming to her, it was her turn to go to him…. Well maybe, after she stopped in Tacoma first.

-LK-


	26. You and Tequila

-LK-

You and Tequila make me crazy

Run like poison in my blood

One more night could kill me baby

One is one too many, one more is never enough

-you and tequila, Kenny Chesney

-LK-

Happy had heard the rumors. Two nights before his vote was to be put on the redwood table, he decided to find out the truth for himself. He bid his goodbyes to the guys before climbing on his bike and taking off as fast as he could out of the little town of Charming. He just had a compelling need to see if it was true. If she was really back in town…. He wanted to be pissed, he wanted to scream and fight and fuck and he wanted to just walk away from all the drama but he knew that he never would. T was part of him, a serious part of him that drove him crazy and made him sane all in one. She was the contradiction to his life. The light and the dark, the wrong and the right, happy and sad, every single good a bad thing in his life belonged to her. It was all tainted by her, much like Hap himself had become.

The ride seemed to fly by with him not stopping once in the twelve hours it took to reach the Tacoma clubhouse. As he pulled in the sun was rising. He immediately spotted the larger pickup truck parked in the lot. His mind was racing trying to figure out where he had seen that same exact truck before. It almost escaped him, the fact that he had seen that same truck on T's farm in Carolina except that one had been red. This one was like the dark blue one she had taken Hap for their drive in. God he wanted to hate that truck but if it brought his girl back home, it would be impossible to hate.

He parked his bike in line with the rest and dismounted it. As he walked towards the bay he saw the guys coming out to greet him. After a round of hugs he looked straight at Koz,

"Where is she?" Happy asked his best friend.

Koz didn't fake ignorance, he just shook his head "Don't know man. She pulled up in that big ass truck. Said Hey and took off in her car. That was a week ago. She just stops by every once and awhile says Hey and leaves again. Not even Jonny knows where she's at. She doesn't stay at the condo with the girls, its almost like she falls off the face of the earth and than magically reappears. Jonny has tried to get a tracking device on her car but she never stays long enough for him to do it. Im pretty sure she does it on purpose. You know how she is man. When she's ready, she'll come around."

Hap nodded in response, of course he knew how she was. She was evasive, she moved with a stealth that made Hap jealous and she was a wanderer. She was like the wind, something you always felt and never saw. Having been lost in thought, he wasn't surprised when he found himself at the clubhouse door. Shit, it might be early but like that country song T had taken to singing when she was drunk at the early hours of the morning, Its five o'clock somewhere. He only had a day and half, if he was lucky to see her before he needed to get back to Charming for his vote to be placed on the table. He had a feeling that he wouldn't get to see her. That she would avoid him and the club house for all that she was worth.

Hap was so lost in thought he didn't even hear the chair scrap as someone took a seat next to him at the bar. Glancing over he saw Jonny on one side and Mac on the other. Hap let out a huge sigh, he didn't figure a lot of good was going to come from this conversation but any news about his girl was better than the emptiness he felt since he rode off that farm in Carolina a few short weeks ago. It didn't feel like weeks to him, shit it felt like years to him. Life without her seemed to move slower and faster all in one and Happy was not liking the feeling, at all. He wondered, if she felt the same way. If she felt as empty as he did. It was a selfish thought, she had just lost her dad but Hap couldn't help it. He wanted her to feel the same way as he did. He wanted her to miss him, to know how he felt every single time he walked away from her or she from him. Happy was tired of hunting her down, of being the bitch in their relationship. It was the last time he would hunt her down, the last time he would come to her. He didn't care if it killed him in the process, he refused to continue to look like a bitch in front of his club.

-LK-

T wouldn't lie, she knew the minute that Hap reached the clubhouse. The random text told her all she needed to know. He was there for her, again. She couldn't understand why she couldn't be normal. She knew that if she kept playing hide and seek, she would eventually lose but for some reason she couldn't force herself to stop. She sat atop her trampoline and smoked her cigarette slowly. It was early morning already and she still hadn't slept. She would never figure out how she made the drive, she hadn't slept for days before she climbed in that truck and drove straight to Tacoma. She didn't make small talk as she exchanged the truck for the car and headed for her cabin. Half way there it occurred to her to stop and check for a tracker, which she didn't find. She texted Jonny right away and told him she was happy that he was finally starting to slightly respect her privacy.

Once she had reached the cabin, she took one of the many bottles of Jack, her smokes and IPod and sat on the trampoline. She had one goal in mind, to get drunk enough to sleep for however long her body needed to. She ended up passing out for over twenty four hours for peaceful sleep. She headed for the clubhouse once she had showered, eaten and decided it was for the best, after all she had just kind of disappeared. Ana would want to see her and tell her all about Sherry, her horse. T was glad that the horse had the affect she wanted it to, it kept Ana's mind off all the fucked up shit that had went down in the past couple months.

Even if she didn't really want to admit it, she missed him. She missed the fights, the fucks and the very rare moments of peace and love. His vote was to be put on the table in the next 48 hours… That very fact shook her to the core and not in a good way. She would miss his wandering because in her eyes, they had always shared that trait. They went where ever the wind took them and now, he was settling down. Making a place in a tightly knit group of small town people, a part of the large biker group she called family. By the time she had finished her smoke, she knew exactly what she needed to do.

-LK-

Jonny and Mac sat on either side of the killah, they knew that it was going to be one hell of a ride for the next 36 hours he was in Tacoma. Mac had hope that his message would have the effect he wished it too and that Happy's saving grace would show up, eventually. He hadn't spoken to her much since her return but he was sure that he had spoken to her more, than even Ana had. He would never doubt that she would go to the end of the world for Happy and he had a feeling that she would do something huge eventually. If she ever got over the cat and mouse game. Mac hoped she was realizing that Hap was almost at the end of his rope and if she didn't extend her hand this time, he would never be reaching out to her again. For now though, Mac was pretty sure that Happy understood, she needed him to reach out to her. T was focusing on herself and her own losses for once. She had paid a high price for the life she lived. She had watched both of her parents die, she had sat by and watched the life slowly seep out of the very people who had given her life. She had explained to Mac one night so long ago, that watching her mother die was like watching a innocent die, she didn't enjoy the thrill of it as she did when she watched the life flood out of a rapist, a drug dealer or the normal scum that she usually off-ed for the club. She didn't know how it was possible for there to even be a God, a higher power that would take people from them when she need them the most. She did recognize that there were probably people who had felt the same way about some of the scum she had killed, she knew that to someone out there that scum hadn't meant the world to them. That was why she stayed out of 9ner and Mayan drama. She stayed firm in her belief on that, even upon witnessing some fucked up shit that she of course wouldn't share she stayed in not getting involved in the drama surrounding her girls brothers. She said that her girls were close with many people in their family clubs and that she wasn't sure she could forgive her girls for harming one of her boys so she wouldn't expect them to forgive her if she did.

The girl had a hard life, not all of it was out of her hand though. She had made her own choices. She had made her own mistakes and learned some of lifes hardest lessons too soon. The only time Mac had seen her cower, falter or just plain fuck up was when it came to her relationship with Happy. Now that was something Mac had watched be destroyed and rebuilt too many times to be healthy. It wasn't just their relationship that was constantly being destroyed and rebuilt. Oh no, the pair broke each other down until there was nothing left and than started to piece each other back together. Every fight, separation, and reunion changed them. Not always in ways that were noticeable, not unless you looked closely. You had to know them to understand how they would most likely kill anyone else that they ended up with or at the very least they would seriously mentally fuck them up. They just went together, like to pieces of the same puzzle, they were cut from the same fucked up cloth. Mac couldn't help but laugh at that analogy. He was pretty sure that T and Hap's puzzle would always be missing certain key pieces and the cloth they had been cut from was full of holes. Not that it mattered really though, because with or without T and Hap would be the death of each other. At least together they had a fighting chance, apart they were almost suicidal, actually there was no almost. Without each other, they are suicidal. Mac looked down at his phone as it chirped.

Make sure he doesn't get too wasted, need him to drive the truck.

T

Well, guess that maybe shit would work out after all. Now to keep Hap from getting to drunk and keep him away from the sweet butts, but looking at the halfway gone bottle of tequila and the hungry look Hap was giving the sweet butts Mac knew he had his work cut out for him.

-LK-

Hap was shocked that neither Mac nor Jonny spoke after taking seats on either side of him. Hap paid them no attention though. He was focused heavily on the bottle of patron sitting in front of him. It slightly crossed his mind that getting wasted wouldn't be such a good idea if because if T did show up, well lets just say that tequila and T were his poisons. Also he knew that fucking a Tacoma sweet butt was well out of the question, if he wanted to keep his dick. Happy wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there with his old president and VP. In fact he had been so focused on the half clothed sweet butts that he didn't even notice Mac get up until Mac had slammed a glass of water in front of him, replacing the bottle of Tequila.

"The fuck?" Hap asked, he could feel his anger rising. The rational part of his brain knew that him drinking Tequila without T to keep him grounded was a bad idea but at the time he hadn't really cared to pay notice to the bottle he grabbed and well once the first shot went down, that was it.

"T shows up and your drunk on tequila fucking one of those sweet butts me you have been giving hungry eyes too, your fucked. Jonny and I are already having to give them death glares to keep the fuck away from you. Whores cant decided who they should fear more, us or you. Kinda funny watching them think it over though." Mac said with a laugh and gave the water another push towards Hap.

"you know something I don't brother?" Hap sneered.

Mac shook his head in a disappointed way, which actually really hit Hap. Mac had barely been in the club when he sponsored Hap. In fact, had Hap's prospect term gone fucked up Mac might of lost his patch. So Hap knew that his show of disrespect was unfair and well he deserved worse than a disappointed look from Mac. Though it seemed that disappointing Mac had a larger affect on everyone than having him screaming at you did.

"Fine" Hap grumbled as he drank the first glass quickly before heading to the bathroom to piss.

He wasn't sure how he managed it but he shoved off every advance made to him by a sweet butt. By the time he had returned to the bar he was sobering up a little and the proud looks displayed on both Mac and Jonny's faces made Hap wonder what the fuck had been going down in Tacoma since he had left. Hap drank the glass of water one of the prospects refilled for him and glanced around the clubhouse. The door opened and in walked one of his favorite sins.

The simple black lace up top displayed her tattoos, the sight of the smiley faces brought a smile to his own face. The tight jeans showed off all of her curves and led down to a pair of knee high fuck me boots. Her hair was down in its usual wild mass of curls, her make-up was natural looking as always and her jewelry was all firmly in place. She looked as beautiful as she always had, to him not even his drawings did her justice. One his eyes locked with hers, she started her walk forwards. Hap vaguely noticed all the sweet butts looking anywhere but at him but mostly all he noticed was the click of her heels as she approached him, slower than usual. Once she reached him, she slid into Mac's empty bar stool.

"How drunk are you?" She asked him, her voice feeding an addiction Hap never knew he had

"Not much, Mac made me stop an hour ago. What's up?" He replied

"Wanna drive a cage?"

"I can, where we going?"

"Follow me. That is, if you can keep up." She replied tossing the truck keys at him and standing up.

She was half way to the door before Hap realized what happened. He didn't need any more invitation than that. Hopefully after tonight, he would have his old lady back.

-LK-

T walked quicker out of the clubhouse than she had when she went in. She had already debugged the truck and while she was half in the mind to rip Jonny a new one, she decided that Hap was the more important thing. So she let it slide and made her move. She didn't need to look behind her to know that he would follow and a few moments later the sound of his boots behind her, proved her right. She felt amazed as she did everytime that she had any power over the killer. Just as she felt in shock when she realized how much power he had over her.

She decided to be nice and wait for Hap to get in the truck and start it up before pulling to the gate. Once Hap was behind her, she exited and drove southwest towards her cabin. The ride was about forty five minutes but it would be worth it, once they reached the destination. The ride went quicker than it had on the way there, much to her surprise. As she pulled up and opened the gate, she felt complete. She didn't feel the constant void, she had since Hap had drove off her fathers farm. She wasn't numb, in fact she felt a whirlwind of emotions. She exited the car and walked towards the back gate, motioning for Hap to follow. She entered the house through the screen door and she could feel Hap's shock and lack of approval from behind her.

"Don't you know better than to leave your doors unlocked?"

"Im in the middle of fucking no where Hap, you probably wouldn't even be able to find your way back. If someone wants in my house that badly, well they can have at it." She replied as she entered the kitchen.

She pulled out a bottle of tequila, something she rarely drank but it was one of Haps favorites so she kept it on hand for whenever she missed him. Not that she would admit that to him or anyone else. Hap had taken a seat at the kitchen counter on one of the bar stools.

'How long you had this place?" He asked as he looked around.

T poured the shots before turning and placing one in front of Hap. She reached behind and grabbed the bottle as well. "I bought it a long time ago. Got a rather large check from my dad and used it as a down payment. Finished paying it off two years ago." She replied before slamming back her shot and poring another. Hap slammed his and motioned for another one. T poured it and together they slammed the other ones. She walked towards the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. Once she had made herself a drink, she asked "Want a tour?"

Hap nodded and T walked around the corner. She showed him the first floor before taking him up the stairs. She could feel his eyes burning a hole in her as he watched her climb the stairs. The first door was Ana's room. It was purple and grey, with a large TV and bed inside. It didn't get a lot of use, but than again the whole house didn't get used all that often.

The next door was Ana's bathroom, it was a mixture of greens. The tub was large but no where near as big as the one in T's room. The last door on the right was to her bedroom, she opened it before motioning Hap to go before her. She wasn't sure that it would be a good idea to go into her room with him, she wasn't sure if she was ready for the fuck fest she was sure would take place.

-LK-

Hap was shocked to say the least, neither he or any of the guys would of ever assumed she had a place like his hiding in bum fuck Egypt. He wouldn't lie though, the place was amazing. It was all girly, which led Hap to believe that at one point, T had planned on sharing it with a man. In fact Hap picked out a lot of things that were to his liking and style. He wouldn't go there though, he wouldnt believe that T had done something for him. But the tequila, the couch and the natural colors all screamed differently. T couldn't help but watch her ass as she climbed the stairs. He wanted her something fierce as much as he always had, shit maybe even more.

It didn't surprise him that Ana had her own room at the cabin. T came to the last door and opened it before motioning for him to go in. He knew at once, that it had to be her bedroom. Upon entering, he knew he was right. The room was a mixture of blues, there was a large canopy four poster bed placed in the middle of the center wall. A large entertainment shelf was directly across from it with a few of those really large chairs she loved on either side facing the TV. The room was large, easily the size of the whole living room, with a door on the far left side. Hap walked towards it and opened it. He walked into a large bathroom, the bathroom was shades of grey and scarlet. A huge walk in shower was displayed on one side while a large Jacuzzi was placed on the other. The toilet and sink between the two. There was another door on his left. It opened into a large walk in closet, it smelled like T and Hap couldn't help but take a big breath. Her smelled was burned into him. Some type of Victoria secret perfume she loved, mixed with the shampoo and body wash she used. Of course when he actually smelled her, he could detect the slight sign of smoke but here in this closet was T, fresh out of the shower.

He exited the closet and was meet by T standing in the bathroom door way. She gave him a faint smile before speaking "Lets go outside. It's a nice night."

Hap watched her turn around and walk quickly out of the room, as if she was afraid that Hap might grab her and throw her on the bed, which of course had crossed his mind. He took the stairs down, not surprised to see that T was already outside the door. Hap grabbed the bottle and followed her out.

He found her sitting on a rather larger trampoline, with her music playing. He climbed up and joined her. The pair sat quietly, looking at the stars. Hap didn't think you could see them as well out here as you could in Carolina but it reminded him all the same. He was feeling the buzz creep up on him as he smoked another cigarette and looked at T. She was still looking at the stars and for some reason Hap wanted to draw her. He would put the memory away for when he got near his new book, since T still hadn't given him back the old one. He heard her singing quietly before leaning over her and turning it up. Once he heard the words, he was pretty sure that he found a song that would stick with him always, even if it was country.

"You and Tequila make me crazy, run like poison in blood. One more night could kill me baby. One is one too many, one more is never enough. When it comes to you, all the damage I could do, its always your favorite sins that do you in."

Happy looked at the bottle of tequila. It was almost gone. T's drink had long ago been emptied. The pair of them had been drinking straight from the bottle since then. He took a swig before passing her the bottle. He watched her finish it off and as she looked back at the stars Hap took the bottle back from her. He sat it down next to him, before reaching out and pulling her into his embrace. He looked in her eyes for a moment before kissing her with as much passion as he could. All the while listening to a country voice sing "You and Tequila make me crazy…" Happy was pretty sure then no one had ever understood him more than the dude that wrote that song.

-LK-

Neither was sure when it happened or even how it happened but T was against the wall, her legs wrapped around his middle as he pounded relentlessly into her over and over again. They were both sweaty, the sounds of skin slapping, T's almost screams for him to go harder and Hap's quiet but there moans were the only sounds in the room. Quiet music floated into the open window from T's IPod still playing outside. It didn't matter how loud they were, there wasn't anyone for miles to hear them. For once they both let completely loose. Hap pulled away from the wall and sat on the chair closest to him. T slide herself up and down on his cock, watching the way her pussy seemed to sallow him whole. It reminded her of how much he actually lived inside her, even when he wasn't inside of her. Hap watched her, watch their bodies connect much like he had done before and he couldn't help it. For once he asked

"Whatcha thinking?"

T slowed her hard pace to more of a rocking motion. Usually talking during sex, unless it was dirty talk ruined the moment for her but Hap's question didn't even faze her sexual need or desire for him.

"It just makes me think about how much you really are inside of me. Even when your dick isn't in me. You live in my soul Hap. We always sallow each other whole. It hurts on the way down, but knowing that your always with me is worth the pain." She replied before leaning in and kissing me.

She didn't think he would respond but she didn't want to give him a chance to either. She just wanted to live in the moment. She wanted to fuck the shit out of her man and have him fuck her until she couldn't walk right for a week.

They moved from the chair to the bed in a tangle of limbs, Hap's mouth latched on her breast while his other hand slide over her clit, inside of her and back again. One of her hands was wrapped firmly around his cock while the other played with his balls. T could hear her moans they sounded strange to her, almost as if they were coming from someone else. She groaned at the loss of Hap's hand playing with her pussy and his mouth on her nipple as he began to kiss down her stomach. Hap wasn't always a generous lover, T knew that first hand but he always wanted to make sure she came. Even if it was because she made such a wet mess, that he didn't need any lube to stick is dick in other places. At the current moment with Hap's mouth on her clit, she didn't care where he wanted to stick his dick as long as he didn't stop.

She came with a scream and splash, making Happy grin hugely. T was the only woman he had went down on since joining the club. For him, doing that was a show of love, devotion and upmost respect. The fact that he felt like she was clean enough to put his mouth on well that spoke volumes in Happy's head.

Hap slowly climbed he way back up top, making sure to wipe his face on the already drenched sheets. As he climbed between her legs he could feel her legs still shaking slightly and see her heart beating hard against her chest. It made him proud to know that he made her feel like that. To know that she trusted him enough to become putty in his very capable hands.

A couple quick tugs and he was hard again. He slide in easily, paying careful attention not to go towards the other hole. Sure they had tried it a couple times and it was his preferred method with the tarts around the clubhouses but this wasn't a tart, this was his girl and well he just wanted to come inside her. Her answer to his question made him want to come inside her a million times. He wanted to make her have his baby, he wanted to fill her completely. Shit, he just wanted her. All of her, to himself.

T pulled his head down and kissed him passionatly before putting her legs on his shoulders and giving him a new angle to get at. She could feel herself reaching peak again, but she didn't care if she got off or not. She wanted him to get off, she wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel. So she whispered dirty things in his ear, before begging him to flip her over. It was both of their favorite position, which caused it to always be their last usually after it brought them both to orgasm. She screamed for him to go harder, faster, she didn't care she just wanted more. Happy was never one to disappoint and gave it to her as hard and as fast as he could.

Her orgasm came with a scream of his name and bringing on his own with a vicious roar.

The pair collapsed on the bed, both breathing hard trying to catch their breath. T scooted over to avoid the puddle she had made and to get some of the fan to cool her over heated body. She wasn't expecting Hap to pull her into him and place her head on his chest. Feeling sleepy, due to the tequila and sex she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Hap ran his fingers through her hair, which had become even more crazy during the wild sex. He kissed the top of her head, pulled the covers up to cover her because she always got cold even in 100 degree weather and started humming the tune to the song that would forever be his song for T before drifting off to sleep himself.

-LK-

T had woken up, not at all surprised she was still sleeping with her head on Hap's chest. The blanket was tucked under her chin and his arm was wrapped securely around her bare back holding tightly to his hip. She kissed his chest before slowly sneaking out of his grip. She headed to the bathroom, never aware that Hap had woken up and watched her walk away from him. She took a hot shower before putting on a pair of sweats and a tank top. She smiled at Hap's sleeping form before exiting the bedroom and heading for the kitchen. All the while picking up their clothing that was thrown randomly around the house. She threw the clothes in the washer before she started a pot of coffee. She made herself a cup and headed outside for a smoke.

She didn't over think about the night before, instead chalking it up to both of realizing that they like a life together is better than any life they would have apart. By the time she finished smoking two cigarettes and drinking her coffee, it was time to change the laundry. She loved her large industrial size washer and dryer. With her love for expensive sheets and large ass beds, a normal washer and dryer would never work. She started cooking breakfast, figuring the smell of food would wake Hap up. She was right when ten minutes later she heard the shower start up. She grabbed a cup of coffee and brought it up the stairs setting it on the bedside table, along with a pair of his boxers she had stolen the last time they had been on good terms before quietly exiting the room and heading back down stairs to finish breakfast.

-LK-

Hap hadn't wanted to let T go when she woke up that morning. He worried she would over think everything but when he heard the shower start, the sound of the water put him back to sleep. It reminded him of the rain. He could only imagine what it would sound like on the roof of this cabin that T was currently calling home and he was a little sad that he would most likely never get to hear it. He woke up to the smell of food, he was sure that T would be making more than she needed to but she always like to have options so he headed for the shower. He didn't see his clothes lying around anywhere but he figured in the middle of fucking no where it was perfectly ok to walk around naked. He was completely relaxed in the shower that had a bunch of different shower heads that hit all his sore muscles. He didn't want to get out but he his stomach growled and he really needed a fucking cigarette. So he turned it off and climbed out. He had used her soap, mostly so that he could smell her when he was no longer around her. There were other soaps, more manly smelling ones including the one that Hap himself used.

As he walked back into T's room, he spotted the cup of coffee and a pair of his boxers. He was pretty sure that they were not the ones he was wearing but T had a thing for stealing his clothes so he knew they were his. He slid them on before taking a long drink of the coffee. As he headed down the stairs he could hear T in the kitchen, a dryer going on and he spotted his cut on the back of a chair at her kitchen table. He didn't remember putting it there but the house was spotless so he figured that T must have already picked up their mess from the previous night. Most women didn't understand the importance of the cut, something he never had to worry about with T. She made sure his cut was always held with the upmost respect and taken care of while in her possession.

Hap walked through the dining room and out the glass door, a pack of smokes and a lighter were sitting on the table. Happy took the seat next to it and lit one up. He looked around the yard. With the exception of the large trampoline, there wasn't much in the yard. The large privacy fence blocked her home from the woods, the trampoline sat almost in the middle and on the far side of the deck, about twelve steps from where he was sitting was a hot tub. He figured it didn't get much use since T had a huge Jacuzzi tub in her bathroom but he figured it was something she and Ana like to do together.

Happy reentered the house, to find T placing the last of the food on the table. There was bacon and eggs, toast and Hap's favorite biscuits and sausage gravy. The small lavender plant growing in the kitchen window, that had escaped his overview last night was the only thing that Hap could find in the house that was from her life in Carolina. That and the truck he drive that was parked in her long drive way. She was a different person when she was in Washington than she was in Carolina and he figured that it was because she was two different people. Hap knew how that felt. He was one person when he was with the club but another all together when he was with T.

-LK-

T had given Hap his clothes out of the dryer after they finished breakfast. She loaded the dishwasher before going upstairs to change. When she came back down, Hap was looking through her bookshelf. She smiled, he didn't read but how much she read had always impressed him.

"You ready?' She asked him from the doorway.

She had already locked the sliding glass door mostly because she didn't want to get a lecture from Hap. He nodded and the pair headed out to her truck. As they took the curvy roads, Hap was surprised to know that he probably would never be able to find his way back. It didn't matter that T had made him promise not to tell the guys where she was at because he wouldn't be able to tell them shit anyways. He was lost, she didn't need him to tell her that to know. It was obvious by the frustrated look on his face.

She took the interstate this time, hoping to confuse him more and because since no one was following her she didn't need to take it slow. A half an hour later they pulled into the clubhouse. T didn't climb out, instead she slide over to Hap and climbed on his lap. She kissed him before getting off and back behind the wheel. She wished him luck, even though they both knew he wasn't going to need it and she backed out of the parking spot. Waved to Jonny and Mac before speeding out of the lot, she wouldn't tell anyone but she was afraid that if Hap had asked her to go to Charming she would hop on the back of his bike right than and here. She wasn't sure that she was ready to go to Charming but as it always does, T knew that life would end up surprising her.

-LK-

**AN: So I almost ended the whole story in this chapter but I changed my mind or well T changed it for me. Anyways, im thinking one more chapter and this story will be a wrap : ) Still undecided on if I am going to do a sequel but who knows. Once this is finished I am going to finish Becoming a Killer (hopefully) and Love, Life and Loss. I have also been getting requests to do another Twilight story so I'm considering it but it wont be a sequel to my pervious one and well I don't know. Right now, im just going to finish this one. Should be done soon : ) thanks for everyone whos reviewed and supported my story I am so glad that you guys liked it. **


	27. About Damn Time

Happy stared at the sunset, smoking his cigarette slowly not allowing the Friday party to phase him in the slightest. He ignored the barely clothed whores that had been trying to gain his attention all night. Tonight, he had no desire to bed a used up, no respect for herself woman. No tonight, Hap just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts about his woman. The way her eyes lit up when he slammed her into a wall, bed or even the ground, the way her hair felt as he wrapped his hands in it and pounded her from behind and the fact that every moan and groan and whisper of his name was real. She was as real as they came, as club oriented and street smart as some of the men in the club. She made sacrifices for the people she loved, she committed serious crimes for those same people and she showed respect to people even when they didn't deserve it such as Jax's pregnant doctor bitch. It was true, no one was as perfect as his girl.

It had been a month since he had last seen her, a month since their night at her cabin and he couldn't help it, he was really starting to believe that she would never join him in Charming. They talked about once a week, sometimes more but he could never bring himself to ask her if she planned on coming and she never brought it up. Hap remembered one conversation they had and if at that moment he still would have been nomad he would of drove up there and kicked her ass. She gave him permission to do what he needed to do while he was in Charming, stating that while they loved each other nothing was official and that he could fuck who ever he wanted to, she just didn't want to get slapped in the face with it. Hap didn't admit that he had already had his fair share of the Charming crow eaters but he didn't think he needed to, knowing T like he did he figured she would of guessed it. She was just giving him permission so he wouldn't harbor guilt about it. Something that he wouldn't admit to but he did, it was easier to not feel guilty about it since it was Charming and his club unlike in Tacoma where it was "their" club even if she wasn't a patched in member. Tacoma was her home and fucking those bitches there was like having sex in her bed, just plain fucked up. Something that she had forgiven him for but he knew that if the tables were turned, he wouldn't be able to forgive her. In fact it had been a slight struggle to forgive her for the Florida dude and the tattoo guy. In his eyes she was his old lady, had always been his old lady and would always be HIS old lady. He knew that it was those exact thoughts that were causing him to sit here and think about her instead of enjoying the party with the rest of his brothers.

The week before, Tig had found the country CD Hap had Juice make for him. He knew the retard hadn't ratted him out because Hap had threatened the fucker with his life. Nope, Tig had just been snooping and decided it was something worth giving the killer shit over. No one had expected the reaction from it or the fight in the ring which left them all speechless and Tig with one eye swollen shut and a few bruised ribs. Hap later learned that Juice had been forced to talk about the CD by Clay, which helped a little bit and no one brought up the CD, the music or his girl again. Three things mattered to Happy and his brothers knew that and didn't fuck with that. His club, his ma and his girl once they found out about the CD's background, everyone understood the reaction. Hap figured it threw them all for a loop considering that he and Tig were close, their psycho tendencies allowing them to bond over things most of the other guys didn't or couldn't understand. Hap would never tell them how truly lucky they were to not know, to not feel the shit he felt, Tig felt and T felt. They were allowed to hold the gun, but they never truly had to pull the trigger. To live with things that made them want to empty their stomach contents. Hap was itching for a mark, for some action other than pussy, drama, and the small feuds between the 9ners and Mayans. Of course small time nords were still around, like Darby but well life would be boring without that bullshit and dealing with that was way better than dealing with the actual drama brewing in the club. Clay and Jax were at each other all the time, Jax was full of drama himself with his bitch( Hap couldn't refer to her by name, not after she had completely disrespected his girl after she saved her life and Abels) and the other bullshit. Which is what it all was to him, expect of course when it came to Opie. Opie deserved to Have Clay's head on a damn platter, Tigs too for that matter but it wasn't his business. It was before his time at Charming.

Hap missed being nomad, he missed the freedom of the open road, the random missions he was sent on and he just missed moving with the wind. He felt caged in, something he thought might happen but he had higher hopes. It hadn't ever really crossed his mind, since Clay had first asked him to transfer into his charter, that T wouldn't be coming with. That she wouldn't be by his side giving him good reason to actually settle down. He had just assumed that she would follow eventually, which he knew was a mistake. He knew better than to assume anything with T, she was as wild and free as the wind and as he used to be. It was one of the strongest points that had drew him to her. Her wild and crazy ways, thoughts and feelings.

Before she had stepped foot into the Tacoma clubhouse, he had heard of the others talk about her. He would admit that he was slightly intrigued but nothing out of the ordinary for someone of his stature. He was the SAA at the time and it was his job to protect Jonny and his family. He would of never guessed that this girl would of came along and changed his world. It was still a shock to him that just six years ago, she was a pretty untouchable girl just moving in. Now she was a killer, one of the best and she was his. Their age gap never really bothered him before. It was average really, she was eight years younger than him but with the life he lived he knew that he would be lucky to live as long as Clay and Piney had. He could end up like Otto, doing a long ass stint in the pen or he could be in a grave like Jon Teller. The life span was short for his profession, so far the longest standing member was Glen. The nomads were the men of myhem and they are all… well crazy. The nomad life didn't kill them, no it was the black on their souls that killed them. If they didn't have someone to help share the darkness, while it drove them to do their jobs it also slowly killed them. Hap knew with full certianity that if he didn't have T, he would die the same death as many before him had. Shit, even with her he had a higher chance at death than a lot of the other guys. He still had some of his sanity, unlike Tig he still knew his rights and wrongs but the month apart from her after fully being embraced in her, well he could feel the darkness closing in. Not that he would admit it to anyone. He really, just wanted his girl back.

-LK-

It had been one month since Hap's patch over. He no longer belonged to the Tacoma charter, not that he had for awhile but his whole time being nomad he spent a lot of time in Tacoma. It was easy to forget that he wasn't a part of their charter anymore. Now he was now member in the mother charter, he had planted his feet firmly in Charming, California. Mac wasn't all that shocked when it came up for him to go nomad, Hap was a free thinker, a wild spirit but he was surprised by his settling in Charming. The most shocking part was that T was still in Tacoma. She was still in her hide-a-way only coming out to play every once and awhile and firmly ignoring all comments and questions on a move to Charming and Hap. She didn't talk about him or Charming or what happened the night she took him away from the clubhouse except to ream Jonny for the tracking device. Mac had warned him but Jonny's over protective nature had won causing him to get a rather larger and loud earful from a very pissed off T a few days after Happy's departure.

Mac knew that T was thinking, most likely over thinking the whole situation. Every time he saw her, every time she did a job, he could see the darkness pulling at her a little bit. It could see the worry on her face when someone would bring up Hap, when she saw Glen's bike parked in the lot or when Jonny would announce that the Charming president had called. Mac would see her tense up before acting unfazed while quietly listening from whatever corner she had tucked herself into, something which was very Happy like.

Mac would never tell her or Hap and neither would Jonny that Charming had called twice, requesting that she come down there. They were pretty sure that Hap didn't know about either, the only advice that Jonny and Mac could give both the president and the VP was that the more they tried to force it the farther the two would pull. Both were more confident about her joining Hap in Charming when the time was right to the Charming members than either of them had really felt.

Mac could tell that T was getting close to finally just up and leaving for Charming, until Glen showed up two days ago with news that Hap had seriously fucked up Tig in a friendly ring fight after Tig gave him shit from a country CD of Hap's he "found". The look of murder on T's face was priceless to be honest¸ it was scary and the first sign to Mac that T was inches away from making the move that would change all of their lives. While T would never really be apart of the Charming Charter aside from being Hap's old lady, Clay would use that like ownership. Mac wished that when that day would come that he could be there to watch it blow up in his face because T wasn't owned. Not by Jonny or her father and she wouldn't let Clay own her either. The only person who had any control of her at any point was Ana, but Happy had a slight grasp. Not enough of course to force her to do Clay's biding. It would be funny to watch though, Clay getting his hopes and dreams smashed to bits and pieces. T would never allow Clay's drama and old fashioned ways run her. She would flip the fuck out. Of course being under the family aspect of the Tacoma, Nomad and Florida charters, because Zeke would be sure to pull the family card and Glen used her more than anyone else making her basically a nomad, it would end up bad for Clay. Not that the Tacoma or Florida guys would give him fair warning, shit even Glen wouldn't give the man warning and he and Clay were close. Nope, T was the biker princess if there ever was one and she was just as deadly as the rest of the clubs feared. It was a well known fact that she scared every single club member except for Happy.

Mac looked towards T, who had taken up residence in Hap's old corner. She was able to watch the door and the room with her back facing the wall. It was killer, protector 101 really but it still amazed him how much of the girl that joined them six years ago had changed, how now Killer instinct flowed through her veins. She was cat like, deadly and graceful in every single move she made. Mac smiled at her, she smiled back and downed her drink. Mac watched her get out from the table and leave the room. The weirdest part of the whole situation was how no one watched her leave or ask her where she was going, in fact it was almost like no one else could see her. She had became what she finally wanted, she was invisible.

-LK-

Jax and Clay had made calls pretty much begging that they send T down last week. The response they received were not really what they were hoping to hear. Clay was pissed that no one was meeting his demands or even taking them seriously. Jax was just worried about Hap's sanity. The fight between Hap and Tig was… ruff even for them. Jax figured that Hap would be better off with T down there, he seemed brighter around her. To Jax, well their reasons were good ones, but Clay felt they were disrespectful. Clay wanted the woman, for more reasons than because she balanced the killer but because she was a killer as well. She was smart, efficient and the most coveted woman in the whole damn MC world. Her being apart of the sons was good, but her being at the hands of the mother charter was better. He wanted her as a special weapon, once she was at his club the rules set up by Tacoma would no longer be hers too follow and maybe, just maybe he would finally be able to effectively shake the Mayans and the 9ners.

Either way, they still had Hap and they wanted him at his best. Tig had finally broke through to him, a night after their fight. Tig said that "Hap's fine, he just… misses his girl" that response had probably shocked Jax and Clay more than either of them ever thought possible. No one would ever have guessed that Hap could feel something as plain and simple as he missed his girl. Shit, it was just weird to see Hap worried about any type of female that wasn't his momma.

Tig really thought that it might be best to keep out of Hap and T's relationship and relayed as much to his president and VP. He hoped that they would listen, pushing T on Hap if she didn't want to come would be bad. Hap would know it was of force instead of want. Tig figured that now that Hap snapped, it was better to let the rest play out on its own. He wasnt snooping to be nosy, he was looking for a trigger to set him off and it worked. Hap got his anger out enough to talk a little about what the fuck was up. Right now, Tig knew that it all rested on T. He just hope that she proved better than the rest of the hoes and made shit right with her old man.

-LK-

T shook her head from where she sat in the corner. Hap had went fucking crazy over a CD, on Tig of all people. She might hate Tig and the rest of the Charming guys but she knew that Tig and Hap were close, the closest thing that Hap had to a friend other than Koz. Which had always made her laugh because Koz and Tig hated each other over a dog that died the year T had moved to Tacoma. Tig blames Koz and of course Koz takes it all in stride, T couldn't believe that with all the other shit that went on in the MC life, Tig was holding a grudge over a dog. Sure, mans best friend and all that but the six year feud was fucking old and had held Koz back from getting the transfer when he had really wanted it.

T could list more things she hated about Charming than she liked, so the fact that moving there was constantly crossing her mind meant that the few reason she had for moving there seemed to beat out the whole damn list of reason why she shouldn't. The main reason she even considered the move was because she missed Hap. She had released him on the crows there because she didn't want him harboring guilt if she did move there. She wouldn't let used up pussy scare her, if Hap wanted those nasty hoes, well than he could have them. He just better not bring back shit to her. She was pretty sure that if a crow eater ended up pregnant with his baby that she would kill him. All in all, she just didn't want to have a reason that made her feel like she had to move there. She wanted to do it when she was good and fucking ready. She didn't count on the fact that her night with Hap would open a flood gate of emotion she had long forgotten she could even posses. She missed him, not just the sexual part of their relationship either. She missed the fact that they could sit quietly, she missed the fact that he knew her better than she knew herself and she missed him because he was her best friend. The girls would never truly understand her like Hap because they didn't live the life she did. Not that she wanted them to, because she didn't want them to be anywhere near the life she lived. Even working on crime scenes seemed to be too close to it for her liking but she allowed them to be their own person. They had showed that they really did know how to do their job, so T's old boss finally quit giving them shit about her coming back. T was pretty sure that she would never be returning to that job.

Having Glen in the club house hit her heart because she knew that as he walked in the door, Happy wouldn't be following him like he use to. No Happy was in Charming, the last place she thought she would ever be is now the only place she really wanted to be. She smiled as she caught Mac watching her and slammed her drink before exiting the clubhouse. It was strange that she got what she wanted finally. No one asked her a million questions as she made her exit, no stared at her or tried to stop her from leaving. Nope, no one even looked at her, she felt invisible and she loved it.

As she drove out to her cabin, she couldn't get her mind off Happy. She hadn't really been able to keep her mind off him in the month since he had been gone. She remembered the way she cleaned up their clothes the morning after, she had hung his cut on the back of a chair instead of leaving it on the couch where she assumed he put it when they started getting undressed. How they got naked and up to her room was kind of a blur but all that mattered was that for one night, they got to really embrace each other and they both had wanted it. No longer was it one sided advances, now they were both equal parties in the loving disaster that is their relationship. T walked through the gate, pass the trampoline, into the house and headed straight for the stairs.

She changed into a stolen shit of Hap's that still smelled like him, and climbed in bed. She pulled the book off the bedside table and looked through it. She loved just looking at the pictures that Hap had drawn… She wanted to make all that he had drawn come true. She didn't want the fancy wedding or anything stupid that most little girls dreamed of. No she liked how she just randomly had a ring on her finger, after all she knew how the MC world worked. Being an old lady in the biker world was the same as being a wife in the normal world. Most MC couples just got married because if something happened, the government didn't recognize an old lady to be the same thing as a wife. She wasn't sure if Hap and her would ever get married even though the staff at Hap's mom's home thought that they were married something that Hap himself had told them. At the time, she had just figured that it was so if something happened to him like death or jail someone would be able to take care of his mom. No one better to do it than T, since she looked at the woman as the mother she had missed out on.

T placed the book back on her bedside table, turned the lamp off and put her head on her pillow. She missed knowing that if she wanted him to be, Hap would be laying next to her. It was her fault that she was sleeping alone. All she had to do was pack a couple bags, load up her car and drive to Charming. She knew in the reasonable part of her brain that it really was that easy even though she tried to make herself think different she knew that she was just making excuses. Well, laying there alone in her bed wrapped in a shirt that belonged to and smelt like Happy she admitted to herself that she needed to quit making excuses and just fucking do it. She was still fighting with herself by the time sleep over took her.

-LK-

Jax watched as a decked out silver Audi pulled into the lot. There seemed to be nothing wrong with the car when it pulled into the lot. In fact the car kept reminding Jax of something. He felt like he was missing something, like it was just out of his reach. Juices voice was what finally made the pieces click together. Jax yelled out to the Prospect to go hunt down Happy.

-LK-

Happy walked out of the clubhouse, saying that Jax wanted him and that he was supposed to hurry. If it was to fix another god damn car, Hap was pretty sure that he was going to kill someone. It didn't help his mood any that T hadn't been answering his call at all for the past two days. HE wasn't sure if he should be worried or pissed. He was a little of both, at the current moment and the fact that Jax was demanding that he come see something wasn't helping his mood any.

Hap walked out into the parking lot just as the door on the Audi opened. He watched as one tan leg after another stepped out of the car before finally revieling the last person he expected to see and the only person he wanted to see.

"Little Killer!" Hap hollered from where he was standing. Once he was closer he looked at her shaded eye through his own shades.

"What are you doing here?" Hap asked her. He was close enough to grab her but he wanted to hear her answer first.

She flipped her sunglasses up and took a step closer to him. Hap could smell her and he couldn't help but take a deep breath. She left a step between them before she looked at him in the eyes and answered his question.

"I think you know why I'm here." She replied before taking that last step and kissing him.

Hap wrapped one hand in her hair and the other around her waist pulling her as close as he could. Her hands were fisted in the front gripping hard onto his cut. As they pulled away, Hap flipped up his own glasses.

"Well its about damn time."

-LK-

**So I realize that some of you may think that this ending sucks but I had wanted for the story to end the same way it started. So much has changed from the way I thought I wanted the story to be but I am actually really happy with the way it turned out. I sequel may be in the making, which is why I left it open enough to give me a little room in case I do decide to do one. But I wanted there to be enough closure so that if I don't, the story can stand alone. Anyways Thank you to all my lovely readers who have stuck through this really crazy ride with me! Im so glad that you guys enjoyed it! Any questions PM me or leave them in your review, unless its about a sequel because now that this story is done I am going to focus on Love Life and Loss and hopefully Becoming a Killer before I even think about a sequel to this one **

**Xxx Laylasmommy3 xxX**


End file.
